Yay! update! A little later than planned, but school is hell at the moment, and I knew that I wouldn't like to type this chapter, seeing as not half of the text below is my own... (and that is also my statement for this chapter that I ain't JK)
thanks to my beta LEAD, and enjoy reading!
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Remus had never seen such surprised faces as those of Harry, Hermione and Ron when Sirius finished that sentence. There was a silence in which the three students looked at him and Sirius as if they were incredibly stupid.
"You're both mental," Ron ended the silence.
"Ridiculous!" Hermione said faintly.
"Peter Pettigrew is dead!" Harry said, looking as if he had to make a great effort to keep himself from shouting again. "He killed him twelve years ago!" Harry pointed at Sirius.
"I meant to, but little Peter got the better of me . . ." Sirius looked suddenly at the rat in Ron's hands. "Not this time though!"
Before Remus could understand what was happening, Sirius jumped at Ron, shaking off the cat that was lying on him, and was falling with all his weight on Ron's leg.
But wait… Remus' brain was working on top-speed…. If they killed Pettigrew before they explained to Harry and his friends, how could they ever explain it?
"Sirius, NO!" Remus shouted, and he pulled Sirius off Ron, who yelled in pain. "WAIT! You can't do it just like that – they need to understand – we've got to explain—," he said, trying to keep his old friend away from Ron.
"We can explain afterwards!" Sirius tried to throw Remus off, but Remus only grabbed him more. Remus looked at Ron, who was holding Peter tightly, but that didn't prevent "Scabbers" from wriggling and scratching Ron's face. He felt himself growing tired and knew that he had to find another way to convince Sirius that his own tactic was the best.
"They've – got – a – right – to – know – everything!" Sirius seemed to listen, while trying to reach the rat, and was struggling less hard. "Ron's kept him as a pet! There are parts of it even I don't understand!" It seemed that Sirius had chosen not to listen anymore and was again struggling as hard as he could. Then it came to him: the argument he knew Sirius would at least listen to.
"And Harry —" Sirius slowed down again, "You owe Harry the truth, Sirius!"
Sirius stopped almost immediately. He still had his eyes fixed on Peter, but he had stopped trying to catch him.
"All right, then. Tell them whatever you like. But make it quick, Remus. I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for . . ."
Remus noticed that Sirius said it with an air of nonchalance, but at the same time it was obvious that it did matter to him what Harry and his friends thought. Remus opened his mouth, to start, but . . .
"You're nutters, both of you. I've had enough of this. I'm off," said Ron, his eyes flashing from Hermione and Harry towards Sirius and Remus.
But leaving wasn't an option, and Remus had to make that clear. He pointed his wand at Ron (Although Peter was the real object he was aiming for,) and said quietly, in a demanding tone,
"You're going to hear me out, Ron. Just keep a tight hold on Peter while you listen."
"HE'S NOT PETER, HE'S SCABBERS!" Ron yelled back. He had tried to swing himself off the bed to stand again. He now almost fell to the floor, with no hands to break his fall because they were still busy with holding Peter. Harry caught Ron before he fell, put him back on the bed and turned to Remus.
"There were witnesses who saw Pettigrew die. A whole street full of them . . ."
"They didn't see what they thought they saw!" Sirius snarled, and Remus suddenly remembered that Peter had always been rather good in disillusion-spells . . .
"Everyone thought Sirius killed Peter. I believed it myself – until I saw the map tonight. Because the Marauder's Map never lies . . . Peter's alive. Ron's holding him, Harry," he said gently, trying to make them see it. But the moment he was done talking, he saw Harry sharing a look with Ron, agreeing with each other that they thought Sirius and Remus were crazy.
"But Professor Lupin . . . Scabbers can't be Pettigrew... it just can't be true, you know it can't . . ." Hermione's voice spoke to him with the same tone as he had tried to persuade them.
"Why can't it be true?" he asked calmly, waiting her out, knowing that he couldn't be wrong.
