Chapter Twenty - One: Replayed and Burnt Again

Xander stood at the cafeteria vending machine, staring at the collection of goodies inside. He wasn't sure what he wanted and he wasn't in much of a rush to be getting back to the library. He heard footsteps behind him and turned to see Willow approached, a soft smile on her face.

'Hey.'

'Hey.' He replied, his voice conveying the troubles on his mind.

'We'll get him back, you know that.' She rubbed his shoulder. Xander grimaced.

'I was just thinking how Hershey's have changed their flavour again. More chemicals for my growing body.' He couldn't even raise a smile at his own joke. Willow looked into the machine.

'How about some Razzle's? They're always tasty.'

'He's our best friend Willow. It was hard enough that he got turned into a vampire with a soul. Now he might be evil…I don't think I could run from him. Or try and kill him. It's Spike.' Xander's voice broke on his friend's name and Willow led him to sit over on a bench in the corridor.

'That's not going to happen. This is Spike. Moody, punk, lovable, Spike. In love with Buffy to the end. Sarcastic all the time. Brave. And I'm not gonna give up on him. We'll find him, resoul him if we need to.'

'And what about Buffy? What with Angelus and everything…she's not gonna be able to cope if Spike goes all Spikelus…' He trailed off. 'Can't we get him a better name than that?' Willow smiled affectionately.

'It'll be okay. We're the Scoobies. Buffy always gets through, we always save the day. And our friends always survive.' She strengthened the smile, wondering if in part, she was trying to reassure herself of the fact as well as Xander.

Xander nodded. 'Yeah. Yeah you're right. We can do this.' He stood up. 'Let's get back with some goodies. Sugar always makes you think.'

'How come you're always flunking then?' Came Willow's retort and it continued down the hall, back to the library and research to save their friend.

Buffy walked through her front door, sighing and shutting it behind her. Her mother appeared from the kitchen, a concerned look on her face. Buffy looked up at her sadly, and then headed towards the stairs.

'Buffy?' The blonde turned, facing her mother, face drawn and pale. 'Any news?'

She shook her head and Joyce sighed. 'It's been three days, Mom. We've tried everything. Locater spells, traipsing round Sunnydale all night. We can't find him.'

Joyce pulled her daughter down the stairs and led her to the sofa, sitting down. Buffy leant her head on her mother's shoulder, frustration and anger making her rigid. 'Don't lose hope Buffy. You'll find him. He loves you, and he'll be okay. You'll stop this thing.'

'I'm not so sure.'

Joyce sighed and pulled Buffy up to look into her eyes. 'I may not know much about this Slayer thing, but I know you. You're a fighter, Buffy, you always have been. You can do this and I have all the faith in the world in you. You are so special.'

'Mom…I…'

'Do you love this boy?' Buffy looked at her mom steadily and then nodded, tears escaping and flowing down her cheeks. Joyce smiled. 'Then you have to fight. You can do this', she reaffirmed and pulled Buffy into a hug. 'Now, go get a good night's sleep and tomorrow, look at it with fresh eyes.' She smiled and looked at Buffy as the teenager pulled herself together and wiped her eyes.

'Thank you mom.' She stood up and headed up the stairs, shutting her bedroom door behind her. She curled up on her bed, fully clothed and shut her eyes, trying to clear her mind. She knew she probably wouldn't get a great nights sleep, but then she knew a tired slayer was a sloppy slayer and she couldn't afford to make mistakes, not if it meant losing Spike again.

Sleep came quickly for once and she found herself dreaming. She was still in her room and she stood up, walking around. She'd always wondered why dreams felt so real when you were actually in them. If she didn't know better, she would say she was still awake. And considering the fact that she was actually thinking, it probably meant this was no ordinary dream.

Buffy moved towards the stairs, heading down. The house was dark and her mother wasn't around. She moved towards the front door and opened it, stunned to find the outside covered in snow. For one, it was March and two, it didn't snow much in California. As she headed outside, the white flakes crunched under her feet and she looked down, seeing a stake lying there in the snow. She bent down and picked it up, frowning. As she stood up, she inspected the stake and then realised she wasn't outside her house anymore. She was outside the school. Snow covered the outside and everything seemed blindingly white as she approached it.

A familiar tingle alerted her to a vampire's presence and she turned, ready to fight. Two figures were walking towards her, and it took her a moment to realise they were the same person. One was obviously feral, snarling, it's features that of the demon within. The other was as she usually saw him; smiling, blue eyes twinkling in the light.

She watched as the vampire circled her and Spike simply watched. She didn't raise the stake and didn't watch the vampire. She simply stared at Spike.

'I can't find you.' She whispered.

'You shouldn't let your guard down pet.'

The vampire jumped her and she rolled to the side. It snarled and lunged for her, grabbed her around the waist and she surrendered, watching Spike with tearful eyes as his vampire counterpart sank its teeth into her.

Then suddenly, he stopped and pulled away. Recognition sparked in it's golden eyes and Buffy frowned. The two Spike's became one and he approached her, placing his hands on her arms.

