A/N: Thanks for all the reviews you guys! You all rock, and I dove you lots. Sorry it's taken a while to get this up, but I'm sick at the moment, very dizzy and feeling awful, and quitting smoking, and a whole lot of other things, so I'm just popping in quickly to get this up, then I'm off again:D Enjoy.

Chapter Four – Vaughn

He was early arriving to work that morning, which wasn't too unusual these days… Work was the only thing that kept him going. After several failed relationships, in which he denied having any feelings whatsoever for Josie, Vaughn had returned to work at his father's company, in preparation for the day when he would take over Pearadyne Labs.

Nodding to his assistant as he walked past her in to his office, he took a sip of his coffee, and laid his brief case down on his desk. His assistant had quietly followed him in, to hand over the various pieces of paper in her hands; messages, schedule for the day, and other little things that needed looking at.

He sighed as he slipped in to his chair behind his desk, and held one hand out to her. She placed the papers in his outstretched hand, before turning around to head back to her desk.

"Thank you Becky," he called after her.

Vaughn had matured a lot since his mother had come back. His father's company had been in ruins, after all his failed attempts at getting her back; almost every penny had been spent, from Victor's accounts, from Pearadyne's accounts. And from Vaughn's own personal accounts. But working side by side… by side… with his mother and father, they'd managed to restore Pearadyne back to its former glory.

It didn't mean that Vaughn necessarily enjoyed working there though. If he was honest with himself, he'd rather have been back at college, hanging out with his friends and playing football again. But it was what both his parents wanted, and he was eager to please them. After all those years of wanting, he finally had his father's approval, and his mother back.

He idly flicked through the various messages that had been left for him, noting which ones were important, which one's weren't. Slowly worked his way through the day's schedule list; his day was always full.

He was interrupted by a light knock on the door, and Becky peering round.

Nodding to her, Vaughn put his pen down, and motioned for Becky to enter. She walked quickly up to his desk and placed a parcel on it.

"This just arrived for you, Mr. Pearson," she said before she turned and walked away, her heels clicking lightly on the marble floor.

As she closed the door behind her, Vaughn picked the parcel up and, using a pair of scissors, opened it. As the contents slid on to his desk, he stared curiously at the handwriting. It was as familiar to him as his own was.

'Why is Josie sending me this?' he wondered; he'd only spoken to her a couple of weeks beforehand, and she hadn't mentioned anything about sending him something.

The CD was placed in to the CD slot in his computer, and immediately the bass kicked in and the song started. Cringing at the noise level he quickly reached over and turned the sound down to a more comfortable level.

For a moment he just sat back and listened to the song, letting it flow over him. But peace turned to worry as he listened to the lyrics. Slitting the first letter open, he leaned forward and began to read.

'Vaughn'' it began simply. Her writing was a little unsteady, wobbly in places, hard to make out in others. Several of the words had been blotched due to tears, and it looked like the letter had been written over a period of several days. His heart began to pound rhythmically, loudly; his concern, and fear, etched on his face.

'Vaughn,

There's so much that needs to be said to you, and I don't think I have the capability to let you know… Maybe if you felt the same way, then you'd understand, I don't know. It's hard for me to say it, it's always been hard, and I've denied it to myself for so long. But I have to let you know now.

I love you.

I've always loved you, Vaughn. All through high school, I really liked you… But after 3 years of like, I knew it was love. How could I have those feelings for so long if it wasn't love? I've been in love with you for at least 5 years Vaughn, but I've never been able to say it. I treasured our friendship, and I didn't want to ruin it by saying those words to you, those words I knew you could never say back to me.

I do understand Vaughn; I know you don't love me the same way. Maybe at first you did, or maybe you just in competition with Lucas, I don't know. But I know you think of me as a sister now.

I think in a way, it makes it a little easier for me to say what I have to say next. That I'm dying Vaughn, that I've been dying for the last 5 and a half months. I was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, given six months to live. Those six months are almost up. I needed you to know how I felt before I died though, which is why I've sent you this letter.

At least knowing that you don't love me the same way I love you means that this won't be as hard on you as it would have otherwise been. That gives me some peace of mind about you. I know it's still going to be tough, but you won't hurt as much as you could have, had you loved me back.

I want to thank you for being there. We've had our hard times… We're both stubborn and unwilling to admit when we need help, when we're in the wrong. But we're both strong people Vaughn, even if you don't believe it sometimes. So yea, we've had difficult times, but there were some really good times in there too. And I want to thank you for those moments, for being my friend, for being a shoulder to lean on.

And I'm sorry that I never said any of this outloud to you, but I'm too much of a coward… There's no way I could have uttered these words and been able to look you in the face afterwards. So I apologize that you had to find out in a letter.

Just do one thing for me Vaughn… Live your life the way you want to. I know you're not happy where you are, and life is way too short to live it unhappy. So please, live your life and be happy, for me Vaughn.

You're a strong person, strong and brave… I've always loved that about you… You need to stand up to your father before it's too late, stand up for your happiness. I know this job makes you miserable at times, even though you've finally gained your father's approval. But Vaughn, if you stay there, you're going to be so unhappy, and I don't want that for you, I want you to be happy Vaughn.

With all the love in my heart, Josie.'

Vaughn laid the letter down on his desk and leaned back in his chair, stunned to the core. The three words he'd always wanted to hear from Josie had just been said… But now it was too late for him to able to do anything about it.

