Chapter Nine: Helplessly, Hopelessly
I can stand with the weight of the world on my shoulders
I can fight with the toughest of the tough
I can laugh in the face of all my insecurities
Anytime, anywhere, anything I'm strong enough
But when you're holding me like this
I'm carelessly lost in your touch
I'm completely defenseless
Baby, its almost too much
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly falling in love
So let consequence to do us what it will, I don't care
Let the stars stand as witness to it all
Say the word and tonight I will follow you anywhere
I just can't pretend anymore I'm too sturdy to fall
'Cause when you're holding me like this
I'm carelessly lost in your touch
I'm completely defenseless
Baby, its almost too much
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly falling in love
But I'm not afraid anymore
Helplessly, Hopelessly by Jessica Andrews
"Hey stranger."
"Mmpfh." Draco replied, burying his head under his favorite pillow. He rarely used the other three that graced his bed.
"I feel the same way."
"Huh?" Draco wondered. He was so out of it that he couldn't tell if he had said that aloud or simply wondered it.
She put her hand over his. He was now awake.
"Blaise?" He asked, knocking the once favored pillow to floor like it was the redhead stepchild of the pillow world. "What are you doing here?"
Blaise took this as an invitation to remain in his bed. She kicked off her ballet flats and settled into one of the remaining pillows on the bed, so her head was level with his.
"So, I went to this dance and well, -it sucked." She said, looking up at his ceiling like it was the most fascinating thing she'd seen all night. The most baffling part of this was that her admiration towards the ceiling seemed genuine.
"Oh." Draco was at a loss for words. Not hours earlier, she had seemed so hurt by him. Now she was sitting a mere few feet away from him.
"-and I was like, I know whose entertaining. There's this blonde fellow that lives near me; I knew HE'D entertain me, much more so than my date."
"Did you find this blonde fellow?" Draco teased.
Blaise turned and smiled. "No, but I figured you were a good second."
Draco tickled her for that, knowing she was teasing. "Stop," she laughed, gasping for air.
"Shh, Joel's sle-" Draco started to say
"No he isn't." Blaise said. "He's out with Clarissa."
"Oh." Draco couldn't tell in the dark. He swore he had been there earlier.
"I didn't realize how tired I was." Blaise yawned after a few silent seconds. They were not uncomfortable silent seconds; in fact, they were quite nice. No awkwardness about it for once.
They laid there in silence for a little awhile.
"Blaise?"
"Mmmmhmm?" She muttered quite sleepily.
"Are we okay?"
"You chased after me."
"Huh?" Draco asked, sitting up so he could see her face. Her eyes were closed, her breathing steady. She was talking in her sleep.
"I just wanted to know you cared."
"Of course, I care." He said, brushing the hair out of her face. Her silver ribbon was now askew.
"Thank you." She whispered into the pillow; Draco's least favorite one. Suddenly, he had a feeling that that might change.
"Blaise?"
"Yeah, I know, I'm leaving in a second. Your pillow….is just so comforting."
"No, you need birch bark, not just bark." Blaise corrected Draco, taking the liberty to add the word in with her own quill.
"Why?" Draco whined, not wanting to recopy his potions essay again. He already had to once due to an accident involving the ink bottle and Graham. Enough said.
"Birch has a special property that other types of bark do not have." Blaise said, reading the rest of Draco's essay. "And you spelled this wrong."
"This is the last time I let you read my paper." Draco grumbled.
"You are just having an off night, you never do this bad." Blaise answered honestly.
A stampede, or what sounded like one, came hurling in the common room, so loud that Theodore Nott nearly fell out of his chair.
"All I'm saying is that Snape better get that damn broomstick out of his ass." Jesse hissed to Paul, his fellow fifth year, as he wrung the life out of the parchment in his hand.
"Bad day?" Blaise asked, quill still lingering over Draco's parchment
"I got an Acceptable! An acceptable! Not an outstanding, not even an 'exceeds expectations' but an acceptable!" Jesse yelped.
Blaise looked at Jesse in confusion, but Draco however had known Jesse pretty well for five years, but they had been acquaintances much longer. Surprisingly, Jesse was an academic master, potions being his specialty. Draco, who was no potions dummy himself, had even asked Jesse, a year his junior, for help, but if asked he would vehemently deny it. And Jesse would understand. Slytherin code of conduct; show no weakness, protect your comrades from showing theirs.
That was the sign of a true friend.
"The Inner Eye sees many things, great things of significant importance. Important things of great significance…"
"Remind me, why the hell we signed up for Advanced Divination?" Draco muttered.
Clarissa sighed. "It was supposed to be an easy Outstanding."
"That's right." Draco said with nod. "What happened to that plan?"
