Movie three
The Calvinbob Hobbespants Movie
Swing123: I have decided to postpone Lord of the Baseball Bats, because I haven't seen it in a while, and forgot most of the good scenes. It will be done, don't worry, but right now, I'm going to follow Garfieldodie's suggestion, and make a Spongebob Movie parody. Remember: Even if you haven't seen these movies, these parodies will still be good.
"I'M A GOOFY GOOBER! ROCK!" screamed the television, in Calvin and Hobbes' house.
"WE'RE ALL GOOFY GOOBERS! ROCK! GOOFY, GOOFY, GOOFY, GOOFY, GOOBER, YEA-A-A-A-A-AHHHHH!"
Calvin grinned as Spongebob Squarepants rocketed into the air with his electric guitar on the TV.
"NOOO!" screamed Plankton as the bucket helmets exploded off the Bikini Bottom citizens.
When it was done, Calvin laughed out loud.
"That... was... GREAT!"
"I must admit," said Hobbes. "The plot was very interesting. Even though I did spot some mistakes. Like the Goofy Goober ice creme? Spongebob was acting like he was drunk! Was there alcohol in it?"
Calvin stopped laughing, and stared at Hobbes.
"Hobbes! It's pretty obvious that they were just so crazed from the ice creme that they did that! I act similar after my Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs."
"And that stuff doesn't have alcohol in it?" asked Hobbes.
"Oh, forget it! Anyway, it was action-y! Do you know what THAT means?"
"Unfortunately, yes." muttered Hobbes. "Another lunatic play, starring Mr-gets-in-trouble-after-every-scene."
"Hobbes! It's hard to carry on a conversation with you, when you mutter like that! I can't hear a word you're saying!"
"And that's just the way I like it."
"WHAT?"
"I said, Half to you."
Calvin rolled his eyes.
"Forget it!" he said. "now lets start! What was the first scene?"
"Does Mr Picky require that we start at the end credits?" asked Hobbes.
"SHUT UP!" screamed Calvin. "The first scene was the Spongebob's dream! Let's get started! MOM! CAN I HAVE A HAMBURGER!"
"Sure." said mom.
Calvin chuckled.
"HOLD THE CHEESE!" he yelled.
Hobbes rolled his eyes.
The Calvinbob Hobbespants Movie
scene one: Spongebob dreams there's burger without cheese.
"We have some kind problem in there." mumbled Hobbes the crab to a bunch of news reporters.
Something was wrong in the Krusty Krab. Very wrong.
"My script says that I can't talk about it 'till Calvin gets here." he said.
Just then, a voice rang out. "THERE HE IS!"
Calvin the sponge steps out of a sleek, black, car, a very serious expression on his face.
"Talk to me, Krabs." he said.
"don't you already know?" asked Hobbes the crab.
Calvin the sponge's eyes bulged, and he felt his temper rising.
"YOU MORON! IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE I'L..."
All of Bikini Bottom was staring at him.
"Erm... I mean... naughty crab! Tell me the situation, at once!"
Hobbes the crab sighed and said, "there's a guy in there, who doesn't have cheese on his burger (like that's such a catastrophe)."
"I'm going in!" said Calvin the sponge.
He burst into the Krusty Krab.
"Every thing's gonna be just fine." he said. "I'm the manager of this establishment."
The fish stared at Calvin the sponge.
Then said in dad's voice, "Calvin, what are you doing?"
"Ya got a family, Phil?" he asked.
"Calvin!" yelled this fish. "Get that burger out of my lap!"
Calvin the sponge snapped his fingers in front of the fish's face. "Stay with me, Phil, let's hear about that family!"
The fish glared at Calvin the sponge. "WILL YOU KNOCK THAT OFF, AND GET OUT OF HERE!"
"Now, I want you to do something for me, Phil." said Calvin the sponge. "Say cheese!"
Calvin the sponge bravely put the piece of cheese under the burger.
He then attempted to pick up the fish.
"CALVIN! PUT ME DOWN!"
Calvin the sponge, however, could not lift Phil up.
So, he just kicked him out of his chair, and pushed him to the door.
He kicked the door open, kicked Phil outside and yelled, "ORDER UP!"
Hobbes the crab had disappeared.
Phil jumped to his feet, and stalked for Calvin.
"AAAAA!" Calvin screamed as the monster fish buried him under... Hmmm... he just grabbed his hand, and sternly led him into the house.
