Title: "Fell in Love with a Girl"

Author: Lila

Rating: PG-13

Character/Pairing: Sam, Dean/OFC

Spoiler: Teeny, tiny references to "Devil's Trap" and "Everybody Loves a Clown"

Length: Part IV: B of IV

Summary: When Dean falls in love, Sam gets a life.

Disclaimer: I own only Lily. If you'd like to borrow her, let me know and we'll negotiate.

Author's Note: I haven't decided yet, but there will most likely be an epilogue to accompany this story because there are few things I didn't get to touch on in this chapter. If not, thank you for taking this journey with me and Lily and the boys. This is the first multi-part story I've actually been able to finish, so while it's been a labor of love to find the time to complete it, it's been so rewarding to know I can write multi-part stories when I want to! I hope you enjoy.

---

"All love is fleeting…"

Three weeks in and Lily is finally starting to make some progress and get on the road to going home. She isn't whole, but she's healing, and the doctors have assured Dean every day that she'll make a full recovery. He won't hear the specifics, so you do, and listen while the doctor tells you about the nicked kidney and the slashed uterus and all the repair work he did to ensure her ability to have children. You don't tell Dean, just give him the prognosis, and he doesn't really respond, just grunts a little and mumbles a thank you while watching Lily from the doorway of her room instead of hovering by her bed. He doesn't protest when you insist he go home and sleep for a few hours, and Mimi makes you go too. You know something's wrong, but when he makes you drive while staring out the window and refusing to say a word, you know something's really wrong. You try and talk to him about it, but he rebuffs your attempts and insists he's beat and going to bed, and even makes a show of pulling back the comforter. You're too tired and worn out to argue so instead you strip off your clothes and step into the shower to wash the smell of hospitals and death off your skin.

When you emerge from the bathroom Dean is throwing his clothes in a duffle like a crazy person, and if he hears you calling to him he doesn't acknowledge it. For a moment you're afraid he'll look you dead in the eye and his will be flaming and golden in the dim motel light, but when does meet your eyes they're his usual pale green, only this time they're glazed with guilt. You're not going to argue with him while dripping all over the floor, and you're freezing cold and starting to shiver, but when you reach for your clothes you find they're packed and ready to go. Dean's serious about this crazy plan, and he isn't leaving any room for error. "Dean, what are you doing?" you ask even though you already know the answer. You just need to hear him say it.

"Give me a minute and we'll be ready to go," is his response, and he entirely ignores the obvious question.

You stride angrily to the door and rip open your bag, tugging out clothes and not caring if they match or not, because you need to be dressed when you knock some sense into him. "You're leaving Lily?"

He looks at you like you've lost your mind. "Yeah, Sam. What part of leaving don't you understand?"

You grit your teeth, flex your fingers against your thigh because if you don't you're afraid you're going to sink your fist right into his jaw. "I don't know…the part where you're abandoning your girlfriend after she almost died saving us." You emphasize the last word, so he knows how wrong he is.

Finally, a real reaction from him. He's slung his bag over one shoulder and his fingers are closing around the doorknob, but he gulps audibly and the bag drops to the ground with an angry thump. "Almost, Sammy," he whispers. "I can't let next time be for real."

You press the heel of your hand against the door and softly close it, keeping him in, making him work through this. "Dean, you can't leave her. You know that. She found us once, she'll find us again." You think of the glory car website she used to track down the Impala in June. "It wasn't even hard to find us the first time. She's not going to give up so easily."

"It's for her own good," he insists, even if he doesn't really sound like he believes it. "I'd rather her gone and alive than here and dying."

You sigh, because you feel like a hypocrite because you said the exact same thing to Sarah and Dean let you leave, but you have to do this because you know he'll never forgive himself for leaving Lily, the way you couldn't forgive yourself for leaving Jess. "If you leave, she'll follow us. What's better, being scared or having her vulnerable and alone and searching for you?" He doesn't say anything, but his knuckles are white around the doorknob. "I left Jess once," you say and your voice breaks on the truth. "I left her Dean, and she died. It doesn't matter that I went back, that I planned to stay with her forever. I left her and I didn't tell her the truth and she died." You close your eyes against the tears and Dean's hand clamps awkwardly around your shoulder. "Do you hear what I'm saying? Lily lived, Dean. That's all that matters. It's the only thing that matters."

