Title: Vader's Quest Chronicles
Summary: Darth Vader learns that he has a son and the search begins
Disclaimer: Star Wars is the property of George Lucas. No disrespect is intended with this story.
This had to be the absolutely strangest rumor of all, reflected Vader. -- His wife was alive and well and resided with their child on this isolated Outer Rim planet. Although Palpatine often reminded him that his wife had indeed long since committed her essence to the Force, he had suggested that Vader just might double check the validity of the rumor. And a suggestion from his Master was as good as an order -- Vader should go or else. So Vader went. However, if Padme were really dead, why did Palpy seem a little worried? Strange...
Assessed from the air, Berengaria was a restful green world with lakes and trees and stirred in him long-buried memories of Naboo. A faintly queasy feeling grew inside him, and he realized with surprise that he almost hoped that this rumor was truth. Impossible, he knew, but the faint hope persisted as the shuttle settled gently to the landing pad. Well, here goes nothing, thought Vader and left the ship accompanied by a few of his troopers.
The woman was brunette; she was also fat and unkempt. In no way would his slim, elegant, beautiful wife have ever become this filthy slattern, no matter the circumstances. The woman was originally from Naboo; he had to give the rumor credence for that much validity. And she did have a child -- several of them, in fact, all dirty, barefoot, and as uncomprehendingly dense as their mother, who stared at Vader and answered his questions in an unintelligible mumble.
She was far younger than she appeared -- her life had apparently been hard enough to prematurely age her. No father in sight; inquiry brought a shrug for an answer -- she either didn't know, didn't care, or both. Relieved, yet disappointed, Vader abruptly turned and, motioning his escort to follow, he strode swiftly away. He suddenly couldn't wait to leave this planet.
As the world disappeared from his viewscreen, Vader pondered his feelings. This search was evoking too many memories. And memories brought the nightmares. No longer prophetic, they just rehashed the past. He knew that, although he rarely remembered specifics upon waking.
He knew with certainty however, that the next dream would involve his wife, and Mustafar, and Obi-Wan Kenobi. He would keep the lights on at night and delay sleep as long as possible, but the dreams would come, and he would waken, heart pounding, and tears on his face, and with a feeling of utter helplessness and despair...and failure. Whatever else happened in the dreams, there was always that sense of failure upon awakening. Sometimes it seemed he was no longer just Darth Vader, but that he had also become Anakin Skywalker again.
Vader uttered a mocking laugh. Maybe he should now be known as 'Darth Skywalker' or maybe 'Anakin Vader'? He could just picture Sidious' reaction to such a request --laughter, insane, cackling paroxysms of laughter until he coughed and choked. Hmm! if he choked he would be vulnerable...And Vader let his mind fantasize on how he could relieve his Sith Master of life. It was a welcome distraction to occupy the long flight back to the Death Star.
Later, he discussed his trip with Tarkin, although not mentioning his feelings of hope. "In a way, Tarkin, I can understand how such a rumor began. A strange young woman of Naboo, brunette, attractive (which she probably was at the time) arrives with a child and takes up residence as Amé Dahlá...and her name actually is Amé, but the Dahlá was one of convenience. Her appearance and the similarity to 'Amidala' causes speculation...which she did nothing to dispel."
Tarkin smiled. "Of course not. It probably helped her...uh...business. Didn't you say she had several children?"
Vader answered affirmatively. "Oh, yes, and they were all as filthy as she was! How could any man...?" He let the distasteful thought die.
A sharp bark of laughter escaped Tarkin. "Easily, my friend, if he wanted to prove he was better in bed than the legendary Anakin Skywalker."
Vader looked askance, and Tarkin continued. "Yes, my friend, even then the friendship between the beautiful Senator from Naboo and her faithful Jedi protector was common knowledge and the exact relationship speculated upon."
Vader suppressed an explosive gesture. "Force curse it! Is nothing sacred in this Galaxy?"
