So, it really hasn't been too long since the last update…and this chapter really has been a brat. But here I am, finally, with what's almost the last installment of this story. After this, there are only two (maybe, MAYBE three) chapters to go. Really…I know that seems pretty quick, but there really isn't a whole lot left that needs to happen. And as of right now, I'm putting all the action-stuff in one chapter. So…yeah. This ride's about over, folks.

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Porphyria

Chapter 13 – Abiding

Well, that was stupid.

Really, though, out of all the dumb things Beast Boy had done in his life, that one was near the top of his list.

What had he been thinking? Hey, maybe, if I jump into this gigantic black monster that blows up everything it touches, it'll go away.

Pretty much.

And where had it gotten him? He couldn't really say – it didn't really seem to be a place at all, it just sort of was, if that made any sense at all. He was almost positive that he wasn't dead – not that he had anything to compare it to – but it didn't feel like life, either. Maybe he was somewhere in between.

But there had been something else, between the jump and this place – something important. So important, in fact, that he distinctly remembered holding on to consciousness for as long as possible, just to try and tell his friends what he'd seen. He wasn't sure if they'd gotten the message.

The question, however, remained – what had he seen? And where had he seen it?

It must have been inside the creature, as illogical as that seemed. Because that would mean that he hadn't been alone in there after all.

No, he hadn't actually seen it – it had all been in his head. But didn't that mean that it wasn't real after all? What if he was focusing all this effort on something he'd only imagined?

Then again, it wasn't like he had anything else to do. So, he decided to remember.

Dark. Everything around him was black – an ebony veil that his gaze couldn't pierce. And the silence – it was just so unimaginably quiet. With a sickening lurch, he realized that he couldn't even hear his own heartbeat.

Was this death?

Without quite perceiving why, he suddenly knew that he wasn't alone. And then, there she was, just a few feet away. Her lilac locks – the color the only life in a world of death – much longer now, fluttered around her, and her eyes flashed in the darkness. A word formed on her lips, but across the coal-black vortex, he couldn't make it out.

L…

He had to know. If he could only hear her message, he knew he could find her.

Lu…

What?

With a start, the image faded, and his senses returned, and with them, pain. He was free of that other place, and of the creature's grasp – and someone was calling him.

"BB? C'mon, wake up."

That was the last thing he wanted to do – waking meant pain, and poking and prodding, and lectures, and all sorts of terrible things. At least it hadn't hurt in that half-way place. Still, he had to tell them what he'd seen, so he was left with no choice but to force his eyelids open.

He had time to register Cyborg's blurry face above his before he was assailed by another fresh wave of agony, and his eyes fell closed again as he tried to block it out.

"Hey." Cyborg was talking again, so Beast Boy opened his eyes for a second time. "You're awake."

"…Yeah," Beast Boy managed a minute later, already out of breath and hurting all over. "Unfortunately."

Cyborg chuckled, and Beast Boy realized that the half-robot was in a chair next to his bed. "I'm just glad you're back with us," he said, obviously relieved. "It was touch and go for a while back there."

That didn't surprise Beast Boy one bit – in fact, he was more than a little shocked that he'd survived at all. But by now something else had caught his attention – he turned his gaze to his side and was met with an unwelcome sight.

"I had to take it off," Cyborg explained quietly, and Beast Boy glanced up at him. "When you were hurt, it was messing with your system – sending shocks through your nerves – eventually it would have killed you."

Beast Boy nodded in understanding, and recalled a dim image of himself, sprawled in a pool of blood, powerless as the sparks coursed through his body. He shouldn't have lived…

"But anyway," Cyborg was saying, "I built you another one – Star says it's shinier than last time, but I'm not sure."

"Cyborg?" Beast Boy felt his eyes sliding shut once more, but he couldn't sleep yet. "Thanks."

"No problem."

He fell silent, but refused to slumber all the same. There'd been something else he'd wanted to say, but for some reason, his mind kept wandering away from the task at hand. Maybe if he could stay awake long enough, it would return to him.

"How long…was I out?" he asked finally, eyes still shut tight.

"Over two weeks," Cyborg informed him. "You had us worried."

"Sorry."

"It's okay – you're alright now."

"And what about the creature?" Beast Boy asked next, almost dreading the answer. He had no idea what kind of havoc it could have wreaked in his absence.

"It's still around." Cyborg hesitated before continuing. "But you did something to it, BB. It's weaker – we can hurt it now. But…"

Beast Boy opened his eyes and looked up into his friend's troubled face. "What?"

Cyborg frowned. "Robin was hurt, right after you were." At Beast Boy's horrified expression, he quickly added, "but he's alright – his leg was cut up pretty bad, and he's on crutches, but he'll be fine."

Satisfied, Beast Boy closed his eyes again, but couldn't help but question further. "Cut up how?"

"He sort of went…through the T-car's windshield."

Grimacing in sympathy, Beast Boy fell silent for a moment before bringing up the one question he was desperate to ask.

"And Raven?"

"Nothing – we haven't found anything else."

Suddenly, it clicked – the creature, Raven – and Beast Boy knew what he'd been trying so hard to remember.

"Cyborg, it's her," he said urgently, not caring about the crushing pain in his chest, or the jolt of agony that shot up his body with every movement. "It was Raven."

Seconds later he realized just how crazy that sounded, but to his surprise, Cyborg nodded.

"That's what you said before." So he had heard him. But still…

"It doesn't make any sense," Beast Boy said miserably. "How can it be her?"

"See, that's the thing." Cyborg's tone was hushed, as if he barely believed the words himself. "We were talking about it, and…do you remember when Raven lost control of her powers, and they started acting on their own?"