It takes a long moment before you're sure your words sink in. "Okay," he whispers and his fingers rattle against your collarbone. "Okay."

You tangle your fingers through his, feel the weight of his chest against your shoulder. "You need to do this for her, Dean, not for me. You need to want this."

He pauses, and when he looks up to meet your eyes the guilt is disappearing. "I want this," he says and it hangs there between you, that he wants this more than he wants anything else, more than finding your father, more than killing the demon. You want to be angry, because that thing killed your mom and killed Jess and ruined your life two times over, but you can't be mad, not really, not when you know you'd do the same thing for the right woman and the right relationship and a real shot at happiness. You can't fault Dean because everything he wants – you want it too.

---

If she knows about Dean's attempt to cut and run she never says anything, and Mimi moves into the motel room and sleeps in a cot at the foot of your bed and the nightmares are better with her there to watch over your dreams, but they don't entirely leave you alone. You still hear Jess' screams and you still feel Lily's blood, but the voices stop. It's getting better. Not gone, but better, and even though you still wake up shaking and gasping you can get through it because Mimi is always there, running a hand through your hair and pressing a gentle kiss to your brow and telling you that it will be alright. You believe her. For the first time since Jess burned herself into your skin with her blood, you really think it will be okay, that everything will be okay.

On the second day of the third week you're taking a coffee break with Mimi outside Lily's room when your father strolls down the hallway, looking weary and tired and mostly very, very pissed. You can tell by the grim set of his shoulders and the flash of annoyance in his dark eyes. He smiles, just the tiniest curve of his lips, at the sight of you, and all the bitterness and resentment slips away and you stop caring about everything that's gone down between you because he's whole and alive and Lily is so close to broken.

He gives you a brief hug and ruffles your hair and tells you he's glad to see you, and for a moment he's no longer John Winchester and he's just your father. You could get used to it. You forget Mimi is standing beside you until she clears her throat and your father pulls away from you and looks her up and down and the annoyance in his eyes is replaced with surprise.

"Hi, Johnny," she says and there's a teasing note in her voice, humor in her eyes, and she's looking at your father in ways you've never seen a woman look at him before. "Been a long time."

"Mimi," he says evenly, but he's got that look in his eyes too, and you look at the floor because it's getting to weird watching them watch each other. "How've you been?"

She cocks her head towards Lily's room. "I'm better, now that Lily's healing. She almost died, you know. Your boys saved her."

"So I heard," your father says and you almost don't recognize his voice without the disapproving tone he inflicts on Dean and you. They stare at each other again, eyes locking, and you decided to interrupt, because you can't take the weirdness anymore. "You two know each other?" you ask and they break eye contact, a knowing smile curving Mimi's mouth.

Your father clears his throat, looks at you. "We knew each other a long time ago. Mimi is a jewelry dealer," he explains. "That charm Dean always wears? I got it from her."

"The protection charm?" you ask. "It's from you?"

Mimi shakes her head and her smile widens, takes on that maternal air you've come to appreciate over the last few weeks. You feel safer when she's smiling at you, the same way you feel around her daughter. "Actually," she clarifies. "It's from Lily."

"Lily? You said she didn't know anything about your old life."

"She doesn't," Mimi says and her eyes flicker over your father who's listening intently to her story, not interrupting for once, not pushing how it relates to him and his quest. "Your father asked for that thing, what fifteen years ago, maybe more? It was for Dean's tenth birthday, right?" Your father nods, and she continues. "Sometimes I let Lily help me at work. I told her the order, she picked out the charm."

"A protection charm," you mumble under your breath, noting the irony of the situation, because Lily chose it and she's the one in the hospital bed while Dean's walking free.

"A protection charm," Mimi confirms. "She's been keeping him safe her entire life." She smiles at you, catches your train of thought. "It's not magic, Sam, but sometimes destiny has a way of working itself out."

You hate that word, destiny, and the references to fate that come along with it, because a year ago you had your life all planned out and you were gonna go to law school and bring home the bacon while Jess slaved it out as a social worker in the projects and wore herself ragged while you worked long hours, but then you'd come home and she'd be waiting for you with a smile and you'd have each other and a family and be happy. Until destiny kicked you in the ass and took all your dreams away in a burst of flames because Jess is dead and law school is off the table and you still haven't graduated college.