Oops.
END OF SCENE ONE OF THE CALVINBOB HOBBESPANTS MOVIE
Dad flung Calvin into his room as Calvin screamed, "IT WAS ALL HOBBES' IDEA!"
SLAM!
"I noticed that I keep hearing that sound; slam." said Hobbes.
"Shut up, fuzzball!" screamed Calvin.
After a few days, Calvin was let out of his room again.
"Ok." said Calvin. "Next was the scene about the Goofy Goober ice creme place."
"Your mom isn't going to give you fifty bowls of ice creme, Calvin."
"Who said anything about ICE CREME?" Calvin pointed at his sandbox. "We're gonna MAKE ice creme!"
"Do you have some kind secret life insurance policy on me?"
"SHUT UP!" said Calvin, walking over to his sandbox.
The Calvinbob Hobbespants Movie
scene two: insane peanut goes insaner and insanest
"Calvin," said Hobbes the starfish. "Insaner and insanest aren't words."
"Be quiet!" yelled Calvin the sponge.
"Hey fellow Goofy Goobers!" yelled the Goofy Goober. "Time to sing!"
"NO!" screamed Hobbes the starfish. "I HATE THAT SONG!"
"Oh I'm a Goofy Goober, YEAH! You're a Goofy Goober, YEAH! We're all Goofy Goobers, YEAH! GOOFY GOOFY GOOBER GOOBER... YEAH!"
Meanwhile, Calvin the sponge, was crying for no particular reason, in the nut bar.
"Ok..." he sobbed. "Pull it together old boy... say, I fell a little better... I don't even remember WHY I was crying."
Hobbes the starfish walked up, didn't say anything, and sat down.
Calvin the sponge waited.
"WELL!" he screamed. "remind me!"
"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a hat." said Hobbes the starfish.
Calvin's eyes nearly popped out of his head.
"YOU MORON! IF WE WEREN'T BEING WATCHED BY BILLIONS OF SCREAMING FANS, I'D PULVERIZE YOU! YOU MORON! YOU IDIOT! YOU MANIAC! YOU..."
Calvin the sponge stopped. The entire Goofy Goober party boat had stopped singing, and was now staring at him.
Calvin the sponge chuckled.
"Heh, heh. My isn't Hobbes a good voice imitator? I mean, if you hadn't seen him, you would've thought it was it me! Heh, heh."
Everyone returned to their business.
Then, the waiter came up. He looked just as bored as Hobbes the starfish.
"Here's your triple goober berry sunrise, sir."
Calvin the sponge's eyes widened.
"Hmmm. Triple goober berry sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those."
"Here ya go." said the waiter.
"OOOOO!" said Calvin the sponge.
He grabbed a spoon, and started gobbling the ice creme down.
"You remember that that's just sand, don't you?" Hobbes the starfish said.
Calvin the sponge didn't hear him.
"Hey waiter!" he yelled. "Let's have another round over here."
The waiter set another triple goober berry sunrise down.
Calvin the sponge tore into it, splattering it all over the place.
"Oh, Mr Waiter! Two more please!"
"I don't want any." said Hobbes the starfish.
"Gobble, loble, laaack sdlsagf!"
"WAI...TOR!" yelled Calvin the sponge, crazed from the sugar.
"Jdkfhdkgdgjhgfjfgobblejdklgkhl!"
"WAITER!" Calvin the sponge screamed slamming his hands onto the table.
"Why do I always get the nuts?" asked the waiter.
END OF SCENE TWO OF THE CALVINBOB HOBBESPANTS MOVIE
"man, I'm glad THAT'S over." said Hobbes. "What's next?"
"Well," said Calvin. "Spongebob went on that journey to get the crown after Neptune accused Mr Krabs, and froze him..."
Calvin thought.
"Oh... OH! The PATTY WAGON!"
"Oh great." Said Hobbes.
The Calvinbob Hobbespants Movie:
scene three: the mission begins.
Calvin the sponge and Hobbes the starfish zoomed down to the bottom of the Krusty Krab.
They ran over to an elevator, and zoomed downward. To...THE PATTY WAGON!
"Shall I show you it's features?" asked Calvin the sponge.
"I've seen the movie, Calvin." sighed Hobbes the satrfish.
Calvin the sponge bit his lips.
"OH FINE!"
