Chapter 5
Author's Note: I updated a little faster this time because I was on a roll and anxious for the dialogue I kept thinking up and adding to in my head. If you read a little carefully, you can see some "inside humor". This chapter takes place after where we left off in the last chapter. (I even added the last sentence of the last chapter in, if you see.) I just started a temporary website because my other was shut down. it is at . Please visit it! I hope you enjoy these next chapters! (Well, chapter 5 and a half chapter after it...)
Author's Note: Rating increased for some language on this chapter!
Oh, Meredith… What have you gotten yourself into? Izzie thought, almost crying herself. Meredith had stopped crying, leaving only whimpers and sniffles. She hadn't prepared herself as well as she thought she had. "Meredith… you have to tell him…" Izzie said softly, although she hadn't entirely wanted to say it out loud. Meredith sniffed and rubbed her nose on her orange sleeve. "I don't think I can," she said sadly, almost watering again.
"Who's is it?" Izzie asked. She could've answered this herself; she thought it was Finn. It had to be. She was always at his house overnights and he stayed over late. If Meredith slept with Derek, she'd had known about it. (After all, the walls were almost paper thin.)
Meredith didn't answer. She didn't want to answer it, forcing her mind to believe she didn't know. But she did, and it made her burst into tears again. How could she tell the man that was married to a different woman? That the girl he had a one-night stand with was pregnant- with his baby? She sobbed. Meredith was rambling, something she did when she cried. She rambled this time about how she was such a slut. And now she'd be a pregnant whore. Izzie didn't understand a word she was saying, except bits and pieces of how Meredith should have been more careful and should have kept taking birth control after her and Derek stopped seeing each other.
"Meredith, do you know who's it is?" Izzie thought she'd ask; you never could predict Meredith…
"Yes! I know w-who's it is!" Meredith wailed.
"Who's is it?"
Meredith hesitated. She could lie, but then she could tell the truth. "Derek's!" she yelled again. "God, I am such a whore!" she put her head in her hands.
"Shhh…. Meredith, you're not a whore…"
"Yes I am! I'm a stupid, pregnant whore!"
"No, you're not,"
"Yes, I am. And there's nothing you can do."
Izzie froze. Meredith was kind of right. Meredith is Meredith. And there's many ways to describe her, some ways better than others. But if there was one thing for sure, it was that she was, indeed, scary and damaged. Or dark and twisty; Izzie couldn't decide between the best.
Izzie and Meredith sat there, until Meredith's beeper buzzed. It was Dr. Shepherd. Great, she thought sarcastically.
"Are you gonna tell him?" Izzie looked Meredith straight in the eye.
"I have to, don't I?"
"You don't have to, but it's the right thing to do…"
"Ughhh… I'll just wait for the right time."
"Which will be?"
"When I'm ready to tell him."
Izzie and Meredith sat in silence for a little while, until Meredith decided to get up and answer her page.
Izzie shot up. "Oooo, can I tell Christina?" she asked eagerly.
"No. She'll win 10 bucks."
"Huh?"
"Never mind… I don't want anyone to know."
"Yeah, good luck with that… the only thing that spreads faster then disease in this hospital is gossip."
"Yeah, well… seriously, don't tell anyone."
Meredith walked down the hallways, up the elevator and into the patient's room in which she was paged from. But there showed no evidence of a patient. This spooked Meredith out. Could he have moved the patient already? Derek walked into the room, creeping up on Meredith from behind.
"You've been avoiding me." He said in the McDreamy way of his. "Why?"
Meredith starred at him, making sure she sent the message that meant she was still trying to avoid him.
"Is it because of what happened?" he asked, hoping that would be the worst of it.
"Well, duh!" Meredith said childishly. "I do not like being the adulterous bitch! You did the same thing as Addison did. And you blame her for breaking your marriage!"
He was befuddled. He didn't see that coming. Meredith couldn't stop and control herself.
"I just had an emotional break down! I had to go with the awkward looks from George and Izzie and Callie and Addison! I have done something that has ruined my life. Not just your marriage, but my life! You have ruined my life! Seriously! Sleeping with you was the worst thing I have ever done!" Meredith said this so fast; he only understood the last sentence she yelled. Not the best thing to hear, he thought.
"Why have I ruined your life?" Derek asked, wanting to know what he did that was so bad that she exaggerated so harshly.
Meredith couldn't catch herself.
