Josephine had taken all necessary precautions. She had waited until the house had fallen completely silent, only then she dared to risk a quick glance outside. The corridor was deserted and all lights had been extinguished. Moving inside of the house without being noticed would not be the difficult part of her flight, what had her worried were the patrolling guards outside. She bravely shouldered the duffle bag that was lying on the floor next to her bed and gave her room one final look of good-bye ere she silently crept through the house.
Her feet made no sound on the carpeted floors, but when she reached the wooden stairs her heart started pounding nervously. She cautiously stepped on the first grade, praying silently it wouldn't creak under her weight. To her immense relieve it didn't. After proceeding in the same fashion down the rest of the stair, she had finally reached the bottom.
Josephine knew her surroundings well, since that was where she had spent almost every waking hour in the past few weeks. Except for a few strolls down the promenade her brother didn't allow her to leave the house, but that would soon belong to the past and fade into an unpleasant memory.
She had no trouble finding her way even in the darkness. She knew where to set her feet and the obstacles in her way that a few articles of furniture presented, were easily evaded. Josephine finally entered the kitchen and cautiously opened the back door to sneak a peak outside. Luckily she had managed to guess just the right moment, to do so. The patrol had just passed and was now continuing his route alongside the house wall. Obviously the monotony of walking his rounds all night had dulled his senses. The torch in his hand flickered as a draft of wind hit him, but he continued his way mindlessly. Josephine silently crept out of her hiding place, careful to avoid the luminary of light that extended from the torch the soldier carried in his hand. She followed him till they reached the garden door which, to her astonishment, stood open. She didn't question this lucky coincidence and hurried outside quickly.
Anticipation made her reach their meeting place in no time. The fountain was dabbling merely and when she briefly looked down at the surface, underneath which dozens of golden coins were sparkling, Josephine could see her own face smiling back at her. She had arrived a little bit untimely, thanks to her excitement. That left her with few more minutes to kill before he would turn up, so she reached in her pocket and produced a small golden coin. The young woman closed her eyes and made a wish, then quickly threw the coin over her shoulder. She chuckled at her own naivety and her face quickly grew serious again, when her nervousness regained its hold on her.
How she wished he would come! After his conversation with Cutler this afternoon Norrington had been completely altered. There was a dark shadow on his face that made her suspect he had just received dreadful news, but whenever she asked what it was that bothered him, he had always shaken his head.
As the minutes passed and Josephine grew more and more agitated. She waited passed the appointed time. She waited even until she would have had to hasten to make it to the ship in time, but to no avail. He simple wouldn't appear. Her fears finally became a certainty and she finally had to acknowledge her defeat. The disappointment ran deeper than she was willing to admit, but she didn't have any time to lose. Begrudgingly her feet started walking down the street towards the harbour.
She didn't get far. After a few meters she stopped. The expression on her face was baffled as if she, herself didn't know what she was doing. The young woman shook her head exasperatedly and forced herself to start walking again, but the endeavour turned out to be as fruitless as the first time. She let the duffle bag drop from her shoulder with a sigh.
How was this possible? Her hands slumped down at her sides in exasperation. She had wanted this so much, hoped and prayed for this moment and now that the prospect of being finally free was at her grasp, she let it simple slip away. Why, why, why? Josephine threw an accusatory glance in the direction from which she had come. The mansion was completely dark, except for one window which was emitting a warm shine. Some one was still awake at this hour of night. The contours of the light began to blur as tears rose in her eyes and it became a formless shimmering mass. She averted her head and quickly wiped her eyes with a brush of her hand.
She knew why she couldn't go, but didn't dare to say it or even think it at the moment. What had happened to her capability of acting rationally? How could she let someone affect her that deeply she only knew a couple of days? When she thought of him there was - apart from the feeling of indignation about the fact that he had failed to appear - something else she was having trouble defining. What she knew though was that it was deeply irrational, because it made her stomach flutter, her heart beat faster and it suspiciously resembled the state of euphoric inebriation.
Josephine's face fell, she dejectedly reached for her bag and slowly strode back towards the mansion. Behind her she could hear the bell tower strike twelve. The ship which was to be her escape into a new life, was now leaving the harbour.
She managed to somehow make it back to the house undetected. When she had closed the back door behind her, she leant against it for a couple of seconds and took a few calming breaths. Her hands reached to touch her face, which was surprisingly cool against the tips of her fingers, though she felt like she was burning up.
With a queasy feeling inside the pit of her stomach she crept up the stairs to the first floor and briefly cowered at the corner to see if she could safely proceed. She took a turn to the right, the opposite direction of where her room was, but that was not where she was headed anyway. At the next corner she stopped abruptly, because she heard footsteps approaching and the lowered voices of two men.
"Lord Beckett said till twelve o' clock. He won't try to escape now," she heard some one say.
"Your right. Where would he be going anyways?" another voice replied matter-of-factly.
Josephine pressed against the wall and held her breath, when the footsteps got louder. Two soldiers passed her. They carried a candle and were either too engrossed in conversation or too tired to see her. Which of the two reasons it ultimately was, resulted as comparatively unimportant to her, since she had managed to stay unnoticed. She quickly snug around that last corner and softly knocked at Norrington's door.