Calvin the sponge leaped into the patty wagon, and Hobbes the starfish climbed in.
"SHELL CITY! HERE WE COME!"
The Calvinbob Hobbespants Movie:
scene three and a half: Plankton steals patty
Calvin the plankton burst into the Krusty Krab.
"Hi, old buddy!" he said.
Hobbes the crab wasn't there.
"HOBBES!" screamed Calvin the plankton. "KING NEPTUNE FROZE YOU! REMEMBER!"
Hobbes the crab sighed, and walked into the room, and held still.
"One secret formula to go, please." said Calvin the Plankton.
Hobbes walked into the kitchen.
"HOBBES, GET BACK HERE!" screamed Calvin the plankton. "I'M SUPPOSED TO GET IT!"
Hobbes the crab walked back.
Calvin the plankton walked into the kitchen grumbling to himself.
END OF THE TWO SCENE THREES OF THE CALVINBOB HOBBESPANTS MOVIE.
"Ok." said Calvin. "Now that Spongebob's heading for Shell City, what happened next?"
"The end credits?" asked Hobbes.
"Shut up!" Calvin hissed. "The next GOOD scene was that weird fish with the legs."
"They're called frogfish." voiced Hobbes.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." said Calvin.
The Calvinbob Hobbespants Movie
scene four: Frogfish
"Hey, look. Free ice creme." yawned Hobbes, in the patty wagon.
"WHHEEE!" yelled Calvin pulling up into the drive.
Calvin leaped through a pile of bones to the ice creme stand.
Hobbes yawned and looked down at a skull on the ground.
"How are you doing?" he asked.
Then his eyes bulged.
"What a minute! WAIT! CALVIN!"
"Yeah?" said Calvin turning around.
"WHY DID YOU PUT A PILLOW HERE! THERE SHOULD BE A SKULL!"
The air hissed out of Calvin's lungs.
"Hobbes? May I ask you a personal question?"
"Shoot." said Hobbes leaning back in the patty wagon.
"Have you had the feeling that you might be going insane?" asked Calvin.
"Of corse." said Hobbes. "I live with you."
There was a long moment of silence.
Calvin spun around, and walked up to the ice creme lady.
"Two please." he said.
"Certainly." she said.
She pulled a tray of ice creme out.
"You kids enjoy."
"We're men, lady, but thanks." said Calvin matter-of-factly.
Calvin turned around.
"Ok, Hobbes, lets..."
Something was wrong.
The ice creme lady held onto the ice creme.
"LEGGO!" He yelled yanking on the bowel. "THIS IS MY ICE CREME! GET YOUR OWN!"
Calvin started kicking and screaming, trying to get the ice creme.
"HOBBES! GET OVER HERE AND EAT HER SO I CAN GET MY ICE CREME!" screamed Calvin.
"I'm saving room for the ice creme." yawned Hobbes.
"YOU STUPID CAT! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU..."
Just then, the lady's eyes and hair fell off.
"HEY! COOL!" said Calvin.
The ice creme stand fell over.
Calvin tried to let go of the ice creme but he was stuck to it.
Just then, two eyes popped out of the ground.
Followed by rows of teeth.
"AAAAAAA!" screamed Calvin.
The "ice creme lady" was just part of a giant frogfish's tongue!
Calvin quickly reached up, and bit the arm off the "old lady" he bounced off the frogfish's teeth and landed in the... PLOP!
Dirt.
"Hobbes! You maniac tiger! You were SUPPOSED to drive the car over here, and catch me!"
"What's my motivation?" asked Hobbes.
"YOU MANIAC!" Calvin stood up, and jumped into the Patty Wagon.
The frogfish roared.
"STEP ON IT, HOBBES!" screamed Calvin.
"Step on what?" asked Hobbes.
"THE GAS PEDAL, YOU IDIOT!"
Hobbes slammed his foot into the gas pedal and roared off, the frogfish right behind him.
"JUMP FOR IT HOBBES!" screamed Calvin.
Calvin and Hobbes jumped off the Patty Wagon as the frogfish leaped through the air, and gobbled the whole thing down.
But, it had jumped over the edge of a cliff.
And then, things got worse for the frogfish.
Just then, a huge eel leaped up, and grabbed the frogfish in it's huge jaws.
CHOMP!
"AAAAAA!" screamed Calvin as the eel gobbled it up. "IT'S TOO GRAPHIC!"
