Okay, everyone. This is the last chapter. Which means all my stories will be finished. YAY!

IMPORTANT! SO READ THIS! I am getting a new account. I want to delete the stories that I wrote that completely suck, but for some reason, some people like them. So I'll leave them up. But, my good stories, the ones I actually like, will be deleted, edited, and reposted under my new penname, Shun-The-Nonbeliever. This includes Nothing Like A Fairy Tale and this story. This story will be left up for a while so people know about this change. I looked at all the rules and couldn't find anything about not being allowed to have multiple accounts. But I'm only going to use one, so it's not like it even matters. This should take place in the next few days.

I'm sorry to anyone that likes President Bush. I had to take SOMEONE'S common sense away. I couldn't take common sense away from a dead guy. That wouldn't be nearly as funny. And I don't want to cause some kind of international incident by making fun of another country's leader. So I think I'll just make fun of MY country's leader...

This chapter is dedicated to both Emmski and Rubber-duckiesofdoom. They are the only ones that reviewed to the last chapter. Thanks you guys!

Now for the story! YAY! STORY!

Holy crap. The border thing-ys work for once.

Um... right. On with the story!

"Dammit, Malfoy," I said. "I'm not going to marry you!"

"Yes, you are," he replied.

"What makes you so goddamn sure that I will?"

Malfoy smirked at me. "Because," he said evilly. "If you don't, I'll kill your husband."

WHAT? He's going to kill Harry? What the hell is wrong with him?

Ginny! Do you want your baby to use that kind of language?

Uh, this is my subconscious, right? What the hell are you talking about?

Don't tell me you forgot! You're pregnant!

Uh, yeah. I totally knew that.

Liar. If you had remembered, you wouldn't be acting so recklessly.

Um, how the hell can you forget you're pregnant? It's kinda hard. Cuz, you know, every time you get up to walk around, you're got all this dead weight right around your middle. If you didn't forget, you'd definitely remember in a hurry.

Um, you do realize, you haven't put on any weight yet? You've only been pregnant for a little while.

So?

Don't argue with me! I'm your subconscious! I know all!

I'm telling you, I did not forget.

I know you didn't. But the author wanted me to make sure everyone else remembered. It has been a while since she updated, you know.

What the hell are you talking about?

Oh, look at the time. I gotta go. See ya.

Um, am I the only one that has conversations with my subconscious?

Really, really weird conversations that make me start to doubt my sanity?

But anyway, back to the current situation. What is wrong with Malfoy?

"There's nothing wrong with me, my dear Ginerva," Malfoy said.

Damn. Was I thinking out loud again?

Now, now, Ginny, darling. Watch your language. What kind of example are you setting for your baby?

Who the hell are you? You don't sound like my subconscious.

Your subconscious is boring. The reviewers aren't too pleased with your subconscious, you know.

Why does everyone keep telling me about authors and reviewers?

We're not allowed to tell you that. The author has forbidden it.

WHAT author? And how does the author know me?

The author knows all. That's all I can tell you.

The author knows almost as much as the Oracle.

Um, okay. Who are you?

I am your common sense, darling.

But my subconscious said that my common sense retired sometime before I married Harry.

He did. I'm the replacement, darling. The mess your in, you're going to need all the help you can get.

You know, I used to be George W. Bush's common sense? You know, president of the United States?

If you used to be his common sense, what is he using now?

Oh, darling, I'm not too sure. I retired when he was about ten.

Um, okay. Good to know.

And so you don't get TOO mad at your subconscious, I'm the one making you think out loud again.

WHAT? I thought you were my COMMON SENSE! Not the LET'S-RUIN-GINNY'S-LIFE GENE!

So I lied. I thought it might make you feel better.

"Ginerva, my dear? Are you all right? You seem to be having a conversation with yourself. I'm not sure that's healthy, but it IS hilarious," Malfoy said.

And this guy thinks he loves me? Normally when you love someone, you CARE about them! You don't think it's funny when they act like they've lost any sanity they may have once possessed!

Malfoy was spared from my fist when Fat Bob and Big Earl dragged in Lily.

Yes, dragged. She was struggling with them and everything.

Now, Lily's pretty strong, but not so strong that she can take down two dudes with her legs tied together and her hands tied behind her back.

They even gagged her!

What the hell is wrong with these people?

"Let her go!" I screamed.

Malfoy smirked at me. "Ginerva, I know I said that the Mudblood here could be your Maid of Honor, but I'm afraid I changed my mind. See, I don't want a Potter to have anything to do with my wedding. You can either marry me right here and now, or watch your precious ex-mother-in-law die a slow and painful death."