He opened a couple of seconds later. The expression on his face was utterly shocked, but there was something else apart from that, which she was not quite able to discern. Maybe relief? He was about to say something, but she shook her head and indicated the corridor behind her. He nodded at her grimly and motioned her to step inside.
"Miss Beckett….why?" Norrington asked as soon as the door had closed behind them, but due to his emotionally agitated state, he wasn't able to find the adequate words.
"I couldn't. I simply couldn't," Josephine said as if she was just realizing it herself. She let the duffle bag drop to the floor without even paying attention to it and sagged down on a chair.
He hadn't moved from his spot next to the door. He was still too baffled about her sudden appearance to speak, so he waited for her to explain - to tell him why she had chosen to return.
"I….oh God….I…," she started, but failed miserably. Her anger at her incapability of expressing herself had to find some outlet, so she reached for her hat, that had been part of her disguise and threw it across the room with a disdainful gesture.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't come, you see your brother he…he somehow found out about yesterday night. I presume it was the Captain who told him," he gulped heavily, when he saw the expression on her face change from angry to shocked. "He agreed to let you go if I stayed behind."
"So, that's why you didn't come?" her voice was trembling.
"Yes," he admitted finally. "He didn't leave me any choice. He even threatened to kill you if I tried to escape."
"Of course, a life for a life," her voice sounded hollow, strangely devoid of emotion, "So that's what my brother is capable of…I always suspected, but now I know," she let out an ironic laugh. "A life for a life. Yours for mine…that was a very stupid bargain you made there, James. You should have fled, while you still could."
The sound of his name as well as the choice of her words made him to look at her. There was sad smile on her face.
"As is returning, when it would have been so easy to start a new life, Josephine," he let out a resigned sigh.
The young woman laughed humourlessly and got to her feet, "Believe me, I found out on my way back that reason has nothing to do with this."
"Then why did you come back?" there was a velvety and very intense quality to his voice that had escaped her till now.
"I couldn't go…," Josephine stuttered and only now it occurred to her that she had stormed into his room, that it was the middle of the night and he was only clothed in a shirt and trousers. The whole situation was beyond promiscuous. She could feel her cheeks burning, but she ignored it. The look in his eyes compelled her to hold his gaze. Maybe it was the candlelight playing tricks on her imagination, because she thought she saw in his gaze something akin to deep fondness, possibly more.
"You've already said," he supplied softly.
"Yes, I know," she smiled at him shyly. "I don't know how to explain….While I was standing there waiting…I realized…," Josephine took a deep breath, "that I didn't want to leave without you. I don't know what has gotten into me…how….this has happened…what this means…"
He saw the hopeful look in her eyes, when she looked at him and part of him wanted nothing more than confess her his feelings, but a inner voice told him not to. That he would inevitably doom her to a fate she didn't deserve. She deserved happiness and all he had to offer was despair. He had nothing to give. There was no way out of this situation. He assumed Beckett had taken every possible precaution to make sure he wasn't able to escape. Though it would be relatively easy to get out of the house, they would still not be able to get out of Port Royal. The harbour would be heavily guarded and there was still Beckett's threat that he would kill Josephine. He could not risk that.
Beckett had promised he would let her go if he stayed behind…He didn't know if the other man could be trusted to keep the promises he made, but maybe if Josephine went alone she would have at least have a chance to escape.
Norrington fell silent for a few seconds, which didn't add to her reassurance. She was already thinking she might have offended him with her frankness, but then he finally started speaking.
"Josephine," there was a strained quality to his voice, "As sorry as I am to say this, but I think I am not worthy of your esteem…as I said the first time we talked, you don't know what kind of man I am, what your brother wants me to do. No matter what you have been told…you can't know."
"Well, then I'd suggest you tell me," Josephine said simply, while she tried to calm the turmoil of hopefulness, preoccupation and exasperation that was raging inside her chest.
"Does the name Davy Jones mean anything to you? Have you heard the stories about him?"
Josephine frowned, what did a mythical figure have to do with the situation at hand, "Yes, I think everybody has."
"I know that this will sound foolish, but you will have to trust my word on this. He's real. He's as real as you and me and your brother has his heart…."
"The means to control him…," she whispered.
"Yes."
"But how could he have gotten it? Isn't it supposed to be safely hidden away somewhere?" It was hard for her to believe him, but she tried.
"It was I who brought it to him. In exchange for my old life. You saw to what I was reduced, the kind of man I had become…"
"I could find anything wrong about you the first time I met you…," Josephine replied.
"Then your judgment about me was clearly too premature," he interrupted her.
"All I was thinking about was that I had to somehow re-establish my honour. So I didn't allow myself to see your brother for what he truly is – a cold-hearted, ruthless man, who wouldn't even shy away from killing his own sister."
"I realize now there is no way of undoing the happenings of the last three years. Things will never be the same," Norrington added regretfully.
"Of course, they won't. You're not the same man as you were three years ago."
"Yes…., but who am I then, Josephine?"
"That's a question only you can answer," she replied softly.
