Chapter 23: Ginny ponders!

It had been two days since her fight with Draco and she still couldn't comprehend everything that had transpired in the past week. Ron's comments, the realization that Draco had indeed been right about her ideas and specially the lyrics to that damn song kept playing themselves over and over in her head.

She looked again at the parchment where she'd scribbled them down so she wouldn't forget and read it.

"And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me.
You couldn't stand to be near me,
When my face don't seem to want to shine,
'Cause it's a little bit dirty."

That was what she'd done with Draco, had been doing since the beginning she saw his flaws and wouldn't let herself love him. She thought again about Ron and Hermione's engagements and how she'd perceived it and how it really had been. She realized that the true engagement had been more romantic because it was Ron and Hermione, Ron being passionate and Hermione being logical, loving each other, rowing. That's who they are and they weren't blind to each other's faults, they were happy to throw them at each other's faces as often as possible but they still loved each other.

Before she'd seen their lives as perfect because she saw their home and the jobs they loved but now it was as if she'd been given new eyes. She remembered when they'd lived at the Burrow cramped up in Ron's room. The fights when Ron resented that Hermione was the one making the money while he was still training to be a Healer. The fights when they'd finally decided to move out into their own tiny apartment. The fights when they'd decided to get their own house. Indeed she'd ignored the arguments as just Ron and Hermione but now she realized they'd worked hard to reach this place in life, that perfection that she'd ignorantly coveted, thinking she would only have to wish it and it would be hers.

Draco had been right, she needed to grow up, she needed to let go of all her old dreams and fears and make a choice. She needed to work for what she wanted, instead of hoping it would fall into her lap. She stood up from the couch where she'd been sitting contemplating how massively she'd ruined her life.

She walked over to the television armoire and opened it she kneeled down and pulled out her wand waving it at a locked drawer. The drawer opened up and she reached inside pulling out a cauldron. She set it on the floor beside her and pulled out a picture which she'd thrown in about a month ago without giving it another glance. She looked at it now to look at Draco as he really was. His eyes were the first to draw her attention, in this picture they were so light that they were almost blue but not quite it actually reminded her of the sky during autumn. His smile was wide, free with a happiness she felt stupid for not having noticed earlier. She looked again at him, at his slightly pointy nose, at his hair which was so light it was almost white and couldn't stop the smile that formed on her face, I love you, Draco.

The realization didn't startle her, she'd always known deep down, she was just scared of what it might mean, scared of what might happen if he didn't love her back. She accioed the parchment which she'd left on the coffee table and transfigured it into a frame and she placed Draco's picture in it. For all of her holding on to the past and the house distinctions she hadn't been much of a Gryffindor. She hadn't been very brave, even back then, she saw the book that lay inside the cauldron and lifted it out.

She opened the cover and picked up the two parchments. She accioed a quill and inkwell from her bedroom and set about filling out an application she should have finished five years ago.

When she set it aside to dry she saw the other parchment and picked it up, she remembered so clearly the day Professor Slughorn had given it to her.

Ginny stood nervously in front of the old man she had no idea why he'd summoned her to stay after class. "Ms. Weasley, Professor McGonagall has informed me of your plans to become a Potions Mistress."

"Ye-es, sir," she said nervously she was never quite sure whether or not he was this nice, it seemed impossible to her thinking that any Slytherin could be kind specially to a Gryffindor no matter how much he praised her during class.

"These past three years I've been very much impressed by your ability in potions. It is not something that one can learn; it is a natural aptitude and love for potions." He said, "Professor Snape, may he rest in peace, thought as much and sang your praises when he gave me the evaluation reports of his students."

Ginny was stunned she'd always been rather embarrassed by the fact that unlike the other Gryffindors Snape had never reprimanded her, at least not during Potions, but she'd never imagined that he'd spoken well of her.

"That is why I've written this for you," he said picking up a parchment and handing it to her, "it is a recommendation, for the Potions Research Division of the Department of Mysteries."

"Th-thank you," Ginny said completely shocked. "Thank you so much sir!"

"It's nothing, especially not for an outstanding member of the Slug Club," he said merrily. "I have something else for you," he said and lifted the tome on his desk. "Enjoy it."

"Thank you, sir," she said taking the book without glancing at the title.

"That's all, I'll see you on Sunday for tea?"

