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Chapter 2: The Divine Wind Approaches"
The sun rises over the village of Konoha , revealing a beautiful day. Most of the dutiful shinobi of the village have risen with the sun and are preparing for a event filled day. Their scurrying goes on till about noon when giant yawn is released from the apartment of our hero, the one, the only Uzumaki Naruto. He now drowsily stumbles to the bathroom to relive himself and then returns to his bed .
At the same time in the bed placed in rather large carriage pulled by 12 horses Uzumaki Kazemaru awakens. Kazemaru rises and walks as though he is the living dead to the bathroom placed in his carriage. Attendant is in the corner reading the latest in the Itcha Itcha Paradise series, while sounds of urine hitting water are echoed through the door of the bathroom. Five minutes later this sound is replaced by the sound of a shower and then a hairdryer. Attendant then motions with her free hand, 5,4,3,2,1 and…………
"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" screams Kazemaru.
" How many times have told you that people can't even see your yearly facial hair and that because of that you shouldn't wax your face." said Attendant .
Note that Attendant does not correct Kazemaru out of fear for him causing immense pain to himself, but rather the shrieking that disturbs her reading time. Kazemaru now applies ice packs to his face and quickly returns to his bed.
" You dumbass, you're going mess up your hair that way" Hummed Attendant.
" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screams Kazemaru as he flew out of the bed.
Back to our hero, who has decided that the day should not be spent in his bed. And in turn has decided for breakfast today shall be Maiso Flavored Ramen. He slurps down the meal as the professionals in those eating contest do and is off for his day. \
At this time as if on a the same schedule, Kazemaru has also started his most important meal of the day beginning with an assortment of fruits, followed by trays of bacon, eggs, pancakes, Belgium waffles, Sausage, French toast, muffins, and coffee to wash it all down. Attendant, the one who has prepared all of this lovely food has now simply returned to her reading of "Itcha Itcha Paradise" .
"Why aren't you eating Attendant?"
" Because I ate four and a half hours ago, and I don't want to have lunch yet"
" You didn't rise at dawn ? How dare you"
" Sorry, I figured why start my day so early when you start yours at noon? And I was gonna wake you up but you where snoring so serenely , you're only normal person volume when you're sleeping. "
"I do not snore!"
"Yeah you do "
"I do not "
"you do "
"I do not "
"you do "
"I do not "
" You don't"
"I do!"
" Haha"
" Damn, why do you keep doing that ?"
"Better question, Why do you let me do it?"
" Oh be quiet, How much longer till Konoha? "
There is a dismal silence.
" Why do you refuse to answer ?"
Attendant begins to make hand gestures on be known to Kazemaru as sign language. Her response was something like this.
" You told me to be quiet ass hole. I swear sometimes you are truly retarded."
"WTF, I demand you speak to me. " said a very confused Kazemaru.
" You told me to be quiet, you fucking tard! " said a very annoyed Attendant..