Hey everyone! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever! I had writer's block. And finals to study for. Oh, my computer crashed too.

Disclaimer: Ha ha. You're funny.

I love all my reviewers! You guys rock!

Woohoo! Storytime! Um... right.

All of a sudden, there was a flash of light that blinded me for a second.

"What the bloody hell?" screamed James.

Lily looked very angry. And a bit weird. She was trying to glare a hole through a bush.

Wait a minute. There's a freaky looking guy with bushy green hair hiding behind the bush.

That explains the glaring.

And what is he holding? It looks like some kind of silver box with lights.

"It's a Muggle camera, Gin," said Harry.

"Is that what they use to take pictures that don't move?" James asked.

Harry nodded.

The green-haired guy looked confused. "What's a Muggle?"

Crap.

There's a Muggle on our property.

That we don't know.

Taking pictures of us.

For no apparent reason.

This has James written all over it.

Lily thought so too.

"What did you do now?" she asked James in her quiet-but-deadly, if-you-don't-explain-yourself-right-now-your-death-will-be-a-lot-more-painful-than-I'm-planning voice.

That voice scares everyone.

I'll bet it could scare Voldemort. If he was, you know, still alive.

I can see it now: Voldemort cowers in a corner while Lily talks to him.

You now what? That is totally my version of how Voldemort died. He committed suicide because he was so afraid of Lily.

Anyway.

James gulped. "Lily, have I ever told you that you look adorable when you're angry?"

"Dad, didn't you say that exact same thing not even five minutes ago?" asked Harry.

"Dammit," said James.

"James," Lily said. "What did you do?"

"Um... It's a very weak love spell that I wanted to test. Don't worry! I know the countercurse!"

James pulled out his wand. "End-o spell-o," he said, pointing his wand at the weird guy.

And, of course, nothing happened.

Why am I not surprised?

"James," Lily said. "You don't know the countercurse, do you?"

"Um..."

All of a sudden, the weird guy saw me, screamed, "My love!", ran to me, and hugged me.

This isn't right. I wished for my life to be like Cinderella's without all the misery. If I remember correctly, Cinderella lived happily ever after as soon as she married her prince.

I married my prince already.

So what the hell happened to happily ever after?

"Get him off of me!" I screamed.

I thought this was a weak love spell. Even Malfoy didn't hug me.

James is so dead.

Which reminds me. If this guy doesn't stop hugging me soon, I'm gonna be dead. He's suffocating me.

Suddenly the guy stopped hugging me.

James looked pleased with himself. "I told you that End-o spell-o was the countercurse. It just takes a while to work."

The green-haired guy looked confused. "Um... Why was I just hugging you?"

"I don't know," I said. "Must have something to do with the fact that I'm so cute."

Conceited, yes. But maybe it'll make him go away.

"You're a very conceited person," the green-haired guy said.

"I'm not conceited. I am just honest," I said.

Is this working yet?

The green-haired guy laughed.

Crap.

My plan backfired. He seems to like conceited people.

"You're conceited, but you have good comebacks. Do you want to go on a date with me?"

Um, I don't think the countercurse worked that great.

"I'm married," I said.

The green-haired guy glared at me. "I hate it when people lie to me so that they don't hurt my feelings. How do you think I feel now?"

"But I am..."

"If you didn't want to go out with me, you could have just said so, instead of lying to me."

I turned to Harry for help.

"Um... she is married," he said.

"Yeah, right. And I'm the queen of England," the green-haired guy said.

"You are?" asked James.

Idiot.

"James, it's called sarcasm," Lily explained.

"Ohhhhhh!" he said.

"If you are married, where's your husband?" the green-haired guy asked.

I pointed to Harry. "He's my husband," I said.

The green-haired guy laughed. "Like you could get a guy like that," he said.

Hey! What's that supposed to mean!

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" asked Harry.

"I wasn't talking to you," green-haired guy said.

Uh-oh. He seems angry again.

"I will get my revenge on you! I don't know when and I don't know where, but when you least expect it, expect it."

I rolled my eyes.

That was so lame. I mean seriously. Revenge? Yeah, right. A Muggle's gonna get revenge on a witch.

I'd like to see that happen.

"You think it's stupid, girl?" green-haired guy asked. "Well, you'll curse the day you met Fat Bob."

Um, who the hell is Fat Bob?

"I'm Fat Bob," said the green-haired guy.

Um, what? He's not fat.

"It's one of those ironic nicknames," he explained. "You know, like if someone calls a midget Big Earl or something?"

Okay. That's just weird.

Fat Bob ran away.

You know, that was kinda lame. And telling us his name made him even less threatening.

Seriously, it's very hard to be afraid of someone named Fat Bob.

Then, Malfoy appeared again.

"I'll get him for threatening you, my love!" he said. "You don't have to be afraid, Ginerva! Although, I would be if some crazy guy was following me around."

He'd be afraid of a crazy guy following him around?

Weird. He doesn't seem to have a problem when it's him doing the stalking.

"The only thing you should be afraid of is what will happen to you if you keep stalking me," I said.

"I'm not stalking you," Malfoy claimed. "I'm trying to convince you to leave your loser husband and marry me!"

Okay. Did Malfoy, a guy that won't stop stalking me, just call Harry, the most wonderful husband on Earth, a loser?

"OWWWWWWW!" Malfoy screamed.

I lost control for a little while, but I'm good now.

And Malfoy looks better with a broken nose.

And he didn't scream something about his "beautiful" face getting messed up. He screamed "ow" like a normal person.

"I'll get you for that, Ginerva! I'll get revenge! And you know what! We're over!" Malfoy said.

Okay. He's starting to sound a little like Fat Bob.

"You'll curse the day you ever met Draco Lucius Malfoy!"

Okay. Now he sounds exactly like Fat Bob.

"When you least expect it, expect it."

Whoa. Major dèjá vu.

Malfoy ran away.

Well, that was interesting.

Now I have to worry about Malfoy and Fat Bob getting revenge.

Great.

Okay, everyone. You know you want to review. So just click that little button down there. Please?

Oh, I just remembered. If anyone has any ideas for something Ginny should do to Malfoy, tell me in a review. Cuz I got sick of the whole turning-his-hair-red-and-gold cuz I used it so many times. And the punching is getting boring.

Please review?

Love and kisses and pictures of Daniel Radcliffe,
Jessi