The doorbell rang for the fourth time by the time Logan got to the door. He pulled it open and got ready to yell at whatever idiot decided three in the morning was a good time for a visit. The words stopped in his throat. Goren didn't look good at all. He could barely stand, and Logan was surprised he'd actually made it there in that condition. "What the hell happened to you?"

Logan grabbed him when he lost his balance and pulled him into the apartment. It was rare that Goren had trouble with words, but he stumbled over them now. "Uh, you mind if I use your, uh..." He trailed off for a moment, looking for the word he wanted. "...couch?"

"Sure. As long as you don't puke all over it."

"Don't worry. I already did that."

He'd been hanging out with Goren for three years now, and he'd only seen him puking-ass drunk two or three times, always when he was deeply hurt and couldn't manage that pain. "What the hell happened?"

"I stopped off for a few drinks."

"Alone?"

"Yeah, alone."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Because I got shit to deal with and no one can help me with it." He looked at Logan, trying unsuccessfully to focus on him. Logan led him to the couch as he mumbled, "I'm not Maggie's father."

"We knew that, Einstein."

"Well, Eames...she knows it, too, and she fuckin' threw it in my face."

That surprised Logan. "You guys have a fight?"

"You could say that."

"How is Maggie?"

Logan wasn't sure how to interpret the look on his friend's face, and he wasn't sure he could have even if he was sober. "Sh-she wants me to be her daddy."

"You are her daddy, stupid."

Goren looked confused, and Logan mused that it wasn't hard to confuse him when he was like this. "No, I'm not."

"Yeah, you are. You may not be her father, but you are the only daddy she's ever had." He got a blanket from the closet. "Go to sleep before you hurt yourself. We'll talk about it when your brain starts working again. You're gonna be a blast at work tomorrow."

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Eames approached Logan's desk first thing in the morning. "Did you know Bobby called in this morning, Mike?"

"No, he didn't. I called in for him."

"Why? What's wrong? Where is he?"

"Worried, Eames?" She grabbed the front of his shirt and glared at him. He held his hands up defensively. "Okay, okay...back off. He showed up at my place in the middle of the night, drunk off his ass and babbling about not being Maggie's father."

She released his shirt and stepped back. "Where is he?"

"On my couch, dead to the world. What did you do to him, Alex?"

"I need to talk to him."

"No shit. But he's not gonna be in any shape to talk for awhile." He sighed as he pulled his things together. "We've gotta go talk to a witness. We'll take you to lunch when we get back and you can tell us what's going on. I didn't get shit out of him this morning."

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Logan and Barek watched Eames push her food around her plate. She looked at Logan. "What did he tell you?"

"Just that he's not Maggie's father and you threw that in his face. I told you I didn't get much from him."

Barek was frowning. "Did you really do that, Alex?"

She nodded miserably. "I was angry. Ricky showed up in the middle of the night and started a fight, and he made Maggie cry. Then Bobby started pushing buttons because he was mad and...well, I said the first thing that popped into my head that would hurt him. I told him Maggie's not his daughter. I shouldn't have said that."

Logan snorted. "Oh, definitely you shouldn't have said that." He dunked a roll into his soup and glanced at Barek. After he'd swallowed, he said, "Look, Alex, I know you're all wrapped up in coping with your marriage, and I'm sorry it's not working out for you. Really. If you'd married a guy who deserved you, well, things would be different for everyone. But you've been so involved with your life that you've lost touch with Bobby. No--don't argue with me. I know you have. Because if you hadn't, you would have seen how close to the edge he was skirting after you got married. He actually started to lose it. And then you had Maggie. I tried hard to get him back from the edge, but there wasn't anything I could do for him. But Maggie...she pulled him back, and that was something no one else could do. I really don't think you know how much that baby means to him. Hell, I love Maggie to death, but I could live without her if I had to. I wouldn't like it, but I could. He can't." He debated the next thing he was about to say, deciding it wasn't going to hurt Goren for her to hear it. "When you got married, you took away part of his world, his stability, and something else I haven't been able to identify. Maggie gave most of that back to him. Don't use her against him, Alex. Nothing could hurt him worse than that. So if you really intended to hurt him, you struck a bull's-eye." He finished his soup. "Look, girls, I'm gonna go and check on him. I'll meet you back at the squad."