Tarkin shook his head. "Apparently not, Vader, apparently not." After a moment, he continued. "Your visit will no doubt have added greatly to this woman's notoriety. No doubt she'll claim that her next child was fathered by the infamous Scourge of the Galaxy, Darth Vader. You, my friend, have secured her future!" He dissolved into helpless laughter.
Vader was startled. "You don't mean...? But I didn't.. I couldn't! We weren't alone -- my men were there!"
Tarkin just laughed harder. After a moment of further incredulous speculation, Vader did likewise. "And wait," he gasped, "until Palpy hears that rumor! It will be priceless!"
The Emperor regarded his informant with distaste. "Do you expect me to believe this tale? Some woman is claiming that Lord Vader fathered her child? You must be joking... and I am not amused!" He dismissed the man with a wave of his hand
Knowing it useless to protest the Emperor's assessment, the man left. He was just reporting, as instructed, on rumors centered on Lord Vader and/or his possible children. He did not joke where his duty was concerned, and did not have to put up with such impugning of his character. He vowed to investigate what the Rebels would pay for this information -- surely, it would be of interest to them, also. He was so absorbed that he unfortunately failed to notice that he had been followed by one of Palpatine's personal staff.
Palpatine began to slowly pace, leaving his attendants to remain nearby and wondering at the unaccustomed exercise by their normally indolent employer.
What, he mused, has Vader done now? Surely there is no truth here; there could not be, Vader couldn't now, or could he? Of course I do remember telling the boy that Mustafar had destroyed much of him, including...But he has had a lot of medical treatments since then... Surely they were all for bionic replacements, a bit of plastic surgery to face and chest -- pretty useless, that, but keeping the boy biddable and happy seemed more important, at the time. Nothing more. Palpatine furrowed his brow in concentration. No, there had been nothing that he could recall. Did the woman carry a clone child? No, Vader would never sanction that; he very vocally abhorred cloning for purely reproductive purposes -- at least he claimed that he did...
The Emperor made a sudden decision to command Vader's presence for a confrontation. He returned to his seat and began to plan his questions to his apprentice.
How in blazes had Palpy gotten that kind of rumor -- and so soon? Vader had just returned last week from that place and his unproductive interview with Amé Dahlá. Rumors could travel at light speed, though Vader could have sworn it would have taken longer for one of this magnitude to develop and reach Coruscant.
Tarkin was at first equally clueless. "I do not know, Vader. Unless..." He snapped his fingers. "One of the troopers! Several of them departed for Coruscant -- perhaps one of them heard our joking speculation about the woman and took it as fact. Oh, dear; Palpatine will not be amused, even when you offer the truth in explanation."
Vader agreed with that -- his Master was already unamused and things were going to get worse. How could joking go so wrong? He prepared for his trip to the capital and the commanded audience with Palpatine.
"But, Master, I swear, there is no truth in the story! The woman was disgustingly fat and dirty, probably a prostitute! Tarkin and I merely joked about what she would probably next claim ---!"
"Vader, I am not amused at all! This is nothing about which a Sith lord should joke! Without my efforts, it would have spread throughout the Galaxy. However, my source was...silenced...before he could repeat the story. No more such jokes! Do you understand?"
Feeling like a teenage Padawan, Vader quietly replied, "Yes, Master."
Palpatine then asked, "It was just a joke? You couldn't...? You didn't...?"
Startled, Vader indignantly blurted,"Master! Not only would it have been impossible, but she was filthy and totally unattractive to me! Besides, the med droids will affirm my... condition, as you well know. The only child I have ever had or ever will have is the object of my search!"
"Yes, yes, my young apprentice, calm yourself. I do know that. I just had to reassure myself...and she is not carrying a clone child?" Palpatine knew the answer, even before he asked.
