Ta for the reviews, they're always good
Kate's shooting of Locke had taken Sawyer by quite a lot of surprise. He knew she'd killed someone, but he'd seen the look on her face when she talked about, so much pain that it was overwhelming. But when she shot Locke, there was nothing, no worry, no pain, no reaction at all. She may as well have tossed him a mango as shot him in the leg. Whilst Sawyer knew that she was capable of pulling the trigger, he expected a little more guilt from her.
Even so, he kept his arm around her, needing to feel her, even if she couldn't feel anything at all. That Locke had betrayed them he didn't doubt. Locke had his own agenda, he always had done. Life was not something that counted to him, and selling people out to stay here was something Sawyer could very well see him doing. But he couldn't feel anger at Locke, it was just something that he had done. There had been no vindictiveness in it, it was just a matter of survival. Instead, Sawyer felt numb, cold. He was looking at Kate for the first time, seeing who she really was. She would kill for her own survival, and Locke was right, he had underestimated her.
Kate, on the other hand, had had enough of his silent examination. "Just go Sawyer," she muttered with just a touch of anger, shrugging his arm off.
Seeing the hostility in her pose, Sawyer cut of his sarcastic reflex, instead asking, "What are you talking about?"
"You found your 'pretty girl', but she's got a penchant for shooting people that freaks you out." Shaking her head, surprised at the anger that was burning inside her, she tried to calm her voice. "Just go Sawyer. It's fine." She looked at him, daring him to defy her. Seeing her anger, Sawyer said nothing, keeping her eyes with hers, watching as the angry façade that she was using to protect herself faded. "You didn't hear him Sawyer. He told them everything, anything that he could think of to hurt us. He told them that Jack was lying about me. He told them that you shot the Marshal," Kate didn't noticed Sawyer start at this, she was keeping her eyes as far away as possible from his, afraid of his response as she whispered, "He told them they could use you to get me."
Sawyer swore to himself. He'd dealt with that situation superbly. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her into a hug, resting his head on hers for a moment. "It's ok. The git got what he deserved." With a smile, he added, "You're awfully good with that gun Freckles."
She glanced at it, a comforting weight in her hand, the metal warmed by her touch, smeared with her sweat. It was as much a part of her as her arms were, something she knew, something she could trust. With so much effort that it frightened her, she placed the gun into his palm, closing his fingers around it. Looking at him directly, she whispered, "I never wanted to be. I never wanted any of this."
Sawyer found that he couldn't hold her gaze, the raw honesty and pain in it was too much for him. He slid the gun into his pocket, the warmth of her touch that lingered on it burning into his leg. "Lets get out of here."
Sawyer dipped underneath a low hanging branch, waiting for Kate to follow him. Instead, she was staring intently at a muddy patch of earth, created by the steady drip of water running off a rocky outcropping. "Sawyer, take your clothes off." She dropped her backpack onto the ground, reaching to take the shirt she had on over her top off.
"Excuse me?" Sawyer stared at her aghast for a moment, annoyed partly by the look of irritation on Kate's face. "You know I'm happy to oblige Freckles, but d'ya think that this might not be the best time in the world?"
Kate smiled, a real smile, one that reached her eyes, "You turning me down Sawyer?" She moved herself a touch closer to him, enjoying the moment far more than she would ever admit. Watching him squirm, she saved him from answering by letting him in on what she was really thinking. "They've got a sniffer dog. We need to hide our scent."
She continued to take her shirt off, wincing as the dark material ripped at the gash in her arm. When she pulled her arm out, she uttered a gasp. Blood was streaked all over it, her skin taking on a reddish-brown colour that could not be healthy. Blood poured freely from her arm. She'd done a better job with that knife than she had intended. Somehow, the agonising pulses of pain that had been coursing through her arm since she'd ripped her arm open seemed to intensify, as if her awareness made it worse.
"Kate," her name from his mouth made her start, the word sounded unfamiliar, and yet, it sounded right, distracting her for a moment from the pain. How could one word be full of so much emotion, lust, fear, guilt, everything that made up Sawyer tumbled out in that one word. "What happened?" He was next to her in a second, his hands incredibly gentle for all their strength as they took her arm.
"Guess I'm not as good with a knife as I am with a gun." Her words were supposed to sound light, supposed to hide her pain. Instead, they were filled with, mixed with a healthy dose of fear and self-derision.
"You did this?" Disbelief was evident all over him, how could she have possibly have done this, it was too deep, too painful. She nodded briefly, not looking at him, letting strands of her hair fall across her face, providing scant protection against him.
She removed her arm from his grasp a little too violently, unable to hide the pain that flickered across her face. Ignoring his reaction, she went to remove the rest of her clothing.
"You can't put mud on this, it'll get infected." There was genuine concern in his voice that moved her.
"You the doctor now?" Aggression was a safe response for her, she knew where she was with that.
He just looked at her, forcing her to drop her barriers. She hated that he could see inside of her so easily. "I can't let them catch me Sawyer, I can't go back to that. You don't know what it's like, always being afraid, living in a cage you can't get out of. I can't do that again." He didn't think she was talking about prison, but he didn't say anything, he knew what it was to be afraid.
"We'll get out of this Kate, we will, we'll just find another way." Kate wanted to protest, not believing that there was another way, but something in his eyes warned against it.
"Well isn't this sweet, Katie's got a new friend." A harsh, derisive voice cut through the atmosphere, breaking Kate's fragile sense of safety. In a second she had the gun from Sawyer's pocket in her hand, pointed at the marshal.
"Now I wouldn't do that Katie, it would be such a shame if another one of your boyfriends died, wouldn't it." An unconscious and bleeding Jack was dumped on the floor, the Marshal's gun tracing his jawbone lightly. "So, are you going to put that gun down?"