"Because... because people would know if Peter Pettigrew had been an Animagus. We did Animagi in class with Professor McGonnagall. And I looked them up when I did my homework – the Ministry keeps tabs on witches and wizards who can become animals; there's a register showing what animal you can become, and their markings and things . . . and I went and looked Professor McGonnagall up on the register, and there have only been seven Animagi this century, and Pettigrew's name wasn't on the list—"
Before Hermione had finished her story, Remus started to laugh. This whole situation was somewhat ridiculous. Here he was, sitting with two school friends in the same room, trying to explain to three teenagers that one of them was a murderer, and that it wasn't the one they thought. And there Hermione was, trying to make everything work out logically in her head and coming up with her best argument, as if she was trying to say that he was wrong . . . as if it was some kind of game . . .
"Right again, Hermione! But the Ministry never knew that there used to be three unregistered Animagi running around Hogwarts."
"If you're going to tell them the story, get a move on, Remus. I've waited twelve years, I'm not going to wait much longer," said Sirius, who still had his eyes fixed on Peter.
"All right . . . but you'll need to help me, Sirius. I only know how it began . . ." He was going to add that it was necessary for them to start that early, but he was interrupted again, this time by a loud creak, while the door opened of its own accord.
"No one there . . ." he said, to comfort both the students and himself. He wondered if he had spoken the truth in that last sentence.
"This place is haunted!" Ron said, his voice sounding somewhat higher.
"It's not. The Shrieking Shack was never haunted . . . the screams and howls the villagers used to hear were made by me." Although he didn't look at anyone in particular, he felt that (with the exception of Sirius') he had all eyes on him. This was actually a good point to start from . . . he pushed some hair out of his face . . .
"That's where all of this starts – with my becoming a werewolf. None of this could have happened if I hadn't been bitten . . . and if I hadn't been so foolhardy . . ."
Unexpectedly, he felt a huge wave of guilt. If he hadn't gone to Hogwarts, as normal werewolves didn't, he would never have become a Marauder, they would never have become Animagi to help him, and perhaps James and Lily could have been saved. And if it they couldn't, at least their real killer would be locked up . . . He heard Hermione shushing Ron and realised that they were waiting for more.
"I was a very small boy when I received the bite. My parents tried everything, but in those days there was no cure. The potion that Professor Snape has been making for me is a very recent discovery. It makes me safe, you see. As long as I take it in the week preceding the full moon, I keep my mind when I transform...I am able to curl up in my office, a harmless wolf, and wait for the moon to wane again."
Explaining everything was easier than he thought and he felt actually a bit relieved.
"Before the Wolfsbane Potion was discovered, however, I became a fully fledged monster once a month. It seemed impossible that I would be able to come to Hogwarts. Other parents weren't likely to want their children exposed to me."
His mind wandered for a second at his last year in primary school. He hadn't had a lot of contact with them, especially because his parents had made a habit of moving quickly from one town to another since he got ill, but it still had made him sad to hear about all their future plans and next schools they would go to. He had probably then just realised that a normal future wouldn't be possible anymore . . .
"But then Dumbledore became Headmaster, and he was sympathetic. He said that, as long as we took certain precautions, there was no reason I shouldn't come to school."
In a flash, Remus remembered his conversation with Harry, when his tongue had almost slipped with regard to a certain tree.
"I told you, months ago, that the Whomping Willow was planted the year I came to Hogwarts. The truth is that it was planted because I had come to Hogwarts. This house," he motioned with his hands around him, "the tunnel that leads to it – they were built for my use. Once a month, I was smuggled out of the castle, into this place, to transform. The tree was placed at the tunnel mouth to stop anyone coming across me while I was dangerous."
He felt the same as he had felt back then; sad, lonely and afraid for what had to come those nights. He sighed inaudibly and proceeded, glad that no one was interrupting.
He told them more. About the pain he endured in that time, pain that came with every transformation. About the howls, and the scratching and the villagers, and how they believed the place was haunted. How Dumbledore had encouraged that thought – he had even put sound effect spells on the house so that the villagers wouldn't wonder why they only heard the howls at a full moon.
