Chapter 10
I walk into the Mission. I'm late for the service, but luckily no one notices me. Sitting down in the back row of pews, I try not to make any noise.
"Giving," the new, young priest says, his voice shaking, "is very important. Being selfless is an important part of life." He stops, then adds, "very important," in an undertone.
I listen for the rest of the sermon, tolerating the young man's uncertainty. I knead my hands together, waiting for the service to come to a close. Finally, the end prayer comes and I bow my head, along with the rest of the congregation.
"Dear Dios," I say silently then stop. For a first, I don't have anything to say to God. Nothing seems to be looking up in my life. It all seems to have "gone to shit" as Susannah used to say to me.
Looking back up, I see that the rest of the congregation has left the church. I slip away from my pew with a silent "sorry", and then make my way over to the confessional box. Pulling open the door to the box, I look inside and realize that it's been a while since I had last confessed. I guess I had forgotten God, in the happiness I had felt when with Susannah. But now, Dios was making me pay for my forgetfulness. He had taken away Susannah; what else was there to take?
"I'm not sure of my last confession," I tell the priest, whose name I've forgotten. I curse myself silently for being so careless, and then slap myself mentally for cursing in church.
"It's okay, son," the priest says. "Tell me, what's bothering you?"
"Um," I begin, and then stop. Apparently, I'm rusty. "I've been having dreams," I blurt out.
"About what?"
"About inappropriate acts with other women than my girlfriend."
I heard the priest sigh. A sudden pang of guilt washes over me. "Well some could argue that that is only normal for a man of your age."
"But they are so real, and they've started coming only recently. Sometimes I wonder if, in my dream, I'm another person…"
"Five Hail Mary's for each dream." I nod my head, even though he can't see me through the screen. Sounds about right. "Is there more, my son?"
I pause for a moment and think. "Yes…"
"Go on."
"I'm having difficulties with my girlfriend. I went to D.C. for a trip for a week, and when I came back, she was distant. And when I confronted her, she told me that she was dating someone else. Beforehand she had been really worried about something like this happening, so it doesn't make sense that she would be the one to turn this way…" I end my rambling, immediately regretting bringing it up.
The priest is silent for a minute, as if contemplating my dilemma. When he doesn't say anything, I press him. "Father…?"
"Sorry, I, I don't really have much experience with women." The priest sighs.
I'm speechless and, well, embarrassed. I shouldn't have brought it up…
However, the priest rescues us from our awkward silence, "I think we're done now." I thank him and then leave without another word.
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I kneel in the back row of the pew for a while, saying over hundred Hail Mary's, to be on the safe side, since I haven't been really counting how many inappropriate dreams I've had. But for some reason I remember certain details from some of them. Like the way Susannah's hair had looked when she had been, well, cough, cough. And how the touch of one of the woman's flesh on mine had made my blood pound in my veins.
I sigh after about my fiftieth Hail Mary. I sit back in the pew and close my eyes, imagining Susannah's face in front of mine. She is smiling at me; here green eyes beckoning me to come to her. To kiss her full on the lips and take her hand in mine. In my imagination I lead her to my bedroom…
Opening my eyes the moment things begin to get inappropriate, I shake my head and rush out of the Mission. I am blushing with embarrassment, and all the novices that see me on my way out look at me curiously.
Once I find my way back to my car and onto the road, I sigh in relief. Somehow my car finds it's way to the Coffee Clutch. I don't know why, but I find myself inside and ordering a coffee in a matter of seconds from absently mindedly parking my car.
"Jesse?" I turn around at the sound of the uncertain voice. Bobbed white hair and purple irises greet me.
"CeeCee!" I say while almost dropping my coffee. "Oops." I put my coffee on a nearby table and turn once back to CeeCee. "Would you like to sit?"
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"Wow." This is all CeeCee has to say after I have told her what has happened with Susannah and I. "So you want me to do a little recon work?"
"I wouldn't necessarily put it that way per se…" I begin, but CeeCee cuts me off.
"She won't see me. David called me a couple nights ago and told me it was urgent that I come down, but when I went to see Suze, she wouldn't see me."
"I am so sorry CeeCee, I know how that must have felt," I say while putting a hand on her slender shoulder which is covered in a lavender sweater, which looks stunning on her.
"I had just thought she was in a bitchy mood, but from what you've told me, she sounds more like she is possessed more than anything…" CeeCee stops and then stares over my shoulder. I glance over it, but there's no one there. Carefully I take a sip of my coffee, which is still hot. "That's it!" CeeCee suddenly gasps in realization.
I just about pour hot coffee all down my shirt. "What? What? What is it, CeeCee?" I ask desperately after putting my coffee back down on the table, my curiosity rising.
"Why didn't I think of it before?" She mumbles to herself.
"Think of what?" I say almost through gritted teeth.
"I have to go!" Getting up, her chair falls onto the floor. "I'll call you later!" And without another word, CeeCee disappears with a white flash.