"Trelawney happened." Clarissa grumbled, smushing a tea leaf with her spoon. Trelawney now began every lesson with a cup of tea. Draco had begun to hate tea and anything associated with it; tea cups, tea pots, tee pees, biscotti….
"Miss Hawthorne, that leaf is something that should be treated with the upmost respect." Trelawney said, as if Clarissa's smushing was of great personal offense to her. "You and Mister Malfoy seem to think that it is merely a piece of sewage."
"Hmm, maybe she's psychic after all." Draco said, after Trelawney wandered over to yell at Caitlin Rogers and Gwen McClellan for something involving some of the biscotti.
"Put that tea cozy down right now, Mr Coldstoneford!" Trelawney said. "How long before this is over?"
"Forty nine minutes," Trey Coldstoneford, Clarissa, and a sleepy-eyed Ravenclaw muttered in unison.
Trelawney sighed loudly and rubbed her forehead as if she had a terrible headache. "All right, let's settle down. I was going to save this for the end of the term, but since we seem to be having cabin fever today, I think I a fun lesson is due."
"Depends on whose idea of fun it is." Clarissa replied, not even bothering to whisper.
"Just pull out your crystal ball, Miss Hawthorne. All of you, Crystal Balls out." Trelawney said, wearily as she sat behind the large ball on her desk, her ring finger delicately tracing her name that was carved on the onyx base on which the ball sat. She claimed it was a gift from Cassandra herself. But Draco was pretty sure that his mother had ordered one just like that Colt Crystal just a few months ago, and Cassandra had been dead for at least a decade now.
"Now what interests all of you most these days?" Trelawney asked.
"Whose gonna win the quidditch cup," Erin Cadwaller said.
"Well, no, that's not what I was thinking."
"When this class is going to end."
"We already established that it would end in forty nine minutes."
"Forty six and a ten, nine seconds." Trey corrected her.
"Fine! Fine! Shush! I am talking about romance, you thick skulled trolls!" Trelawney bellowed. "Your stupid little lives are run by your hormones!"
Clarissa nodded. "She's on a roll with being right about stuff today."
"Why thank you Miss Hawthorne," Trelawney said, clearly missing the sarcasm behind Clarissa's compliment.
"Now I shall warn you, this sort of premonition tends to be a self fulfilling prophecy sort of thing. If you use this spell scarcely, and by scarcely I mean, by maybe once or twice every fifteen years or so, then it is fairly truthful. If you use it like a cheat sheet on a test, then it will turn into the self fulfilling prophecy, because eventually you will cause what you see in your globe. So do not, I REPEAT DO NOT, use this spell outside of my classroom. In fact, it is not even legal to use this spell without a licensed Seer present."
"Someone gave you a license?" Trey gawked.
Trelawney chose to ignore that and just started humming a few lines of an ancient Gaelic tune he recognized. She started speaking fluently in the worn out language, her tongue quickly gliding over the words, so that even if Draco wanted to, he could not have repeated the spell.
She came to an abrupt stop and turned to the fourteen faces staring at her. She looked extremely pleased that she for once had everyone's attention. "Now, I want you to trace the symbol for love and commitment on the face of your ball. Carefully, Simon, this is not a doodle pad! Repeat after me."
Reveal my horizon five winters forward
Reveal the holder of my heart
The companion to my journey on the crumbled path
The one closest to me, in heart, distance, and secret
Reveal my horizon
Clarissa and Draco repeated just as Trelawney had said, with the emphasis on the word five and the half cough she had on the word journey, which Draco was pretty sure they were not supposed to repeat.
He placed his hands on the globe, nearly pulling them back at the icy feel of it. He gazed into the globe. Absolutely nothing, it was just cold.
Then, just as he was about to move his hands away for fear of frostbite, he realized that it wasn't empty, it was snowing in the globe. The whole scene was covered in a thick blanket of snow, a rather picturesque nighttime view. The only light was coming from a streetlamp, farther down the road. He looked around, his nose now practically up against the globe, but he didn't see anyone. Then she appeared.
She was tall, nearly as tall as him. She was skinny, dressed in all black; black boots, a black cloak, a black hat. All he could see was a peak of her pale face and sprinkle of freckles. She was walking towards him, a grey wolf, that was clearly tamed, walking behind her; he was her companion. She smiled at him, or so it looked, it was really hard to tell in the snow, before turning around and walking behind the cabin they were at, the wolf followed her, but that wasn't what caught Draco's attention. It was the only spot of color in the picture; a spot of flaming red hair peaked out from under her cap.
"Draco, come see!" Clarissa called, snapping him out of his stare at his crystal ball.
Draco let go, accidentally at Clarissa's exclamation and the girl vanished from the globe as suddenly as she appeared.
Draco stood up and looked over Clarissa's shoulder.