'I promised you I would never hurt you, pet. I love you with everything I am.' He vamped out. 'Including the demon.' She stared at him for a second and then crushed her lips to his, the kiss igniting in a fury and they struggled for dominance over each other. After what seemed like forever they separated and Spike smiled down at her, his human mask in place once more.

'I can't find you.' She whispered again. 'I can't lose you, Spike.'

He shook his head and cupped her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. 'Don't be silly, Slayer. You always find me. Jus' need to stop looking with these.' He gestured to her eyes. 'Start searching with this.' He placed his hand over her heart and she placed her own on top of it. Buffy looked up at him and smiled.

'I will.' She nodded. 'I'll find you.' He grinned back, kissing her on the forehead, before looking down at her again.

'Not if you don't wake up, sleepyhead.'

Buffy opened her eyes and found herself back in her room. As she shook of the remnants of the dream, she swore she could still feel his kiss on her forehead, searing her skin with the intensity of his feelings for her. She sat up, looking around and felt the warm sun coming in through the window. She dangled her legs over the edge of the bed and looked down at her sweater, pulling at it in disdain.

The clock went off, declaring the time and she sighed. It was seven. She was running later than usual. A quick shower and get changed, then she'd have to run to the school.

And in the meantime, she still had a dream to decipher.

Spike stared at the wall, the dark room providing no escape for entertainment. It was the fourth day of his imprisonment and it had been filled with his own company and the occasional visit from Drusilla, or Angelus. Drusilla had taken pleasure in torturing him, toying with him. Angelus had taunted him with threats against himself, his friends and Buffy. David had only come a few times and that was mainly to give him blood. The vampire didn't say much, his mind on the task at hand and Spike wondered exactly what was going to happen.

He had overheard bits of it and knew the ritual would result in his loss of soul and this was what Angelus and Drusilla were involved for. Drusilla kept telling him they were going to be a family and the idea was creeping him out beyond belief. The details she went into were unpleasant and made his stomach churn. And most of all, it made him fear for Buffy. He didn't want to hurt her and was terrified his demon wouldn't love her like he did.

The door opened and light filled the room. He didn't look round, his senses told him it was David. The vampire threw a bag of blood at his feet.

'Get your strength up, boy. Tonight's when all the fun starts.'

The door shut once more and Spike grimaced as he tore into the bag. He was trying to keep his strength up, in order to attempt an escape, but he knew there was more than just the three vampires behind that door. If he escaped with his life and soul intact, he'd be very, very lucky…

Buffy walked into the library, refreshed and ready for the day. She didn't intend on going to any lessons today, not that it was important. She'd done the SAT's and passed, no need to worry about anything like an education anymore. She had a get out of school free card when it came to slaying. And right now, she had to concentrate on finding Spike.

Giles was sat at the desk alone when she entered the library. He looked up and smiled fondly.

'Hello Buffy.' She nodded in greeting. 'You look well rested.'

'Very much so. Need to be focused. Where are the others?'

'Xander and Willow are in class, I believe Oz is about somewhere and hopefully, Wesley is lying in a ditch with his glasses shoved up his…' Giles stopped. 'You get the picture.'

'I had a dream. I think it was a slayer dream.' Buffy said, and Giles perked up. 'It was about Spike.'

'What happened?'

'I was at the school and it was snowing. I found a stake on the ground and then Spike was there, but there was two of him.'

'Two of him?' Giles frowned. 'I do hope that isn't going to happen.'

'No, no, it was like, Spike and vampire Spike. Vampire attacked me and bit me, after Spike told me not to let my guard down. But it didn't kill me. It was like after he tasted me, he realised who I was. Then there was only one Spike again and he told me that I needed to stop looking for him with my eyes and start searching for him with my heart.' Buffy finished and Giles stared for a moment.

'What do you think it means?' Giles asked, looking at her intently. Buffy swallowed.

'I think that even if this ritual goes down…I don't think I have to be worried about soulless Spike. I wasn't scared of him in the dream. Somehow…I know he won't hurt me.' She waited for a response and then looked at the floor, suddenly ashamed. 'Giles I know you hate that I'm involved with another vampire, but…I…I love him.' She stopped. It was the first time she had said it out loud and as worried as she had been about it, it felt comfortable…right. Giles stood up.

'I know Buffy. But I am more worried about Angelus. And if Spike will actually survive this ritual. And where this David figures in everything.' He smiled at her. 'Spike is one of us, Buffy. He is an essential part of the gang, as you may call it. I have faith in his ability to make you happy and protect you.'

'So you don't think my dream was silly?'

'No. Actually I believe it quite revealing in the face of what we are about to fight. We can only hope your dream predicts that Spike's demon will recognise you and protect you. It would be unprecedented, but then…he is amazingly unique.'

'I know.' Buffy smiled. 'So I'd better get working on looking for him, otherwise…' The room began to shake and Buffy rushed to the office door, Giles following her. Books hit the floor and shelves fell to the ground as the earthquake continued for a few moments. As it stopped, Buffy smoothed her hair back into place and frowned at Giles.

'Why do I get the feeling that was a Hellmouthy rumble and not our usual friendly California jitter bug?'