The Crow's Nest
Jack, Gibbs, and Miranda finally made their way back to the ship, and Miranda's appearance had shocked nearly everyone. But there was no time to dawdle, because Jack was desperate to get back to business.
Miranda had somehow taken a liking to the crow's nest, and would spend most of her day there unless Jack needed her. The strange part was, he never needed to call for her. She'd clamber down as soon as the need for her arose. It was almost like she was psychic.
"I am." she said to Jack one day as he asked her about this.
They'd been sailing for nearly 3 and a half months now, and Jack felt like his old self again. Minus the rum, of course. He missed it, but he knew he was better off without it. Miranda, by this time, had stopped going up to the crow's nest altogether, explaining that she needed to keep an eye on Jack more often at this point. The crew was getting a bit suspicious at Jack's sudden changes, but Jack insisted that it was nothing.
"Jack..."
"Yes?"
"Why aren't you wearing your belts?"
"Belts?"
"Yes, the ones you always wear around your waist, Jack."
"Didn't need 'em."
"Well it's not like you need your bandanna, or all those beads in your hair."
"...um...the belts weren't working out for me...they were suppressing my...flair..."
Jack had noticed that he was needing to wear his clothes looser and looser. This concerned him, because soon the whole crew would find out about this. Jack tried to brush the concern away as he loosened his sash by a few inches. Then there was a knock on the door. Jack quickly flopped onto his back.
"Come in."
Pintel and Ragetti poked their heads into Jack's cabin and stepped in, followed by another crew member. And another.
"Um...let's take this out onto the deck..." Jack suggested, getting up with some difficulty and strolling out. The rest of the crew followed him until he stepped up to the wheel. "So..." he said, clapping his hands. "What's all this about?"
"We're wondering what's up with you!" shouted a crew member.
"You're being so secretive!" said another.
"And you seem like you're weighed down!" Ragetti piped up.
"He is weighed down, you idiot!" Pintel scolded, smacking his imprudent friend over the head. Jack frowned with concern at the bedlam starting to form down on deck.
"Everyone...this is against Miranda's advice but-"
"Don't tell them!" Miranda shouted at him, running up the stairs. The members of the crew looked to one another in curiosity. Now they had to know.
"Now, Miranda, darling," Jack said quietly, resting his hand on Miranda's shoulder "I know you're only looking out for me, but the crew is just as concerned about my health as you are..."
"We heard that, and we don't give a damn about your health, Jack! We just want to know what's going on!" Will said, stepping from the crowd. Jack shook his head in slight disbelief. Will, by all means, shouldn't have been on the ship. He was supposed to be off raising his children with Elizabeth. Then Elizabeth stepped forward. Jack was shocked now, and felt his knees getting a bit weak. Miranda held him up and Jack mumbled his thanks.
"I don't hire eunuchs, mate." Jack said to Will, folding his hands. Will scoffed at the age-old joke.
"Just for the record, I'm tiring of that." Will said. Jack raises his eyebrows and grinned.
"I never tire of it." he laughed. Elizabeth shoved Will out of the way (in the fashion that lovers do, so Will wasn't harmed) and stepped up the stairs and held her face so that it was hardly an inch away from Jack's.
"Will is not a eunuch, Jack, and I of all people should know." she snarled. Jack leaned back slightly and "ooh"ed in amusement, and the crew joined in. Elizabeth shot a warning glance at them, and they stopped. Will couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed by Elizabeth's thoughtless statement, but he was glad that she stood up for him. Elizabeth then turned back to Jack.
"I think the crew wants to know what's going on. Myself included. So if you would mind telling us..." she asked. Jack looked to Miranda with a bit of helplessness, and Miranda rolled her eyes as if to say "go ahead and tell them." Jack pushed past Elizabeth and leaned against the railing.
"I'm in a fix." Jack said. Will looked confused.
"What?" he asked, cocking his head. Elizabeth and a large portion of the crew showed similar actions.
"In a fix! Preggers! Making biscuits! Up the duff! In the family way! Drank from the water well!" Jack shouted, waving his arms in Will's face.
"Drank from the water well?" Will asked, questioning the legitimacy of the phrase.
"Well, actually, technically speaking it was a little bottle of tonic..." Jack mumbled. Jack was starting to regret his confession, because that same large portion of the crew that was confused had promptly burst into laughter. "Oh shut up, you scurvy-ridden, flea-bitten cads!" Jack screamed at them. They all quieted, afraid of what punishment they would get for laughing at their captain. Elizabeth hadn't laughed the entire time. Instead, she put her arm around Jack.
"If you need to know anything, you can ask me..." she whispered to him. Jack felt deeply relieved to have an experienced person there. But wait...
"But...Elizabeth...I've not seen any children on this ship...how do I know you've got any experience at all?" Jack asked. Elizabeth sighed deeply at a painful memory.
"They died shortly after...from an infection..." she said quietly. Jack staggered slightly when she said this.
