Hey all! Sorry it took so long again! Classes, lol! Anyway, once again, thnx to all the peeps that revewed me. i will try to wrk in every1's requests! I LUV U ALL!

oooOOOoooOOOooo (HEe, I sw this in a Bleach fic and it looked like weird o.O smileys so I thout I'd use it.) oooOOOoooOOO

CHAPTER BEGIN!

If they had thought that the funeral had been bad, the wedding that followed was much worse. Minako didn't even know any of the people around her, except for the three remaining Senshi of course, and she was wishing she didn't know them either. Usagi was furiously bawling her eyes out--huge rivers of tears streaming down limpid cheeks--and no one could figure out why. She had just sat down in some strangers' wedding and started to weep and wail, almost drowning out the preacher with her shrieks of terrible. Rei and Ami had resorted to snogging quietly in the corner for to escape their surroundings, but Minako was not so lucky.

Minako strained to hear the service over Usagi's elegantly piercing voise. "...speak now of forever hold their paece."

They were looking for objections. Well she could help there. She had lots of objections. To all sorts of things. She could object all day long if she needed to. "I have plenty of objections," she said aloud, announcing that she had objecitons to everyone around her.

No one paid attention to her as the preacher slammed his gavel down, giving out the second call for objections. Minako threw Luna at the couple up on the platform, quickly sending Usagi into new gales of mournful screeching. "I've got some objections!" she yelled loudly; her taught thighs springing her to her feet. "You do." Asked the preacher, with a shockingly suprised look.

"I have a lot of objections," she confirmed confidently.

"Well you can't!" protested the preacher.

"WHy not?" queried Minako.

"Because I'm the fucking Pope!" He growled.

And so he was. Pope Benedict XVI's eyes shown like deep pools of emerald sea-green, his shock of short white hair glowed under his hat like a white glowign thing, a brilliant beacon of perfection. His wrinkled skin glowed with a healthy, exotic glow that was unusual for someone so old. There was an ephemeral, wild, sexy quality in the air about him, an air that said "I am a dangerous man who might bite off your ear if you don't watch me." It toook Minako's breath away to be so close to him, and even Usagi's weeping became soft and tremulous by the force of his mightiness.

His clothing was befitting of a man of his colossal standing. His cloths and robes were embroidered with delicate and intricate patterns than set off his hair and skin beautifully, and brought out his eyes that they glimmered wherever he looked. The interwoven colour schemes gave a overall snappy impression that would have done a gay Nazi proud, and his shoes were a bright and gaily garish red, but not in a bad way. He was simply too awesome for the tackiness of any colour to overwhelm the radience that his physique and impeccable taste deployed.

He growled once more, a melodiously effluous noise emenating from deep in his throat. It is a growl that spoke of age and wisdom and hidden power. "Go Vatican Ninjas!" he quipped blithely.

SCENE BREAK!

And so Minako walked home, dragging Usagi by one foot as she loudly dehydrated herself, Rei bringing up the rear with Ami clinging affectionately to her arm. It had was a miracle that they had survived the last scene. So many things had happened, she didn't know where to begin to order them in her brain so they would make sense. In the end it had all worked out though. The zombies had been viciously beaten back and they had recieved a blessing from both popes.

But the zombies were still out there, lead by the connivingly evil rogue ninja Furtimus. Minako stopped in the road as she walked and shook her fist at the sky, cursing evil fortune. Rei and Ami squeaked in surprise and ran into her back at her sudden stop, trodding upon Usagi, increasing the volume of her piteous creeling. A cold wind blows. The leaves rustle in the trees. The walls scream.

Well, in any case, the senshi were walking home. Not to any one home, since they didn't live together, but they didn't want to walk home alone, since of all the zombies still on the loose. They all still remembered what happened last time they tried that...

FLASHBACK!

