A/N: Well, I am so sorry that I didn't get this up earlier, I've been wayy busy. Plus I had some major troubles with this chapter. I'm not too happy with it, but it just won't allow me to change anything. So hopefully you guys like it. It may be a while before I get chapter 6 up, because I'm really struggling with it, but I will get there, I promise. Enjoy guys.
And thanks for all the wonderful feedback I've been getting! (((hug)))
Chapter Five – The Funeral
The day dawned bright, the sun shone down heavily, no clouds in the sky. It didn't seem right, like the sun was mocking them as they all prepared themselves for a day of immense sadness. It should have been a cloudy day, a damp day, to match their feelings. Instead the sunlight danced around the lawns of the graveyard, the trees rustled slightly in the small breeze, and the birds chirped happily.
At eleven in the morning, cars started arriving at the small church, everyone trying to mask their pain, but failing miserably.
Z was the first one to arrive, stepping out of his car in a crisp dark suit. He was dreading the day ahead, butterflies swarming his stomach. He'd been unable to eat that morning, unable to run. Unable to do anything other than sit and contemplate the day ahead.
He'd spoken to Kelly the same day he'd found out about Josie's death… Even though it was going to be hard, Z was determined to carry through with Josie's wishes, and decided to start looking out for Kelly straight away. He'd almost regretted it when Kelly had asked him to be one of Josie's pallbearers, but knew that it was right for him to be there, to take Josie on her final journey.
Shading his eyes from the relentless sun, Z looked up at the church steps before him. A lithe figure stood before him, her dark skirt fluttering around her ankles in the small breath of fresh air. Kelly was playing with a ring on her gaunt finger, every small bone and vein showing in her hands.
The nervousness that he felt intensified. This had to be one of the worst days of his life. Even going through the wormhole had to be better than what lay ahead of him. Taking a step forward, he felt courage begin to surge through him, and knew that he'd be able to get up the steps and talk to Kelly.
"Kelly," he whispered.
She turned to him, and looked up in to his eyes, hers brimming with tears. She gave him a small watery smile, before the tears fell.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
Z shook his head… "Don't be." He pulled her into his arms, and just held on tightly. She clung to him, a lost woman drowning in a sea of tears, clinging to the only salvation in sight. Another car pulling up made her pull away and hastily wipe her tears away. He knew she felt she had to be strong, even though it was her only child that they were burying that day.
The car stopped just behind Z's and two doors opened. Marshall and Corrine stepped out in to the bright sun, and hurried up the stairs to greet Z and Kelly. Corrine went straight to Josie's mum and hugged her tightly, while Marshall shook hands with Z, before giving each other a quick, manly hug.
After whispering a few words in Kelly's ear, Corrine turned to Z with a small smile. She quickly hugged him, and he held her tight for a few moments, before they both pulled away. Marshall immediately took Corrine's hand and lightly stroked it with his thumb.
Another car pulled up as they all searched for words, something to say to ease the uncomfortable tension that hung around them all. Corrine fidgeted with the hem on her shirt, casting glances at everyone standing around her.
Two more cars drove in behind the third car that had arrived, and people began to pile out them, making their way up the stairs to offer their condolences to Kelly. Marshall spotted a familiar face in amongst the small crowd, and a moment later Lucas and Mary were joining their small group.
Exchanging quiet greetings, Lucas sighed heavily. Mary smiled slightly at him, and held his hand tightly in hers. She squeezed it, trying to pass on some of her strength so he could face what was about to happen.
Looking at his watch, Z motioned to the group. "It's time to go in guys."
"What about Vaughn?" Corrine asked quietly. "I thought you said he'd be here."
Z nodded. "He will be Corrine," he replied with confidence, patting her on the back.
Turning, each one faced their own personal hell. There at the end of the aisle, on a stand, was Josie's coffin. Flowers decorated the top, while off to the sides stood two easels. One had a large photo of Josie, smiling happily at them all, while the other had a large black sheet with many different photo's placed on it. Josie as a baby, learning to walk, with various school friends throughout the years, including the science club and Z, and friends she'd gone to University with. Even one of her sitting up in a hospital bed, probably one of the last photos ever taken of her.
They made their way down to the front, behind Kelly, barely noticing anyone else. And there in the front row sat Vaughn.
He'd arrived half an hour before Z had, hoping to spend some time alone with Josie before everyone else arrived. It had been his time to reflect and cry, in private. He didn't want anyone to see him crying, not Vaughn, the big College Football Hero.
Looking up, he smiled faintly at the rest of the group, as they slipped in beside him. Corrine turned to him and gave him a small hug, before grabbing a hold of his and clutching it tightly. On the other side of her, Marshall held her other hand.
