6:30
From: Ronald Weasley
To: Hermione Granger
CC: Harry Potter
Subject: Freedom!
Hey…we're getting drunk tonight golden trio style, just found out Malfoy and Pansy went out for dinner, or will be going out, or something, and Gin is out with some girls from work. They all said they'd be back later, around 10. Meaning, if we start early, Pansy won't yell at me for drinking and Ginny won't be around to lead Harry around by the balls.
Harry and I'll get the stuff. Oh, and don't bring another bloke, I'm tired of meeting people Malfoy ends up scaring off. I'm getting their names all confused.
From: Hermione Granger To: Ronald WeasleyCC: Harry Potter
Subject: Re: Freedom!
Oh, hahaha. He didn't scare him off. Him, or any of the others. He just likes to be horrid to people. He just picks on the guys I date because they're fresh meat. He is not intentionally trying to scare them off, you know. I mean; I know what you meant, and that it was a joke. I mean, I think it was funny, but you shouldn't say those sort of things because if you did say them, and in front of someone else, that person might get the wrong idea, like you were saying something else, you know? Hahahaha.
From: Harry Potter
To: Hermione Granger
CC: Ronald Weasley
Subject: Re: Re: Freedom!
Hermione, try not to hyperventilate over there, will you?
Ron, you're an ass. And don't say "golden trio style."
8:00
Hermione Granger had an enemy, a powerful enemy that few knew of. If you would see her enemy in a room, you might think that you'd have nothing to worry about. Indeed, dressed in white, Hermione's foe seems innocent, almost…tropical.
She wasn't deceived.
Hermione circled the table on which it lay, dormant for the time being. Her slow, measured steps barely made a—
"Hermione, its just rum."
Hermione glared at Ron, "No, it is not just rum Ronald. It is Malibu Coconut Rum."
Harry looked back and forth between Hermione and Ron, "Right…that's why we got it. Its all tropical, we thought you'd like it, being a woman and whatnot."
"Fool," Hermione hissed.
"Oh!" Ron slapped his hand against the table, "That's right, I forgot. This is the stuff you always get sick off of, right?
Hermione slouched down into the chair between the two boys, "In the morning, I can smell it in my toothpaste."
"In your toothpaste?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, in my toothpaste. I don't know why."
Ron rolled his eyes, "Listen, sorry I forgot. You want me to go get you something else? Store around the corner doesn't close for another hour or two."
Hermione waved her hand, "Oh, no, its fine. I just won't drink that much of it."
8:30
"You know, this stuff isn't as bad as I remembered."
9:00
"I can't believe we're drinking two nights in a row."
"You can't?"
"Well, I guess its not that hard to believe."
9:30
"I just…I mean, I love you guys."
"Hermione, put down the bottle."
"Ron, shhhhhh. This is funny. Unny."
"You remember when we were little kids and all we'd do was be invisible and play giant games of chess and meet three headed dogs?"
"That was only one year."
"Yeah, but it was so…oh dear..."
"Hermione, do not cry. Listen to me, it was not that much fun. I always got my ass kicked by a tree or something."
Harry raised his hand. Hermione and Ron looked at him in confusion.
"Um, yes?" Hermione called on Harry.
"I always defeated evil, that was definitely harder!"
"Show off." Hermione and Ron muttered together.
Harry's glasses were crooked and halfway off his nose, "Oh sure, now that the war is over, the hero thing is just so last year."
"What do you think Pansy and Draco talk about during their dinners?" Hermione waved her hands in front of her face, "I mean, what do you think they're talking about right this moment?"
Ron shrugged, "I don't know, Pansy muttered something about getting him drunk and finding out why the two of you aren't together."
Hermione blinked, "Really?"
"Yeah."
"Bitch." Hermione watched as Harry finished another drink, "Well, I guess that was nice of her."
Ron nodded his head, "Right, which is why you'll definitely appreciate that Harry and I decided to get you drunk tonight to ask you the same thing."
Hermione narrowed her eyes, "But you two are of equal or greater drunkenness than me."
Ron looked at Harry, who was currently swinging his head back and forth for no reason, "Well, one of us certainly is"
Hermione nodded, and in a stage whisper said, "I think its Harry."
Harry looked over, "Hey! What?"
"Nevermind Harry, she didn't say anything."
Pause.
Ron cleared his throat, "So, what's going on between you and the Ferret?"
"He insinuated stuff last night!"
Ron nodded sympathetically, "Was it about your hair?"
"No it wasn't about my hair. He doesn't insinuate things about my hair."
"Haaaair."
Ron looked over at Harry in alarm, "What the hell."
Harry buried his face in his arms on the table. "Sorry, it just thought it would be fun to say."
"He insinuated things about me and him. Him and me. Like there is a him in me." Hermione paused, and her eyes doubled in size, "I mean AND! Him and me!"
