Okay, I got bored with writing about a dead white guy so I decided to write about the hottest of the hottest, ROY!
Roy: Yes, thank you, thank you. I know I am by far the hottest bishie in the entire world Yes, thank you, thank you.
Suddenly, bishies from a bunch of other animes show up and kick the crap out of Roy. lolSorry, Random thought. Anyway, heres my next demented chapter. MUWAHAHA:)
Enjoy:
Ж
Ж
Ж
Ed tapped his foot as the phone rang into his ear.
"Would she pick up already?"
He exclaimed, annoyed.
Finally, after a few minutes, a familiar voice spoke quietly into the speaker of the phone.
"Rockbell residence, home of the great auto-mail maker, Winry Rockbell! How may I help
you?"
Ed rolled his eyes and began to speak.
"Winry?"
"Ed?"
"Oh no, here it comes." He thought.
"Where the hell have you been? Do you know how long it's been since you called? You
have some nerve waiting so long to call. I've been worried sick! Do you know that?"
Ed sighed. "Yes, I know Winry."
"Well, then why don't you make me not worry, and call more often?"
"Because I don't have the time. Listen, Winry."
Winry heard a bit of fear and sadness in Ed's voice.
"Is everything… alright?" She asked, with concern.
Ed sighed.
"No."
"Well, what's going on? Is Al alright? Are you alright?"
"Al is fine, and I can't tell-"
"You can't tell me what's going on." Winry finished his sentence.
"Well, then, I supposed you need repairs on MY auto mail?"
"No."
"Well, then why did you call?"
Ed sighed and whispered,
"I need you to help me be a woman."
"WHAT?"
Ж
Ed hung up the phone and sat down.
"Oi…"
"What's wrong little buddy?"
Hughes asked as he popped his head out from behind a desk.
"YOU WANNA DIE?"
Ed yelled and made a fist. Hughes quickly shook his head and smiled.
"So, what's going on?"
He asked as he sat next to Ed on the red cushion seat.
"This is so stupid."
"What?"
"The whole thing."
"Ahh…" Hughes said in an understanding voice.
"I mean, she thought I was going gay!"
Hughes fought of a smile and tried to keep calm.
"Yes." Ed said with humiliation. "You can laugh."
And Hughes then rolled on the floor like a dog, holding his stomach and laughing like an
idiot. Ed sighed. He imitated Winry and said,
"Edward! I'm worried about you! What man is forcing you to be a woman for him? Tell
me his name and I'll kill him. Its not that I have anything against you going gay, you just
shouldn't have to dress up as a woman for him! Tell him you don't need him! Yes, that'll
do it! Just dump his ass"
Hughes continued laughing as he rolled on the floor. Ed got up and continued to imitate
Winry by putting a hand on his hip and pretending he was holding a wrench. He flung it
around as he said,
"Why do you wait so long to call? I worry so much about you. You could be dead for all I
know! And you never tell me anything so I don't even know if you're in danger or
anything. And how about you only calling me when you need something? You only call
when you need me to repair
MY auto mail. I mean, you call up, have me come to the city, and I find you roughed up so
bad. And you won't even tell me why or how. I mean, I worry so much. And not to
mention I should know what you've been doing to MY auto mail. I mean, that stuff costs
money you know. Do you work? Can you pay for it? No. I work; I buy the parts and all the
metals to make auto mail. That's a lot of money. But do you care? No. You go around and
break it once every couple of weeks! Auto mail is meant to be loved, not tortured and
killed. Take care ofMY auto mail! You hear me?"
Ed took a deep breath and started dancing around like a crazed fan girl. He squealed like
Winry and said,
"Oh my gosh! I just thought of something! If you're gay, then you'd be interested this
wonderful guy who lives across town. He's so sweet. He cooks, so you wouldn't have to,
and he loves dogs. Oh, I just know you two would beperfect together! I can hear the
wedding bells now!"
Hughes' voice had long since died of laughter and he was walking over to get a drink of
water. All the while, laughing as hard as he could.
When he came back, he sat down next to Edward.
"Ed, you don't need her to come down here."
"Huh?"
"You got it all down."