Okay. What is wrong with this guy?

First of all, I am a Potter. If he doesn't want a Potter to have anything to do with his precious wedding, then he shouldn't be marrying me.

And what the hell is talking about? Ex-mother-in-law? I didn't get a divorce and Harry's not dead!

But after I pointed these things out to him, he just laughed. "Details, details. Marry me now, or watch her die."

Well, what choice do I have? Lily's not exactly alive, but I know she can feel pain. She can do anything a normal person can do, with the exception of dying.

If Malfoy tries to kill Lily, it won't work. But it will cause her a hell of a lot of pain.

So, I'm screwed. Marry him, and live a horrible life.

Or refuse to marry him, live a horrible life, and be forced to watch my family get tortured.

Either way, my life will suck. I'm not dragging Lily into this too.

"I... I will... I'll ma... marry... you," I said, choking on the words.

"Ginny!" Lily said. "What is wrong with you?"

"I have to," I told her. "I'm sorry..."

I trailed off. Was it just my imagination, or did I just hear someone scream the words "HARRY! LOOK! IT'S AN OWL! HOLY GUACAMOLE, IT'S AN ACTUAL OWL!"

I looked at Lily to see if she heard it too.

A faint smile was appearing on her face.

So it wasn't just my imagination.

I looked at Malfoy. He appeared to be extremely interested in a Muggle invention that Fat Bob and Big Earl were showing him. An iPot or a uPod? Or something like that?

Man, the guy's so anxious to marry me, but forgets about me after someone shows him a stupid Muggle invention that he claims to hate?

Hey! That 'stupid Muggle invention' is an iPod! ONLY the greatest invention to grace human civilization!

Well, whatever it was, it made noise and Malfoy was sticking the things that made noise into his ears.

Hey, I wasn't gonna ask. He was almost deaf while listening to the noise, so I knew he wouldn't hear the people coming.

I just hoped the people coming were Harry and James.

"YAY! IMMATURITY IS THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING!"

If that wasn't James, then someone does a really good impression of him.

"DAD! WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE QUIET, SO WE CAN GET MUM AND GIN!"

"YOU'RE MAKING MORE NOISE THAN ME!"

"JUST BE QUIET! PLEASE!"

I would've laughed, but that would've blown their cover.

But really, I'm surprised they haven't been caught yet. They're SCREAMING at each other to be quiet.

How ironic is that?

Suddenly, something crashed into the door.

"OWWWWW!"

I looked at Malfoy quickly. He was still absorbed in the uPod.

It's an iPod, you idiot!

Whatever.

Fat Bob and Big Earl were fast asleep.

"DAD! YOU OPEN THE DOOR! DON'T TRY TO WALK THROUGH IT!"

Next to me, Lily was trying to not to laugh. Thankfully, she was succeeding.

The door opened. In walked Harry and James.

"Finally," I muttered.

Harry pretended to be hurt. "We come all this way to save you, and all you say is 'finally'? You're so nice, Gin."

"Just get these damn chains off of me," I said.

Harry laughed and waved his wand. The chains disappeared.

I stared. "How did you do that? I've been trying that for hours!"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know."

Next to me, James had finished untying Lily. He helped her up and started kissing her.

"Ew," I said, turning away.

"No amount of therapy will ever make this moment okay," Harry said as he looked away and helped me up.

And then he kissed me.

Which was, you know, very nice.

Until Malfoy finally realized that he had some extra company. Which took him a lot longer than it should have.

"Why are you kissing MY fiancée?" he screamed at Harry.

I sighed and pulled out my wand.

"Draco, Draco, Draco," I said as I walked towards him. "You've been a very bad boy."

Then I hexed him. Bat-Bogey Hex, of course.

"NO!" he yelled. "MY LOVE! YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!"

Then James seemed to remember something.

"Oh, right!" he said. "I have to do the countercurse!"

He turned to Malfoy and said, "End-o spell-o."

"Are you sure that's gonna work, Dad?" Harry asked.

"Hey! It worked last time! Remember?"

And James was right. It was working.

Malfoy glared at us as evilly as someone can when they have bogies flying around their head. "Get the hell out of my house, you filthy Mudbloods and blood traitors."

We were more than happy to comply.

And then, finally, after all the crap we went through lived happily ever after.

So? Did you like it?

Read and review, cuz even if I am gonna delete this story, I still want to know if it was any good.

And remember, anyone that likes my writing for some unknown reason: Shun-The-Nonbeliever. There's a link in my profile.

Adios, people!