A/N – A huge 'Thank You!' to everyone for the awesome reviews and encouragement!! It keeps a writer going :-)

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Chapter 3 - Retrograde

Bobby was just getting out of his car and she caught him in her headlights as she pulled into the parking lot at Bailey's. From the outside, it still seemed to be a nice place – one of those shiny, aluminum-clad diners that served good home-style cooking and even better coffee. He spotted her car and stood by the entrance waiting for her.

It was a chilly night and Alex tucked her hands in her jacket pockets as she walked toward him. He'd changed from his suit into jeans, a sweater, and a denim jacket. She'd always had a hard time deciding if she preferred suit-and-tie-Bobby, or casual-Bobby in his snug jeans. The man just looked good no matter what.

They were smiling nervously at one another and when she stopped to stand directly in front of him, Bobby's smile broke into a grin. Once again, he wrapped his arms around her and drew her into his warmth, only this time there was no pulling back. They stood that way for the longest time – Bobby rubbing his chin back and forth on the top of her head while Alex smoothed her hand along his back beneath his jacket. She sighed in contentment and Bobby quietly hummed in agreement.

"Thank you for coming," he murmured into her hair.

She smiled against his sweater. "My pleasure."

Finally, they drew apart to head into the diner. Bobby kept his hand at the small of her back as he held the door, escorted her in, and then followed her to an open booth – removing his hand only when it was time to sit down.

Their waitress, Mary according to the pin on her uniform, was quick to greet them. Bobby waved off the proffered menus. "Two coffees, please."

"Would you like a piece of pie with that? Lemon meringue is our specialty," Mary smiled warmly at Bobby.

"Uh…" he looked at Alex and she shrugged. "One slice, two forks. Thanks," he smiled back.

"You got it, handsome." Mary tucked her pen behind her ear and headed off behind the counter to get their coffees and pie.

Alex raised an eyebrow at him. "Still making conquests, I see."

Bobby ran his fingers through his hair in embarrassment then clasped his hands on the table in front of him. "She's just hoping for a big tip."

"Uh huh." Alex wasn't convinced. Sliding her jacket off her shoulders, she looked around the familiar diner. "This is still a nice place, huh?"

"Yeah. It's been a couple of years since I ate here, but the food was still good then."

Alex saw the waitress approaching with their order and a spark of mischief bloomed. She waited until Mary was about five feet behind Bobby's shoulder then leaned in close over the table.

"Bobby, you know it's your turn to have the kids this weekend." His eyes and mouth opened wide and Alex once again reveled in the element of surprise. "Bobby Junior and Charlie both have soccer games on Saturday and you never go anymore. And Kim and Cathy…well they just want to spend more time with you." She kept talking before he had a chance to question or protest, but when Mary came up beside them, Bobby smirked as he caught on to her game. "Since you left, they've been acting out and I just don't know what I'm going to do with them." Alex sat back in the booth and looked up at Mary as she placed her coffee in front of her. "Thank you," she said in a tired-sounding voice.

"Just let me know if you need anything," Mary nodded in sympathy at Alex then turned on her heel and left.

Bobby ducked his head to rub at the back of his neck and brought his eyes up to hers. "You're a wicked woman."

Alex chuckled and squirmed a little in her seat. "That was fun," she grinned. "Pass the sugar, please."

He shook his head in resignation before sliding the sugar toward her. "You still taking five packets?"

"No, I've cut down to four," she announced triumphantly. Grabbing four packets at once and shaking them to move the granules away from the seam, Alex knew the time had come for real conversation. "So, tell me…what's it like being a businessman?" She'd of course kept up with what was going on his life, just as she knew he occasionally asked around about her.

"It's…good. Different," he answered vaguely.

"Do you find it satisfying?"

"It's not…unsatisfying."

"That's not exactly the same thing."

"No. It's not the same thing," Bobby conceded. Recognizing a stall tactic when she saw one, Alex silently watched as Bobby picked up his coffee, blew on it and took a few sips before continuing. "I still miss the Department. You know how much I enjoyed the work, but…" He set his coffee cup in its saucer and again clasped his hands on the table before finally meeting her gaze. "I had two different partners in the first three years after you left but it was never the same. Jimmy knew I was…struggling. He'd had this idea all along that sometime after retirement he wanted to open his own security company. When he called me…I knew it was time for a change."

"Jimmy," Alex shook her head. "I can't ever think of him as anything other than Captain, or Deakins."

Bobby smiled. "It's taken two years, but I think I've finally gotten used to it." He lifted his cup to his mouth and looked at her over the rim. "So, what brings you back to New York?"

Here we go. Using her own stall tactic, Alex picked up her spoon and stirred her already blended coffee. Sighing, she placed the spoon back on the edge of the saucer. "It was time," she spoke to her coffee cup. "Actually, past time. I never intended to stay away so long. But all of a sudden, one year became five," Alex shrugged and looked up at him. "After mom passed away, I knew I needed to move back and be near my family. It just took a little time to put everything in order."