You close your eyes and an image of Lily bleeding and dying swims before your eyes but you ignore it, because it isn't real, it's not your destiny, and Jess is still dead and law school and Stanford are silly pipe dreams, but you have your brother and Lily and you're not sure there's anything else you really need. You have them and you have a future and you have your life. You think of Jess and what might have been – you have a lot more than most people.

Loud voices filter through the half-open door to Lily's room, and when you poke your head inside your father is in full-on lecture mode and most of his tirade is directed at Dean while Lily and Mimi watch steely-eyed from the bed.

"Three weeks you've been here, Dean, and that thing is just out there hurting more people. And you call yourself a hunter."

You hate this. You hate this, especially the way your brother seems to sink inside himself and his shoulders hunch and his voice drops to barely above a whisper and puts up a futile effort to defend himself against the father he's never been able to stand up to. "We almost got him, Dad. Okay? We have the Colt, and next time I lay eyes on that sonofabitch it'll be for real." He gives a brisk nod to show his resolve, but he can't meet your father's eyes.

"Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, Dean. You let that thing get away. If you'd just shot him when you'd had the chance, this whole thing would be over."

Dean isn't responding, so you step in and do it for him, because you love your father but this has to stop. "It's not his fault, Dad," you insist. "We didn't want Lily ending up dead too." Across the room Lily winces and you probably just made things a whole lot worse, but you won't let your father win this one. He was the one who ran and you and Dean were the ones who stuck around and fought it out. He doesn't get to criticize your decisions, not after all that's happened. "We made a choice. As soon as Lily's back on her feet, we'll go after that thing again."

Your father's eyes flicker over Lily and Mimi shoots him a warning glare and makes it clear that whatever history they had in the past, she'll throw it aside in a moment to protect her daughter. He laughs without humor. "So this is what it comes down to. Twenty-two years we've wanted nothing more than that thing dead, and you choose her."

"This wasn't about choosing one over the other, Dad. It was about doing the right thing. Lily might have died, and that came first. We've been hunting that demon for our entire lives, and it's killed people we love along the way." You look at your brother, and the determined set is back in his shoulders, and he's staring straight at your father. "We weren't ready to let it take someone else."

There's no emotion in his voice, and he's still staring right at Dean. "And you let it get away."

"Are you even listening?" you yell and he doesn't even flinch, doesn't look away from your brother. "Are you really so selfish that you don't even care that someone almost died trying to help us? It's always the same with you, always about that demon. Well guess what, Dad? The demon, it matters. We want to waste it, all of us." You catch your brother's eye and he nods, tells you with signals that he has your back for this one. "But it's not worth dying over. It's not worth anyone dying over." He doesn't say anything, doesn't acknowledge anything you've told him, so you throw your hands up and turn away. "You don't even care. All our lives, it's been all about you and having some stupid macho showdown that will get you killed!"

The accusation hangs in the air and it takes him a long time to answer. "No, Sam. I want to stop losing people we love." He sighs, rubs a hand over his eyes, and for a moment looks like the tired old man he is and nothing like the invincible hunter you've always known him as, like he's collapsing inside himself. "I want you to go to school. I want Dean to have a home. I want Mary alive…" He turns away and Mimi moves away from Lily to lay her hand on his in a way that makes you wonder if Lily's father really died in a car accident, if her life wasn't ruined by thing that destroyed yours. "I just…I just want this to be over." He turns the gun in his hands, and when he lays it on the table you think you see burn marks in his palms, an ugly imprint of death and defeat burned into his skin.

"So what are we supposed to do?" Dean asks and looks away from Lily long enough to confront your father. "We're supposed to let you walk out of here with the only thing we know can kill that thing and hope you follow through? We're stronger together than apart, you know we are. Let us come with you, Dad. We need to do this together."

Your father's eyes drift over Dean and look you up and own before landing on Lily, the source of all the disagreement. You can practically hear the wheels turning in his head, a renewed lecture on his tongue about not forming attachments, about not letting outsiders get in the way, about Winchester loyalty first, last, and always. He glances back at Dean, and your brother's fists are clenched and his jaw is locked and you're not sure what he's ready to fight, your father for ducking out on his sons again or for looking at Lily with such distaste. "You're not going to leave her," he finally says. "And we can't take her with us. I'll go, take the Colt, finish this once and for all." His eyes flicker over Lily one last time. "You stay here and keep your girlfriend safe." There's no mistaking the revulsion in his tone.