He got up and pulled out his wallet. Dropping thirty dollars on the table to cover the tab, he left the diner.

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Eames looked up from her desk for the hundredth time since they'd gotten back to the squad room, watching for Logan to return. She was surprised when he got off the elevator with Goren. She watched her partner cross to his desk and sit down, pulling off his sunglasses and scrubbing his face with both hands. "Bobby?"

He held up a hand. "If you're going to apologize, don't."

"But..."

He shook his head, then regretted it. He coughed, waiting for a wave of nausea to pass. "Don't," he repeated. "I don't want to hear it."

She leaned closer. "How are we going to work this out if you won't talk to me?"

"I don't want to talk. I'm done talking. I...I hurt enough, Eames."

"I don't want to hurt you, Bobby."

"You should have thought of that long ago."

"I know. I..."

Again he waved his hand, resigning himself to the fact that he wasn't going to get out of it. They really did need to talk. "Not here, Eames. Okay?"

"Will you talk to me after work?"

"Will you give me a choice?"

"No."

"Then I'll talk to you after work."

She smiled, and it troubled her when he turned away and did not smile back.

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The only reason they went back to his apartment was because he couldn't think of anywhere else to go. He was still hurting, and he didn't really want to be with her right now. But, as always, he gave in to her. He knew they needed to talk, and he understood that she wanted to make things right. He wanted that, too. That was why he finally gave in to her. He really wanted them to be okay. He pointed to the kitchen. "You still have ice cream in the freezer, if you want it. I'll be right back."

He went into the bathroom and pulled open the medicine cabinet. Dumping two aspirin into his hand, he closed it and looked at his reflection. God, he looked like shit. He didn't feel much better. Turning on the water, he grabbed the glass from the back of the sink and filled it. After downing the aspirin, he splashed water onto his face and into his hair. Not feeling any better, he headed back into the living room. He heard her moving around in the kitchen, but he sat down on the couch, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. His head was pounding and he still felt sick to his stomach.

He groaned softly when her fingers weaved their way into his wet hair. She continued to smooth his hair back until he opened his eyes to look at her. She was trying to be comforting. She really didn't know what to do right now. "Go home to your husband," he whispered, wanting, but not wanting her to go. He really did want her to stay. He wanted to protect her, to hold her, to love her...but he just couldn't get past the fact that she belonged to someone else. It was a position she had willingly put herself in. No one had forced her to marry Ricky, although...if he had just been more clear in letting her know how he felt...maybe...Screw that. He refused to live his life on what could have been, or even what should have been. He was stuck with what was. "That's where you belong, not here."

She set her hands in her lap and was quiet for a moment, studying him. Finally, she asked, "Why did you kiss me yesterday?"

He let his breath out slowly. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have done that. But I...I was hurting so badly...and I...needed...something...something that didn't... didn't hurt." He sighed. Kissing her had been the wrong thing to do. That's what he got for acting without thinking. He really needed to stop doing that. "I still haven't found it." Well, that wasn't entirely true. He found it with Maggie. He was still struggling with Eames.

She moved away from him, closer to the far end of the couch. Give him his space... "I guess it was a bad day for both of us."

"The day was fine. It was the night that sucked." He tilted his head to the side. "Eames, why were you in bed with me when I woke up?"

"I'm sorry about that. I just...I wanted to be close to you. That's all."

"Your dad said...uh, we didn't expect you to be there at all. I suppose I should know by now not to try to second-guess you. I think I'll just stay on the couch from now on. Um, I really would appreciate it if you wouldn't do that again. Y-you know how I feel, dammit, and that just isn't fair to me. You always had a chance with me, Eames. But you chose him instead, and we both have to live with that."

Although his words hurt, she knew he was right, and his use of the phrase 'from now on' gave her hope for their future, whatever it would be. "I'm sorry, Bobby. I really, really am. I should have gone out onto the couch, and I should never, ever have used Maggie against you. You are the best part of her life right now. I've been wrong about a lot of things, and I really wish things were different."