Silence fell as the Minister stood and walked to the podium beside Josie's coffin.
"Family and friends," he began. "We are gathered here to celebrate the life of Josie Trent, daughter and friend." He paused and coughed slightly, before glancing at Kelly. "Josie was… An amazing person. I didn't know her as well as everyone here did, I only met her in the hospital, but within those frequent visits I feel I got to know her as well as anyone could.
She had an amazing strength, one that stood her in good stead during the trials she faced this past six months. Josie was vibrant, filled with life and joy for the world around her. Even facing her own death, cooped up in a hospital room, sick… she found the time to make the other patients smile. I watched her closely during this time, and found that she had an amazing peace about what was happening to her.
Despite her illness, she wasn't angry where most people would have cause to be. She found happiness in the simple things, continued to keep her sense of humor, and often had the other occupants of her room in stitches. If we have anything to learn from her, it's to remember to live life and find joy in the simple things.
Now I want to take this opportunity to invite you up here. If you have anything you need to say to Josie, or any stories you wish to share, please feel free to come up and speak your piece."
He stepped down and sat down next to Kelly. He whispered something to her, and she smiled gratefully and squeezed his hand.
The soft strands of Sarah McLachlin's Arms of the Angel came over the loud speaker, causing Corrine, among others, to break down in tears. Marshall pulled her into his arms and held her tightly against his chest. She sniffled slightly, before pulling away and brushing her tears away.
'You're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here'
Out of the corner of his eye, Vaughn saw two people move towards the podium. A pale faced girl was being held tightly by the arm by a strong looking guy. She was bald, and the look of one who had been through Chemotherapy. The girl stepped up and looked around the crowd, meeting his eyes for a fraction of a second before looking away.
"Hi," she said simply, her voice slightly hoarse. "I'm Tracy. I knew Josie from the hospital… We were roommates. In the short time that I knew her, Josie changed my life. Before she came all I did was wallow in self pity, wondering why God had picked me to have an awful life changing illness. But then in came Josie, and with her laughter and love for life, she changed me.
I'm no longer angry about dying, because Josie taught me to value the things I still have. Like friends, and family. To love as much as you can while you still can, and to live out your days making people happy. That's Josie's legacy."
She turned to face the coffin. "Thank you Josie. I'll always remember what you taught me. Thank you."
The pair stepped down and walked back down the aisle slowly, before taking their seats a few rows back. Another person stepped up to the podium behind them and started to talk.
"I knew Josie from University. From the get go I wanted to be her friend. She was so vibrant, so alive; she just made everyone around her want to experience it with her. Josie was always taking us on crazy adventures, whether it was ditching class to take a road trip and go surfing, or playing pranks on some of our favorite professors."
The guy grinned in recollection before continuing. "There was this one time, we pranked one of our science professors, and I swore we were going to kicked out of the University. Josie somehow mixed up this concoction which turned everyone in the class green, and said that it was a science experiment gone wrong. Of course when we washed the stuff off, our Professor wasn't exactly too impressed. But Josie knew how to get around him, and by the end of the day even the Professor was laughing at how we pranked him.
But that was Josie for you… Getting in to trouble, and then somehow twisting whatever authority figure it was around her finger with a cheeky grin and getting out of it again." He smiled once more before leaving the podium.
Corrine sighed deeply, before patting Marshall's hand. She stood and smoothed out her black skirt, before she took the first step towards the podium. The podium looked so far away, and she wondered whether she'd be able to make it there. She looked down as Lucas grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Corrine gave him a soft smile before she continued on up.
She spread her notes out on the podium, trying to find the words to start.
"Josie… Was a good friend to me. We went to school together when we were younger. When I first met her, the complete opposite of me, I wondered whether we could ever be friends. She was messy, slightly wild, had no regards for rules, impetuous… Everything I was not. And yet we still managed to forge a friendship. I admired her for being all those things, even if it did, on many occasions, get us in to trouble."
She paused, searching for what to say next. Corrine looked down at her friends, her friends who were encouraging her to go on. Nodding slightly, she looked back out at the various groups gathered in front of her.
"You all know what Josie was like, the way she could somehow force you to do something you didn't really want to do, but after you'd done it, you were actually happy you had done it. She was a driving force, on occasion a hurricane. And you couldn't escape it. And she was a good friend, always there when you needed her, very rarely asking for anything in return.
And she's going to be missed."
Corrine stepped down, unable to say anything more. She stood beside Josie's coffin for a moment, lightly touched it with her fingers. "I love you," she whispered, before heading back to sit next to her husband.
As Corrine moved back to her seat, the Minister stood back up, and started to speak again.