"Yeah." And then, "Oh…"

"And if somebody else could control that thing…"

"Slade." Beast Boy's voice held no question, only anger. Beside him, Cyborg nodded.

"But I've been thinking about it even more," Cyborg continued, "and if that creature's really made up of Raven's powers, then don't you think it can do anything Raven can do?"

Beast Boy nodded, even though he wasn't sure where this train of thought was headed.

"So it must have her healing powers, too," Cyborg finished. "That's why…" he trailed off, shaking his head, then forced himself to go on. "I was right there, BB, when that thing dropped you, and right away I knew you weren't gonna make it. You shouldn't have, but you did. So maybe, when you were inside it, her powers had already started to heal you. Maybe that's why you didn't die."

Frowning, Beast Boy nodded – it made sense, really, but he couldn't help but feel worse. Raven was still helping him, and he couldn't do a thing for her.

"Lucy," he said suddenly, recalling the image he'd fought so hard to remember. "That's what she was saying." Cyborg was eyeing him skeptically, so Beast Boy continued. "When I was inside that…thing…and I saw Raven, that's what she said to me. Lucy."

"Why Lucy?" Cyborg mused, frowning deeply. "You don't think…what about that Kove girl?"

"I don't know." The pain he'd been trying so hard to ignore was relentless – even thinking hurt, and he was tired. Beast Boy felt his eyes slide closed of their own accord. "Maybe…we should…" he trailed off.

"We'll find her," Cyborg assured him – for the millionth time, no doubt – and stood to leave. "Get some rest."

And even if Beast Boy had wanted to stay awake, he didn't think he could, and was asleep before Cyborg even made it to the door.

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Lucy leaned into the kitchen counter, with her elbows propped up on the smooth surface, and her chin resting in her palms, glaring at a tinted bottle of little, orange pills, quite tempted to snatch the tablets and hurl them out the window.

She wasn't sure exactly when she realized that her life was all a lie – she'd suspected it for while, but couldn't be certain – but at some point during the two months off the medication, it had just clicked. James had been lying to her all along.

Her name wasn't Lucy Kove, that she was sure of.

Unfortunately, she didn't have a clue who she actually was. At least, not yet. The memories -- if the name even applied – weren't anything of substance – just shadowy, half-recollections, without faces, or voices, only emotions. Emotions that she knew she'd once fought hard to suppress.

So many questions…

Who was she?

What did he want?

Why her

And she couldn't help but wonder if she wasn't the first. Just the thought made her insides lurch.

But what could she do about it? Obviously, confronting James was nowhere near an option – if he was unstable enough to drug her and feed her twisted stories about a life she'd never led, then she wasn't sure what else he was capable of. How far would he go to keep her there?

Besides, without knowing her true identity, where would she go? James would undoubtedly follow her – he had that possessive, controlling role down to a tee.

Footsteps creaked on the floor above, and Lucy started – James had been gone most every night for the past few weeks, and he hadn't once explained where he'd been. And last night, he'd shown up around four in the morning, dragging something up to his room and locking the door – Lucy hadn't dared to venture into the hallway as he passed, or even ask about it later – this was the man that had possibly kidnapped her, after all.

Maybe she should just run – burst through that front door and never look back. And even if he stopped her, wouldn't it be better to have fought for her freedom than just wait for James to tire of her. If only she could remember…

Really, though, what other choice did she have? And all she really had to do was wait for James to leave again, slip outside and just run. And if she had to start a new life, with a new identity, she'd much rather do so on her own terms.

So Lucy waited patiently, glaring at a pill bottle and plotting her escape.

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She was supposed to be perfect.

The fatal flaw of all those other Lucy's had been their questions – they couldn't just keep their mouths shut and accept what they were told. But this latest Lucy always listened. Or at least, she used to…

Now she avoided his glances, skirted his path, and shied away from his touch. As hard as he tried, she just wasn't the same. Lucy had loved him, not feared him.

It was easy to blame everything on her after that – if she'd just done what she'd been told, James wouldn't have needed to search out yet another Lucy – there'd have been no point in him following her into her apartment, grabbing her from behind and wrestling her to the ground – he wouldn't have ever considering knocking her out and dragging her to the trunk of his car, and eventually into the house and up the stairs to his room.

The new Lucy wouldn't be sprawled in James's floor, screaming into the duct tape fastened to her lips.

But what next? He couldn't have two Lucy's at once…that went against everything he worked for. What could he do?

Besides kill the imposter, any way. And he was wary of doing just that – the Shadow Man would most definitely not be pleased about that one. He'd made James promise to keep Lucy there, locked away and safe.

Except…except she wasn't really Lucy, not anymore – things had been going downhill for a while, the last two months especially, and she was losing the few good qualities she'd had at first. He couldn't help but feel that life with her was worse than life alone. And what had the Shadow Man done for him, except shove this fake Lucy into his life?

So really, he was left with no choice.

Tonight. He'd kill her tonight.

TBC

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So…you should all be happy with this chapter…because things almost turned out something like this: "Ahem…so, Beast Boy died…and Raven lived with James in their happy little delusional world forever…or at least until he snapped one night and strangled her in her sleep. Slade and Terra took over the world, and Robin was forced to become Slade's love slave…er…I mean, apprentice. As for Cyborg and Starfire…well, he was killed and sold as scrap metal, and I hear she's a streetwalker in the slums somewhere. The end."

But you know, Justice of the People wouldn't let me end it like that. She just isn't any fun.

I luff reviews! --nudge nudge, wink wink—

Child of a Pineapple