All Days characters are © NBC/Sony/Corday Productions.

Fortune's Crook

The fact that I'm driving through paradise alone – as usual – is not lost on me as I round another corner on the narrow, two-lane road that serpentines this small gulf island lying just off the west coast of Canada. It seems all I've done for the past five years is hop from one Eden to another, smiling happily on the outside, while slowly dying on the inside. Don't get me wrong. I love my job. I love the travel. I love seeing all the gorgeous places I've been sent to since I started working with my brother, but each and every destination has served as a reminder of what could have been, what should have been, what would have been, and most importantly, what will never be.

The sudden blaring of a horn jolts me from my melancholic daze. Blinking back the ever-present unshed tears before they spillover and render me completely blind, I pull the steering wheel to the right, bringing my car back in line with the lane. "If only I could pull my life back on track that easily." I muse to myself as I glance down at the directions Eric's assistant had given me a day earlier.

This assignment was a last minute favor, something Eric had promised to do for a friend of a friend of a friend. It was a far cry from his usual gigs with jet-setting celebrities that now took up most of his time. Truth be told, I was sort of looking forward to this one: simple family portraits instead of a magazine or calendar shoot. Normally I fly in a day or two ahead of Eric, scout out locations, even take a few shots myself with my digital camera and email to my twin so he can plan his sessions accordingly. I double check that he and his models have everything they'll need at their beck and call, and then after touching base with my brother the day of his arrival, I turn everything over to Mark, his partner, and take off again for the next place on the never-ending list.

Eric's a pretty famous photographer these days, in very high demand, so the job doesn't leave me with a lot of spare time except for when I'm driving aimlessly around islands with no cell-phone coverage. You see, it's easy to pretend that everything's alright when I can keep busy; it's a lot harder when the self-pitying dark shadows have me as their captive audience.

As I round another bend in the snake-like road I see the sign for the inn. I can feel the corners of my mouth tugging into a bemused smile as I read the name. "Fortune's Crook." I know it's really named that because of the weird curve of the nearby shoreline , but somehow, it just seems so appropriate that I'd find myself here this weekend of all weekends. After all, it's exactly five years ago that my chance for happiness was so coldly ripped away from me. Five years since Kate interrupted my wedding to the man I've always loved, the man I'll always love, the man I can never have again.

Oh that did it. I reach up and swipe at the torrent of tears that just started cascading down my cheeks. Five years. You'd think I'd be able to think about him without crying by now wouldn't you? But I can't. For me, Lucas will always be an open wound, an omnipresent contusion on my soul. Ironic isn't it? It took me ten years to figure out that he was all I ever needed, and all of ten nanoseconds to realize that without him I am only a shadow of myself. I know that I'm not supposed to say things like that. According to my mother, my assorted siblings, even Eric – especially Eric – I'm supposed to move on with life, get over Lucas and find happiness with someone else. They make it sound so simple. I mean, Mom did it with John. Carrie with Mike, Belle with Philip - even Rex found a new love after he moved to Chicago. The only one who hasn't moved on is Cassie, and that's only because she hasn't needed to. In her words, she's "playing the field and doesn't want to find her soul-mate for another few years." And then there's Eric - my sweet, handsome, brooding twin. He not only found a new partner in life, but he switched sides to do it. When he reminds me that if he can find a new love so can I, I half-jokingly point out to him that he went to extreme measures to make sure that he'd never repeat his Nicole mistake, and while I admire and respect the love he's found with Mark, it's not an option for me. No one is. I mean, if it were that easy to replace Lucas, I'd have taken up with Austin when he returned. Goodness knows he was willing, very willing, and here's the kicker: despite my years of chasing the man, I wasn't the least bit tempted, not even for a fraction of a nanosecond. Somewhere out there the gods of irony are laughing their asses off at me. It often makes me wonder; just what on earth did I do wrong in my last life to deserve this one?

I've learned not to voice that question in front of my family. It makes them nervous, and makes my mother get that "look". You know the one that says she's seeing a potential patient, not her daughter, standing in front of her. For their sakes and the sake of my own sanity (ha!), I pretend that all is well and so do they.