"Calvin!"
huh?
END OF SCENE FOUR OF THE CALVINBOB HOBBESPANTS MOVIE
Calvin had just screamed at his mother, who, at the moment, was eating a jelly donut.
"Calvin!" she repeated. "Please keep your comments to yourself!"
"THE GUTS ARE SPILLING OUT!" screamed Calvin, as Hobbes rolled his eyes.
"What did I just tell you, young man?" mom hissed.
"SO... TERRIBLE! THE POOR FISH!"
"CALVIN! GET OUT OF HERE!" screamed mom.
"Well," said Hobbes. "At least you didn't burn a bunch of books, to avoid winter."
"SHUT UP!" snapped Calvin. "Next was that scene about the hired killer, wasn't it?" asked Calvin.
"I believe so, yes." yawned Hobbes.
"OK!" said Calvin. "I'LL be Dennis, and YOU play both parts of Spongebob and Patrick."
"Oh goody." said Hobbes. "I play as Mr Squeakbox, and Dr Pinky."
The Calvinbob Hobbespants Movie:
scene five: Mr Squeakbox meets Dr I been hired to step on you.
"At last!" said Calvin the killer.
Hobbes the sponge yawned and looked up at Calvin the killer.
"May I help you, stupid?"
"WHAT!" said Calvin the killer.
"I said, what's up, doc?"
"The name's Dennis... I mean, Calvin! I've been hired to step on you... I mean, exterminate you." said Calvin the killer.
"Well, I saw a bug over there, Mr exterminator, maybe you could go over there."
"Very funny, Hobbes!" Calvin the killer said. "you know perfectly well what I meant!"
"CUE THE FOOT!" yelled Hobbes the starfish.
"NO!" screamed Calvin the killer. "I'M NOT READY YET!"
SQUASH!
Too late. Bigger boot had already slammed into Calvin the killer.
THE LAME ENDING OF SCENE FIVE OF THE CALVINBOB HOBBESPANTS MOVIE
"Well THAT was a disaster!" Yelled Mr Whine and complain. "Next time, you let ME say cue the foot!"
A huge shadow loomed over Calvin.
"AAAA! DON'T STEP ON ME!"screamed Calvin putting his hands over his head.
It was dad.
"What are you talking about, Calvin?" asked dad.
Calvin glared at Hobbes.
"Ok," he said, after dad left. "The next scene was when Spongebob had to escape from Shell City, and get back to Bikini Bottom!"
"Do you even know what a Bikini is?" asked Hobbes.
Calvin ignored him.
"LETS GO!" he said, exitedly.
The Calvinbob Hobbespants Movie
scene six: Shell City shipped a shipment of shipy stuff! Pretty good tongue twister, huh?
"That was the lamest tongue twister I've ever seen in my life!" said Hobbes the starfish.
"Nobody asked you." said Calvin the sponge.
Just then, a HUGE cyclops burst into the room and...
"Calvin that was a scuba diver wearing one of those 1800's scuba suits."
"Will you shut up?" asked Calvin the sponge. "I'm TRYING to direct a movie!"
... burst into the room, and laughed an ugly laugh!
He then walked over to his desk and pulled out... A GLUE BOTTLE THINGY AND A BOTTLE OF GOOGLY EYES!
Isn't that terrifying and violent!
"Blue's Clues is more violent then THIS." sighed Hobbes the starfish.
"Who asked you?" spat Calvin the sponge.
The cycolps...
"scuba diver."
... the whatever it was stalked over Calvin the sponge and Hobbes the starfish.
"How can we breath if we're in a fish bowl?" observed Hobbes the starfish.
"Quit changing the subject!" said Calvin the sponge, as he was grabbed by the scuba cyclops.
Both were then threw onto a drawing table with a hot lamp over them.
"Your mom is going to kill you." said Hobbes the starfish staring up at the lamp.
Calvin the sponge ignored him.
"Well buddy... this is it." muttered Calvin the sponge under the intense heat.
"Uh-oh... your mom just came outside." warned Hobbes the starfish.
"Shut up! As I was saying, I don't if we're going to make..."
"Calvin, she just saw the lamp. I... uh-oh... I'm leaving!"
Hobbes the starfish jumped up, and ran away.
Calvin the sponge lifted his head.
"HEY!" he yelled. "GET BACK HERE, MORON!"
