Isn't life funny ? just a few days ago, Rachel was packing for Paris and now she was packing to go to Long Island. Rachel and Emma were going to be staying at Ross' parents for the next seven days. In the Jewish religion, the seven most important people to the deceased would not bathe or wear make up, or shave , or wear leather shoes, out of respect for the dead person.In Ross ' case, his parents , his son , his daughter, Monica and Chandler, and Rachel would be sitting Shiva.
She realized that she was not his legal wife, but she was the woman he loved, so Monica knew her place was with the Gellers. This was all foreign to Chandler, since he was not religious or Jewish. He considered it a great honor though to do this for his friend and brother in law. Phoebe and Mike were going to watch the babies while everyone was in Long Island. It would give them practice for when they had their own children. Rachel had gone to City Hall to officially change Emma's name to Emma Geller. It was the very least she could do to let his daughter have his name.
Arriving at the Geller house. Monica walked onto the front porch and noticed a wreath with a black ribbon on the door. She quietly opened the door to see the stools on the carpet. All of the mirrors had black cloths over them. Judy had also put away all pictures and also closed the door to Ross' old room. Beds were put in Monica's old room, and the gym equipment was stored away. It was considered vanity to have it. Wearing a track suit, Judy had her hair pulled back. Her usually made up face was clean. She greeted the other mourners and then the group sat down.
"What is all this for?" asked Chandler.
"So we can show Ross how much we loved him." Answered Monica.
"You Jewish people have some real weird customs." Chandler said as he shook his head.
"Chandler , did you know that Ben or Emma can't get their hair cut for a whole year. Or shave." Said Rachel, also familiar with the faith.
"That is a real strain on a ten year old." He said . "Rachel , you must love Ross."
"Why is that?" asked Rachel . Almost afraid to hear what he was going to say. But this was what they needed right now. They needed some of that Chandler humor.
"No mirror , no make up, Ross always said that you were into your looks." He laughed.
"You and that stupid list. Do you realize we almost didn't get together because of that stupid list." Rachel said as she playfully swatted Chandler.
"Hey Rachel , remember the time that you and I fought over the condom, boy was Richard mad." Giggled Monica.
"I think the sillier sight was Richard in your robe and Ross in mine." Laughed Rachel.
"So I guess we can expect a visit from the Big Tree." Snided Chandler.
"Big Tree?" asked Jack confused.
"Mom . Dad. Chandler still is very jealous of Richard. He has this fear that one day he is going to lose me to him." Monica said eyeing Chandler.
"I do not." Defended Chandler.
At that moment, the doorbell rang and Judy ran to get it. "Richard, we are so glad to see you. Come in." Richard Burke entered and brought in three boxes of food. "I remembered that you liked the cakes at that bakery in New Jersey, so I got you one." He said to Monica. "I love that bakery. Best buttery and creamy icing." She gave Richard a peck on the cheek. "And I also brought a cheesecake." He said to Chandler. "I love this man." He wept."Me too." Sighed Rachel.
Richard came over and gave Rachel a hug. "How you holding up kid?" he said. Rachel buried herself in this man's huge arms. "I am trying to be strong for Emma."she sobbed. "It'll get better." He smiled. "Well as long as I am here. I might as well eat." He went over to the table and grabbed a plate.
"I smell food." Exclaimed Joey as he walked into the house. "Why are all of your mirrors covered up?" he asked .
"So we are not concerned with our looks because we are in mourning." Explained Judy.
"Hey Rach, you really must love Ross then. She is always putting on make up and doing her hair and changing ten times a day." He laughed.
"Joe, go eat. " Chandler said disgusted. Joey headed for the food.
"You know we should talk about the stone." Said Monica to her parents. "I think it should say Devoted Father, Dedicated Teacher and Loving Friend."
"I think it should have a dinosaur on it." Ben popped up.
Judy nodded her head. "Yes Ben , it should have a dinosaur on it. It will also have on it the Star of David. That is the symbol of our faith. When you become a little older, you are going to have a bar mitzvah, just like your father did. When Emma is thirteen ,she will have a bat mitzvah, that means she will become a woman in the eyes of the church."
"Hey Mom and Dad, remember when Ross rapped at my bat mitzvah , I was ready to kill him." Monica reminisced.
Ben became curious. "Grandma, what was Daddy like when he was my age?" Ben's eyes opened wide with wonder as he sat on his grandfather's lap. Judy smiled at him.
"Well Ben, he was always reading. And he would have his little dinosaurs and play with them. Sometimes he would pretend he was looking for them as an explorer. He was in the scouts and he won a lot of merit badges. Of course , he did very well in school." Judy said proudly.
Rachel tried to remember a ten or eleven year old Ross. She probably did play with him, she didn't start to shun him until she reached her teen years. As long as she could remember, whenever she came over to visit Monica, he was there.
Shiva had passed and the formidable task of getting the apartment ready to be sold was in front of them. The five friends had gathered to make this unpleasant task easy on Rachel. There had been a will , so Emma and Ben were well provided for. Personal things were left to the gang , but the biggest shock came from the insurance company. Rachel figured that his beneficiary would either be Ben or Monica. Instead she was informed that she was the beneficiary of his policy. Even in his death, he still showed how much he loved her. That touched her greatly.