I brush the nasty dark thoughts aside as I turn into the driveway of the inn. It's a quaint little place sitting on the volcanic banks, about twenty feet above the ocean. Momentarily pushing my misery aside, I turn into Samantha Brady, the trusted scout of the very famous photographer Eric Brady. As I near the building I can see its assets already. The main floor is lined with huge windows, the kind that will allow my brother to use the natural light to its fullest potential. And for me, it means a lot less work than usual. This isn't a magazine shoot; it's a simple family get together. They've asked for individual and group photos, to be taken both inside and outside, plus candids during the weekend's events. Eric will do the portraits of course, but we'll both be doing the candids. It's impossible for one photographer to cover everything, especially when small children are involved, and as Eric likes to remind me, the more I practice, the better I'll get. Oh yeah that's right, I've taken up photography too. I've little interest in shooting people (other than Kate – okay, bad joke I know), so I mostly concentrate on landscapes and wildlife, but Eric has a point. Any shooting is good practice.

I park the car and step outside. Reaching into my purse, I pull out my small mirror and check for damage from my last round of crying. I rarely bother with makeup anymore, so there's no runny mascara to worry about. Satisfied that I won't send the owners running for the hills in fright, I walk up the steps, pull the door open and go inside.

The fresh smell of pine assaults my senses as I enter the foyer. I note the sunlight reflecting off the clean hardwood floors as I walk up to the desk, smiling at the woman standing there. I extend my hand. "Hello. I'm Sami Brady. I called this morning about the photo shoot?"

She smiles. "Oh yes of course. You're here for the Simpson family reunion weekend. I have a room for you, and one for your brother and his partner." She looks around me to the doorway. "Will your husband be joining you?"

I sigh. As a woman who often travels alone, it never ceases to amaze me how often I get asked where my husband/boyfriend/significant other is. Is it so incomprehensible to these people that a woman would be traveling alone? I know, I know, they mean well, but it's so irritating functioning solo in a world that is set up for pairs and all it does is constantly remind me that I'm a failure.

"It's a working trip." I remind her. "So it's just me in my room." I long ago stopped explaining my appalling lack of a mate to strangers. The occasional indulgence in self-pity I can deal with, but I draw the line at the sympathetic nods of understanding that strangers persist in giving me upon hearing of my sad and pathetic single status. God, you'd think being single was equivalent to a death sentence, and if anyone would know the difference between the two, it's me. The death penalty is by far the kinder of punishments. It's quick and painless, and over in less than a minute. I should only be so lucky.

Okay, okay, that wasn't funny. Will would have a fit if he heard me joking about it, and let's face it; he's the one reason why I can still function as a human being. Without him, it's likely that I would have jumped to my death off some craggy cliffs years ago, but Will keeps me sane (as sane as Sami Brady is ever allowed to be ;)

He lives with his father, has done so for the past five years, and I don't often see him anymore – only when he visits Grandma and Grandpa Evans in Colorado in the summer, or those rare occasions when he has enough time off from school to fly to wherever I happen to be working, but we talk on the phone every week, and email daily. He's doing okay; we're doing okay. It was rough at first, but with Austin's help Will finally managed to work past his anger over "Stan" and forgave me. He'll be 18 soon, and plans to head off to college. He plans to follow in the Horton footsteps and become a doctor. I'm so proud of him, yet I can't believe how fast the years have flown by. It seems like only yesterday that I was tugging the tie off his father in the old Titan photo lab. Oh damn, there I go again, off on another depressing trip down memory lane. When will I ever learn not to go back there? I quickly sign the papers that the innkeeper has put in front of me, and after grabbing the key I head straight for my room to have a good, long cry.

Hours later I've managed to beat back the demons long enough to go for a walk along the cliff top outside. The swirling waves cast a hypnotic spell over me as I stare into the dark abyss of the cold Pacific water. It would be so easy to end this farce here and now, one misstep on the slippery rocks, and it would all be nothing but a cold, dark memory. Part of me knows I shouldn't even entertain thoughts like this, but another strong voice reminds me that if it was good enough for Ophelia, it would be good enough for Sami Brady too. But for now, I decide to repel the shade, instead embracing the light of the glorious afternoon sun. My walk along the shore wasn't all for naught as I've found the perfect setting for the outdoor portraits. I take a few photos with my camera and then scurry inside to send them off to Eric.