"So change them. You're the only one who can do that. As much as I would love to shoot the bastard, that's not a real option for me."

"It's not that easy. Not when you refuse..."

His anger flared. "No! No, that isn't what I meant and you know it. I'm not going to share you with him, Eames. As long as you wear his ring on your finger, things are as they are. You are not going to dump this in my lap."

Without a word, she slid the ring off her finger and set it on the coffee table. "There."

"It's not that easy and you know it." Had his mood been different, he would have laughed. He picked up the ring and turned it over in his fingers. It was a simple gold band, unadorned, unembellished...a lot like her marriage, without...passion. He took her hand and slid it back onto her finger, his gut wrenching as he wished it was his ring he was placing there. "You made a commitment. As long as you remain in the marriage, you are bound by the promises you made."

She looked at his hand, where it still held hers. As if suddenly realizing he was holding her hand, he released it. She sighed. "I don't stay because of the promises, Bobby."

He looked confused. "I don't understand."

"If I divorce him, what happens to Maggie?"

"She doesn't have to worry about him any more."

"Bullshit. You don't know him like I do. He will demand visitation, to use Maggie to get back at me. And I have no grounds to have it denied or supervised. He's never hurt her, but that doesn't mean he never will. As much as he resents her, he will blame her if I leave him. Her and you, especially if I go to you after I leave him."

His mind froze on what she said about Maggie and he didn't really hear anything she said after that. "He...he wouldn't. Why would he seek visitation? He doesn't even like her."

"You think that matters?"

An odd look settled on his face. His eyes were hard when he looked at her. "If he ever did anything to her..."

"I know, Bobby. I know. And that's exactly why I stay...why I have stayed since she was born. I...I was ready to leave him, and then I got pregnant. At first, I thought things would change after she was born. They didn't. Everything got so much worse between us, because he blamed me for getting pregnant."

"He blamed...you? Alone?" She nodded. His frown deepened. "It takes two to make a baby. He can't be that stupid."

"He's not. But he thinks that because he never wanted a child, it was my fault for letting him get me pregnant. It doesn't really matter any more. What matters is that you understand that I don't stay because of any sense of duty or affection for him. I'm not being stubborn about that. Now I stay to protect her and to protect you."

"Me?"

She sighed. As wrong as she had been to use Maggie against him, she now saw that Maggie was the only way to get through to him. And although she felt very much the same way, he didn't need to hear that right now. "Maggie loves you more than anyone else, even me, sometimes. What would she do if you weren't around? As long as I remain married to him, I can protect her from him. He won't harm her, and she has you. He has no clue how close she is to you, and we have to keep it that way. I don't understand why he hates you the way he does, but everything would get so much more complicated if he had any idea what Maggie meant to you. He knows she likes you, but he seems okay with that. He even seems okay with thinking you put up with her. But if he knew..." She shook her head slowly. "He can't know."

He remained silent, thinking about the scenario she just placed in front of him. Maggie...it had never occurred to him that Ricky would want anything to do with Maggie if Eames left him. He had just assumed she was being stubborn, hoping things would improve. But now...everything took on a different light...a very dark light. The thought that there could come a time neither of them would be able to keep Maggie safe...he felt a helplessness that fueled an anger he was having trouble getting a handle on. If she hadn't married him, she would never have had Maggie, and yet, remaining married to him now, when she was miserable within the marriage, was the only way she had to keep Maggie safe. When she touched his arm, drawing him from his thoughts, he looked at her but moved his arm from beneath her hand. She paid no attention to his withdrawal. "Bobby, you were right."

He looked confused. "About what?"

"Somebody has to put Maggie first. I have been so wrapped up in keeping her away from Ricky and trying to make him..."

When she faltered, trying to find the words she wanted, he offered, "Into someone else?"

He was right. She had been trying to make Ricky into someone he was not, and she had failed miserably. "You have always made her your first priority, over the job, over me, over everything. She is lucky to have you, and I have always believed that."

He sighed softly, feeling a vague restlessness that made him irritable. He tried not to snap at her. "So what do you want from me?"

