"Do you think they are going say anything?" asked Russ as he had his arm around Rachel and they walked in to the Bing's house in Westchester. He leaned over to kiss her. Russ and her started off as friends, but now were seeing each other. There was only one problem, they still had not slept together. Right now, Rachel needed comfort and companionship, not the messiness of a relationship. This was the first time that she was bringing him to be with the group.

"Should we say anything?' said Monica as she brought the plate of hamburgers out to Chandler on the grill. "I mean it is weird." She said. "Ross hasn't even been dead and here she is dating another guy." Chandler looked at her. "Have you forgotten this guy Russ? This guy was so much like him , that is probably why she is dating him." Said Chandler as he put the burgers on the grill.

"That's exactly what I mean. I mean what if she keeps seeing him and then they get married. It will be very odd to have a friend who is the spitting image of my dead brother." Monica said with a shudder.

"Well this is Joey's farewell and we said that she could bring him, so let's make the best of it." Chandler said as he put his arm around Monica. Phoebe rolled the stroller out onto the patio and then looked at the grill.

"There better be a veggie burger there Bing." She commanded. Turning to Monica, she softened her tone. "They have had their little nap and now they want some sun." Phoebe said as she took the sun cover off the carriage. The twins just looked up at their mommy and smiled and gurgled.

"My little sweeties." Cooed Monica. "Are you ready for Uncle Joey's party?" The little babies smiled and cooed some more.

"Who all is coming to the party?" Phoebe asked as Emma ran and jumped into her arms. "Aunt Feefee?" she smiled happily. Phoebe was glad to see her little niece. "Hi Miss Emma, and where is your mommy?" At that moment, Rachel walked in , with her hand in Russ'. Phoebe looked at them as if she had seen a ghost.

"You remember Russ ? Phoebe? " Rachel smiled and looked at him. Phoebe spent a few minutes just staring at Russ. "Hi Phoebe." He said as he smiled at her.

Monica came over and tapped Rachel on the arm. "Can I see you Rach?" asked Monica as she led her into the kitchen. Closing the door, she screamed. "Have you lost your mind?" Rachel looked at her with a puzzled look, even though deep down she knew what the tirade was about.

"Monica , I know what you are going to say." Said Rachel calmly. "And what is that?" Monica stood with her hands on her hips and continued to give her dirty looks."Russ, Rachel? Why him ? Doesn't it bother you that you are dating a guy not even three months after you bury my brother that is a carbon copy of Ross?"

"Russ is good to talk to and besides that he is a nice guy." Rachel defended herself.

"Have you thought about what you are doing to Emma?" Monica continued. "You are confusing her. Soon she is going to be calling Russ daddy. Do you want your daughter to completely forget her father by finding a man who could be his twin? Is that fair to my brother's memory? "

"Emma will not forget Ross, I will see to that." Exclaimed Rachel. "Besides that Mon, we haven' even slept together yet. I can 't allow myself to go that far yet." Monica clasped her hands in thanksgiving."Mon I sat down and realized something the other day. " Rachel said with a shaky voice. "I realized that if I wouldn't wanted some more wine the night of the shooting. Ross would still be alive. It is my fault that he is dead. I deprived my child of growing up with a father." Rachel sobbed and then fell into Monica's arms. "You mean the reason he went there was you?" Monica asked surprised. "Yes, I mean we were so happy. We were laying in bed after we had made love." Rachel sighed and then the tears fell.

Monica put her hands up to stop her. "Hold it right there. I know you were in love with him, but I don't need to hear the sexcapades with you and my brother."

"Oh my God, Mon. I miss him so much. I thought if I had someone around like Russ. I wouldn't, but I do miss him." Rachel fell into her arms again. Monica quietly shushed her and rubbed her back. "You've got to tell him." Monica sighed. "Russ is too nice of a guy for this. It isn't fair to him and you would be living in a fantasy if you did stay with him."

Monica was right . Russ was only a substitute for Ross. Her Ross patch so to speak. Emma was already thinking of him as a substitute for her father. Rachel looked over at his sad , pathetic look. It made her even sadder. She realized that just like before, she was using him to replace Ross.

That night after everyone had said their good byes to Joey. Rachel and Russ sat in the coffee shop. Emma was spending some time at Monica and Chandler's . Rachel had requested it, so Russ could be let down easy.

"Russ , sweetie let's talk." Rachel said as she patted his hand. "Russ, this is always hard to do." Russ looked at her with his dark brown eyes. She kept trying to avoid them to make this less painful for the both of them. "Russ , you are a really sweet guy, but it is just not working out. I have been trying to replace Ross with someone who …" Rachel stopped.

"Reminds you in every way but one of him, and you won't let me have that way." Russ said deadly. "Why are you afraid that I will remind you of that too?" Rachel turned to face him and grabbed his upper arm. "Do you understand? I was using you.? I was using your company and you to replace him." Russ stood up and started to kiss her. He grabbed her passionately. "No ! " No!" she pushed herself away. "It's over Russ." She screamed. "Please just go." She whispered.

Going back to the apartment, she went through the cds and then pulled out one that she particularly liked. She poured herself a glass of wine and then listened to his Van Morrison cd. Lighting the candles, she sat on the couch. Even though it was her apartment now, it still reeked of the memory of him.

"What are you going to do now Ross to annoy me?" a very pregnant and irritable Rachel said as Ross ' face began to turn red. In the past , it could be interpreted as Red Ross. He had a lot of anger issues and sometimes he actually frightened people. Out of the clear blue sky, he grabbed her face and started to kiss her. Rachel was shocked , she backed away. "What are you doing?" she asked . "I'm getting that kid out of you." He screamed as he grabbed her body. He started to nuzzle her neck. His favorite form of foreplay. "Ohhh " she groaned. "Oh I know." He affirmed. Rachel put her hand on the front of her shirt and it was soak and wet. She looked down. "I think my water just broke." She said softly. "I am good." He yelled with a smile. Grabbing a pillow and her bag, Ross went over while Rachel waited for him. He looked up at her and smiled. "We're having a baby." He said proudly and then kissed her again. Rachel had to admit she was turned on. It was a combination of her crazy hormones and the feelings she was fighting for this man. "I didn't read this part of the book , but are we going to have time for this." She looked at him seductively. "No." he said as they went out the door. It turned out they would have time and five women, including the infamous Janice would come and go before they had their precious little angel Emma Geller Green

Rachel went over to the picture on her white bookshelf. "Oh Ross, I can't do this anymore. " she cried."Do you know how easy it would be for me to join you? I thought as the days went by, it would be easier, but now I can't even remember how you sounded or how you felt. I would give anything to be with you one last time." She sobbed.

Suddenly when her eyes had been covered , she opened them. And there in her blue chair he was sitting . Grinning at her, like it was three months ago.

"Hey you." He smiled .