Chapter four

The scent of dying lilies

If you've ever lost some one that you considered to be the other half of you; the better half, you'll know the feeling of complete emptiness. It takes up every inch of you which is ironic because it's supposed to be emptiness how does emptiness fill you? He decided it must begin simply with the knowledge of being empty, then with that comes the age old saying of mind over matter, or I think there for I am; so there for if one thinks one is empty than one must be. After that the emptiness begins to take hold, instead of blood, it runs through your veins, it replaces the marrow in your bones, it evens takes hostage of your heart and replaces the oxygen with bitter emptiness. The weight you thought you were is no longer substantial enough to keep you anchored to this world and you realize through a blissfully melancholy epiphany that the other half of you was the only thing keeping you tied to your mortal flesh. So where does one go from here? It is the imperative question, surely the only question waiting for your breath to fill it with sound. 'Where does one go from here….?'

He was asking himself this very question even though he was barely conscience, he knew if he opened is eyes to the no doubt morbid reality of lying in a hospital bed; that Jack would have to ask himself basically what to do without Katie and that was enough to stop his heart all over again.

One eyelid flickered open and, he saw Bobby's hunched shadow asleep in the armchair directly beside him; Jack forced his eyelid closed, repulsed at the thought that had run through his mind just moments before; 'why are you here and not her, what was so special about you?' the question left a sour taste in his mouth. He decided that he would go to sleep and when he woke up if god had any mercy, Katie would be the one alive and he would be serenely unaware of his passing.

That was extremely unlikely but as he slumbered, the presence of her nuzzled beside him, breathing onto him the scent of dying lilies; 'Katie?' he whimpered, but she was already here locked forever in his heart.

It was the summer of '96 and in the words of Bobby Mercer 'a fucking scorcher!'. Two teenagers lay spread eagled on the roof of a small suburban house. The girl was clad in a pair of the boy's boxers and a bikini top which surprisingly had filled out since the previous summer, the boy was wearing the other pair of matching under garments and nothing else. Sweat like tiny jewels adorned her collar bone and slipped down the space between her breasts a place Jack Mercer hadn't noticed until now.

"So do you reckon Tommy Jones really likes me, like Jack has he said anything to you?" she asked, trying to suppress the flicker of hope in her voice.

"Of course he does, he asked me to ask you out didn't he?" he replied, annoyed.

"Well can't you call him and tell him I said yes?"

"No, I ain't calling a guy on the weekend, any way you should call him he's your fucking boyfriend!" Jack sat up abruptly and without paying her another glance leapt from the roof.

It didn't hurt, never did he looked up to find half her body craned tentatively over the edge "Jack, Jack how the hell am I gunna get down from here?" she demanded.

He shrugged "I duno ask you boyfriend-

"Eat shit, Jack all the windows are locked, go unlock the bedroom one for me-

"Nope" Jack answered simply and with that he had sauntered off into the humidity of his home, trying to act as uncaring as possible.

Half an hour later, after watching two re-runs of X-men Jack relented and trudged up the stairs, to open his bedroom window. He stuffed his head out of it to call her on inside but to his horror found that she was gone.

"Katie?-

"Where are you!-

Scrambling onto the roof, he looked over the edge hysteria building with each moment.

He knew before his eyes saw her all crumpled like a mid autumn leaf what had happened; she had tried to be brave, she had tried to be like him and she had plummeted off the roof landing a few metres from his doorstep. "Christ-

Jack without a moment's hesitation propelled himself off. He landed beside her on his feet of course.

"Katie, are you –alive was what he wanted to say- ok?'

She didn't even stir, he fell to his knees and even though at the back of his mind common knowledge told him not to touch a person who had fallen, he scooped her up and brought her onto his lap.

He didn't know for the life of him what to do, he wanted to call the ambulance but found himself unable to leave her alone, guilty of it already. He wanted to turn back time and go back to the place where she was chatting to him happily on the roof but he knew that was impossible, contrary to what movies may say. Instead Jack remembered reading somewhere in a magazine that if some one was in a coma, talking to them helped awaken them faster; if Katie was indeed in a coma Jack thought that he should at least try to bring her round.