Vader drew himself up to his full height, took a deep breath, and indignantly replied. "Sir, you may be my Master, and I swore you my allegiance, but you cannot insult my integrity! You have heard my thoughts on cloning for that purpose! It is against my own belief in what is ethical. Even a Sith lord must have some ethics. Cloning purely to reproduce oneself is just wrong. If I felt otherwise, there would be many small duplicates of myself littering the Galaxy. There are, to my knowledge, none, and there shall ever more remain none." Vader finished and waited for the explosion of Imperial temper. It was not forthcoming. Instead, Palpatine uttered a short burst of laughter, genuine laughter.
"Bravo, my boy! I felt your anger. You are correct -- even a Sith lord must have some ethics. Yours are not mine, I know that. And, yes, I do know that you could not, would not if you could, and do not desire to populate the Galaxy with your progeny. Go back to the Death Star and continue your search for your true son. I will contact you later." He abruptly dismissed Vader, and left the room.
Vader stood there a moment, feeling relieved, yet slightly crestfallen, that the confrontation had been less combative than expected. Then he also turned and left.
Why did he feel like a fifteen year old Padawan learner? A young apprentice? He was more than forty years old, curse it! Of course, compared to his Master but still. And that speech on ethics, of all things. Vader cringed at the memory. Luckily, it had amused Palpy, not enraged him. Was that all he was good for? Amusing his Master? Vader thought not, although, in retrospect, Palpatine had usually seemed faintly amused by the earnest efforts of his apprentice. There seemed something wrong with that picture, though Vader wasn't quite sure what that something was He relaxed and decided to nap in the quiet cabin of the shuttle -- someone else could fly this damned thing for once.
"He laughed, Tarkin! Why do I feel insulted? I stood there, feeling like a Padawan called before the Council for some youthful indiscretion (and I do well remember how that feels.) I am an adult now. I was no longer a Padawan learner when he took me as his Sith apprentice. But he treats me as if I were a Padawan still. It's an insult! I won't stand for it! He once wanted me named a Jedi Master; he put me on their Council as his personal representative. And now I'm treated like..." In frustrated anger, Vader threw a chair at the wall, and smaller objects rattled and threatened to fly.
Tarkin ducked the flying chair and eyed the other rattlings with misgivings. "Vader, my friend. Of course, you are an adult. He knows that, but like a parent, he still manages to see the youth you were. At least, he laughed. It could have been far worse!" Privately, Tarkin also tended to see the residual youth surface in Vader far too often of late. Perhaps the tensions of this quest to find his son were becoming a bit too wearing on the always delicate balance of Vader's emotional state. Whatever the cause, Vader's behavior was sometimes almost schizophrenic.
Vader stopped and looked at Tarkin. "And that's another thing -- he seems to derive an undue amount of amusement at my expense lately. Is that how he thinks of me? A mere object of amusement? A toy, a plaything, a pet to tease? If so, that is entirely too depressing." He sat abruptly, a picture of dejection and despair.
This was too much for Tarkin's peace of mind. He hastened to lighten the mood. "Vader, think, man! Hasn't he always been amused at your discomfort? He draws power from it! And I don't necessarily mean it as you do -- it empowers him mentally to make you uncomfortable, makes him feel superior. It is somewhat akin to your own intimidation tactics. Surely you can see that?" He kept his voice light, but worry for his friend's state of mind tinged his words.
Vader looked up, then nodded. "Yes, of course you are right, Tarkin. I do see that. But he does draw another power from my discomfort, it feeds that which he draws from the Force. I cannot explain it; I just know that it is so."
"What is it that you say he tells you, Vader? To use your anger. Well, let yourself be angry with him, not with yourself."
Vader let that idea settle into place. Yes, that was what his Master always told him -- to use his anger, let it empower, not frustrate. He straightened his shoulders, thanked Tarkin, and retired to his quarters.
Tarkin watched him go. If Vader felt like an adolescent Padawan, then Tarkin felt like a schoolmaster whose charge was one very extreme case of arrested development. Really, at times, Vader seemed like he was forty-five going on sixteen. Well, at least his hormones weren't raging. Tarkin gave thanks for small favors and retired to his own quarters for the night.