Disclaimer: I don't own Metal Gear, or anything elseI might mention in this story
Metal Gear:
In Da Hood
By: C Dink
Chapter 7: The Plot Thickens
AU: Yes..it truly does thicken, im winding this story down..so don't look for too many more chapters..but don't you worry yet though
Announcer: Damn...For once I have nothing witty to say...shut up.
(Vamp walks into squirrel's house)
Squirrel: Where have you been, I've been worried sick!
Vamp: But I...
Squirrel: No buts..
(Toto Walks In)
Toto: Now what you were screaming last night?
Squirrel: Asshole...so anyways you better have a damn good excuse Vamp.
Vamp: I had to give Ocelot my...well I gave him the Count.
Squirrel:...what the hell...
Toto:...
Kansas:...
Vamp: Whered you come from?
Kansas: Kitchen.
Vamp:...
Squirrel: So you gave him the only thing keeping you in my house?
Vamp: I thought you liked my company?
Squirrel: No, It was the sex.
Toto: what?
Squirrel: I mean the checkers...he's a darn good checkers player
Kansas: Right...
Squirrel: Wait! you know how liquid used to be able to control Ocelot before he took that Midol stuff?
Vamp: Yeah
Squirrel: Maybe you can do the same thing,and we can find out what there doing!
Kansas: Why not just read the story?
Squirrel:No,No. That'd be too easy.
Oh yeah, Otacon shot a Policeman
Raiden: Otacon!
Fatman: Oh My God!
Johnny: FUCK!
Otacon: Thats really getting old Johnny, get a gun..im tired of running.
Officer 2: Freeze all of you!
(Otacon throws a flash grenade, and the gang runs)
The Summerhome
(Ocelot walks in)
Ocelot: Hey guys. I thought the Cobras were coming?
Snake: They just left, my dad, The Boss and The Sorrow stayed.
Ocelot: I see
Liquid: Where the hell have you been?
Ocelot: Oh um...nowhere
Solidus: He lost his wang and had to have a transplant.
Ocelot: How the hell do you know?
Solidus: I read it.
Snake: Wow that joke is really getting old.
Big Boss: Ocelot! How's it going
Sorrow: Son!
Ocelot: What?
Sorrow: ...Of a bitch...I stubbed my toe
Ocelot: Oh.
(Otacon and the gang bust down the door)
Otacon: Guys we have to get out of here.
Snake: Why?
Police Over Loudspeaker: We have you surrounded!
Snake: Dammit Otacon!
Solidus: Well we're all wanted for this...there's a secret exit under the summerhome..we can escape
Snake: Now it sounds like Metal Gear!
Big Boss: Me,Boss,and Sorrow are innocent...we'll stay here.
Snake: Thanks dad.
(The gang escapes)
Big Boss: Whew...now there safe.
(They come out of the tunnel beside the freeway)
Snake: We need to split up...Ocelot,Liquid,Solidus..you're with me.Otacon you take Raiden,Fatman,and Johnny.
Otacon: You bastard...I got the freaks.
Snake: There your people, Otacon, and besides, I have Ocelot
Otacon: Fuck You.
Snake: Than it's settled.
(Snake's crew gets into the van, and leaves)
Otacon: Wait, what do we take?
(Otacon's crew gets into the BMW just sitting there)
(Otacon starts the car, and floor's the gas, but immediately wrecks into a tree.)
Johnny: Wow! isn't that a misfortune...
(Everyone stares)
Johnny: What...oh yeah...DAMNIT!
Raiden: Okay W.T.F. man? W.T.F...
Otacon: I should've mentioned that I don't have my driver's license.
Fatman: I'm gonna shove C4 down Johnny's throat, and then have a public viewing of Otacon doing his step mother.
Johnny: Why me?
Fatman: I was getting lucky last night, and you fucked it up with your whole charade...and now the cops are gonna catch us because the dipshit rocket scientist here can't drive a fucking car. Now what are we gonna take?
(They see a playground near by, with a gang of 5 year olds with tricycles and candy)
Otacon: Well, I can't drive a car, but you can bet your ass I can ride a tricycle. Instead of a car for my 16th birthday, I got one of those.
Raiden: Wait a second back it up, you did your mom? And you rode around on a tricycle when you were 16? You must've been popular.
Otacon: She seduced me! And I come from a poor family for your information. By the way didn't you use that same joke in chapter one Raiden?
Raiden: Damn you read that?
Otacon: I was in it…point is..I was poor
Johnny: That's what they all say. It never works though, I said that when I got in trouble for trying to buy a hooker dressed in a police uniform, which just so happened to be a cop.
Fatman: You are by far the dumbest person I've ever encountered.
Otacon: Let's beat the shit out of those kids and steal their phat rides before they go.
(Otacon and his crew beat the youngsters senseless, Fatman takes and eats their candy, and they all get on the "phat rides" and begin to take off. But then, as Fatman gets on, the back wheels snap and the tricycle collapses)
Fatman: Maybe I shouldn't have eaten all of those king sized butterfingers and gummy bears.
Raiden: What will you ride now?
Johnny: There is a red wagon on the back of mine, he can ride in it!
Otacon: Good idea, for once, smart thinking Johnny.
(Fatman gets in the wagon, and Johnny strains to pedal, but can't, and the red wagon collapses)
Johnny: FUCK
Fatman: Give it a rest Johnny, we know you're faking
Johnny: Now I wasn't faking having a mental problem, I was just angry
Fatman: Oh, well fuck it, I'll just skate along with you guys.
(Wheels pop out of the bottom of Fatman's shoes, and he takes off.)
Otacon:...
Raiden: W.T.F man.
Otacon: What is with you and that?
Raiden: I'm one of those preppy teens with long hair and do nothing but talk on my cell phone and instant messanger all day. It's my role to say some overused acronyms.
Otacon: Right...
(So they pedal to Otacon's boat-house to lay low for a while.)
Meanwhile, with Snake's crew
Liquid: Ok, Raiden just im'ed me, then called me while we were chatting.
Snake: What'd he say?
Liquid: Apparently Rose is being a bitch...and their gonna lay low at Otacons house boat.
Ocelot: Does he have keys?
Liquid: Hold on...He replied...oh shit.