You're not sure what's causing this behavior, because a moment ago it seemed like you were making headway in getting through to your father, and how he's staring at Lily like she's the antichrist come to life. Across the room Mimi's normally laughing mouth tightens into a frown, and she's starts to pull herself out of her chair but Lily is the one who gets there first. She throws aside the blankets and her bare legs are still deathly pale as she takes a rickety first step and winces at the cold tiles underneath her bare feet. She grips the edge of the bed for support and Dean makes a move to help her, but she shakes him off and forces herself upright to glare at your father. "Don't speak to them like that," she says and her voice is too dark and too bitter for a girl who's finally on the road back to life. "Don't you ever speak to them like that," she continues and your father looks surprised at the venom in her voice, but doesn't make a move to back down. "They almost died trying to kill that thing." Her fingers grip the hem of her hospital gown and Dean sucks in a breath and yours freezes in your throat when she pulls the thin cloth to her breasts and tugs off the bandages, revealing an ugly red line marring the pale smoothness of her skin. "I almost died trying to kill that thing. Don't you ever talk to us like we don't matter, like we don't understand." She stands up to her full height and looks your father dead in the eye. "This isn't just about you. It never was."

The gown slips down her belly and she hasn't torn her stitches but a few drops of blood still stain the fragile cloth of her gown and your father's eyes lock on her stomach and drift up her torso, landing on her face. There's a mixture of pain and hate and mostly regret etched into his craggy features and his eyes are burning bright with something you think could be jealousy. You glance at Lily and from your father's vantage point she's all curly hair falling long and shimmering down her back and sparkling blue eyes, and the thin white fabric of her hospital gown billows around her thighs. For a moment you see what your father is seeing and your mother is standing in the afternoon sunlight. She's smiling at you in the way she's smiling in the pictures that are all you have left of her, and she looks so real you want to reach out and touch her, feel her the way you never could in the past. Except the moment ends and it's just Lily standing in the patch of light, and your father is still staring at her, not quite seeing her, seeing instead the lone woman who didn't die protecting Winchester men.

He stands there, doesn't say a thing, just drinks Lily in while she wobbles on her feet and Dean catches her just before she falls, and calls for a nurse to replace the bandages. He isn't smiling at her and you expect him to start lecturing her for talking back to your father, the way he always does with you, but instead he's smoothing her hair back from her forehead and looking at her like she's the most amazing thing he's ever seen. Because she is the most amazing person he's ever met, because she'll say the things he can't bring himself to say and makes him do the things he doesn't think he's capable of doing.

A memory flashes through your mind, shots and a naughty nurse costume and Jess at your back, believing in you when you were too afraid to believe in yourself.

"Seriously, I'm so proud of you and you're gonna knock'em dead on Monday and you're gonna get that full ride. I know it."

It hits you then, as Dean tucks Lily into bed and Mimi shoves your father into a chair and tells him that it will be alright, the way she always does for you, that this thing between Dean and Lily is for real. Totally, and completely for real, like it was with you and Jess. The forever kind of real.

"I'm sorry," your father whispers once the nurse leaves. He doesn't move any closer to Lily, but he does try and smile at her while she regards him warily. It's not much of an apology, but considering this is your father, it's a huge step. Mimi assured you that neither the amulet or the Darling women have magical powers, but you're tempted to argue this one down when your father opens up to Lily in ways he's never opened up to you or Dean at any point in your lives. "You remind me so much of Mary…I should have known better."

If she wasn't being held together by a thin web of stitching and skin, you think Lily would pop out of bed and insist on hugging it out, but as she's still recovering and not quite herself, she just nods and tells him it's okay. "It's been a long, bumpy road with you Winchester men," she says softly, and you expect her to buttress her comments with laughter, but there's something hesitant in her voice. "It hasn't been easy these last weeks, watching my life fly before my eyes and knowing it might have ended if not for your sons." She pauses and her fingers tighten around the sheets, and you realize that despite the brave face she's put up since the accident, she's still coping with the reality of what happened to her, that if Dean had been a second too late she would have bled to death and burned alive on a stranger's ceiling. "Life is hard, and I know no one knows it better than you Winchesters," and she finally laughs, a little harshly, but a laugh all the same. "But I've learned something since I jumped into this adventure, and that's when the going gets tough, families, they hold each other together. I'm not leaving, and you're not leaving, and it's not going to be easy but we're all going to work this out. Together."