"Do you remember last year when you and I mooned, principal Auguel? We blamed it all on the fat kid and his cousin Henry in room 2B- shit man I thought we were done for when Henry's ass turned out to be the size of Texas then we got suspended for three days and instead of telling our parents we ate candy bars in the soccer field. You taught me how to speak jibberish and I taught you how to wolf whistle? You were useless of course but we all agreed it was because of you lack of adult teeth and maybe next year when you had them all we could try again; well Katie it next year and you gotta wake up because you can't die without knowing how to wolf whistle- HELP ME PLEASE, SHE'S FALLEN, HELP ME!" he touched his face and realized he was sobbing a misty film of salty tears covering his cheeks "we were going to get pizza tonight, it was my shout but as always you'd pay because you always had the bucks, I got some money for us so I can pay we can get greasy, cheesy pizza's and I can sit there and pretend the sight of you doesn't make my heart skip a beat and when you talk about Tommy I'll pretend I'm your best friend not the other person I'd love to be-

He was leaning closer to her pale lips still uttering a slur of words "wake up Katie, for me- he whispered the words licking her lips "wake up and I'll never leave you side again- and as if it was the most naturalist thing in the world, he caressed her lips with his own and the air he was breathing was now being shared. She tasted of milkshakes and gummy bears-who wonderful he thought as he slowly pulled away and looked at her, it was then that her eyes fluttered open and she grinned back at him.

He choked on his own sorrow and gripped her so tightly in fear she would fade away and all that would be left of her was the skin of her soul "Oh Katie, I thought you were dead" he whimpered

She looked directly at him "Oh I was" she grinned again "you just brought me back."

He awoke, though against his will. The taste on his lips was milk shakes and gummy bears but his nose inhaled the smell of dying lilies. He could still feel her beside him, her pelvic one digging into the base of his back "open you eyes baby, don't be afraid" she cooed her hand fluttering up to brush away his head.

"But I can't not without you" he whispered.

"Oh but you can, Jackie you've always known you could"

For a moment he lay there, denying that she was gone but he knew, the smell of dying lilies had disappeared; her presence had departed from his side. So with nothing left to lose he opened his eyes and faced reality; even if it was more terrifying then the memories left behind.

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EbonyRose02: hey girl, well I know I promised that this chapter would be happy but it just didn't pan out that way.. I hope you still enjoyed it though, I really enjoyed writing this chapter! Thank you heaps for your review I really love em!

Bigamericanflirt: Howdy! Thanks you heaps for your review, lol it's so flattering to know some one really loves you story.. hope this chapter was up to scratch!

RockstarWriter86: Hullo! Well I granted you wish and as you can see or read Jack isn't dead although sadly Katie defiantly is. Any who thanks heaps and heaps for your review they're so special to me!

Mizz-Whizz49: Hey Dee, my friend.. oh I'm so happy that you told your ma about me and I humbly apologize for making you cry! Thanks a million for your lovely reviews every week you're such a loyal reviewer!

Athena xOH: My tornado chica! I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T EMAILED YOU IN AGES! AHH IM ABOUT TO DO IT NOW I PROMISE! Anywho lol well this review was lovely and long almost like one of my chapters, you a wonderful reviewer so thank you so so much and I hope you liked this chapter!

ImAdctd2A3rdClssRkStr: hullo! You and Athena should have a contest as to see who writes the longest chapters lol! Sorry I made you cry but at least I didn't kill Jack he's alive and kicking well so to speak! Ah my dinners about to be served so I gotta hurry OK SO THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR YOUR ENERGETIC REVIEWS!

MyWordisGood: Hey hope this was a good chapter to read. I'm loving your story so far its FANTASTIC! Ok so as I was saying before I'm in a rush BUT THANKS A MILLION TRILLION FOR YOUR LOYALTY AND REVIEWING EVERY CHAPTER!