Giddy Brew
Chapter 2: Muggle Studies For Idiots
By: The Brat Prince
A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter; here's the second. The disclaimer still holds. Enjoy, but don't forget to review!
Reupped Chapter Two!!! Yay.
The next day, Prue all but forgot the secret passageway. She was too busy. First thing in the morning, the girls dragged themselves out of bed and down the stairs to the Great Hall. They were greeted by Bobby's chipper face. Casey, who was not a morning person, was snoring into his porridge, while Sylvester was chatting amiably with Seprie.
"How in the world can you be so happy this early in the morning?" Prue asked Bobby groggily.
"Prue, darling, if God wanted us to wake up after noon, he never would have allowed man to create alarm clocks; bewitched or muggle," Antoinetta had an annoying voice. Sort of lilting and lyrical, but at the same time, very rough around the edges. Screechy, in a way. Like nails on a chalkboard.
"We have divination first, don't we?" Elanore broke in, trying to avoid a potential fight. She had six years of experience when it came to dealing with Antoinetta and Prue. Six long years of headaches.
Serendipity nodded, "Yeah. Professor Claire. She's new. The author of a lot the old divination books, I think. Gwessandra Claire. For some reason I always thought it was Cassandra…"
"Hmm, we share Divination Hufflepuff, don't we? I guess that means you and I will be pairing up, hunh Sere?" Prue grinned, "Elanore will be too busy goggling over Rufus to notice us."
"Actually," the irritating voice of Bobby broke in, "I heard Professor Claire wants to assign us groups for the whole year. Because of what happened last year."
His face was solemn, but his eyes were dancing. What happened last year wasn't a secret. Bobby and Casey had been paired, as well as Serendipity and Prue, Sylvester and Elanore, and Quant with Frank. Casey had figured it would be funny to place a levitation charm on all of the crystal balls, sending them whirling around the room while Bobby provided the sound effects; a quacking duck. It was a stupid prank that had gotten a little out of control, a little being a lot. Frank happened to be quite superstitious, and was completely unaware that the whole phenomenon was an Iceman prank. He had flipped, literally. Out a window in the Divination room. Which was at the top of an eight story tower. Luckily, Gryffindor beater Noah Weslen (also the drummer for Dark Symphony) had been practicing below and caught Frank. But the one thousand year old stained glass mosaic which the old professor had had imported from Russia was ruined.
"Damn, I guess she's going to be really strict," Casey cursed, lifting his head, dripping with the soupy oatmeal substance.
"It's your fault, you know," Prue admonished.
"I don't think strict could ever describe a divination teacher. I mean, remember Professor Oldham? Despite that whole incident, she was definitely a bit trippy. And before her, I heard the really old one who croaked back in the war with Voldemort was quite a lunatic," thoughtfully, Serendipity continued, "What was her name? Trelawney?"
"Something like that," Bobby grinned, "But why talk about the dead when we have the new and just barely living?"
He pointed to Gethsemane Kenth, talking somewhat animatedly to some boy. She was a Slytherin, and in traditional fashion, always seemed paler than a corpse.
"Oh, leave the poor girl alone," Seprie whined, "After what you did to her last time, I'm shocked the lot of you aren't in detention for the rest of your lives." Quant and Frank wandered over from Gryffindor's table to sit down.
"Hey!" Prue protested, "Don't blame us. We're innocent."
"Yeah," Serendipity added, "Perfect saints."
"You guys are so corny," Elanore rolled her eyes, gathering her books, "Before you do something to poor Gethsemane, I'm going to Divination. That way I won't be blamed. Quant, you coming?"
The dark haired boy shook his head in the negative, "I think I'll watch what Casey has cooked up. If all else fails, I'll tell McGonagall I was just watching."
"I don't think the old crone would believe you. She's been here since before Harry Potter!" Antoinetta admonished. Prue raised an eyebrow. Harry Potter was not a name many people mentioned in Hogwarts. Ever since he had assumed Lord Voldemort's position as The Dark Wizard most feared in all the world thirteen years ago, his name had become some sort of curse.
"Oh, don't look at her like that. Look," Seprie said pointedly, "Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter. I don't see any vengeance demons coming to kill me or nothing."