Harry laughed and fell out of his chair. Hermione and Ron leaned over to look at him, and as they did so, he curled up into a ball and made a "mer, mer" noise, before beginning to breathe heavily.
Ron looked over at Hermione and said, "Harry did not stick to the plan of the two of us staying more sober than you."
Hermione giggled, "Do you think we should get him a pillow or something?"
Ron shrugged, "He seems comfortable."
They looked over at Harry again before Hermione said, "I've never seen him pass out that fast."
"Yes you have, you just don't remember it. Why I'm always the most sober out of the two of you, I don't know."
"Because you're afraid of what Pansy will say."
"Yes, that could be the reason."
"She really has you whipped you know."
Ron grimmaced, "Listen, lets not wake him up, we'll go sit on the couch."
Once they had arranged themselves, and Hermione had found a pillow to hug, she began talking. "I mean, I know this is going to sound stupid, but I thought there was something between us during the war--"
"You mean you weren't having sex?"
"—what? No! But during the last battle he told me he loved me."
"What? No!"
"Yeah, but then he ignored me for a long time, and now all we do is argue."
Ron furrowed his eyebrows, "I've heard the two of you up late talking a bunch of times."
"Oh yeah, when we're alone we treat one another like real people, but the rest of the time. I don't know."
Ron nodded, "That's rough."
"No, what's rough is moving into a house and living in the room next to your ex, who has fantastic, loud sex and having to listen to it."
Ron's face turned red, "What the hell? I'm sorry, where did that come from. I'm trying to be a good friend and talk to you about Ferret face."
"Why are you mad at me, you got me drunk, its your fault what I say." Hermione's foot slipped and fell off the couch.
"I'm asking you about Malfoy!"
"I'm telling you about Malfoy!"
"No you're not, you're bitching about me and Pansy."
"I'm not bitching!"
Ron folded his arms and glared at her.
Hermione looked ready to keep on arguing with him until her shoulder slumped, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that. It's just hard being in this house with two couples and a guy who only shows any interest in me when I'm with someone else."
Ron's face softened, "Yeah, I know, sorry for yelling at you. Its weird for me to see the two of you together and know something is going on. I can't imagine what it'd be like living next to you two and listening to…stuff."
"Yeah, I didn't think it would bother me at all, and it usually doesn't, I mean, we were a wrong fit from the start. But sometimes…"
"Yeah, I get it."
"But you know, that wasn't what I was talking about this morning when I said I had had a long night."
"Huh?"
"At Breakfast. I said I had had a long night, and then Pansy apologized for your nasty noises, which I didn't even hear."
Ron winced, "Yeah, she liked to point out we have sex a lot in front of you."
"I've noticed."
"Its weird for her too, you know, living with my...well, you."
Hermione laughed, "I don't think she has anything to worry about. You seem pretty happy now."
Ron looked to the side, "Yeah, pretty happy."
Hermione looked at him for a moment before asking, "Have things gotten worse since we last talked?"
Ron shrugged, "The two of us are just so different. And it's not like us, how we were totally fine with screaming our heads off at one another, because we knew we'd always make up."
"You guys don't fight?"
"No, we do. Or she fights with me, and I sort of take it and does what she tells me to."
"That doesn't sound like you. Well, I mean, we've all seen that between the two of you, but I never liked that about your relationship."
"Yeah, I don't know, it just doesn't seem to matter."
Hermione was about to ask him more, but Ron cut her off, "But tell me about Malfoy. Would you pursue anything with him? I mean, is the weirdness you feel over him just because you feel awkward and a little confused over his actions, or is it because you're really interested."
Hermione paused a moment before speaking softly, "No, I'm definitely interested."
Ron smiled softly, "Wow, bad luck."
Hermione laughed before throwing her arms around Ron and kissing him on the cheek, "It is bad luck! I should have just stuck with you, as crappy as it was. This whole actually dating and finding someone right is exhausting."
Ron laughed too and rubbed her back before taking her chin and moving her face so he could look her in the eyes, "It certainly would have made things a lot easier, wouldn't it of?"
Hermione smiled, tears in her eyes and was about to say, "I think I'm in love with him," before Ron kissed her.
Then, she was about to say, "Oh god, no! Ew!" or even something mature like, "No Ron, you're drunk and depressed."
But she didn't.
The reason she didn't was standing right in front of her and was in the form of a crying Pansy Parkinson saying, "Ronald Weasley. What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Then, Hermione was about to say, "Pansy, I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened, we were just hugging and he is very drunk. I'm sure he didn't mean it, I sure as hell didn't expect it or want it."
But what stopped her from saying that was Draco jumping over a table to punch Ron in the face.
Sadly, "Oh no," was the only thing Hermione actually said.