"This, my students, is called the Future Companion Forecast." Trelawney said, trying to sound mystical. "The spell, a particular favorite of the more flashy Seers, was designed to show you the person that you are connected most with five years from now. Now typically, I'd say with ninety nine out of a hundred cases, it is the viewer's significant other that they see, occasionally it is a very close friend. Don't get me wrong, this is not one hundred percent accurate, it is merely a forecast, it only picks up on the fuzzy vibes of the future. That is why it is occasionally a self fulfilling prophecy, because the one that uses it repeatedly will become obsessed with looking for the hypothetical blonde haired girl that he will supposedly marry. He will shut out all others and become obsessive about locating this one soul. You must take this spell with caution."
His future was with the red haired girl? Where was Blaise?
"Look," Clarissa said, causing him to focus once again. "What's wrong with Joel? He looks so different. He's definitely changed."
Draco looked. She was clearly still with Joel all right, but she was right. He looked different. A bit taller and lanker; he had definitely lost some weight and he was never a heavy guy to begin with. His hair was a bit curlier. The only thing that didn't jump out as different was his eyes. He was still staring at Clarissa with the same admiration; his huge brown eyes lit up whenever he saw her. He looked younger than he should be, he only looked to be about eighteen or nineteen, not twenty three like he should be in that globe. In fact, Draco almost thought he looked older today than he is going to look in five years. That struck him as odd, but it was clearly Joel standing there in the theater, waiting for Clarissa.
"Professor Trelawney, my crystal ball keeps going black," Caitlin Rogers said, shaking it furiously.
"Mine too," Ricky, a small dark haired boy that looked about three years younger than he actually was, called out.
"Yeah, I think my globe's broke." Theodore Nott growled.
"Huh," Trelawney said, gliding over to Caitlin to see what the problem was, clearly basking in the glow that her lesson was actually enjoyed by most.
"Who did you see?" Clarissa asked, once she was done examining Joel. Draco could tell she stopped because it freaked her out.
"I don't know." Draco answered. "It was heavily snowing wherever we were, she was bundled up, it was hard to tell." He sort of lied. No need to mention that he could tell it wasn't Blaise.
"Oh, that bites." Clarissa said, packing up her books.
The two walked out of the tower together.
Clarissa stopped right before the Slytherin entrance. "Um, Draco do you mind if we not mention this to anyone?"
Draco heaved a sigh of relief. "That sounds like a good idea."
Clarissa smiled weakly and ducked into the dungeons they called home.
"Want to go outside?" Blaise asked him. "It's snowing."
"Sure," he said, trying desperately to throw yesterday's event behind him. He almost couldn't face Blaise yesterday. Clarissa and him exchanged awkward glances all night, which he was sure Joel, Graham, and Blaise all picked up on.
"Are you okay?" She asked, once they were outside and away from ear shot of anyone.
"Yes," he answered, probably a little too quickly, because she just raised one eyebrow.
"Are you sure?" She asked, stopping and turning to face him.
"Yes," he said, clapping a hand on her shoulder. "Thanks for the concern."
"No problem," She said, mocking his awkwardness as she punched him back on the arm for the awkward clapping of the shoulder.
Draco just looked at her as her mitten impacted the arm of his jacket. "What?" she asked, "Isn't that what guys do?"
Draco smiled and put his arm around her shoulder. "No," he said slyly, "we do this!" and he turned and grabbed her, flinging her over his shoulder and spinning around, causing Blaise to squeal and kick in delight.
"Stop!" She squealed as the two spun in the cold night air. "Draco, put me down!"
He continued to spin, the two laughing and yelling, the snow falling down around them.
"I'm serious!" She half giggled, half yelled. "We're going to get in trouble!"
He continued to spin, slowly letting her down, until she was eye to eye with him, which meant her boots were resting on his own pair, so that they were at the same height, still locked in a tight embrace, spinning as if they were in their own snow globe.
In their snow globe, there were no Death Eaters; no parents; no red haired girls from the future; no impending promise of death and disaster. All that was in their snow globe, was two sixteen year olds, both wise beyond years, and both happier at that particular moment than either had ever been in their entire lives.
Draco didn't want this five winters from now; he wanted this forever.
Author's Note: Okay, so I managed to crank this chapter out in a mere ten minutes, which was really odd, because I'd been having a writer's block on this chapter since early June. It was also really odd because it is 101 degrees outside here and I'm writing about snow. Now, I really want some snow, but I'm going to have to wait like five months and that just sucks. Oh well.
And more on the chapter. It's divided into four parts, none of which actually seem that significant, but in actuality this chapter is crucial despite how minor each scene appears. Each section contains some keys to future happenings in the story. If I didn't title each chapter after the song, I would definitely call this "the Premonition Chapter". A lot of hints are dropped. Several people asked about the future of the characters, some questions are definitely answered concerning the fate of several of the main ones.
Anyway, please, please, please review!
Love ya!
Preppy in Pink