A few hours later, I'm relaxing in my room when I hear the familiar chiming of my email. It's a message from Eric. The locations I've chosen look great and he wants me to start without him tomorrow as he and Mark managed to miss one of their connections from the other side of the globe. He'll be here, but not until sometime in the evening, and the party starts at two in the afternoon.

I bounce out of bed the next morning with an unfamiliar energy. If I didn't know better I'd swear Lucas was here, as it's the same feeling I used to get whenever I was around him. Not that I've had much opportunity to be around the man in the past few years. Accepting Eric's invitation to work alongside him pretty much put the final nail in the Sami/Lucas coffin. We were miles apart emotionally, so translating those miles into a physical reality seemed like the only solution. However, thanks to our son, I have kept tabs on him.

I chalk the added energy up to the fresh ocean air as I step into the shower. Massaging the shampoo into my hair I recall the events of the past few years. After our breakup Lucas quickly hooked up with a flirty waitress named Sophie. That lasted all of three weeks before Victor took pity on him and threw him into a demanding position at Titan.

Then along came the parade of debutantes courtesy of the ever-interfering Kate. Lucas, in true rebellious son fashion, rejected them all. I breathed a sigh of relief, confident that while we could never be together, at least he was no more able to move on with life than I was. It was petty, and I'm not proud of it, but it was all I had left to cling to.

The fates of course, had other things planned. While I was celebrating the shallow victory of our shared misery, Lucas went out and found someone new. She wasn't polished and shiny like the women Kate had pushed in front of him. Oh no, she was much worse. She was quiet, and kind, and pretty in that girl next-door kind of way. A dainty little brunette with Bambi eyes and flawless olive skin, she was the opposite of me – the anti-Sami if you will. Will sent me a photo of them all after she and Lucas had been dating for a few weeks. I gave it six months tops. At sixteen weeks they announced their engagement. I was in Kenya when I received that email, and Eric and Mark literally spent the next three days watching my every move; they were so afraid that I'd take off and feed myself to the lions if left alone.

I survived the heartbreaking news by reminding myself that an engagement does not necessarily equal a marriage. I mean, I had no less than seven failed wedding attempts to prove that point. Again, karma's a bitch and for some unknown reason she despises me. (Perhaps she's related to Kate?) Their wedding went off without a hitch. Or at least that's what Will tells me. Knowing how I'd react, Eric managed to find us an assignment that kept us in the jungles of South America for three weeks. By the time we emerged, mosquito bitten and sun burnt, Lucas and his wife (I can't even bring myself to type her name) were already home from their honeymoon. Needless to say, I haven't stepped foot in Salem since.

Over the next two years I threw myself into my work, letting it consume my life. Oh I'd make brief stops for Will, but he knew the game. Lucas and his new wife were the pink elephant in the room. Will and I both knew it was there, but by unspoken agreement never brought it to each other's attention. That is until the fateful day when the pink elephant decided to reproduce. Of all the pain I've experienced in life, what with losing my father(s), mother and stepmother, nothing prepared me for the sheer agony of the arrival of Lucas' daughter. A knife through the heart couldn't have wounded me more than the thought of him having our child with another woman. Little Margaret (Meg) Alice Roberts made her way into the world on a sunny June day in 2008 and in that moment whatever hope had been subsisting in my heart died. With her birth, I lost the one unique bond that forever tied me and Lucas together, and I knew that it was finally over. My heart was damaged beyond repair, and instead of attempting to mend it, I let it go numb, determined to never feel anything that real again.

I step out of the shower determined to push the distressing memories aside. After all, I have a job to do, and with Eric running late everything is falling on my shoulders. I half-dry my hair before fastening it into a neat ponytail. I dress quickly and grab my camera case before heading downstairs. The Simpson family, 42 in all, will begin arriving any moment and I promised Eric I'd get candid shots of the happy family reunion. And I have to admit that part of me is dying of curiosity to see exactly what a happy family reunion looks like. I've been to many Brady get-togethers, but something tells me that "normal" families aren't quite as dramatic as ours.

