Title: Once You Go Black...
Written by: jolieXD
Summary: Sohma Yuki has been dealing with Sohma Hatsuharu's split personalities for most of their lives. He knows how to tame a Black Haru and he knows how to make a Black Haru. But it's no secret that Hatsuharu has feelings for the Rat. Could a couple wrong words create a Black Haru that even he can't control?
Disclaimer: I don't want to say it, because everyone knows I don't know Fruits Basket. d;
Warnings: Slash—boy&boy—but nothing explicit, I promise, because I don't want to have to have a high rating on this story—like, at all. They annoy me. So, there will just be a hint here and there. Yep—for those of you who don't like graphic content, like me. However, for those who do... ;D Look closely, lovelies, and you may see—or not. It depends on if I feel like it or not. Soooorry
Rating: T, for themes of homosexuality, as mentioned above, and—possibly—vile language.
Author's Notes #1: Okay, okay, I totally know that I'm really, really, really behind in writing this. An entire month again? Jeez. Trust me when I say I have not had the time I've needed to plan out this chapter. I'm still not really sure what's going to happen… Shh. -insert nervous laughter- I know that's terrible, but it's true. --' If you could see my face as I'm writing this, you would sooo see my shame. Forgive me, my dear, lovely, faithful, awesomely awesome readers and reviewers.
Author's Notes #2: Special dedication to Kairi Nemuri. :) It was her 16th birthday on the 9th. (I'm using the past tense because I'm sure this is going to be late. Isn't that pathetic?)
XOXOXO
jolieXD
Once You Go Black
Begin—Eight: Sohmas cannot make things easy.
Sohma Yuki scowled down at the open textbook in front of him. Words took interest of his vision, all relevant in nature to the subject, but irrelevant to his cluttered, chaotic thoughts. The boy shook his head and wearily leaned forward over the text, head in his hands. How could he work like this?
He couldn't. His mind was similar to what he had always assumed the inside of Hatsuharu's brain resembled.
Huh. Strange that he would—
Yuki sighed again. No, it was best not to ponder on Haru right now. The boy leaned back in his chair, hands falling away from his face, and stared up at the ceiling. But… He grimaced because he could not stop the train of thought.
It wasn't as if he could just ignore the Sohma boy forever, though. How could he? They attended the same school, lived in the same area. They were part of the same family! But, worse, the other boy was utterly fascinated with Yuki. And, goodness knows, that complicated everything.
To himself, Yuki nodded with exhaustion in his every feature. Decidedly, he told himself that if there was one thing he could live without, it was Sohma Hatsuharu and his infatuation.
But, even as he thought it, Yuki knew it wasn't true. He knew that if, even while he tried his hardest to ignore the boy, he still listened for Haru's voice in the corridors, looked for that tell-tale splash of white hair among the sea of brown and black every so often, or barely contained his real thoughts when the boy was merely in the vicinity, then how was he to go a lifetime?
He knew that. He did, but he couldn't quite convince himself to correct it just yet.
The worst of the worst, however, was that it was no longer just Sohma Hatsuharu whom he found he was neglecting. It was also Shigure and Kyou. And it was Honda-san.
That realization had been the icing on the cake—when he returned home late from school two days ago to Honda-san's laughter, only to hear it cease the moment he walked into the room.
Still, every day, every evening, there was a single knock at his bedroom door around suppertime. Yuki never answered it, but he knew… He knew that Honda-san was still attempting to reach him. And he knew he was on the verge of giving in.
Perhaps he could… Perhaps he could continue to avoid Hatsuharu—only Hatsuharu. Did he—Could he…? Yuki didn't know if he could manage it. Yet… He did know that it was the only way for his and the rest of the Sohmas' lives to remain semi-peaceful.
But could he?
Sohma Yuki set his jaw and nodded decidedly as a knock came at his bedroom door. He let out a sharp breath and raked a hand through his hair once, then pushed up from his chair and answered the door.
Honda-san's astonished, blue eyes were the first, renewed connection to the outside world.