He was so tired of people asking and expecting more from him than he was able, or willing, to give. John wanted his daughter to be happy, and he firmly believed her happiness lay with him, not with her life as it was. Maggie wanted him to be her father, and that was not something he had any control over. It broke his heart not to be able to give her what she wanted. Eames wanted, well, it seemed she wanted him, and if that were the case, she should have done something about it before she married Waters. He would never have turned her away, like he had to now.

"One thing, Bobby. I only want one thing from you." He looked apprehensive and she smiled. "It's something I think you'll be able to do."

He shrugged, feining an indifference he did not feel. "What is it?"

She gently took his hand, relieved when he didn't pull away. "Keep making her your first priority," she said softly.

"You...you aren't angry...? I...I don't get it..."

Her fingers tightened around his hand. "I have never resented your love for Maggie, or her love for you. You have no idea how glad I am that she has you in her life. Bobby, if you ever stepped away..."

He shook his head adamantly. "No. I-I couldn't do that, ever." She seemed to relax some. He leaned closer to voice his own greatest fear. "If I ever leave Maggie's life, it will be because you have taken her away."

"Is that what you were thinking? I would never do that, no matter how angry with you I got. Maggie is the most important person in my life, and I would never force you away from her. I couldn't do that to either of you. I do have a heart, Goren."

"I never thought you didn't. Call it one of my irrational fears. But I would never have thought you would have used her against me, either, Eames."

She looked away from him, gathering her thoughts to try to explain what she had felt at the time. It had nothing to do with his relationship with Maggie, which she had always found endearing. "I feel guilty about not spending more time with Maggie as it is, and I felt you were accusing me of not taking good enough care of her, not treating her right. So I lashed out at you."

"You should know me better than that. I...understand your situation, whether I approve of it or not. It's not my place to judge you. I know how much you love her, and I understand how hard it is to be away from her. Believe me, you'll never hear me complain about spending time with Maggie. What I never understood was why you put up with him. Now I know...and I really wish there was something I could do." He shook his head. "But there's not." He got up, pulling his hand from hers and withdrawing again. He tried but he couldn't quite keep the bitterness from his tone. "I know my place. Don't worry about your daughter; she will always be first in my heart, okay? You have a husband. Go home to him." The words left a bad taste in his mouth, but he felt a need to say them, to let her know...what? She already knew how he felt. "I'll see you tomorrow. Lock the door when you leave."

"Bobby..." He stopped before he got to the hallway but he didn't turn around. She repeated her question from the day before. "Are we okay now?"

He didn't turn around so she could not see his face. "Yes, Eames. We're okay now."

She watched him walk down the hall to the bedroom and heard the door close. She hated when he pushed her away, but she understood why he had to. She stayed where she was for a minute, letting her eyes wander around the room. No one who knew him would be surprised by the bookshelves that dominated his living room. But there was something else on those shelves that should not have surprised her, but did, everytime she saw them. Bobby had few pictures adorning his apartment. Very few. And every one of them was of Maggie.

When he was certain she had gone, he came back out of the bedroom. Hesitating by the phone, he thought about calling Logan. He could use his friend's humor right about now. Simply put, though, he just didn't have the energy. He wandered into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Taking out a beer, he headed back for the couch and flipped on the television.

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She drove around for a long time, thinking. There had to be something she could do, some way she could leave Ricky and still keep Maggie safe. Just the thought of anyone harming her little girl was enough to spin her directly into fight mode. And she refused to even think about what Goren would do. No matter how hard she thought, though, she could not think of a way out of her situation.

We're okay now. She really wanted to believe him, and she knew he wanted to believe it, too. But how could anything be okay when so much of everything was...wrong. First of all, how could she have misjudged Ricky so thoroughly? She'd taken him for a kind, loving man, and he had been in the beginning. Then things began to change...and it really got bad after she got pregnant.

Eames frowned. More and more she was beginning to realize that nothing within her marriage was going to get better; everything was going to continue getting worse. What was more, she had come to realize it wasn't Ricky she wanted to be with any longer. She had been unfair to Bobby, and she had to make that up to him, if she could. Her entire life was spinning out of control, and she had to do something to stop it. She just wasn't sure what, and she was afraid that by slamming on the brakes, the resulting forces were going to blow everything apart.