"Of course, wouldn't miss it for anything." She said smiling and walked out of his office. When she was a little of the way down the hall she stopped to look at the book he'd given her: Imbibing the Killer: An Analysis of Commonly Used Potions by Severus Snape

She looked at the book, I have enjoyed it.

She turned back to the parchment and opened for the first time.

"Dear Arsenius,

I presume that you are already excited by the qualifications of this young witch, Ginevra Weasley so this letter is not to speak of her talents as a Potions maker, which I believe are attested for quite well by her marks and excellent O.W.L.S and N.E.W.T.S scores. This letter is to tell you of her character. This young woman is a credit to all Witches and Wizards everywhere. She is hardworking, courageous, intelligent, and ambitious, all indications of someone who will change the world."

The letter continued in this vein but she couldn't read anymore as she was sure that if she felt any guiltier and any more like a failure she would be unable to drag herself out of bed for a week. She folded up both parchments and sealed them then called Morgan, her owl from where she was perched on top of the armoire and gave her the letter to deliver to the Ministry.

She sat on the coffee table clutching Draco's picture as Morgan flew out the window and hoped she'd done the right thing. She was not allowed the privilege of worrying as she suddenly heard a knocking at the door. She ran down the hall and opened the door to see Luna standing there.

"Hi," she said weakly.

Luna breezed in, "I'm here to take your copy of Imbibing the Killer. Ron won't let up and if I don't give it to him soon I think he's going to hex me."

"Sure, it's by the telly." Ginny said following her in.

Luna walked in and picked up the book from the floor. She then turned around to look at Ginny for the first time since arriving, "Is that a picture of Draco Malfoy in your hand?"

"Yeah," Ginny said sadly gazing at it, "He's my boyfriend, I think."

"I always thought he was rather handsome when he didn't speak."

"Yeah," Ginny said laughing, you can always count on Luna to lighten the mood.

"I heard that in my absence his company came out with something called an Electrifier."

"Yes, it's amazing, it allows Witches and Wizards to use muggle technology, Dad has one."

"That's what he was talking about!" Luna exclaimed.

Luna then told her some stories from her adventures in Russia while Ginny prepared them lunch.

After they ate they sat around playing cards and listening to the wireless when Ginny's fire flared. She looked at the clock over the mantelpiece, it was a little after two. Who could it be?

Penny stepped out of the fire, William and George each holding unto one of her hands.

"Aunt Ginny! Aunt Luna!" George exclaimed hugging each one in turn. Will sulked into the room and sat on one edge of the sofa. Penny dropped the bag she was holding and bent down. She pulled out a magazine and without another word shoved it at Ginny.

"Ginevra, what is the meaning of this?"

"Oh! I'd forgotten!" Ginny said. "Yeah, I've got one of the female leads." She said unnecessarily as it was her picture that sat front and centre.

"When did you have time to be in a play?" Penny asked crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Lovers' Vows is one of my favourite plays!" Luna exclaimed.

Ginny looked at the cover of the magazine which Luna was now perusing, "isn't that Fleur's magazine?"

"Yeah, she lent it to me." Penny said.

"Why didn't she say anything on Sunday?" Ginny said. "It might have reminded me, I meant to tell everyone then."

"She probably didn't see it." Penny said dismissively, "don't change the subject. I happen to know that David Fay makes his cast practice almost everyday. Isn't that the time you're usually at work?" She turned her glare at George and Will who were flipping through the TV. "Boys, can't you hear the Wireless is on? Turn that thing off!"

The boys turned it off and slumped down on the floor and gathered up the cards Luna and Ginny had discarded with their arrival.

"Penny, I appreciate your concern, but I'm a grown woman and I don't need you to tell me what to do." Ginny said standing so she was level with Penelope. "Besides, I quit my job months ago and as you can see the world hasn't imploded."

Penny narrowed her eyes and Ginny could see the moment she gave up. "Well, when can you get us all tickets?"

A/N: Wed, May 18, 2004, Ginny doesn't work on Wednesday. Penelope opened a primary school for wizard children and is its Headmistress. School's ended for the day and she has Will with her because she drops him off at Bill and Fleur's everyday after school. I thought I'd slip those facts in during the chapter but I didn't, so there you are so you're not confused. As you can tell, this is one of the chapters that I had put up before that needed to be moved when I decided to go for my less confusing ordering of the chapters!