She puts particular emphasis on the last word and your father seems to take it to heart, because under his breath he mumbles, "If there's no fear, where's the living?" You've heard it before, and you're wondering where he heard it from because across the room you can see Mimi's mouth forming the same words, but you don't really care because it seems to be getting everyone somewhere. "We have a lot of work to do, boys," your father says and behind him Lily looks pleased at the progress made.

You exchange a curious look with your brother, because talking about feelings isn't exactly a Winchester trademark and you can't remember the last time a conversation with your father didn't end in an argument, but Lily seems determined to iron out all the kinks in the Winchester family history, and if you know anything about her, it's that she'll fight to the death if something means enough to her, and she's not going to give up until this big mess you call a family is resolved.

---

In the end, you don't work it all out, but it leaves you with hope that someday you will. When Lily is ready to leave the hospital Dean gently places her in the Impala's backseat while Mimi and your father head out on their separate ways. Mimi insists she has a life to get back to in Maryland, and your father claims he's going to visit a friend in Wisconsin who can help track the demon. He takes the Colt with him and it makes you nervous, but he promises to contact your crew as soon as he finds a lead. You don't have much faith in his words, but need to believe so you tell yourself that this time will be different, and when it comes down to the final battle all the Winchesters will fight side by side.

Mimi kisses her daughter goodbye and climbs into your father's truck for her ride to the airport, and you prop yourself on the Impala's hood and watch them go, dust kicking up behind them. Lily walks over and she's still so pale she practically fades into the dying light, but her smile is bright and there's light in her eyes and when she lays her hand on yours her skin is warm and you can feel her pulse beating through the thin skin of her wrist. "It's gonna be okay, Sam. We're all going to be okay."

She props herself on the hood next to you and winces loudly at the pull of her bending muscles against her healing scar, but she doesn't complain, just pushes through like a good soldier. Her breath is hissing through her lips against the pain but she still won't say anything, just closes her eyes and waits it out, because she doesn't want to draw more attention to herself. You hate seeing her suffering – you hate seeing her in pain for a fight that's not hers. "Lily, what are you doing here?" you finally ask and her lashes flutter against her cheekbones because she's been waiting for this question.

"I'm watching the sunset with my favorite boy," she smiles, but keeps her eyes closed so she can't see the orange and purple rays falling over the planes of her face like a fading bruise.

"It's practically October, Lily. School's started and you're half dead in a parking lot in Iowa when you should be in the front of a classroom. What are you doing here?"

She opens her eyes and the last hints of day light them up like shooting stars. You're half tempted to make a wish, because you know that sometimes they do come true. You want honesty from her, the way she always demands it from you, and you lock your jaw in determination. "I'm here because there's no place else I belong. I know what you're going to say," she says you try to interrupt, to push her further. "I know I'm being a bad feminist and setting women's lib back about ten years, but this is where I want to be. You're right. I could go back to Maryland and teach history and meet a sweet local guy who'll treat me right. We'll get married and have babies and he'll fix up my house and we'll live out long, happy lives." She waits a beat, looks at you. "That's what you think I want, right?"

"Yeah," you say, because you don't know anyone who doesn't. You'd thought you'd even have it once too. Your pocket suddenly feels very heavy, the weight of a phantom ring you never had the chance to buy dragging it down. "Isn't it what everyone wants?"

"I do want that," she says softly. "It's all I've ever wanted, but I want it with conditions." A shy smile crosses her face and she lets out a jumpy, girly giggle. "I want all that with Dean." She looks at you and you can tell by her posture that she's unsure of how to proceed, but she bites her lip, her nervous habit, and presses forward. "Sam, when you met Jess, did you know?"

You look away and pretend you don't understand, because sometimes you're a hypocrite and despite the honesty you demand, you're not sure you can give it to her yourself. "What do you mean?"

Her tone is strict, and the words come out on a maternal sigh. "Sam, you know what I'm talking about. When you met her, did you know?"