He looked around. Harry was listening, his face unreadable. Hermione was looking at him, nodding at almost every sentence he spoke, while Ron was lying on the bed, not looking, because he still needed both his hands and eyes for Peter, who was the only one making any noise. Sirius had his eyes on Peter, and stood with his back towards Remus, but something in his posture made Remus sure that he also was listening intensely. Remus realised that he had never talked so freely about his condition and history as tonight, not even when he had been in school.
"But apart from my transformations, I was happier than I had ever been in my life. For the first time ever, I had friends, three great friends. Sirius Black . . ." He looked at him, and Sirius had turned his head and looked back . . . in one gaze, Remus understood that Sirius felt sorry for him, but at the same time wanted to end the story very quickly, "Peter Pettigrew," he said, looking at the rat, who lay still for one moment and looked back. For as far as it was possible for a rat, his eyes looked scared . . . "And, of course, your father, Harry – James Potter." Harry looked back. In the dark room, his eyes were barely visible, and if Remus hadn't told himself a thousand times this year that Harry was Harry, not James, he would have been sure that James was standing there.
"Now, my three friends could hardly fail to notice that I disappeared once a month. I made up all sort of stories. I told them my mother was ill, and that I had to go home to see her . . . I was terrified they would desert me the moment that found out what I was. But of course, they, like you, Hermione, worked out the truth . . ."
He thought back at the werewolf-lesson in the second year, when he had sat with a red face, believing that everyone could see an arrow pointing to him, with big neon-lights spelling out the word werewolf . . .
"And they didn't desert me at all. Instead they did something for me that would make my transformations not only bearable, but the best times of my life. They became Animagi."
Sirius shot him another look.
"My dad too?" Harry now asked, his mouth hanging a bit open and his eyes surprised.
"Yes, indeed," he answered, and immediately, Remus saw Prongs in his mind. "It took them the better part of three years to work out how to do it. Your father and Sirius here were the cleverest students in the school, and lucky they were, because the Animagus transformation can go horribly wrong – one reason the Ministry keeps a close watch on those attempting to do it. Peter needed all the help he could get from James and Sirius."
Speaking Peter's name reminded Remus why they were here.
"Finally, in our fifth year, they managed it. They could each turn into a different animal at will."
"But how did that help you?" Hermione asked.
"They couldn't keep me company as humans, so they kept me company as animals. A werewolf is only a danger to people. They snuck out of the castle every month under James's Invisibility Cloak. They transformed . . . Peter, as the smallest," he shot the still squeaking rat a disgusted look, "could slip beneath the Willow's attacking branches and touch the knot that freezes it. They would then slip down the tunnel and join me. Under their influence, I became less dangerous. My body was still wolfish, but my mind seemed to become less so while I was with them."
He opened his mouth to tell some more about their Animagus transformations, but he got cut of by Sirius.
"Hurry up, Remus!"
"I'm getting there, Sirius, I'm getting there . . . well, highly exciting possibilities were open to us now we could all transform. Soon, we were leaving the Shrieking Shack and roaming the school grounds and the village by night. Sirius and James transformed into such large animals, they were able to keep a werewolf in check. I doubt whether any Hogwarts students ever found out more about the Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade than we did . . ." He couldn't help himself: the last sentence came out proudly.
"And that's how we came to write the Marauder's Map, and sign it with our nicknames. Sirius is Padfoot. Peter is Wormtail. James was Prongs."
"What sort of animal–?" Harry began to ask a question Remus had fully expected since he had started to tell about their Animagi adventures. However, he was cut off by Hermione.
"That was still really dangerous! Running around in the dark with a werewolf! What if you'd given the others the slip, and bitten somebody?"
Hermione had somehow figured out his worst fear. Had she guessed it from his Boggart form or did she just said what she thought? He swallowed and said, a bit more quietly:
"A thought that still haunts me. And there were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless – carried away with our own cleverness."
He found it hard to swallow. He had thought about his school time quite a lot this last year. He had thought about how he had been betraying Dumbledore during that time also, but only now he realised that he had never cared back then: he even had laughed about it, hadn't he? How much had he changed? Now he almost felt the weight of the secret pressing on his shoulders . . .
But had he changed? He remembered that he had that guilt, but had only pushed it away as far as he could.
