Ahh the joy and free time of summer holidays! Here's another one; full of mindless chatter & staying up.

I Don't Want To Feel

Chapter Six

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This means more than I ever, ever thought it might.

--

That night, Harry gave up on sleep all together. After what Malfoy had said to him, he figured he'd never be able to sleep again anyway. He knew it was redundant (third night now), but those words...they wouldn't leave him. He couldn't understand why Malfoy affected him so much. He had never had someone...no, allowed someone to get to him like this; so why was it happening now?

Harry sighed, staring out the huge window at the Forbidden Forest outside. He awaited the tingling in his arm, knowing that any moment Voldemort would come back from the raid and realize that Harry was no longer guarding Malfoy. 'It's a bloody dungeon' Harry thought, leaning his head back against the wall roughly, 'why the hell would you need a guard? That place has more protection spells placed on it than Hogwarts.' It had only been about three days, and Harry was already sick and tired of his new 'job'. He did not become a Death Eater to do slave work. Suddenly, his arm began to tingle and he knew it was time to face his Master. This was not going to be good.

Harry apparated into Voldemort's main chamber and was startled to find Voldemort standing about a foot away from him. He tried to drop to his knees, muttering a quick 'master', but Voldemort stopped him.

"No, no, young Harry. No need for that." Voldemort said softly, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry tried not to cringe as he straightened his back and stared at the ground. "Now...look at me." Voldemort continued, his hand tightening on Harry's shoulder. Harry slowly looked up. "Where did you go?"

"Back to Hogwarts."

"Yes...and why, exactly?"

"Because Malfoy was pissing me off. Do you know how whiny that boy can be?"

"Ah. Well," Voldemort started, removing his hand from Harry's shoulder. He took a step back and narrowed his eyes at Harry. "Mr. Potter, do you realize that you yourself are just a 'boy' too?"

"Y--"

"And that you just disobeyed direct orders?"

"Y--"

"And that you are interrupting me?"

Harry closed his mouth and looked down.

"Now, Potter...usually I would torture you...or kill you, but; since I like you, I won't."

"I--yes, Master. Thank you." Harry gasped, glancing over at Voldemort.

"But I warn you, Potter. I do not hesitate to kill the servants that disobey."

"Yes, my Lord. You are...most merciful. Thank you."

"Go watch Malfoy. Properly."

"Yes, master."

Harry quickly spun on his heel and walked out of the room, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Malfoy." Harry muttered, nodding his head in the general direction of the cell as he sat down on the chair. Nobody answered and Harry sighed. "All right." Harry whispered to himself, slouching in the chair and staring at the cracks in the walls. After about five minutes of silence, however, Malfoy spoke up.

"You know it's bad to slouch, Potter. Can really hurt your back."

"Ah, there he is. I was trying to decide whether you had run away or just died in there. I was debating on whether I should go in there--but I didn't want to risk seeing a disindegrating body, so I decided to wait."

"Charming."

"Quite."

"Well...why are you back so soon? I figured I'd never see you again."

"I was sent back." Harry mumbled dejectedly, slouching even further down.

"Ah, Harry Potter...whipped."

"I am not whipped."

"You are whipped. Or, of course, you could just really like my company."

"Oh yes, definitely the latter...your company is all I dream about, Malfoy."

Malfoy walked up to the bars and smirked at Harry, his hair tousled as if he had been lying on the ground.

"Posture, Potter."

Harry glared and sat up slightly, crossing his arms. "I don't see how you can be saying that--you sleep on a stone floor."

"Oh yes, because I prefer it over the king size bed at the back of my cell."

"Hey, your loss." Harry said, smiling slightly and shrugging.

"I'm honoured."

"Um...for what?" Harry questioned, his smile fading quickly and his brow furrowing.

"You smiled."

"What are you talking about?"

"You smiled at me! Well, no...I guess not at me, but..."

"So?"

"So? This is...insane. Harry Potter doesn't smile!"

"You're crazy."

"Maybe, but I'm the crazy guy that made you smile."

"Malfoy, you sound like a love-sick puppy. Why do you care so much about whether I smile or not?" Harry questioned, his eyebrow raised. Malfoy's cheeky grin disappeared and he gave a half shrug.

"I don't know. It just seems like such a big accomplishment. From one fake smiler to another, you know?" Malfoy said, a small smile coming back onto his face.

"So this is the real Draco Malfoy, eh?"

"What?"

"You actually smile."

"Well...yes."

"I've never seen you smile."

"Potter--this is about you. Stop making it about me."

"But it's true. Why would you want to see me smile, didn't you see enough of it every time you made fun of me and my 'friends' as we joked around?"

"I--"

"That's right Malfoy. You're the one who never smiles."