He giggled and took another sip of his water.
"What do you mean?"
"Just act like her."
"Hmm…"
Ed put his hand on his chin and rubbed it.
"That's not a bad idea."
He suddenly got up and went to the phone. He took a deep breath as he dialed her number
for the second time that day.
Ж
Ed hung up the phone and sighed.
"She's coming anyway."
Hughes laughed and put his arms behind his head.
"She's a perfect role model."
Ed sighed and put his head in his hands.
"Dammit! What am I gonna do? She's gonna find out about everything."
Hughes looked over at Edward and asked with curiosity,
"Why don't you just tell her yourself?"
Ed sighed.
"No reason."
"Liar."
Ed closed his eyes and thought for a moment. He then whispered,
"You can't laugh."
"I swear."
"Really?"
"Cross my heart and hope to die."
Ed took a deep breath and crossed his arms.
"I just don't want her to be involved."
He paused.
"I mean, what she thinks happens, is no where's near as dangerous as what does happen."
Hughes nodded his head.
"I understand."
Ed looked over at Hughes.
"Really?"
"Yea."
"How?"
Hughes took a deep breath.
"Well…"
He paused.
"You can't laugh this time."
"I swear."
"Alright."
He paused and sighed.
"Well… sometimes I don't like to tell me wife what goes on around here, yano?"
He closed his eyes.
"She gets all worried and concerned if she ever thinks I'm in danger. And it's the same
way."
"Huh?" Edward questioned.
"She always assumes about less dangerous things."
Ed bowed his head and sighed.
"Women are confusing." Ed declared.
Hughes smiled and patted Ed's shoulder.
"Yes, they are."
Suddenly, Roy walked in.
"What this I hear about women being confusing?"
Ed sulked in a pit of black and growled at Roy.
"Oh, we were just talking about how Gracia gets when I snore at night."
Hughes covered.
"Really?"
Roy questioned, unconvinced.
"Yep. Right little buddy?"
He nudged Ed.
Ed ignored Hughes and got up.
He then sighed and without turning around said,
"Colonel, my friend, Winry Rockbell, is coming to see me tomorrow. Don't mess with me
then. And certainly don't mess with her."
And with that, Edward stormed off.
"I think he's mad at you." Hughes said with a nervous smile.
"I guess so." Roy said sadly.
Hughes got very close to Roy.
"Something tells me, you don't like that."
Roy ignored him.
"Hmm…" Hughes then began pondering something.
He then looked like he got an idea. He stepped away from the Colonel and took a deep breath.
"Oh no Colonel! I have a lie detector with me!"
Hughes said comically and pulled out a calculator.
"Now, tell the pretty device all about your horrible hatred for Ed and we'll see if it's true or not."
He put it right under Roy's mouth and said,
"Come on, prove your hatred!"
Roy swatted the Calculator away and stared at Hughes.
"Come here Hughes, I want 'ta tell you a secret." Roy said and motioned for Hughes to
come closer so he could whisper something in his ear.
Hughes did so and smiled.
Roy then whispered,
"So, you want to know a secret?"
"Yea, tell me the secret!" Hughes pleaded.
"Alright, but, you can't tell ANYBODY. And I mean that."
"Yes, yes. I know. I won't tell anyone."
"Alright… well… the secret is."
He paused.
"You're an idiot."
"Why?" Hughes asked, tauntingly.
"Is it because you like Ed?"
"No its, cuz you're an idiot."
"Whatever." Hughes said, and walked away.
"I don't like Edward." Roy thought.
"Do I?"
Ж
Ж
Ж
Okay, I originally had it stop with just, "You're an idiot." But I thought that was mean to
poor Hughes so I changed it. hehe. Anyway, I am sitting here eating strawberries and my
keyboard is all red with strawberry juice. Its kinda funny. I'll have to clean it off before I get
in trouble. lol. Well, okay, apparently, I might not even be gone for more than a day.
Soyea, I thought that would make everyone happy. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter.
And please Review. I don't care if I already have chapter 14 up, I still want you to review.
lol. It helps, believe it or not. So yea. Thanks for listening to my ramble and wish me luck
with my essay :) Byes!