"I sometimes felt guilty about betraying Dumbledore's trust, of course . . ." He was saying this more for his own sake than for his audience's.
"He had admitted me to Hogwarts when no other Headmaster would have done so, and he had no idea I was breaking the rules he had set down for my own and others' safety. He never knew I had led three fellow students into becoming Animagi illegally. But I always managed to forget my guilty feelings every time we sat down to plan our next month's adventure. And I haven't changed . . ." he said those last words suddenly, understanding that he hadn't changed a bit.
"All this year, I have been battling with myself, wondering whether I should tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus. But I didn't do it. Why? Because I was too cowardly. It would have meant admitting that I'd betrayed his trust while I was at school, admitting that I'd led others along with me . . . and Dumbledore's trust has meant everything to me. He let me into Hogwarts as a boy, and he gave me a job, when I have been shunned all my adult life, unable to find paid work because of what I am. And so I convinced myself that Sirius was getting into the school using Dark Arts he learned from Voldemort, that being an Animagus had nothing to do with it . . ."
Remus had forgotten completely that he had an audience listening, consisting of a rat who was his former friend, a falsely accused mass-murderer, waiting until he could murder, and three students, whose mouths were hanging open at the moment.
". . . so in a way, Snape's been right about me all along," he said, even more miserable. Remus had helped Sirius . . . by doing nothing to stop him . . .
"Snape? What's Snape got to do with it?"
Remus barely noticed that he suddenly had Sirius' full attention. Waves of guilt were trying to drown him, and when he thought about the prank they had played on him, he had gotten the feeling he was sinking.
"He's here, Sirius. He's teaching here as well." He looked up and around and met the eyes of Ron, Hermione and Harry. Talking and explaining himself seemed to help a bit against the drowning.
"Professor Snape was at school with us. He fought very hard against my appointment to the Defence Against the Dark Arts job. He has been telling Dumbledore all year that I am not to be trusted. He has his reasons . . ." Remus hesitated. Was he really going to tell his students about one of the pranks they had pulled? Especially one that could be considered a criminal offence?
". . . you see, Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me —"
He heard Sirius making a derisive noise, and knew in one moment that Sirius' disregard for rules and James' arrogance had made him feel less guilty in those days. Did that mean that they had been a bad influence on him?
"It served him right. Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to . . . hoping he could get us expelled . . ." Sirius said. Despite the massive amounts of guilt Remus was feeling, he still smiled a bit: Sirius had still the same sneer when he was talking about Snape . . .
"Severus was very interested in where we went every month. We were in the same year, you know, and we – er —" Pranked him? Pestered him? Hated him as much as he hated us? His mind was making up all sorts of endings to that sentence. ". . . didn't like each other very much. He especially disliked James. Jealous, I think, of James's talent on the Quidditch pitch . . ." But that wasn't really true. It seemed as if Snape had never been interested in flying . . . so was he jealous of James because all the fame? What else could he have wanted that James got in the end?
". . . anyway, Snape had seen me crossing the grounds with Madam Pomfrey one evening as she led me towards the Whomping Willow to transform. Sirius thought it would be – er – amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree-trunk with a long stick, and he'd be able to get in after me. Well, of course, Snape tried it – if he'd got as far as this house, he'd have met a fully grown werewolf – but your father," he was now looking at Harry, trying hard to sound not too accusing toward Sirius while telling this (after all, he was telling their whole history only to make Harry, Ron and Hermione understand that Sirius was innocent), "who'd heard what Sirius had done, went after Snape and pulled him back, at great risk to his life . . ." he had heard this all afterwards of course, but knowing that his condition was actually the cause of all that mayhem made him sad. "Snape glimpsed me, though, at the end of the tunnel. He was forbidden to tell anybody by Dumbledore, but from that time on he knew what I was . . ."
The floorboards behind him creaked again and Harry said, looking as though everything had suddenly become quite clear: "So that's why Snape doesn't like you, because he thought you were in on the joke?"
Before Lupin could answer the question, someone else did. Someone, who could only make their situation worse.
"That's right." The voice was cold and sneering and could only belong to one person.
