I know it's been a long time coming, but I've been working on getting a new job and have been working my butt off as a private dogtrainer for two oversized dobermans that's been wearing me the hell out. So, here ya go. Enjoy:D

This week on Lifestyles of the Buff 'N Shameless...

Halloween Hijinks – Critical Costume Failures

The Halloween party was a success, as if anything hosted by Lex Luthor would be allowed to be anything but. The costumed hoards of the local teens hadn't destroyed the ballroom like he had privately feared, nor had they wandered beyond the 'safe areas' that he had posted. At least the fear of the Luthor name had some beneficial uses; a smirk twisted his lips as he quietly left the clean up to his efficiently working servants. He found himself sitting in his office waiting for his laptop to come online wondering vaguely if LiveJournal could be considered an addiction considering how often he found himself popping over at odd intervals in the day for an update. Lex gave a mental shrug and dismissed it as information gathering, no Luthor would be remiss on that duty, and navigated the links to see if The Nose had been updated.

There was a brief update, a notice really, stating that today's events were too spectacular to ruin by writing up a sub-par recounting while exhausted. She vowed to have at least the writing up by tomorrow afternoon, pictures as soon as KryptoAngel's services could be acquired. The post wasn't more than an hour old and already there were posts offering their manip skills if she couldn't be reached in time. It really was an amazing thing, seeing how many people who really didn't know anything more than what they were told by Chloe's journal and yet there they were, already on top of the updates as they happened and offering their help without bribery or coercion. He shut down his laptop and left his musings at his desk before wandering upstairs to sleep.

-Smooth-Criminal held the Halloween bash at his house yesterday night, and folks let me tell ya…it was one hell of a party. Farm-Boy ended up loosing his shirt, and nearly lost his pants. Total shame! But I'll explain that when we get to that part of the story. See, this is what happened:

-A couple months ago The Pink and I were plot-ah-discussing how we were going to arrange for Bondage Farm-Boy pictures. By asking Smooth-Criminal to run the idea by Farm-Boy to ensure the success of our plot we were able to prepare our 'surprised' faces for when he defended his costume choice to us. Farm-Boy wouldn't model the outfit for us, no matter how much we begged and pleaded with him. He would only tell us the character that he was basing his idea on, and that he was getting Smooth-Criminal's help in getting the pants.

-Everyone started arriving at Smooth-Criminal's home a little after the starting time designated, as if anyone would want to come late. Come late and you might miss out on some pretty interesting things. Farm-Boy was already there by the time The Pink and I arrived, and let me tell you…boy-howdy! Just look at this! How could you be so cruel Farm-Boy and hide this from the world! How!

KyrptoAngel softly chuckled in the darkened office, the maroon and gold colors from The Nose's LiveJournal lighting one corner while hues of blue flickered from the other computer monitor. With care and attention to the image being currently worked on KryptoAngel turned the photo of Clark rising from the pond into a surreal dreamscape. All but his body was turned into a fuzzy blue-tinged grayness while the water that rippled away from his arched body glowed with a golden hue. Tremors of anticipation rolled in their stomach as layers of faint burnish brushstrokes transformed the naturally golden skin into a bronzed work of art.

As he waited for the rendering on the art program to complete his latest changes, KryptoAngel returned to the other monitor where the rest of the Halloween's events unfolded in all of its embarrassing glory.

-To get it out of the way, the food was great, the drink even better, and the entertainment to die for. Now that I've said that I can focus my sugar-hyper mind onto the fiasco that was The Pink's costume. This year she wanted to go as a belly dancer, and why not? She's got the body for it, and for once it wasn't pink. Not a single shade of that color. I went as one of those Vegas showgirls, you know the kind that wear tux-tails and the heels and the top hat and have that spiffy cane? Yeah that's the one, that was me!

-So we were all enjoying the party, The Pink and I showing off our duds, trailing the Farm-Boy and Lady's-Man as Lady's-Man worked the circuit and was trying to find that one special lady. The songs had been fairly upbeat with a couple of slow ones thrown in so that couples could get some quality time in each other's arms and as The Pink and I had gone stag we decided it was high time that was hit the bathrooms for a break. That's when disaster struck.

-One of the other partygoers dressed as Snoopy was leaving the bathroom just as we were approaching the doors when their tail was accidentally caught up sending Snoopy to the ground. They flailed out for anything to catch upon to prevent their fall and unfortunately The Pink was the closest thing. Now she had managed to keep her flimsy pants but the even flimsier top didn't hold out under the onslaught. The straps that held the cups in-place snapped in several places leaving them too short to retie behind her neck. She ducked into the bathroom to hide as Snoopy apologized profusely. Had I not known Farm-Boy was going as Tyr from Andromeda I would have thought he was Snoopy.

-I promised to go and get her something to cover up with and ended up running into the Farm-Boy down the hall just outside the party room's doors. Concerned he asked where The Pink was and I quickly told him what had transpired. As usual he offered to help by retrieving his jacket for her to use, however, The Pink loudly protested through the closed door, as she didn't want to miss more of the party, and certainly not wearing a jacket. The Lady's-Man could only shrug his shoulders; he had arrived as a vest-less Sinbad and had nothing he could offer. Me? Well I had a perky long sleeved black short coat that wouldn't even come close to covering her necessary bits.

-Farm-Boy gallantly offered the chain shirt off of his back, suggesting that she could tie the broken straps to some of the links and fashion a top out of his that would cover everything without making her miss the party. It didn't take her long to have a hand thrust through the slight crack in the doorway waiting for Farm-Boy's shirt, and within a couple of minutes she reemerged wearing his shirt. She said that it was heavier than what it looked like but was still warm. He colored heavily and it crept down his neck and even his shoulders turned rosy.

A soft chime notified him of the completion of the rendering and with a quick minimization of the LiveJournal window to leave the layout program for the Torch papers he went to see the results of his work. The photo-manip was a success and all he needed to do was put his water signature on it and mail it off to Chloe. It was funny seeing his work on her site, equally as funny seeing all the references to him as 'her.' The door to the Torch opening just as his email confirmation registered made him glad that he had minimized the window to the LiveJournal.

"Just letting you know that I'll be heading home in half an hour, Mr. Ross. Be sure to shut everything down in here before you go," the janitor's voice drifted in softly.

"No problem Mr. D, just putting the finishing touches on this for Chloe for tomorrow. You know how she can get about her projects," Pete replied with a grin.

The janitor laughed and nodded before he shut the door leaving Pete to close down the computers in silence. Pete flipped open his cell phone and dialed Clark while he went through the familiar practice of erasing the presence of his alternate work that didn't involve The Torch. He was picking up his backpack and walking out the door as Clark picked up the phone.

"Hey Clark," Pete greeted as he waved a cheerful good-bye to the janitor.

"Pete! How'd it go tonight?"

"Went great, she wanted a photo of you in the pond worked on. Got it done, should give them something to squeal over for the next couple of days with their net-friends."

"Sounds good to me. Mom's cooked up some chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner tonight, you wanna come over?"

"Would I pass up your mom's cooking?" he asked playfully.

They both laughed before Pete hung up and drove to the Kent Farm for dinner.