"I was sorry to hear about your mom."

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"Did you get to spend some time with her? To say good-bye?" Ah, Bobby. Always the sensitive one, with exactly the right questions.

Alex nodded. "She had another stroke. I flew in." Her voice softened as her memories swirled. "We thought she might make it, but by the end of a week we knew we were going to lose her. We were all there just hours before she passed away, even the grandkids. She was awake and alert. It was a good day for her."

"Good." That one word spoke volumes. She knew Bobby understood.

"I…" Alex hesitated. This was all starting to hit raw nerves. "I thought you might be there that day…at her funeral. She thought the world of you, you know."

Bobby swallowed nervously and seemed to hesitate over what to say. "I was there," he said quietly. "At the cemetery." Alex thought that perhaps in that moment her heart actually stopped beating as her breath left her in a rush.

"I kept my distance and paid my respects after everyone left."

"Bobby…" she whispered. The image of him standing alone at her mother's graveside brought tears to her eyes.

"I, ah…I wasn't sure you'd want to see me. I didn't want to make it worse for you." Bobby reached across the table and took both her hands in his. "She was a wonderful woman, Alex. I had a lot of respect for her."

She could no longer hold back the tears that silently slipped from her eyes.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." He sounded upset himself as he squeezed her fingers.

This was getting to be too much. Alex felt as though she was choking on emotions. Whether Mary noticed she was crying or her timing was just right, she chose that moment to refill their cups. Alex pulled her hands from Bobby's and turned her face toward the window, swiping at the tears on her cheeks. She waited for the waitress to leave before facing back to Bobby.

"You know I moved to Chicago to get away from New York," her voice was tight and shaking. "I didn't leave you…not really. It just turned out that way." This was so hard to explain. "There was…too much at one time. Jo Gage, Wisnesky, your mom."

"My mom's cancer." Bobby looked down at his hands and splayed his fingers on the tabletop. "That was the final blow, wasn't it? I was so wrapped up in my loss. I wasn't there for you…when I should have been."

"No, Bobby…neither of us was there for the other. We were walking wounded with barely enough strength for ourselves. There was nothing left for another person."

"For months after, I kept thinking there was…something more I should have done," his eyes met hers and she couldn't remember ever seeing him so anguished. "Something more we should have done. We just…let go."

"We were only making it worse for each other. We needed to let go, Bobby…to heal." Alex reached back across the table to take his hand in hers. "I could never have had this conversation with you five years ago."

He sighed and Alex wondered if it was possible to see acceptance and regret all at the same time in one person's eyes.

"And now you're back," Bobby again squeezed her fingers then pulled his hand from hers to pick up his coffee. "What are your plans?"

"I've applied at the Police Academy for an instructor position," Alex was relieved to talk about a less emotional topic – looking to the future instead of feeling the past. "Hopefully my experience at the Chicago Academy will help."

"And your background with NYPD," Bobby said emphatically. "You know, Jimmy will help you any way he can."

"I already gave them his name as a reference. I'm pretty confident, actually."

"You should be," he encouraged her with a nod. He was studying her and Alex wished she knew what it was he saw, what he was thinking. Giving her no further clue, Bobby finally picked up his fork to try the lemon meringue. "Mmm…good pie," he said around a mouthful.

"Yeah?" Alex picked up her own fork to try a bite of lemony sweetness. "Mmmm," she hummed in agreement and licked her lips before digging in for more.

"What are you doing this weekend?" Bobby asked out of the blue.

Swallowing her third bite, Alex reluctantly decided she shouldn't have any more calories and pushed the plate toward Bobby. "I have to start looking for my own place. Much as I'm happy to be back near my family, and I love my dad, I really don't want to live with him permanently."

"Need to be able to curse whenever you want?" Alex laughed hard and Bobby chuckled at her.

"Yeah, something like that."

"Tell you what," he put his fork down and pushed the empty plate to the edge of the table. "Working in the security business, I have some contacts. If I simplify your search by providing you with a list of places to check out, would you spend Saturday afternoon with me instead?"

A Saturday afternoon with Bobby. Just that morning she wasn't sure she'd ever see him again, let alone feel like a schoolgirl anxiously awaiting her first date. "I'd like tha-…" she began before a thought occurred to her. "Wait. Doing what?"

Bobby feigned hurt feelings. "Nothing to do with criminals or dead bodies."

"Not the library?"

"No."

"Doing what, then?" she demanded as she crossed her arms and leaned against the back of the booth. But they both knew she was only teasing. Alex didn't care what they did – they could visit the water treatment plant and she would be happy spending time with him.

"Well…I don't really know. But I'll think of something," he assured her with a smile. "What do you say?"

"Whatever it is, it better be good. I've been gone a long time."

TBC…