"All of you have various memories of who Josie was… Keep those memories, and cherish them. She would not have wanted you to be sad during this time. She was a person who was full of life, and would want you all to be the same. Now let's bow our heads and pray."
After a few minutes of silent prayer, another song came over the loud speaker. Metallica, Nothing Else Matters. Lucas smiled to himself, typical Josie with her rock songs.
'Life is ours we live it our way, all these words I don't just say… And nothing else matters.'
"Before we leave, Kelly has a few words she'd like to say."
Kelly stood with a small sigh that only Z heard, and faced the room.
"I just want to say thank you to everyone for coming today. It's exactly how Josie would have wanted it. Before she died, we discussed what was going to happen for today, and it's almost exactly how she envisioned it. So thank you. And thank you all for being a part of my daughters' life."
She sat back down again, tears coursing down her cheeks. She bit her lip to keep back the small sob that was welling up inside of her.
"After a small private ceremony at which you are welcome to attend, there will be refreshments back at Kelly's house," the minister said, before turning away.
Lucas, Vaughn, Z and Marshall exchanged glances before standing. Slowly they made their way to the coffin and each grabbed a handle. Without saying a word, they hoisted the coffin off its stand, and made their way down the aisle with it. Out of the church, down the steps and into the hearse, each man lost in silence as their thoughts overtook them.
Everyone followed Kelly down the aisle, who was slowly following the last journey of her daughter, tears falling down her face. Corrine walked next to her, gripping her hand. Mary was right behind them.
The group stood around behind the hearse as the door was shut. Slowly everyone filtered out of the church, saying their goodbyes as they walked past to their cars. And within ten minutes they were the only people left.
Still in silence, they made their way to their individual cars and followed the hearse out to the cemetery where Josie was to be buried.
At the cemetery, the coffin was lowered on to a frame that stood above the plot where she was to be buried. They gathered around the coffin, each still lost in their own thoughts. Only a small group had decided to attend, mainly Kelly and their own private group, with just a couple of other people who had been close to Josie while she'd been at University.
Prayers were said, Corrine sung Amazing Grace, and everyone said their final goodbye, with a small handful of dirt. "Dust to dust, ashes to ashes," the minister intoned over the coffin. And with a slight creek, it was slowly lowered in to the ground.
Each one chucked a small red rose on top as the coffin made its descent.
Vaughn turned away with tears in his eyes. He couldn't bear the sight of the coffin being lowered, the thought of Josie being lowered in to a deep dark hole in the earth, never to see the light again. "Goodbye, Josie," he whispered.
Small whimpers emitted from Kelly, and Z pulled her back in to his arms, letting her cling to him. Although he was struggling to fight back tears himself, he knew that Kelly needed someone to be strong for her, and since she was burying the only family she had left, he knew it had to be him.
"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see."
As Corrine's voice died away, she turned to Marshall, and they held each other, neither one hiding their tears. Instead they leaned on each other, allowing the tears to flow freely, and rocked back and forth slightly, trying to ease each other's pain.
Although Mary was affected by the service, she hadn't known Josie very well, and so she was able to hold Lucas as he cried. He clung tightly to her, unable to bear the pain that was pulling him down.
As the sun began its descent, the birds stopped chirping, and the sky began to cloud over. A slight rumble off in the distance warned of thunder, and the air grew still. And each one of the mourners turned away from the plot and began to leave. The cars each left the cemetery one by one, except for two cars.
Kelly had stayed behind to have a few more moments with her daughter, and Z had stayed to keep an eye on her. She turned away and began to walk to the car, looking back over her shoulder. As she reached the car, she looked back one last time.
The sight of the hole in the ground, and the workers beginning to lay the dirt on top was too much for her, and she fell to her knees, crying. Z came up behind her and knelt down to hold her once again.
"I can't leave," she whispered hoarsely. "I can't leave my daughter behind. What if she gets cold? What if she gets lonely? I can't just walk away from here and leave her."
Z breathed in deeply, unable to answer her questions. "I know," he whispered in her ear. "But Josie wouldn't want you to sit here and waste away. She'd want you to get up and continue moving forward. You know she would."
Kelly nodded slightly, and leaned against Z, before struggling to her feet. He helped her stand, and lead her to the passenger side of her car. Taking her keys, he unlocked the door, helped her in, and then hopped in the drivers' seat.
"What about your car?" she asked, looking at him.
He shook his head. "I can pick it up later. Let's get you home."
As they drove out of the cemetery, Kelly leaned her head against the window, and looked back at her daughters' grave until it was out of sight.
And I can't believe how much I've wasted my time
In just 8 hours they'll be laying flowers on my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I need your blessing and your promise to live free
Please do it for me