You close your eyes and Jess is standing in front of you in the Stanford hoodie and baggy jeans she wore during that first study session. She later confessed how embarrassed she'd been to meet you in her grungiest clothes, because it had been finals week and she hadn't had time for laundry, and you'd leaned across the narrow width of your dorm bed and told her you hadn't cared because even in a burlap sack she'd have been the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen in your life. "I knew," you confess. "The moment I met her, I never wanted to meet anyone else."

"So you know," she says and she's turned from looking at you to where Dean's done filling out paperwork and is trudging across the parking lot to his future. "You know why I can't leave, why I can't go home. There was nothing special about the day you boys rolled into my life. I'd taught five classes, failed three students' tests – nothing special at all. Then there's a knock on my door and there are two boys I've never seen before standing in the doorway of my classroom, and one is taller but the other is tougher, and I look up from the papers I'm grading and I look right into his eyes and they're the saddest eyes I've ever seen. I knew, Sammy. I knew. I knew I could make that sadness go away. Do you understand, Sam? I can't go back to Maryland because it's not where I belong because it's not home. Wherever you and Dean are? That's where I need to be."

Dean comes up beside you and he's frowning because Lily is supposed to be in the backseat and she's propped on the hood with you instead. He doesn't ask what you're up to because he's used to these moments and he trusts you and he trusts her and he trusts the family you've all formed. He scoops Lily into his arms above her protests and opens the back door, but you stop him from depositing her back there because the spot beside your brother is no longer yours. "Dean, I think Lily should sit up front, with you."

Lily wriggles until Dean puts her down. "Sam, your place is up front. I like the backseat." She wiggles her toes. "I get to stretch my legs."

You choose to make a joke out of it. "Lily, I'm six and a half feet tall. Maybe I want the chance to stretch my legs."

She looks up at you, way up at you, because she's tall but she's got nothing on your height. "You don't have to do this," she insists. "Nothing has to change, Sam."

You smile and duck into the backseat before she can further protest. "It already has." She looks concerned but you shake your head to indicate that you're alright. "Things can't stay the same forever, Lily. It's okay. I'm ready for things to be different."

She still looks concerned when she and Dean climb into the frontseat and the car starts with a loud purr. Lily turns to you while Dean fiddles with the radio and steers the Impala out of the parking lot. "I wasn't just talking about Dean, Sammy," she says. "About the sadness in those beautiful green eyes – I was talking about you too."

"I know," you say, because you understand. You understand everything. You're never getting Jess back, and you think someday that will be okay. You're never going to have Stanford the same way again, but you can still go back to school and build the life she wanted for you. You think about what Lily said, the house and the kids and the dream life, and you know it's out there and it's yours for the taking and one day it will happen when the timing is right. You know that when you do find it, Jess will watch you from wherever she is and smile.

"Thank you," you say, and you know she doesn't know the half of it, but you hope she gets just a part of it and realizes how much she's changed your life.

"For what?"

"For saving us," you say and she rolls her eyes like you're crazy and turns to rest her head on Dean's shoulder, stretches one arm across his chest so her palm rests directly against his heart. He lets go of the gearshift long enough to rest his fingers over hers for a moment, and you know he's home too.

---

You're on the road a week before you hear from your father again and he still hasn't found the demon, but his friend Ash has set up some kind of elaborate system he's sure will eventually track the sonofabitch down. He doesn't invite you to come join him, but he did make the call, and it's a start. Lily's out of commission in terms of hunting, but insists on doing her part and keeps your income flowing while you and Dean do the dirty work.

You're at a bar and watching her flirt with two locals, slyly sliding a hand into each of their back pockets while they laugh and try and look down her shirt. Dean is watching, but he doesn't look upset or annoyed with her behavior and mumbles "that's my girl" between sips of beer.

"It doesn't bother you?" you ask as she pulls up the hem of her empire-waisted tank and slips a wallet into the waistband of her jeans. Your brother isn't a jealous man, but he's a possessive one, and you're shocked he can calmly sit there and watch two locals manhandle Lily.

"What?" Dean says and takes a long pull of beer as Lily sends a wink in your direction and wraps up the scam.

"That Lily's throwing herself at those guys?"

He looks away from Lily for a moment, and puts down the beer, and his eyes have never looked more clear, his voice sounded as sure. "She comes home with me every night. That's all I have to know."