Three hours later I'm bored out of my mind. Most of the family has already arrived and being the good little photographer, I've captured it all. I want to escape up to my room, but Jocelyn, the family matriarch has just informed me that her beloved granddaughter Theresa is on the way. Apparently Theresa has a handsome husband and beautiful young daughter that most of the extended has yet to meet, so they're all very excited. Me, I'm wishing I could be anywhere but here. Seeing all these joyful people just reminds me of everything I've lost. And the last thing I want to see is the happy young couple with the toddler.

I'm wishing that Eric would hurry up and get here when I feel my Lucas radar kick in. You know what Lucas radar is right? It's that mysterious ability I have to zero in on him if he's nearby. It's never failed me, but for the life of me I don't understand why it's kicking in now, out here of all places. I hear a car door slam outside and it dawns on me. The name I refused to type earlier was Terri. Jocelyn's granddaughter is Theresa. Like Sami is to Samantha, Terri is to Theresa. A baseball sized knot forms in the pit of my stomach. It couldn't be, could it? Do the fates truly hate me that much? In slow motion I scan the occupants of the room, noting the predominant dark hair, dark eyes and olive skin. "Oh God." I moan, feeling nauseous.

I search for an escape, but I can't move my limbs. Instead I find my eyes magnetically drawn to the door. In horror I watch as they walk towards me. There's no doubt about it. The dark haired man leaning down to take the hand of the adorable little moppet is none other than the bane of my existence, the yang to my yin, the love of my life, and the other half of my broken soul. His name escapes my lips in a tortured whisper. "Lucas."

I said it so softly that it's impossible that he could have heard it, yet he must have, as he lifts his head to look directly at me. I want to run and hide, but there's no escape. He's seen me and he's heading straight for me. I close my eyes, willing him to disappear as he walks through the door.

"Sami?"

I squeeze them tighter. This can't be happening. Again I ask God. What on earth did I do last time around? Was I so awful that it was decided that the only suitable punishment would be the continual heartbreak, humiliation and degradation of my spirit in this lifetime? How much is one person supposed to take before it's simply too much? I force a tight smile onto my lips. My eyes pop open in feigned surprise as I struggle to say his name without a betraying catch in my voice. "Lucas!"

He's shocked. (I know the feeling). "What are you doing here?"

"Believe it or not, I'm working. Eric's running late but will be here tonight. What are you doing here?" I look around him, seeing only his wife and daughter. "And where's Will?"

"Will had school basketball tryouts this weekend so he couldn't come. This is Terri's family reunion. Most of them haven't had the chance to meet Meg yet, or even me for that matter."

I nod calmly, sneaking a glance at his wife, who's staring at me with unabashed curiosity. No doubt she's heard the entire Sami Brady story, and is fascinated to meet the freaky star of that melodrama in person. At least that's what the angel on my shoulder tells me. The devil who sits on the other side, whispers that she's so fascinated because she's finally getting to see the woman whose name Lucas calls out in his sleep every night. Yeah, I like that version much better. See? I can rationalize anything.

"I know who you are. You're Will's other mommy. He has your picture in his room." I kneel down to look at the little doll who just made her presence known. I'm barely containing my tears as I look into this miniature female version of Lucas. Oh I'm sure she has some of her mother in her too, but all I can see is the milk chocolate eyes that I have loved for over half my life, and the same thick dark hair I always imagined our daughter would have. And her smile, oh dear lord she has his smile too. It's too much for me to handle. I can't breathe. I need to get the hell out of here and fast.

"I can't do this." I murmur as my legs find their strength. Leaving the stunned family behind, I bolt out the door, heading for the only solace that I know I can find here.

Moments later I'm once again mesmerized by the water. I wasn't ready before, but I am now. This is the only way I'll ever be free; the only way either of us will ever be free. I step across the slick rocks, inching closer to the edge.

"Dammit Sami!" He screams at me as he picks his way across the slippery boulders behind me. "I'm not worth it! I was never worth it!" He's followed me. I knew he would of course. It's our fate; we're doomed to a lifetime of mutual misery, but we don't have to be. I can end it all and set him free.