"It's not a vengeance demon, Seprie. It's a ghost. The ghost of Potter and all his accomplices, good or bad. That's a hell of a lot of ghosts. The Bloody Baron wouldn't be able to take them on," Frank wiggled his fingers in the air, attempting to be relatively spooky. It wasn't working, considering he was the only one at the table scared of ghosts. Seprie rolled her eyes and got up. When she left, Antoinetta followed, as did Elanore.
"Ha! Blissful silence!" Frank laughed delightedly.
"Oh, you're just mean," Serendipity shot him a nasty glare.
"But look, Gethsemane has friends!" Bobby exclaimed, shushing them all up by waving his arms in the air. True enough, the boy Gethsemane had been speaking to had left. Two other boys joined her; Joshua Kenth, her brother, and Dirk Drake. Both were the nastiest Slytherins in the entire school.
Prue wasn't all that fond of any of them. Gethsemane was a short, pale girl with dark curls and black, squinty eyes. Her brother Joshua was a better catch; tall, dark and handsome. Even if his skin was the same sallow color as Gethsemane. Dirk was a different story entirely. His skin was the whitest of all, as white as snow, and his hair was green. Green, of all colors.
Of course that was partially Casey's fault. First year, when Elanore had done the charm to dye her hair purple, they had been in double potions with Slytherin. Professor Esquiline had her back to the class; she was discussing some important matter with Professor Flavian, the Charms teacher. Well, to the class it had looked like flirting, but in Professor Esquiline's exact words, they were having a conversation of some relevance. Funny how Prue remembered those words.
Anyway, Casey had seen Elanore's concoction and naturally thought it was too great a chance to pass up. He had dumped the whole thing over Dirk's head. Dirk had been sitting next to Prue. Thus his green hair and her white locks. There had been just enough potion left to streak Elanore's tresses. And the whole thing had been permanent, or at least Professor Esquiline had insisted it was. Prue and Elanore suspected Dirk had liked his new do and talked her into letting him keep it without embarrassing himself.
Now, Prue never really liked him much after that. Her parents had been pretty angry about her new look; they said she was too young. Still, Dirk was sort of handsome in a slimy, annoying way. Or so Serendipity told her. Prue would never admit that it was true.
"Dirky!" Casey exclaimed, a wickedly evil grin on his face. Serendipity smacked him in the stomach, which just made him laugh.
"Ah, Casey," Dirk replied coldly, "Watson, Ridley, Phantom…mudbloods." Dirk gave Prue, Frank, and Bobby a honey sweet smile.
"Hullo Dirk, come to see if Casey would let you join The Dark Orbit again?" Bobby didn't seem much phased by the insult of 'mudblood'. Frank, however, looked crestfallen; his muggle family wasn't the greatest, and he didn't like being reminded that he had been spawned from people the rest of the magical world would always look down on. Like Bobby, Prue couldn't have cared less, but she was having a job restraining Casey, even with Sylvester's help.
"Honestly, you asked for it when you called him Dirky, you know he hates that!" She hissed at Casey, pulling at the orange spikes in his hair to keep him from attacking.
Dirk yawned disinterestedly, "Why ever would I want to join that pathetic excuse for a band?"
"You think we would let you?" Casey growled in return. Dirk had asked to join The Dark Orbit, once, when he had found out about the band's rising popularity. However, he hadn't asked Casey, but his brother Cerulean. Big mistake there; Cerulean disliked Slytherins even more than Casey. Prue had heard he also asked to join Dark Symphony. Orpheus, Noah, and Polaris had turned him down flat.
"Hmm, no. I was just talking to Gethsemane and Joshua about the Halloween Masquerade. I was thinking of dressing as a mudblood. What do you think Prudence? Could I pass as your brother?"
This time Casey had to restrain Prue. No one was allowed to call her Prudence.
"I don't have a brother you bastard!" She shrieked, trying to escape Casey's arms. Suddenly, she stopped. Somehow, Serendipity had snuck around Gethsemane, Joshua, and Dirk without drawing their attention. She had her wand poised in the air, and seemed to be wondering which spell to use. Bobby was mouthing words, but Prue couldn't catch them.
"Stripiculus!" The redhead whispered, waving her wand over the Slytherins' heads. A bright light bathed their bodies. And then the three of them stood, completely stripped down to their underwear, in the midst of the great hall. Joshua wore black silk boxers, Prue noted, very nice taste. As for Dirk, he had very attractive cotton shorts, patterned with little black and white penguins. The penguins had very big eyes and noiselessly waddled across the cloth.