Ami ran as fast as she could away from her stalker, her heart thumping loudly in her chest like a steady pulsing light in a cave of the sort that would be compared to a beating heart. She had been folloed for longer than she could remember now, through the dark streets of the normally very bright and cosmopolitan Toukyou. But her stalker knew dark and semi-deserted streets, and herded her effectively by slowly walking behind her, steering her into every obstacle and transsexual prostitute in the city by the overwhelming power of its very being.

But then she was teh saved! dARK FIGURES JUmped out of the nearby dark alley and beset the stalking shadow, throwing it to the paverment with a grunch and messily tearing its flesh from its skin. Ami decided to go and thank the dark figures. She didn't know they were evil too! So she was very suprised when instead of saying your welcome they jumped up from the steaming corpse and savagely bit her!

Jerking back from the zombies, Ami ran away very fast, and did not stop till she was securely home. I terhw tihs snetecne in jsut to fcuk wtih pelpoe.

END FLASHBACK!

Minako blinked, fluttering her eyelashes femininely. She didn't remember Ami getting bitten the zombies. Looking back behind her she eyed her sapphire-haired friend, trying to find any difference in her from before that fateful night. Ami looked back at her from where she was nibbling on Rei's ear.

"Ami... are you okay?"

Ami pondered the question. "A little chilly, why?"

Minako frowned. The leather bustier Ami was wearing wouldn't keep the heat in well, so there wasn't anything out of the ordinary about her being chilly. Maybe she was just being paranoid. Her nerves were on edge anyway, scarped raw by the knife-like keening emenating from the future Princess of the Moon.

The three remaining sailor scouts decided to drown Usagi in a pool of melted ice cream before any of them developed a brain tumour having to listen to her.

SCENE BREAK!

Minako entered into that one room in the Hikawa Cherry Shrine that the senshi used to talk and hang out. She had of course meant to go home, but the zombies and all made her nervous, especiouslly with what happened to Ami. Minako still got the feeling that something more had happened to her than she admited to, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was, and Ami herself had disappeared while Minako was off getting snacks leaving the room empty except for a glassy-eyed Rei sitting at the table.

Seating herself across from Rei, Minako munches angrily on her crisps. Nothing in her life makes sense anymore, it was all devolving into a werid and confused blur with inconvenient breaks at important moments. She glared angrily at where Rei was sitting across from her. Rei was being no help at all, just sitting there blankly.

Her angry thoughts were interrupted by Darien lightly breezing into the room, taking his seat primly at the table. "I heard you drowned the whore," he beamed at Minako and Rei, "That is so fabulous!"

Minako's eyes widened in shock. Darien was dressed in one of Usagi's old Princess dresses and wearing more makeup than a noh actor.

He continued breezily, "Now I may finally cast off these lies of destiny and embrace my dreams!" Placing his hand at one side of his mouth he laughs. "OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Minako twitched. Rei just stared.

"Darien," Minako said slowly. "You loved Usagi."

Darien scoffed haughtily. "I only pretended to because I was afraid of revealing my true self! Nowthat she is out of the picture I may embrace the true me!" He gave another shrieky laugh. "Now I must go find my true love so that we may have babies!" His eyes turned to hearts. "Motherhood!"

Minako twitched again. "You're a guy Darien. You cant have babies, you don't have a uterus."

Darien broke down into tears, sobbing mightily on the table. "You just want to deny me the joys of breastfeeding!"

Minako was speechless at that, but was saved from answering by the long moan coming from Rei. Jumping to her feet Minako prepared to kill the zombie Rei had turned into, only to realise that Rei wasn't acting like a zombie. Her eyes had closed and she was gripping the table fiercely, her breath coming to her raggedly. A few seconds later Ami popped up from under the table and took her seat in Rei's lap.

"What'd I miss?"

"Darien's gay." Minako added after thinking for a moment "And retarded."

Ami shook her finger at Darien. "You know God hates fags."

Darien sputtered, weeping graciously even more. "But you were just fagging it up under the table!"