There was silence, and Draco turned away from Harry and walked into the darkness of the cell. All Harry heard was him drop to the ground as he sat down against a wall.

"You have a way of ruining everything. I think you're the worst company anyone can have."

"Probably."

"Liven up, won't you Potter? I'm on my death bed here."

"Oh please, Malfoy. All you need to tell Voldemort and your father is that you've seen the error of your ways and are prepared to join them and take the Mark."

"Ha! They wish. I'll never join them...you."

"That hurts Malfoy. I'm disappointed."

"I might have...if you were on the right side."

"I am on the right side."

"That's what I once thought."

"Well then you shouldn't have changed your mind."

"Well then you shouldn't have helped me change my mind."

"What?"

"You. I saw you--so happy and with so many friends around you...and I--wanted to be like that. I mean, not like you...God no," Draco added quickly, and Harry scowled. "But like that." Draco finished, bowing his head as if ashamed.

"Why...are you telling me this?"

"I honestly do not know. I think being in jail has gotten to my head. Or maybe it's because I've kept all this in for so long and I just need to tell someone. Anyone."

"You're one big surprise, you know that Malfoy?"

"Me? Look at you."

"I guess we're both surprises."

"I thought we weren't 'both anything', Potter?" Draco said, smirking. Harry sighed and sat up straighter, clearing his throat.

"I guess I was wrong then, eh, Malfoy?" He smiled; and Draco smiled back.

"Finally, he realizes. The almighty Harry Potter agrees that he was wrong!"

"Oh please Malfoy. I've been wrong so many times it's not even funny."

"Really."

"Yes, really. And I really hate being wrong."

"Big surprise. Right now it seems like you hate everything."

"Just about."

"What about me, eh? Wasn't I always on top of that hate list?"

"I don't know...it depended on the day."

"What? No way! Go on Potter, you hate me!"

"Do you want me to hate you?"

"But--but--I worked so hard!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I worked so hard to annoy you! That was my top priority and I'm not even number one on Harry Potter's hate list!" Draco exclaimed, looking shocked.

Harry couldn't help it...he burst out laughing. Malfoy sounded ridiculous, and Harry couldn't help himself; he was actually enjoying it.

"And there you go...laughing!" Draco continued, looking suspicious suddenly. "What did Voldemort do to you?"

"Nothing..." Harry gasped, wiping his eyes from the tears that were forming from the laughter.

"Well, while you're in this mood I should tell you that I never really hated you. I was just...angry."

"What?" Harry laughed, "Don't kid yourself Malfoy! You hated my guts! There were numerous occasions on which you tried to kill me. They were...quite delightful."

"You denied my hand. You insulted me."

"You insulted Ron."

"Who you ended up ditching so easily. I mean, you could have at least chosen the better one."

"So you think you were the better choice?"

"I think that if you would have chosen me, you wouldn't be here right now."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. I never would have let you go that easily."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I know that they pushed you away...and that's what led you here. They all pushed you away."

Harry stared at Draco, his mouth slightly open. He could feel his eyes filling up again, and this time he knew it was not from laughter. He wasn't laughing anymore. His mind flashed back to memories with Ron and Hermione; his so-called friends. The Sorceror's Stone...the Chamber of Secrets...saving Sirius...'oh Sirius'...his fight with Ron...seeing Sirius fall...die...laughing with Ron...talking to Hermione...

The tears began to fall...and Draco watched. There was nothing he could do. Harry stood up, pacing, and trying not to show Draco what he had yet again managed to do.

Hermione and SPEW...talking to Remus...laughing with Ron, Seamus, Dean and Neville until crazy hours...Potions...Care of Magical Creatures...and Draco. Draco extending his hand.

Harry walked over to Draco, and Draco took a step back, unsure of what he was doing.

Harry extended his hand to Draco.

"You're right."

Draco gulped, eyeing the hand.

"Am I?"

"Yes. You were right yesterday and you were right today."

Draco remained silent, shocked at what was going on. He had not expected any of this. He almost bet himself that Harry would get angry and stampede away; maybe even hex him--but no. The complete opposite was happening. Harry was acknowledging what he was saying, showing emotion and offering his hand, which still was held in front of Draco, luring him in. Draco hesitated.

"Potter...do you know what you are doing?"

"Malfoy, you have kept me up for the past three nights. I have gotten about 5 hours of sleep all in all. Nobody has ever done that to me before...but your words...they...they--kill me. They make me wish I was someone else...just for a few hours. A few days. I--they make make me wish we could go back and do that first year over again."

They stared at each other for a while, and then Draco took Harry's hand.

"You're crazy, Potter."

Thar it is! (sorry, just watched POTC2 today! Awesomeness.) Thanks to everybody who reviewed! I luv you! 3

Till next time!

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