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"Is everything okay?" Kate asks me while I'm driving back to my house after getting some groceries. My mind has been on overload ever since CeeCee ran out of the Coffee Clutch. I need to know what she was thinking.
"I saw CeeCee today, in the Coffee Clutch…" I say while staring at the back end of the pick-up in front of me.
"I love that place!" Kate squeals, "They have the absolutely best cappuccinos ever!" I look over at her, sitting with her legs crossed in my passenger seat. "Sorry," she mumbles, "So what did this Cee-Cee person have to say?"
"I told her everything I knew and what had happened, and then she thought about it for a minute, and then she said she realized something, got up, and just left."
"Did she say anything else?"
"She said she would call me later…" I respond while slamming on my brakes.
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After cheating death, I drive home carefully and Kate helps me unpack my groceries. However she drops two of the eight bags, one of which that had eggs. I tell her it is perfectly fine, but she just sits down and begins to cry.
"I hate being a ghost," she wails while her shoulders heave and her breath comes ragged.
I kneel in front of her, unsure of what exactly to do. "I know you do."
"No you don't!" Kate looks at me, her eyes glistening with tears, tears that aren't real. "I do know. I know how much you unlike being a ghost, because I used to be one myself as well."
Kate snorts, "That's impossible Jesse."
"I beg to differ." Kate scoffs and then wipes her eyes clear of her salty, non-existent tears.
"Tell me," she says quietly.
"I was a ghost for about a hundred and fifty years before I met Susannah. I was killed in her bedroom, so I stayed there for most of my ghost-hood, not knowing where else that felt like home, if you will.
"When Susannah's family moved into the old boarding house I met Susannah, who could see me…I still remember what she looked like the first time I met her. She was beautiful, she still is, and the sun from the bay window I was sitting in front of was radiating her skin and chestnut hair, which fell to her shoulders in waves.
"From the moment I saw her, I knew that she was perfect in every way, but I never imagined that she would be able to see me. Once her mother showed her around her new and very pink room, Susannah looked over towards me sitting on the seat of the bay window and frowned.
""Who the hell are you?' she had said, or something of the like. I had glanced behind me, uncertain if she could really see me sitting there. But when I turned back, she was staring right at me. My heart jumped in my chest, someone could finally see me.
"After that moment, I felt like I was a whole other being. I was a ghost, but I didn't feel like a ghost. Susannah could see me, and other people too, like Father Dominic, God rest his soul." I pause for a moment in my recollection—giving Kate a chance to understand.
"After a while, a most wonderful time with Susannah, helping her fight her battles, Susannah found a way to go back in time and rescue me. She was under the impression that if she stopped my killer from finishing his act, that I would live a happier life alive, then as a ghost.
"Her mind and heart were in the right place, but fate had a different plan. I suppose we were destined to be together, because something happened, and Susannah had to shift out of my world and back into hers, with me in her arms.
"My ghost reconnected with my body that Susannah had brought back, and here I am…"
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After talking with Kate in great detail about my life and the like, she bid me good night and I took a long, hot shower. While stepping out of the shower, my foot slips on the tile floor and I fall on my back, my head nicking the corner of the counter.
There is fog around my ankles when I look down. When I look up, a starry night sky winks at me. I shake my head, not understanding where I am, but then I look around and see the hallway. The hallway lined with doors. Shadowland.
It is cold, and I wrap my expensive leather jacket around me tightly. Where is she? I rock on the balls of my feet to pass the time until she shows her face, the beautiful face that will be mine in time. She just needs to realize that I love her.
Finally, I see someone making his or her way through the fog. When the fog clears, green eyes pierce mine and I smirk. I knew she'd come.
There is a loud ringing and I sit up, instantly regretting it. Nombre de Dios! What the hell happened? I get up timidly and look at the back of my head in the mirror. There is a big gash, but it has stopped bleeding. I'll need to dress it soon, before it becomes infected, I think and then hiss as the shrill of the ringing comes back to haunt me. I look around and strain my ears. Then stupidly, I realize that it is the phone.
Carefully, I walk out of the bathroom and walk quickly into my bedroom, grabbing the phone.
"Jesse?"
"CeeCee!" I say happily and then cringe as my head pounds. "Uhh."
"You okay over there?"
"Yes, I just 'bumped' my head, if you will."
"Oof," CeeCee says sympathetically. She pauses for a minute and I prod her with a, "Well…?"
"Oh yeah," CeeCee apologizes quickly. There is a ruffle of papers in the background as she flips through a book. Then, and I can practically hear her smiling, CeeCee teases me. "So, I bet you are wondering why I'm calling…huh?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact I am."
"Well Mr. De Silva, I have some pretty intense news. You sittin' down?"
I lie, "Of course."
"IthinkSuzeisbeingpossessedbyademon."
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AN: Uh oh, what will happen next? (Hopefully this is the point in the story where my writing will get better…sorry about the last 9 chapters…they blew, I realize.)
And sorry for being absent, AP tests and now I have till July to find out just how stupid I really am…sigh
Thanks for reading!
Sarah