"That's different." Ami rummaged around in her cleavage, producing a PDA, three litres of vegetable oil and Rei's panties before triumphantly flourishing a thick vellum letter, inscribed with glowing runes and dripping with effluence. "I have a letter of permission signed by all three popes saying I'm excused from being a decent human being."

SCENE BREAK!

"Ami-sama?"

"Yes Rei?"

"Where are we?"

"I can't tell, I can't see anything."

"I can't either."

"Fuck! Who is that? Rei?"

"No, I'm Minako, Rei is somewhere that way."

"Which way?"

"That way! I'm trying to point."

"Ami-sama, I'm scared."

"I'd comfort you but I can't seem to do anything."

"Was that sarcasm?"

"I'd say yes, but I can't tell. I can't seem to make anything out except our words."

"Strange, everything was overly described earlier."

"There is nothing to fear my children."

"FUCK! Who's this?"

"Pope Gregory I, the Great you know. But as I was saying, fear not my children, I and my three colleagues are working on the situation. The author just realised he is not being paid by the adverb and is revolting in protest."

"..."

"Oh."

"I thought he was always revolting."

SCENE BREAK!

Minako wept harsh and mercifully quiet tears. Who would have thought it would have come to this? With his zombie hordes defeated, the rogue ninja Furtimus had gone too far! Had it not been enough that he had taken Minako's eye? While the cool sexiness the eyepatch had given her was indeed a selling point, she was Japanese dammit and could never rise above her culture! The facial disfiguration had nearly driven her to comit harakiri!!! And she was now too sexy for her own good and Ami had been giving her appraising looks for some time now.

But now Furtimus had gone too far! In his madness and hatred of all things sugary and good he had brought great and terrible evil into the world. Vile and wretchedly evil rituals he had performed, bringing life to the his finest and most dastardly creation... Giant Ultraman!

The remaining sailor Scouts had been powerless to stop Giant Ultraman. He was simply too big for Mars, Mercury and Venus to handle alone! Minako suspected Ami and Rei had given up already, or so Ami had implied when she had declared "Fuck this!" and stormed off into an adult shop, tugging Rei behind her by her leash.

That had left Venus alone to fight off Giant Ultraman, alone save Darien, who had nearly faded into the background of the dramatic standoff, enthusiastically violating his own anus with a pinecone and crying out for Motoki to come and make him a mother.

But then, just when things looked their bleakest for Sailor V, out of the shadows jumped help! Clad in the Papal colour-coded amrour came the four popes! Pope Sylvester III, in the brilliant green of the wilds whence he came! Pope Gregory I (the Great) in blue, mighty warrior and not at all the one who fixed the calander! Pope Innocent III in yellow, with Crusade launching action! And Pope Benedict XVI in red, and not at all a Nazi!

But though they battled long and hard against Giant Ultraman, it all seemed to be in vain. Even with the help of Minako, Giant Ultraman was still simply too great to defeat, powered by the souls of the innocents and the final death wish of the mad ninja-monk Furtimus.

But then, just when things looked their bleakest for Sailor V, help came once more! The ground rumbled and the sky shook, cracks opening in the earth and the twilight turning to brilliant red. Then suddenly the ground burst open and a hand shot out as Zombie Pope Saint Celestine V, resplendant in black armour, clawed his way out of the earth to join his comrades in battle!

"Vicars of Christ!" he yelled. "Do not lose heart, for we have Jesus on our side, and with his love we can never lose! The power of our love is great, and we will prevail if we do not forget that! Come now Pope Force Five! Let us even this battle!"

And the Popes cheered and posed and yelled in unison, "FORM MECHA JOHN PAUL II!"

And with a great rumble the robots of the Pope Force Five came flying all the way from their resting place in the sercet loading bay under Saint Peter's Basillica all teh way to Toukyou to form Mecha John Paul II.

And as Minako stared on in disbelief, the giant Pope robot prepared to do battle with Giant Ultraman.

CHAPTER END!