Going through the closet was the hardest. Rachel lovingly took the jackets and the suits off their hangers and put them in boxes. Ross was taller and thinner than Chandler and Joey, so Rachel was going to give his clothes to a homeless shelter. Finshing those things, she opened the dresser. There were some t shirts that she still wanted to keep. Rachel loved to wear shirts, even though they bagged on her so much. But these shirts would keep him close. She put them in boxes marked casual clothes. As she held them up , they presented a history of events in his life. There was a shirt from Barbados, several Knicks shirts, a shirt that said Geology Rocks, a shirt from London, then there it was at the bottom of the drawer. She didn't know how she could have forgotten it when she moved back to Joey's , but the shirt did have a special memory. It was this tiny white T shirt that said on it FRANKIE SAY RELAX… Rachel 's face started to tear up again. She took the shirt and held it up to her face and then cried into it. When her and Ross broke up, he had taken back his stuff , including this shirt which he didn't know she loved so much. She told him she wanted to keep it and he didn't make a big deal about it, but he let her keep it.
Walking over to the desk, Rachel felt a little self conscious about this. This was after all his private papers and stuff. She was actually a little bit frightened. Breathing a sigh of relief, she was glad that everyone left her alone and that Monica was watching Emma while she did this. Slowly she pulled open the drawers and sorted through its contents. Most of it was old lesson plans, or bills. But there were old letters that she wrote to him, drawings that Ben had made that he kept , and some of his unpublished paleontology papers. Rachel just shook her head as she unearthed each treasure. That is until she found a tiny jewelry box. She examined it and then opened it. Gasping , she realized that it was not the ring Joey had found but another. On top of it was an unopened pink envelope. In that messy childish hand of his it said Happy First Anniversary Rachel. Rachel curiously opened it and slid the card from the envelope. It read….
Happy Anniversary my darling. Tonight is one of the most memorable nights of our lives. One year ago today we watched that video and then we became a couple. But we want to look ahead , not back. I have never nor will I ever love somebody as much as I love you Rachel. I want you to remember this night always. You are as Phoebe said "my lobster." That's kind of funny considering I am deathly allergic to lobster. I have waited so long for you, but as you said the night we first made love You were worth the wait. To the dreams of the past and the hopes of the future.
With all my love , Ross
Rachel took the ring from the box and fitted it to her finger. She held it up to the light and looked at it shining. Was this ring supposed to go with this card she never got.? Of course , she never got it because they broke up that night. The card 's front had significance to her as well. It showed a couple sitting on a blanket in the middle of a field with a star covered sky. It bore the simple words. "Our love must have been meant to be. It was written in the stars." Tears came to her eyes as she realized how long this ring had sat in that desk. He had been in love with her all this time. It was entirely possible that day in London , when he slipped and said her name instead of Emily's , that he was thinking of her.
Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me , and loving me tonight
Somewhere out there, someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there
And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind sings a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we 're sleeping underneath the same big sky
Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together, somewhere out there out where dreams come true.
Monica crept in quietly, as Emma ran to see her mother on her knees and the ring on her finger. Rachel looked up at her and scooped Emma in her arms.
Then she turned to Monica. "Why didn't you tell me?" Rachel said as she showed her the ring. Monica just gave her the sweetest look. "He made me promise not to, because it was a surprise. That's why he was so mad you had to work that night. It was all planned." Monica whispered.
Rachel stood up. "The night of your parents anniversary, when we were pretending to be married. He told everyone about how he took me to the planetarium at the museum and with The Way you Look Tonight playing and candles and flowers , he proposed by having the stars spell out will you marry me?" Monica shook her head. "That's how he described it to me. I remember thinking God does my brother love this woman. I wanted to have a man propose to me like that." Monica whispered.
Rachel was stunned by this revelation. Her hands came up to her mouth. Emma jumped up on her. "Mommy I sleepy." She said yawning. Monica put her arm around her. "Are you going to be alright here tonight?" Rachel walked in and looked at the unslept bed that she hadn't been in since the last night Ross was alive. It was made and neat , so characteristic of him. It was big too, She was sad as she thought of how many nights he laid in that huge bed alone. This especially bothered her as she remembered when she was pregnant with Emma and after, how many nights she just wanted to go in there and crawl into bed with him. Now she would sleep alone in that bed.
"Emma how would you like to sleep with Mommy tonight?" Rachel said looking with love at the little angel. "Yay Mommy." She squealed. "I'll go get Dino." She ran to her bedroom and grabbed a stuffed orange dinosaur. Rachel scooped her up into her arms and carried her into the big bedroom. She pulled off her top and put on her little Care Bear jammies. Looking up into her eyes , she smiled at what Ross once called a little version of her. God why couldn't they have been brown like his. Then tiny Emma crinkled up the corners of her mouth, Rachel saw it immediately. It was Ross' smile. The smile that he gave her when he was happy.
Rachel pulled out an oversized pair of lounging pants. She didn't notice until they were on, that they had dinosaurs all over them. They must have been a present. Going through the box, only one shirt could be worn. She pulled it over her head , shaking her blondish hair and pulling it down. The ancient shirt still fit so well and was so soft. Pulling down the covers, she laid down and then she lifted Emma by her side. Rachel buried Emma in her arms and slowly the two of them drifted off to sleep. At least sleep gave her a reprieve from this terrible night mare.