"Don't you get it?" I shout back at him. "It's all my fault! I started this whole mess and now I'm going to fix it! Let me do this Lucas! I'll be free and so will you!"

"Free?" He stops in his tracks and stares at me incredulously. "You fucking think this will free you? Free me? Are you nuts Sami?"

I shrug my shoulders helplessly.

"If you go through with this, all you've managed to do is doom yet another child to a miserable and lonely childhood. Look what that did to you! Don't repeat your parents' mistakes!"

That gets my attention. "Will isn't a child anymore. He knows the score. He'll be fine."

"I'm not talking about our son dammit!"

I frown. "Then what are you talking about?"

"My daughter."

"Meg?"

"Yes!"

"I have no effect on her life."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

He's managed to cross the remaining rocks that had separated us. Reaching me, he hauls me into his arms, holding me tightly against his chest as he whispers into my hair. "Don't you get it Sami? If you go in, so do I. If you sink down, so do I. If you don't come back up, neither do I."

I struggle against his iron grip; his words aren't making any sense and I need to get away. But he's stronger than me; I can't escape. Finally I ask the only coherent question I can think of. "Why?"

Proving that he still knows me better than anyone ever has, probably far better than I know myself, he explains. "Baby I know it hurts, but you have to move on. You need to let go… of me… of us."

"But that's what I'm trying to do Lucas. Let me let go." Again I struggle against him.

"NO!" He squeezes me tighter, ensuring that if I fall so does he.

"Lucas let me go! It's better for all of us if I'm gone. You've moved on with your life, and in some ways I'm glad that you were able to, but don't you see that it's killing me?"

"This isn't the answer Sami. Yes I moved on, but I only could because I knew that no matter what else happened between us, at least you were alive somewhere on earth. I can sleep at night only because I know you're safe and you're breathing. If you take that away, then I'll never have peace, and neither will you. For both our sakes, let us go."

"But it hurts so badly." I whimper as I collapse against his solid chest.

His hand gently strokes my hair as he soothes me. "I know it does baby, but it doesn't have to. We'll get you help. We'll make it better. We lost our chance this time, but we'll get it right in our next lifetime. I promise."

-♥-

Approximately two years later…

"Sami are you sure you want to do this? We can stay at one of the other places, or even on one of the other islands."

I smile at the worry in his voice, and reach out a hand to caress his cheek, letting my fingers linger for an extra moment beside his beautiful dark eyes. "I'm sure." Leaning over, I kiss him gently. "I couldn't have done this without you, you know."

He breaks into a smile. "You're a strong woman; far stronger than you ever give yourself credit for."

I shake my head, saying nothing. It's been a long and bumpy road, but I'm ten thousand light years removed from the path I was headed on two years ago. Yet at the same time, I'm traveling down a comfortably familiar road. "Oh, it's right here. Look, there's the sign."

"Ah yes. Fortune's Crook. Cool name."

I grin. "Yeah, I used to think it meant 'stolen chance'."

"And now?"

"Now I know that it means something entirely different: destiny's bend."

"Otherwise known as a twist of fate." He nods in agreement. "You're right. I like that interpretation much better than your first one." Reaching over, he grabs my left hand and lifts it to his lips, kissing the gold band that he placed there less than 24 hours earlier.

He parks the car next to the inn and ever the gentleman, comes around to open the door for me. Hand in hand we walk over to the same slippery rocks where I stood ready to end it all not too long ago. I chuckle to myself as I feel his arms slide around my waist from behind. I lean back, reveling in his solid support as he softly whispers in my ear.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh I was just marveling at how different it feels being here now. I was so sure my life was over back then."

"And now?"

I grin as I grab his hand, rubbing it across the barely perceptible swelling of my belly. "Well Mr. Reed, now I know that it was an ending, but of a chapter, not the book."

I feel him smile into my hair as we stare out across the water together. Maybe it's not the story I had imagined years ago, but it works for Sami Brady-Reed in the here and now. And like Lucas told me way back when, we'll get it right in our next lifetime, or the one after that, or the one after that…

The End