Lily slides in between you and pulls up her shirt to slip the wallets out of her waistband. The ugly red slash of her scar is visible against her pale skin and Dean's hand tightens on his glass. She notices, because she sees everything, and presses a quick kiss to his temple and cups his jaw in her hand. "I'm fine, baby. I'm fine," she says and her voice is low, soothing, and Dean's grip eases.

She pushes the wallets across the table and strokes the back of Dean's hand with her free one. When she pulls away he's looking infinitely better, and you're relieved to have spending money again. Across the bar, one of the locals is angrily patting his back pocket and Lily's smile tightens. "Time to run, boys. I'll meet you in the car." You watch as she stealthily slips out the back, like she's been hunting things and running scams her entire life, like it's second nature to her, like it's where she belongs.

You nudge Dean as he slips the wallets into his jacket pocket and he pushes you towards the door. "Dean, marry that girl."

The night air is cold on your faces and across the parking lot Lily's propped on the Impala's hood, her red hair lighting up around her face and lighting your way. "Yeah," Dean says and his voice is barely there but you can tell from the look in his eyes that he means every word. "I think I will."

---

The night is still young so Lily insists on celebrating at another bar where the locals don't know her, and promises not to steal anything and get you run out of town. Instead, she buys the first round with her newfound dough and keeps asking Dean if he's okay because he's absently sipping his beer and watching her, just watching her, and not saying a word. She exchanges nervous glances with you and everyone is so edgy you can barely breathe because the air is so thick with tension. Dean picks up her left hand, runs his thumb over her ring finger, and takes a shaky breath. "I'm ready," he finally says and she pauses, her beer glass hanging loosely from her fingers, and grips the table because she looks like she's about to keel over.

"What?" she whispers and your eyes dart between them, because you've spent every day of the last four months with the both of them, and you have no idea what they're talking about.

"I'm ready," Dean repeats, and pries her fingers from the table's edge. He smiles in a way that lights up his entire face, and presses a kiss to the top of her hand. "I'm ready to rest my head."

Her free hand flies to her mouth and she presses the heel of it to her lips, eyes widening in her suddenly pale face. "You're sure?" she whispers again, and her voice is ragged and her eyes are blinking rapidly. "You're sure you're sure?"

Dean's smile only widens. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

She pulls her hand away from her mouth and she's smiling the same wide, brilliant smile as she practically vaults over the table and lands in his lap, ankles locking around his back. "Then I'm done waiting," she say and kisses him so hard you don't think either of them can breathe, but there's no pain in this kiss, no desperation. There's only love.

When they pull back they can't manage break apart entirely, and they don't seem to notice half the bar watching them, just remain locked together, foreheads resting against one another's. "I don't have a ring," Dean says and Lily just strokes his cheek and kisses him again, soft and light and tender.

"I don't care. We'll get one, when the time is right," she responds and you realize your brother actually went through with it, he asked her to marry him, and she said yes. You start to slip away, because crowded bar or not, they deserve a moment to themselves, but Lily's fingers lock around your wrist and she pulls away from your brother long enough to throw her arms around you. "I'm so honored to have you for a brother," she says and drops one arm to wrap it around Dean's shoulders. "I'm so honored to be a part of your family."

Dean is the one to respond, and his voice is raspy but his smile is goofy and broad and completely full of awe. "We're the ones honored to have you."

---

You sleep in the car that night and it's cold outside, but you don't mind because laying out on the hood you can see every star in the sky. You don't bother wishing on the shooting ones, because you've lived long enough and seen enough to know you don't need them for wishes to come true, but you watch them anyway and wonder if your mother and Jess are watching you from above.

Eventually Lily comes out, wrapped from head to toe in Dean's clothes, and drops a bag of Sour Patch Kids in your lap. "They're your favorite, right?" she asks and slips a room key in beside them. "You're not coming back with me, but you're not sleeping out here either." She looks up at the sky and sighs at their brightness. "Second star to the right and straight on till morning." You shoot her a confused look, but she just laughs. "Don't worry about it, Sam. It's too late for you anyway. You already grew up." She leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead. "Sweet dreams, Sammy," she whispers and pads back to the room, leaving you alone with the stars.

You look up to where she was pointing, and see the North Star shimmering in the distance, and you think of all the people it led to home. You glance back at the motel, where everything you love and everything you need is sleeping peacefully. You don't need to follow a star to find your way home. It's right here and waiting for you.

---

Writers live for feedback – please leave some if you have the time.