"Enough is enough." Yuki said, more to himself than to Honda Tohru, but the girl nodded, flustered, and hastened to follow the Rat to the dining table for supper.
He was near.
Yuki had to tell himself under his breath to breathe evenly—in and out, in and out. He had to tell himself under his breath to turn his eyes away—watch the twelfth year students, Ueno-sempai and Terauchi-sempai, wave pleasantly in his direction. He had to tell himself under his breath to engage in distracting conversation—ask Honda-san about…
Wait. Where'd Honda-san run off to?
Oh, no. She was with him; the Cat, as well. Why was she…? Didn't she know that—? No, of course, she didn't. Yuki sighed heavily. She had to be informed, didn't she? This couldn't… This couldn't continue… but, even as he approached, Yuki knew that he would regret it later.
Or soon, he thought when his eyes drifted past Honda Tohru to the black-and-white-haired boy she was speaking with and felt his heart skip with something foreign to him.
Meanwhile, Haru's words trailed to a stop, mid-sentence as his gray eyes settled on the dark-haired boy, causing Honda-san to turn as well.
"Oh,Yuki-kun!" She paused, taking in the similar expressions between Yuki and Haru's faces, and furrowed her brow. "Is… something wrong?" Honda-san inquired, caution in her tone.
It took a moment for Yuki to find his voice. "No," He told Honda-san, clearing his throat and conspicuously glaring at the Ox. "Nothing. Can I speak with you for a moment?"
Honda-san nodded hesitantly, confusion in her eyes.
"What?"
The incredulity in her tone almost made Yuki wince, but his gaze didn't waver. Guilt chewed at his thoughts and the unshakable feeling of stupidity lodged his words in his throat, but he wouldn't look away.
He knew that he should have expected a reaction like the one he was facing. Yuki knew that Honda-san cared too much for the Sohmas to just turn the other cheek, but she could never truly understand. Matters were very different in the hands of Sohma Akito.
"You mean you're not—?"
The frowning, Sohma boy took a moment to reply, wetting his lips. "Correct." His voice was quiet and subdued because he knew it had been a bad choice from the beginning, in both considering and deciding to avoid Haru further and then telling Honda-san about it. Undeniable regret filled him, and he knew Honda-san must have seen it in his eyes, because she peered at his expression carefully.
Honda Tohru silently watched him for a long while. Then, slowly, she shook her head, a small, sad smile on her mouth.
"Yuki-kun," was all she said for a long time.
When she continued, Yuki was still watching her intently, shocked to see a single tear streak down the right contour of her face. "That's… That's terrible. How could you—?" She gently wiped the tear from her cheek, her smile fading. "I'm sorry. I sound condescending, don't I?"
Honda-san shook her head again, and turned away from him. "I'm sorry. Excuse me." Her voice was so soft as she spoke that Yuki had to question she'd even uttered a single word.
As he watched her small frame fade into a new crowd of students trying to get to class, Yuki felt his heart clench.
What had he caused?
End—Eight: Sohmas cannot make things easy.
for my own purpose, really, but if anyone's interested:
Date Chapter Was Started: November 7th, 2006
Date Chapter Was Finished: November 9th, 2006
Date Chapter Was Posted: November 9th, 2006
Ending Notes: Oooomgosh, could it truly be that I've met my deadline? I think it is! It is 6h21 PM on 11/9/06. Yeeeep. Wow, I'm impressed.
Okay, so I really planned to write more in this—I really did—but I hit a block as I finished that last scene. There's nothing else I can think of to fit Yuki-kun's POV. So, I know it's totally, totally, totally short, but I had to stop. Besides, I'd feel better if I posted on my deadline than wait a couple days to think it over.
Again, happy birthday, Kairi Nemuri. X3 Enjoy 16. (To think I used the past tense for nothing. I'm too lazy to go back and change it—really, I am. Sad, right?)
Thanks to: cajun-beauty, Obob, -little oro-, greywings2, vincents-loverffall, izzyntsherandom, and Kairi Nemuri for reviewing on the last chapter. They're totally appreciated.
Mmkay. That's all until next time, which is hopefully not a month away.
XOXOXO
jolieXD