He'd never admitted it to Josie, he'd tried to deny it to himself, but he'd been in love with Josie for years. He'd always wanted to hold her, kiss her, but he'd been too afraid to say anything. Like Josie, he'd assumed that the only feelings she'd had for him were feelings of friendship, platonic feelings.

And so he'd never said anything, and pretended like his feelings about her didn't matter. He didn't want to ruin a great friendship and risk losing her altogether; it was just easier to remain silent.

Chewing his lip, he dropped his head in to his hands. "It's too late," he whispered. The letter was dated just two weeks ago… Her six months were up. "I'll never get the chance to say anything to her."

He looked up at the sound of his door creaking open. Becky was standing there, looking at him, concern written all over her face.

"Is everything alright, Mr. Pearson?"

Vaughn shook his head wearily. "No. It's not…" he sighed quietly. "Please hold all my calls; I don't want to talk to anyone. And please cancel all my meetings. Oh, and let my father know that I won't be meeting him for lunch after all."

She nodded and backed out of the room. As soon as she was gone, Vaughn loosened his tie, and rummaged around in his bottom drawer. He pulled out a small bottle of scotch, and opened it up. Inhaling slightly, he stood and grabbed a glass off of a small tray sitting on top of a side desk.

He poured himself a generous serving of the drink, and tipped it in to his mouth, emptying the glass in one mouthful. Although the clock on his desk read 9:02am, he decided he deserved to have a few drinks; after all, the woman he loved had just died.

Sitting back down, he filled the glass again, and placed it on the desk. There was still one unopened envelope, and delaying opening it was only going to be harder in the long run.

He pulled out a card, Josie's smiling face looking up at him on the outside of it. His heart skipped a beat as he gazed at her. Running one finger down the side of her face, he choked back a sob. He couldn't fathom how someone so beautiful could be alive, breathing, walking around, laughing, one minute, and be gone the next. Gone, dead, no longer breathing, or walking around, or laughing… Just gone.

Numb, he just sat for a while, feeling like someone had taken a knife to his heart, cut it out of his body, and stamped it into the ground. He felt somewhat lifeless himself, like a part of himself had just died.

Gulping down his second glass of scotch, he picked up the framed photo that always sat on his desk. He looked down at the five smiling people who were smiling up at him, their arms around each other. The memory of that day filtered back to him. An ordinary Saturday afternoon at Black Hole High, they'd had a picnic outside with Z, who had snapped the picture on Corrine's camera. She'd had it reprinted for all of them, so all of them could have a picture to remind them of that happy time.

It had been the last time at Black Hole High that they'd all been happy together, because less than a week later, Josie had disappeared in to the alternate timeline for a year. And when she'd come back there'd been so many issues to work through, so much explaining to do. Then came university, and they hadn't all been at the same one.

He polished off a third glass of scotch, and wiped the tears away that had fallen. He scratched the back of his neck absentmindedly and let the memories take him over.

A light rapping at the door pulled him back out of his musings. "Come in," he called, his voice gruff, slightly hoarse.

Becky popped her head around the door for a third time that morning. "Um, Mr. Pearson… I know you said you didn't want to be disturbed, but a Mr." she glanced down at the piece of paper in her hand, "Noel Zachary, has called for you three times this morning. He's insisting on talking to you."

Vaughn sighed, and rubbed his face with his hands. "Is he still on the phone?"

"Yes Mr. Pearson."

"Okay, patch him through."

She nodded and ducked back out. Moments later a light started to blink on and off on his phone. Hesitantly Vaughn reached for the phone. He wasn't sure if he wanted to take the phone call, knowing that Z would only confirm what had happened to Josie, which would extinguish any hope that he had that someone was just playing a cruel joke on him.

Finally he picked it up. "Vaughn Pearson."

"Vaughn," Z's voice came over the phone softly. "Um… How are you?"

"I take it you've heard then," Vaughn replied, his tone just as soft.

"Yea… Everyone knows… Vaughn, how are you doing?" Z repeated.

"Oh you know…" Vaughn dithered. He'd never been able to reveal his feelings easily. Something he'd learnt from his father, stay strong, be tough… Never show weakness. Showing the world your feelings was a sign of weakness. "Busy with work…"

He could hear Z's tired sigh on the other end. "I meant about…"

"I know what you meant Z…" Vaughn cut him off. "I'm fine. Dealing with it. At least the best way I know how," he continued with a slight smirk. "What about you?"

"I'm in shock to be honest with you Vaughn. I had no idea things were so bad with her… She was sick the last time I saw her, but she told me it was the flu. When was the last time you saw her?"

Vaughn thought back for a moment. 'About four or five months ago I guess," he finally replied. "But I only spoke to her a couple weeks ago… She seemed fine then. At least nothing to suggest that she was… you know… dying." He dropped his head into the palm of his free hand, and shook it, trying to deny everything he knew was true.

He waited for Z to reply, but there was just silence on the other end, as if Z was lost in thought.

"This is really happening, isn't it?" he finally asked hesitantly, his voice so quiet that Z had to strain to hear him.

"Yes, Vaughn. It's really happening."

In 13 hours they'll be laying flowers on my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I need your blessing and your promise to live free
Please do it for me

I'm not alone, I sense it, I sense it
All that I said, I meant it, I meant it