Gethsemane probably had it the worst. She stood in the middle of the hall, with half the school laughing at her, wearing a pink and white bra and panty set that read 'Barbie' in big, bold letters. Casey raised an eyebrow, chuckling, "Muggle clothes?"
Prue, Frank, and Bobby broke out laughing at the same time, "Barbie!"
Shaking her head and looking quite proud of herself, Serendipity ushered the seven of them out of the Great Hall, with only Quant seeming relatively sober. Unfortunately, he and Frank had to leave for their class; Potions with Slytherin. The rest trudged the remainder of the way to Divination, good moods dwindling when they remembered the threat of a new teacher.
As it turned out, the new teacher was, as per Serendipity's prediction, a lunatic. Her name was in fact Gwessandra Claire. She was taller and skinnier than anyone Prue had ever seen before; her stringy, vibrantly silver-gray hair brushed the ceiling and contrasted her darker than dark olive skin. It also came to pass that she was very, very strict when it came to her seating arrangements.
"Okay. I run a tight ship and I expect everyone to stay on board," were her first words to the class, followed by, "Don't you like my puffy pink pillows?"
Everyone knew her to be a bit strange after that. The only pillows in the room were the metallic, shimmering ones the students used to sit on, and none of them looked even slightly pink. There were dusky rose ones, but definitely not pink.
"She's a bit nutters, that one," Bobby whispered to everyone.
"Hmm, seating arrangements. Hargrove and Stone…will not be sitting together," She nodded to herself, looking at an invisible list on her palm, "Instead, I'd like Hargrove to sit with Gelliston." Prue glared at Casey, who smirked in reply, "You two take the green cushions. I want Toole and Kingston on the purple ones, and Diesel with Feehan."
Oriole Toole, a Hufflepuff, sat next to Elanore on the glittering purple pillows. Elanore blew Rufus a kiss before begrudgingly giving Oriole her full attention. Antoinetta looked pretty happy to be sitting next to Seprie on fluffy yellow pillows, and Serendipity ended up sitting with a cute Hufflepuff named Elliot Page on the dark blue cushions. Bobby was partnered with a Hufflepuff girl named Trudy Swann, and had to sit on the dusky rose colored pillows. Sylvester sat with Rufus on the orange ones.
"Okay, today we will be exploring visions. If you don't have the makings of a true seer, too bloody bad for you. I do not accept excuses such as that." Professor Claire paused and added, "Blue monkeys."
She told them to open their text books, and they did, but while everyone else set out to work; seeing if they could put their partner in a vision-receptive trance, Casey took advantage of Prue and his position in the corner of the classroom, "Hey, I looked up some stuff on the forbidden forest."
"Oh?" Prue was interested, if not annoyed that no work would ever get done with the two of them sitting together. There was a reason she always chose to sit with Elanore when given a choice, and it wasn't because the tiny girl was one of her good friends.
"Yeah. Turns out the place has been around longer than any other forest in the world. Some of the trees have been dated back really, really, really far."
"Well, what's that have to do with anything? I mean, we knew it was old. Hogwarts is old."
"You don't get it, do you? Some of the trees date back to a time when…well, when muggle scientists claim the world didn't exist yet."
"So we're living next to alien life forms?" Prue asked skeptically. Casey had to search his brain for the meaning of the word alien. It didn't look like he found it, "You know, creatures from outer space. Where the stars are. Little green men? Agh!" She exclaimed at the blank look on his face.
"You muggle-borns sure are weird. Believing little green men live on the stars."
"Fine. You explain where the trees came from," she glared at him.
"Does it look like something I'd know? I'm just a guitarist," he grinned in response, "Hey, don't you think Oriole's pretty cute?"
Casey gestured to Elanore's partner. She was pretty, with mocha colored skin and short, raven colored hair cut like a boy's.
"Does it look like something I'd know?" Prue imitated him, "She's above your level Casey."
"Oh, and you're below it?" He slung his arm around her shoulder amiably.
"Excuse me? Since when have we been dating?" Wiggling out from under his arm, she stuck her tongue out.
"I'm tempted, but not in divination," Casey replied smugly. Now Prue was just grossed out.
"Git."
"Thank you. But haven't you thought about it before? You, me? We could be pretty spectacular together."
Prue sighed, "Yeah, a spectacular wreck."
