Me: Thanks for all of the reviews! Anyway, the story thus far:

After being denied her Starbucks, Colette gets a new phone at Macy's. Now, it's time to check up on those sweat shops.

I don't own TOS, Vonage, or anything else. Ready…? BEGIN!

Chapter 2: People do Stupid things

"Stupid Colette," said Lloyd. "She left us with this bill for her clothes."

"Oh man," said Genis. "It's Raine! She doesn't look too groovy!"

"Grr," said Raine. "Stupid police, making me a certified child abuser."

Meanwhile, back in Iselia…

Lloyd and Genis are in Colette's large mansion. "Are you sure we should let Raine near the chosen?" said the mayor. "I'm worried that she's too violent."

"Relax," said Kratos. "I'll be there."

"OMG!" shouted Colette. She grabbed her cell phone. "Hello? Brianna? I just got this totally cool new cell phone! Its minutes are better than Vonage! And, that totally dreamy guy I told you about on myspace is so going to take me traveling in his car! That's right! His car. I'll call you later." She then dialed another number. "Derrick? I'm breaking up with you!" She then dialed another number. "Oh, Mary! Derrick just broke up with me. I'm like, totally devastated."

"Let's get out of here," whispered Lloyd. "Before she realizes that it's her birthday."

Yet, as soon as they left, Colette found them. "Hold on!" she shouted. "It's my birthday."

"Um, Colette," said Genis. "I backed you cookies."

"Cookies," said Colette. "Are you trying to get me fat? Ugh, cookies are lame."

"RUN!" shouted Genis. "IT'S TOO LATE FOR ME! SAVE YOURSELF!"

Lloyd ran away. Genis ran after him, hoping to escape Colette's wrath. They neared the center of town, in front of a Starbucks. There appeared to be a squad with a chain saw right in front of a tree. "Wait!" shouted Genis. He ran over and hugged the tree. "Don't chop it down! What did it ever do to you?"

Vonage music starts…

The tree starts falling down with Genis still in it. It collapses, leaving Genis with many injuries. Lloyd turns towards the camera. "People do stupid things," he said. "Like pay too much for phone service. So switch to Vonage."

Genis grabbed a bottle of water. "They're on a crusade to hurt trees!" he shouted. "Lloyd! We must stop this evil!" They ran into the forest. Actually, it was a park. The forest had been deforested to make room for a Walmart and a McDonalds. "There's the state prison!" shouted Genis. They looked inside. It appeared that the prisoners were making some sort of Drug. "Marble!" shouted Genis. An old woman appeared at the bars.

"Oh Genis," she said. "Thank you for bringing me some water."

"What are you talking about?" said Genis. He took out a water bottle. He poured it on a tree. "This water is for my totally, groovy tree friend."

"WHAT!" shouted Marble. "YOU ARE THE MOST UNGREATFUL LITTLE…"

"Hey Marble," said Lloyd. "Can you give me some steroids?"

"Oh sure," said Marble. She handed him several packs. Lloyd immediately grabbed them.

"Dude," said Genis. "Do tea, not drugs."

"Shut it," said Lloyd. "Man, I never look any different from these steroids."

"Prison guards!" shouted Genis. They ran away.

"YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE ME HERE LIKE THIS!" shouted Marble. "HOW DARE YOU!"

"I'm not leaving you!" shouted Genis. He climbed up a wall and shot his bazooka. The prison guards immediately died. Yet, Genis had gone trigger-happy. He started shooting everything, the walls, the trees, Lloyd. Lloyd suffered deep wounds and was taken to an emergency room.

At the emergency room…

"I doesn't look good," said the doctor. "We may have to pull the plug."

"Mmgh," said Lloyd. He was trying to say that he didn't need life support.

"Yes," said the doctor. "I think we should put him out of his misery. We'll pull the plug." He stopped Lloyd's life support.

"Mmgh, mmgh," said Lloyd. He tried to tell them that he wasn't dead, but he had a medical mask on his face and found it hard to talk.

"May Lloyd rest in peace," said the doctor. He took Lloyd and shoved him in a closet full of dead people. Lloyd would have nightmares about that day forever.

At Lloyd's "funeral"…

Lloyd was struggling to get out of the coffin. He had spent the night with dead people. The pastor was praying over him. "And so we have come to honor Lloyd Irving on this sad, sad day. Blah, blah, you know the rest; start paying your respects."

Colette came over and text messaged Lloyd's cell phone. "Hey, What's sup? I never knew u very well. SYIH."

Genis came up. "Hey man," he said. "It's so not groovy that you died man. Say hi to mother earth for me."

Lloyd finally broke out of the coffin. Everyone around him fainted and were rushed to the emergency room.

At Dirk's house…

"How was work dad?" asked Lloyd.

"Well, I'm glad I grew this beard," said Dirk. "Stupid child labor laws. Stupid people saying they don't need a black smith now. We dwarves were once a proud folk laddie. But, now we're all working 12 hours at the 7eleven. How was your funeral?"

"Well, I know to get better guests and a better pastor," said Lloyd. "What does SYIH stand for?"

"I think it's "See You In Hell""

"Man," said Lloyd. "I'm going to delete that text message."

"Make sure you never lose that phone," said Dirk. "Your mother died protecting it."

End…

Next chapter: The prison guards want Lloyd's cell phone. He and Genis have no money for gas, so they escape on their bikes. The last person they want to find is Colette. But, she will find them. And what does the blue haired man know about Lloyd's cell phone? What ring tone will Colette chose at the alter? Find out next chapter!