When Lupin turned around, he was facing a wand two centimetres away from his nose, and Severus Snape, holding James' Invisibility Cloak.
Hermione screamed, Ron immediately sat up straighter, although his face got paler by the second, Harry jumped a bit and Sirius, who had still been sitting on the bed, leapt to his feet. Snape started to speak, and his wand lowered from Remus's nose towards his chest.
"I found this at the base of the Whomping Willow. Very useful, Potter, I thank you . . ." When no one said anything, he proceeded, in the same, maniacal tone: "You're wondering, perhaps, how I knew you were here? I've just been to your office, Lupin. You forgot to take your potion tonight, so I took a gobletful along. And very lucky I did . . . lucky for me, I mean. Lying on your desk was a certain map. One glance at it told me all I needed to know. I saw you running along this passageway and out of sight."
While Snape spoke, Remus already connected the dots . . . if Snape had seen him running through the passageway, he must've been here the whole time . . . But why would he act as if he didn't know the whole story? Surely he could understand it all? Or had he only heard the part where he told them about becoming a werewolf? In a split second he heard Ron say, in his head: This place is haunted . . . yes, it had been haunted by Snape . . .
"Severus —" he began, but Snape was already interrupting him, and although Remus wouldn't admit it, the glint in Snape's eye was really scaring him . . .
"I've told the Headmaster again and again that you've been helping your old friend Black into the castle, Lupin, and here's the proof. Not even I dreamed you would have the nerve to use this old place as your hideout —"
"Severus, you're making a mistake," Remus started. It was necessary that Snape understood. Hate from more than thirteen years ago couldn't become the reason that Sirius would be locked up again . . . or worse . . . "You haven't heard everything – I can explain – Sirius is not here to kill Harry —"
But was of no use. Snape was obviously not listening.
"Two more for Azkaban tonight. I shall be interested to see how Dumbledore takes this . . . he was quite convinced you were harmless, you know Lupin . . . a tame werewolf . . ."
But for once, insulting his condition didn't make Remus sad. It made him angry. Angry enough to reply. Softly, with a deadly tone in his voice, he said:
"You fool. Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back in Azkaban?"
There wouldn't even be time to jump away if he had wanted to. With a loud BANG, Snape's wand shot ropes, which tangled themselves around Remus's mouth, ankles and wrists. Remus knew that Snape had an extra meaning with this spell; it had been one of the many they had used on him back in their time at school.
With a roar, Sirius ran towards Snape, jumping over Remus who had fallen to the ground. Snape put him wand between Black his eyes and said in a low, deadly voice:
"Give me a reason. Give me a reason to do it and I swear I will."
Sirius stopped. Although Remus could only see Snape's face from his vantage point on the floor, he had a pretty clear idea how Sirius' looked.
There was a moment of silence. Remus tried to wriggle out of the ropes, while knowing that these ropes, produced by a spell, wouldn't let go at all.
"Professor Snape —" Hermione stopped. Snape was looking at her with such a glint in his eyes that she took a little step back. However, she finished her sentence. " – It – wouldn't hurt to hear what they've got to say, w-would it?" Remus found her very brave, but knew at the same time, just like the ropes he had produced, Snape wouldn't give in.
"Miss Granger, you are already facing suspension from this school. You, Potter and Weasley
are out of bounds, in the company of a convicted murderer and a werewolf. For once in your life, hold your tongue." It was a true art that Snape could hiss those last three words, when there wasn't an 's' in it. If Hermione heard the dangerous tone and decided to go against it, or if she had just been too stupid to realize that now was not the right moment to interrupt Snape, Remus would never know. The fact was that Hermione tried again.
"But if – there was a mistake —"
"KEEP QUIET YOU STUPID GIRL! DON'T TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Remus could hear Ron try (for the umpteenth time, it seemed) to stand up and come off the bed, but besides that, no one spoke. Remus could only see Snape's face. He didn't know if it was because of the light, or because he saw it from underneath, but it was all twisted and dark in places were faces were normally more light.
"Vengeance is very sweet. How I hoped I would be the one to catch you . . ."