"CALVIN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"
HUH?
END OF SCENE SIX OF THE CALVINBOB HOBBESPANTS MOVIE
Somehow, Calvin had dragged his dad's work desk out of the house, and was now laying on it with a heat lamp hanging over him from a tree.
And, of corse, Hobbes was nowhere to be seen.
"Mom!" Calvin said. "Don't try to save me! The cyclops will... uh... AAAAAA!"
Calvin attempted his escape, but failed.
He then got pitched back into his room, where Hobbes was waiting on the bed, reading a comic book.
Later, Calvin was freed from prison, again, and tried his luck again with his lunatic play.
"We're almost done, Hobbes." Calvin said.
"well, it took three weeks to do." said Hobbes.
Calvin ignored him.
"Next was the scene where Dennis came back on the oblivious life guard, who didn't do ANYTHING to help Spongebob and Patrick! He was just their stupid boat!"
Hobbes rolled his eyes.
The Calvinbob Hobbespants Movie
scene... which was it? I forgot. Scene question mark: Dennis goes insane next to life guard.
Just then, Dennis leaped form beyond, and tried to step on everybody.
Again.
Hobbes sat back into a lounge chair, and gave everybody blank stares.
Calvin glared at him, then attempted to run away from the evil Dennis!
Just then a huge boat came up, and bonked Dennis on the head: The End!
THE EVEN LAMER ENDING FOR SCENE WHATSIT FOR THE CALVINBOB HOBBESPANTS MOVIE
"gee." said Hobbes. "You must have won the record for lamest scene in America."
"Shut up!" said Calvin. "I got director's block!"
Hobbes rolled his eyes.
"Now then." said Calvin. "At last we come to our closing. Drum roll, please."
Hobbes knocked his fists into a tree trunk making a sort of "drum roll"
"GOOFY GOOBER ROCK! Remember? After Spongebob got the crown back?"
"Mmmm-Hmmm." said Hobbes.
Calvin ran into the attic, returning minutes later with dad's old guitar.
"I hear another slam coming up." warned Hobbes.
The Calvinbob Hobbespants Movie:
final scene: Goofy Goober Insane Rock... I need another word that begins with "G"
"SO YEAH, I'M A KID!" yelled Calvin. "And I'm also a goofball and a wingnut and a knucklehead Mc-whatever it was-tron!"
Hobbes yawned.
"But most of all I'm... I'M... I'M..."
Calvin leaped up, wearing cool sunglasses, and holding his dad's old guitar.
"I'M A GOOFY GOOBER, rock! ROCK!"
Calvin screamed in a high of tone voice.
Hobbes held his ears.
Calvin wouldn't last ten seconds in a choir.
"YOU'RE A GOOFY GOOBER, rock! ROCK!"
Calvin slammed his hands into the guitar making a loud BONG sound as he continued screaming.
"WE'RE ALL GOOFY GOOBERS, rock! ROCK!"
Hobbes had disappeared.
"GOOFY GOOFY GOOFY GOOFY GOOBER, ROCK!"
there was someone coming into the Krusty Krab.
"Put your TOYS away... well all I gotta SAY is when ya tell ME not ta play... I SAY NO WAY! GOOFY GOOBER ROCK!"
"CALVIN!" screamed dad. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY GUITAR!"
uuuuhhhhhh.
Oops.
END OF THE CALVINBOB HOBBESPANTS MOVIE
Calvin had broken one... two... several strings trying to sing the song and... oh no... dad was looming over Calvin, like bigger boot.
"Dad!" complained Calvin. "Let me at LEAST get to the part about the lasers shooting out of the thing! That's the BEST part!"
dad's eyes seemed to turn red.
"THAT WAS MY GUITAR THAT'S BEEN IN MY FAMILY FOR AGES!"
"Ages?" said Calvin. "You look older then THAT!"
"ROOM! NOW!" Calvin's dad managed to say.
"You just have to replace the strings! I didn't destroy that piece of junk!" Calvin screamed, and dad slammed the door.
"wow." said Hobbes. "My future telling abilities about door slamming is great. Maybe I have ESP!"
"SHUT UP!" Calvin spat.
He then moped and pouted for weeks... Until the next movie came on that is.
THE END?
Swing123: ok, NOW I'll do LOTBB. I promise! Please review! Also, let me know if you think this is kinda incomplete. I'll try to fix it.