Casey scowled, running a hand through his hair, "Why did you tell them there was nothing between us? You know, last year?"
"Because there was nothing between us. Casey, there is nothing between us," Prue's voice faltered, and she returned closing her eyes and trying to get into receptive trance, but her concentration was broken. She opened her eyes again and saw Casey was staring distantly out the window.
"Oh, don't look like that. I wish you'd stop messing with me. I know you're not interested in me, so just stop the joke. It's getting old," Prue snapped.
Casey frowned, "Hey, I never said I was messing with you!"
Professor Claire had been staring into her tea, but as Casey and Prue's voices raised, she broke out of her daydream and looked at them sharply. They were saved by Serendipity and Antoinetta, both of whom had raised their hands and cried, "Professor!"
The next half hour was eventful. Antoinetta had supposedly gotten Seprie into a trance, all right, but the thing was, the girl refused to come out of it. Finally, after a few well placed charms, Professor Claire concluded Seprie wasn't in a trance at all. As evidenced by the unladylike snores emanating from her nose, the girl was sleeping. The professor was a bit miffed by this, and even more so when she reached Serendipity and Elliot. Seems Sere really had put Elliot in a trance. Unfortunately it wasn't a vision-receptive trance. It was a suggestion-receptive one.
Poor, poor Elliot was subjected to ten minutes of torture from Sylvester, Rufus, and Bobby before Serendipity was able to call Professor Claire over. She had been comforting Trudy previously. Bobby had told the poor, slightly obese Hufflepuff girl that she was fat and ugly. Funny how Professor Claire hadn't heard the girl's loud, obnoxious crying but had managed to hear Casey and Prue arguing.
Class ended early because Professor Claire accidentally blew up all the cushions in frustration. Feathers flew everywhere. It seemed she wasn't a good person to piss off despite the words she left them with, "Fruity fruit loops."
Potions with Professor Amethyst Esquiline passed almost uneventfully. The sole mishap was when Professor Esquiline drunk some of her own 'Giddy brew'. Aptly named, the woman started babbling about all the wild things she did when she attended Hogwarts, some of which would have been rated above R had they been at a muggle movie theater. She also insisted they call her by her first name. When the potion wore off and everyone said, "Goodbye Amethyst," she had been completely aghast. Charging them all with disrespect, both Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff lost fifty points.
Herbology with Professor Yuhvahnya Singer was same old, same old, as was History of Magic with Professor Binns. At least in that class he didn't give seating assignments, Prue reflected, even if the old goat had been around as long as the forbidden forest.
Her last class was Muggle Studies. The only other Ravenclaws who took it were Casey and Bobby; because the latter had promised to let the former stay at his summer house if he learned how to behave properly. Considering the fact that Bobby's summer house was bigger than Hogwarts and placed on an island in the middle of the Caribbean, Casey was game. Prue would have been too.
She sort of liked Muggle Studies. It almost felt a little like home, regardless of the fact that she didn't live in the nuclear family Dorny was always explaining. Dorny was what they called Professor Flavian. Dorniticus Flavian, not Tiberius Flavian, who was the Charms teacher. Plus, Dorny adored Prue and Bobby, two of his only three muggle born students, so much so that he sometimes let them give their own lectures. It was a nice power trip. However today, talk strayed to the Halloween masquerade.
"I want you all to choose to dress as characters from muggle history or literature," Dorny told them, "Whoever does recieves fifty house points."
Prue was thinking. She wasn't sure who she wanted to be, but more to her worry, she didn't have a date. There was no way in hell she would go with Casey, who was dropping hints all over the place that he was free. Luckily for her, Bobby was the one who asked directly, "Prue, fancy going to the masquerade with me? We could go as some romantic, famous couple. It would be bloody good fun."
"Sure," Prue grinned when she saw the stricken expression on Casey's face. He looked like a puppy dog that had been denied a biscuit, "Hey Casey, you should ask Oriole. I mean, you did say you thought she was cute."
He just glared at Bobby, "Tosser."
What ensued was a good-natured or at least relatively good-natured duel, Iceman style. Bobby and Casey were throwing icicles which sprouted from the tips of their wands like glistening waterfalls. Prue wasn't fooled into believing they were really fighting over her; they were laughing. So was she; leaning over to talk to Gryffindor Dana Wingate, she whispered, "This masquerade thing might not be so bad after all."