"There was I time when I could have answered that question easily. Back then I didn't know yet that my ambition was not only a fine quality that helped me achieve the things I wanted, but that it could also drive me into an obsession that would ruin me," he looked at her face despairingly. All he could find there was a patient understanding that coaxed the words right out of him. Deep down he knew they needed to be said, because each time he was able to verbalize some of the thoughts that had been tormenting him for so long, he felt relieved and yet terrified at the same time. The things he had discovered about himself in those long lonely night, drinking, despairing, became real and constituted a truth, that frightened him as did the rest of this new world that had been concealed underneath the one he thought he knew well.
"It was so easy then. So easy to tell right from wrong, but it appears I have lost my moral compass. The world had turned upside down. It's become a place were pirates are more honourable than English lords…." he shook his head as if he wasn't quite able to believe his own words. He had always been convinced he knew where he stood, that what he did was right, now he was even having trouble defining what the right thing was. What had become of him? Did not his selfish wish to re-establish his honour condemn him to be a villain? But who could tell right from wrong in the end, since it had become a matter of perspective, an intricate play of checkers in which the roles were constantly assigned anew.
"You see, Josephine, I'm not worthy of your esteem. I don't even know who I am anymore so I'm clearly not the kind of man you should settle for," his voice was almost imploring, as if he was afraid of something.
One of her delicate eyebrows arched ironically, "Settle for…," she repeated his words almost depreciatively. She unconsciously licked her lips before she continued, "I'm not settling for anything…Ever since I turned eighteen a lot of suitors have turned up at our doorstep, because they thought marrying into this family would be something desirable….but all I felt was…nothing, indifference. I thought there was something wrong with me, that I simply wasn't meant to experience something like that…., but what I feel for you is positively the absolute opposite of indifference."
She had been more frank with him than she had ever been with any other person. It seemed to be a special ability of his, a reaction he provoked inside of her, to actually make her say what she thought.
"I'd lie if I said I didn't have any feeling for you, Josephine…" his soft admission made her look at him in astonishment. She had not expected him to say something like that and much less did she understand the reaction his words provoked inside of her – a mixture of joyous excitement and fear.
However her hopes were quenched, when he continued, "…but I'm lost. I can't offer you anything."
"You're not lost," she wrinkled her forehead as if the taste of the words didn't suit her. "This is something different…it's change. It's just change. It would mean nothing if it wasn't hard."
"I don't like change."
"I can hardly hold that against you," Josephine threw him a shy smile, which he couldn't help but reciprocate. "I always wanted things to change and by God they have…I can never go back to the way things were and perhaps that suits me well since I spent every waking hour wishing I could somehow escape my old life. Now that I have, I have nowhere to go, but ahead…I'm forced to always keep moving, even though I don't know where my next step falls. There's no one to guide me, to help me with advice…I wish my father was here to tell me what to do…," her voice broke and she blinked rapidly to keep the tears out of her eyes. She was a brave person and wouldn't allow herself to show any frailty.
He surprised her with his next step. Without any hesitation he took her in his arms and she could feel her resolution slip from her step by step. His nearness, the solace of the physical contact made the walls she had erected crumble slowly. A tear trailed down her cheek. She quickly wiped it way with the back of her hand and let out a stifled laugh, "You see after all I'm just a woman."
"Not just a woman…quite a remarkable one, actually," his voice made his chest vibrate pleasantly.
After a long pause he finally started speaking again. "Josephine?"
"Yes?" the young woman raised her head to look at him expectantly.
"Would you object if…may I kiss you?"
"Yes," was all she managed to get out, over the loud drumming of her heart inside her ears.
She was standing so close he could smell her perfume, see her under lip quiver slightly, the golden shine of the candle light that reflected in her eyes. He knew if he didn't act now, the moment would pass and his chance would be gone. Hesitantly he pulled her closer. The intoxicating scent of her grew more intense, a mixture of lily, soap and something else he couldn't identify.
His lips brushed gently against hers. It was a very soft, almost featherlike caress. The sensation of his strong arms around her was rooting her to the ground while his innocent kiss made her feel weightless as if she could fly. Their lips separated briefly, then reunited again this time with more fervour. Her hands that rested on his back, unconsciously pulled him closer. Their closeness, the kiss, the multitude of pleasant feelings that flooded her consciousness combined and transformed into a pleasant warmth that spread through her entire body. She had never felt this way, yet she had never been kissed this way either. She had never been kissed at all, to be truthfully.
Their lips finally separated, though rather reluctantly. When she looked at him and there was this content expression on his face – a smile that spoke volumes of his affection towards her.
Josephine snuggled closer to lean her head against his shoulder, which she found to be a absolutely comfortable position. Her eyes were about to fall shut, when she suddenly had an interesting thought. They immediately snapped open again and she took a step back in bafflement.
"What's is it, Josephine?" James asked worriedly, "Is something wrong?"
"No, I think I might just have had an idea," she looked at him a little confusedly.
Author's note: Thanks for the reviews, you guys. I was starting to wonder if someone was out there ;-) So be kind and leave a few lines. It's one of the things that helps me through the day...