"I'm pregnant!" she yelled, tears breaking loose and piling onto he cheeks and drifting onto her scrubs. She realized what she had done. She just let it slip; and she can't take it back. She looked up at Derek. His jaw was slightly dropped, trying to soak it in.
"Is it…mine?"
"Yes." She whined and sniffed.
"Are you sure?"
"Me and Finn haven't…"
"Oh…" he said softly. "So what does this mean?"
"It means I'm pregnant with your baby."
"I have to tell her…" he whispered. He was talking about Addison. That's almost what Meredith was thinking, except Meredith was picturing more of a Meredith verses Addison catfight with lots of hair pulling and name-calling. Hopefully Meredith's imagination was just the hormones.
Meredith blew her nose in a tissue and threw it in the trash beside the hospital bed.
"I have to go, uh, check on patients…" she said as she stood up. She walked to the door, hoping he wouldn't follow her. Derek softly grabbed her arm right before she reached the doorway.
"Meredith, we'll figure this out…somehow…"
She soaked in his words and walked on.
Chapter 5 ½
MERDITH'S HOME
"I told him."
Meredith said to Izzie when she sat down on the stool in her kitchen.
"And?"
"He's telling her."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"McDreamy telling McSatan he's McDaddy with McMeredith…" Izzie agreed: that was way to many McNames. The conversation continued with Meredith, who stuffed a chocolate brownie in her mouth moments before, with chocolate sticky around the edge of her lips.
"I think she'll try and kill me," she said half-humorously that it made Izzie laugh.
"Maybe she'll sell your internal organs for cash," Izzie played along, and she chuckled a little harder.
"You can never be sure with Addison."
"Do you wanna watch some surgery tapes and order take-out?" Izzie asked randomly.
"Seriously. I'm so craving Thai Fry from that place on the corner." Meredith said excitedly. Izzie laughed and Meredith smiled.
DEREK'S TRAILER
Derek stood outside his trailer thinking about what to say. He could give the news to her smoothly and ease it, or he could straight out say it. Either way he would break her heart. He would just have to be a man and tell her, stand his ground and be a responsible adult. Yeah, right. He thought again. Derek took a few steps and turned the handle. He pushed it, taking a deep breath. He stepped inside the warm, pizza smelling trailer. Obviously Addison ordered out for the two of them. She was sitting at the table with a slice of pizza in one hand, the other flipping through a catalog. She looked up at him.
"Hi, honey." She said sweetly.
"What? Oh, uh, hi…" he was distracted with words in his head.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Something."
"Nothing is wrong. Seriously."
"Okay, well, I'm looking for new bed sheets." She looked down the page in the catalog. and scanned it. "I'm thinking about flannel. They have really nice sets of red and grey flannel."
Derek didn't pay much attention. "Addison, we have to talk."
She flipped the page and took a bite of her pizza. She didn't tune to what he said. "Oh! Look at these! These have little paw prints on them… awww…" she said.
"Addison, we have to talk about something important,"
"Ewe, that sheet is ug-a-ly…" she said about a brown tie –dyed sheet set, still not listening.
"Addison!"
"What about silk?"
"Addison Marie! Look at me!" he said impatiently.
She finally looked up. He had never used her middle name in anger like that. He used it when they were, you know, but never when he was mad.
"Addison, I have to tell you something and, uhmm, you might want to, uh, listen." He said calmly.
"Okay, shoot." She encouraged him. She was in such a good mood. Why did he have to ruin it?
"Meredith is pregnant." He said softly, trying not to send any messages.
"I knew that woman would get knocked up sooner or later." Addison said. She took the last bite of her pizza and reached for another.
Derek rubbed his forehead with his finger and thumb, something he did when he was stressed.
"No, Addison. Meredith is pregnant." He stressed a little further. She understood. She dropped her slice of pizza smack-dab on the page of the catalog.
"Oh…" she whispered. "It's yours, isn't it," she asked, just wanting to know if she was getting the right drift.
"Yes… I slept with her, at, prom…" he explained nervously, putting breaks between some words.
"Oh…" she formed tears in the corner of her eyes. "Um, well, uh…" she handed him the pizza box, with half of a pizza left in it. "Leave."
"What? This is my house!" he almost yelled.
"Yeah, well, I'm kicking you out."
Derek didn't want to get angry and do something he'd regret. He backed up and held the box in one elbow and opened the door with the other hand. He stepped and pulled the door shut. He heard her cry as soon as the door closed all the way. Derek looked up at the sky and went to his car and got in.
He was going to where every surgeon goes to think. The O.R Board.
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