Disclaimer: I don't own Metal Gear, or anything else I might mention in this story
Metal Gear:
In Da Hood
By: C Dink
Chapter Three: Road Trip
Announcer: What...What the hell, I wanted mustard you ass...Oh, hey, didn't see you there.So..anyway, Snake and the gang freed Otacon's sorry ass from prison,now they have fleed to another state!Meanwhile, Kansas and Toto are hot on there tail!Why?Because it's just something to do.Who knows whats gonna happen?Actually, I do...but you don't,SO SUCK IT!
(Snake and the gang are driving down the road, trying to find somewhere to go)
Snake: So,where are we supposed to go?
Ocelot: How about a strip club?
Snake: I was talking about somewhere to live.
Ocelot: So was I.
Johnny: Be serious Ocelot, we have to find somewhere to live,We broke someone out of prison, and stole a car!
(Snake slams on his brakes and Raiden hitsthe the back of his front seat)
Snake: What?
Johhny: How do you think we got the car?
Snake: I thought you bought it?
Johhny: Hell no, I don't have any money.
Ocelot: Damn, you are a really stupid person.
Snake: So now we might face even more jail time?
Ocelot: Yeah, he's a dumbass
Johnny: I am not.
Ocelot: Spell cat.
Johnny: Um..Could you use it in a sentence?
Ocelot: I rest my case.
Otacon: We all know he's a dumbass, let's get to things that are more important.
Snake: He's right...we need a place to stay!
(Raiden wakes up)
Raiden: Hey! We can stay at mine and Rose's summer home!
Snake: Great!..Wait, how can you afford a summer home?
Raiden: Well, Rose is a Hooker on the side.
Otacon: Yeah, and she's all over the internet!
Raiden: Yeah, and it gives us plenty of...Wait how do you know that Otacon?
Ocelot: Yeah..how do you know?
Otacon: Uh...I guessed?
Ocelot: Oh..that was smooth.
Raiden: Whatever...but were only a couple hours away.
Johnny: Off to the summer home!
Uh-Oh It's Kansas and Toto
(Kansas and Toto are on there way to a friends house,There mission?Who knows)
Toto: So what are we doing anyway?
Kansas: I think you know!
Toto: No I don't
Kansas: Oh this is just another one of your crazy ideas
Toto: What the hell are you talking about?
Kansas: Good, were almost there!
Toto: Almost where?
Kansas: Were going to...
Toto: Quit adding to suspense and tell me.
Kansas: Solid Squirrel's house!
Toto: Who's that?
Kansas: Someone with the same mission as us!
Toto: Which is?
Kansas:To kill all the Metal Gear Solid characters!
Toto: Why?
Kansas: So we can be the stars!
Toto: Oh.
Kansas: Hahahahahahahahahahah...laugh..hahahahahaha!
Toto: he..hehe
Kansas: Laugh like a man!
Toto: Hahahahahahaha!
Kansas: Good
Back to Snake
(Snake and his people are making there way to Raiden's summer home, Johnny and Raiden are asleep in the back)
Ocelot: So what are we supposed to do when we get there?
Snake: Start life over I guess.
Ocelot: That sucks. I had a good life.
Johnny: You live alone and kidnap people and torture them.
Ocelot: It's a good life for me!
(Suddenly they here police sirens)
Snake: Crap! We don't have the registration!
(Ocelot opens the glove box)
Ocelot: Odd, it's in the glovebox, Who put's there registration there?
Snake: Oh,I just didn't look is all, orI probably would have seen it.
Ocelot: Whatever helps you sleep at night, asshole
(The cop walks up)
Cop: Sir, do you know whyI pulled you over?
Snake: No, not at all
Cop: Actually, im randomly pulling people over to check if there car is stolen.
Snake: Okay.
Cop: Is this a stolen car?
Snake: No.
Cop: That's good enough for me, have a nice day.
(The cop walks off)
Ocelot: That was easy.
Snake: I hope thats the only run in with the law we have!
(They pull forward and run into the cop car)
Snake: Crap, did he see us?
Ocelot: No...Keep going, he's only in the car
Snake: Good.
(They drive off)
Snake: Ah, were running low on gas.
(Snake pulls into a gas station)
Snake: Ocelot, pump the gas whileI pay.
(Snake walks in the gas station and bumps into..Sam Fisher)
Sam: Oh..Snake..how's it going?
Snake: Fine, My newest game didn't suck..you know like yours did.
Sam: Hey Chaos Theory was good!
Snake: Whatever!
(Snake pays for the gas)
Sam: It wasn't!
(Snake returns to the car)
Ocelot: Okay...let's go
(They drive off, towards the summer home)
Ocelot: I still think the strip club would be better to live in.
Snake: Hey, I already have Fox-Die, I don't need any more diseases
Ocelot: Whatever!
Snake: Were almost there, just shut up
Ocelot: Good,I need a good bath
Snake: Yeah, an acid bath
Ocelot: What was that?
Snake: I said... a bath with lots of bubbles.
Ocelot: Riiiight.
Snake: Alright were here! Raiden, Johnny wake up!
Johnny: Are we here?
Raiden: Yep. This is it!
Snake: Well, let's go make it our new home.
To be continued...
AU: Well, I like that I have some fans out there, and I hope you enjoy the rest of my story, It's getting hard writing them this long,Thats why this one is a little shorter than my last, but longer than my first, and this one didn't have as much funny moments, this chapter was for bringing in the story, but...as always, keep it real