"The joke's on you again, Severus. As long as this boy brings his rat to the castle, I'll come quietly . . ." Sirius said to Snape. But the glint in his eyes only seemed to get worse when he heard Sirius speak.
"Up to the castle?" he asked. "I don't think we need to go that far. All I have to do is call the Dementors once we get out of the Willow. They'll be very pleased to see you, Black . . . pleased enough to give you a little kiss, I daresay . . ."
Remus was panicking. If Sirius was soulless, no one but himself would know who the real betrayer was . . . Hermione might have her doubts right now, but he didn't hear her interrupt Snape anymore. Then they hadn't been convinced by his story . . .
"Come on, all of you." Snape clicked his fingers and Remus felt that he was being pulled up, leaving the end of the ropes in Snape's hands. "I'll drag the werewolf. Perhaps the Dementors will have a kiss for him, too —" Remus barely heard the insults and threats. He was facing Harry, who was walking towards the door. Was he that easily convinced by Snape to go?
But Harry didn't go through the door. Instead, he stood still before it, facing the rest of the room.
"Get out of the way, Potter, you're in enough trouble already. If I hadn't been here to save your skin —"
But Harry interrupted him. "Professsor Lupin could have killed me about a hundred times this year. I've been alone with him loads of times, having Defence lessons against the Dementors. If he was helping Black, why didn't he just finish me off then?"
Harry was thinking rationally; Snape was not, and there was no way he would appreciate Harry's doing so.
"Don't ask me to fathom the way a werewolf's mind works. Get out of the way, Potter."
But Harry didn't like this comment either. Before Remus knew it, Harry's face was torn and he started yelling again, this time at Snape instead of him.
"YOU'RE PATHETIC! JUST BECAUSE THEY MADE A FOOL OF YOU AT SCHOOL YOU WON'T EVEN LISTEN —"
"SILENCE! I WILL NOT BE SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT!" Snape yelled back. "Like father, like son, Potter! I have just saved your neck, you should be thanking me on bended knee! You would have been well served if he killed you! You'd have died like your father, too arrogant to believe you might be mistaken in Black —" While Remus's mind was racing to find a solution to this situation, he couldn't help but think that Harry would hate to hear this. And besides, Harry still didn't trust Black: he only had tried to prove in his previous speech at Snape that Remus was innocent.
"-now get out of the way, or I will make you." Snape said to Harry.
But Harry stood still.
"GET OUT OF THE WAY POTTER!"
Snape was walking towards Harry, with his wand in one hand and in the other the end of the ropes he held Remus with. But Remus didn't budge, despite the attempts of Snape to drag him forward. He also stood still.
This gave Harry time.
Time to pull out his wand, and he yelled: "Expelliarmus!"
Remus hadn't noticed that Hermione and Ron had also drawn their wands and shouted the spell. Snape was blasted into the air, and he collapsed into the wall, unconscious.
Remus lost his balance and fell on the floor again, this time facing the unconscious Snape. There was some blood dripping on the floor. It looked like it was coming from his head . . .
He heard that Sirius was saying something, but couldn't make out what, because at the same time, Hermione was rambling.
"We attacked a teacher . . . we attacked a teacher . . . oh, we are going to be in so much trouble —"
Remus heard someone coming towards him, cutting the ropes. When he turned around he saw Sirius' face. He had a bit of a laugh around his mouth.
When Remus stood up, he could hear him whisper: "He is so much like James, Remus."
'Remus nodded and looked at the trio, while rubbing his wrists.
"Thank you, Harry."
"I'm still not saying that I believe you," Harry said.
"Then it's time we offered you some proof," Sirius cut in. "You, boy – give me Peter. Now."
Remus rolled up his sleeves. Time to expose the rat . . .
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Okay, so if you now want to sent an angry review, telling me that I only copy and not write, please take notice of the fact that I completely agree with you. (concerning this chapter) However, I couldn't find another way to make it more my own, without changing the words that are written in POA... And I couldn't just skip this piece... it's important... hell, it's part of the end!
If you want to leave a review, please do so! You even don't have to say anything about the story, (you can if you would like to,) just chat with me! Did anyone took their WOMBATS?
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