"I'm...sorry..." he stammered. "If there was anything I could have done, I probably would have." Elizabeth flashed a sad smile, then decided it would be best to change the mood.
"Come with me, we'll talk." she whispered. Then she turned and started walking away, towards the other end of the ship. The crew was starting to follow Jack, but then Jack slowly turned.
"This is between myself and Elizabeth!" He said warningly. "But the eunuch can join in the conversation if he so chooses." He flashed a grin, his joke still alive and well.
"Jack, what did you mean by a little bottle of tonic?" Elizabeth wondered aloud. Jack, who had been fiddling with his sash and trying to get it to fit snugly but comfortably loose at the same time, looked up to answer the question.
"I was at Miranda's house...shack, rather, one night, had to stay and rest because we were having a bit of a hard time dragging our latest winnings off to the ship. I helped myself to a little bottle of what I thought was rum...but after a week of what I kept insisting was a hangover, Gibbs dragged me off to her shack again and I learn that it's a fertility tonic, so it turns out that that 'hangover' was a much weightier situation than I had first thought..."
"I see...how...how long has it been, at this point in time?" Elizabeth then asked. Jack took off his hat and leaned back on the ramparts, thinking.
"'Bout 4, 5...5 and a half months, luv." Jack finally said, straightening out and putting his hat back on. Elizabeth then had the mother of all questions(1).
"Jack, have you ever considered how that child is getting out of you?" Jack nearly lost his footing at this question. That thought had never occurred to him before, and now that it had, it terrified him.
"I don't know, luv...hopefully it'll be less painful than the...'traditional way'..." Jack rambled. Elizabeth looked a tad offended, having gone through labor twice in her life with nothing to show for it.
"I think it should be a bleeding, screaming hell for you, Jack...who knows? Maybe the law will go easy on you, knowing you've experienced such horrible pain...it'll be like paying for your sins right here on earth. Trust me." she said, crossing her arms. Jack didn't like the idea. Not one bit.
"I don't like the idea of that. Not one bit." he said timidly. "And besides, I'm not built for this...or, at least, I think I'm not..."
"You're not." Elizabeth confirmed. "But you have to consider that, you know. It's the whole reason you're in such a state, anyway!" Jack was not enjoying this conversation anymore. Luckily for the both of them, Will decided he'd join in.
"It's easy to see what we should do." Will said, appearing from behind a pile of crates. "We'll take a knife and cut it out of Jack." Maybe Jack wasn't lucky that Will showed up after all. He wasn't liking a single suggestion made here.
"Maybe we could think of a more...reasonable method than POTENTIALLY KILLING ME!" Jack suggested, turning to Will when he had begun to shout.
"I don't see you coming up with any..." Will retorted. Jack sighed and slid into a sitting position.
"I'm going to die again...I just know it..." Jack said sadly; he started to cry. Elizabeth kneeled down and put her arm around Jack.
"Shh..no you're not...the world hasn't done anything horrible enough to deserve your loss..." she said, trying to comfort him. "You'll be all right, we'll all think of a way to make it work...but we ought not dwell on it...or, at least, you ought not dwell on it...focus on what you have to do in the here and now, not what awaits you..."
"I can't help it...like you said, it's the whole reason I'm in this state anyway..." Jack mumbled, resting his head on Elizabeth's shoulder. Elizabeth, with a motherly instinct, ran her hand across Jack's forehead, lulling him to sleep. Will looked on with confusion but couldn't help but smile with the knowledge that when he and Elizabeth had their first surviving child, Elizabeth would be a good mother. Jack was in a bit of a daze at this point, his hands folded across his stomach.
"Don't worry, Jack...there's no need to worry...you'll be fine, you'll be better than fine, you'll be in wonderful condition...you simply have to learn to relax..." Elizabeth murmured quietly to Jack, gently changing the point of support from his head on her shoulder to his upper torso on her lap.
"I am relaxed..." Jack said, grinning. "Relaxed and quite happy..." Will couldn't help but roll his eyes and feel a bit jealous, and sat down on a crate.
"Why are you happy?" Elizabeth asked Jack, casually quizzing him.
"Because the stars tonight are lovely..." Jack said. Okay, so it was a bit different from the answer she was looking for, but it wasn't the wrong one. At least Jack wasn't completely hysterical(2) anymore. "I could sleep right here on the deck..." Jack added. Will raised his eyebrows at the rather delayed nature of that statement.
"I think it would be better on your back if you slept in your own bed..." Elizabeth suggested quietly, gently forcing Jack out of her lap and getting up, then helping him into a standing position. Jack nodded in thanks, running his hand across the bump in his stomach.
"Well...off I go...to...bed..." Jack said in a slightly confused tone. "I'm sleepy..." he finished, turning to go. As he flopped onto his bed and sank into the mattress, he couldn't help but feel a sense of pleased anticipation. Again, he rested his hands on his slightly swollen stomach and sighed deeply. This time, a happy sigh.
(1)Yes, I know, bad potential pun, I'm sorry! hides
(2) Literally. "Hysterical", technically speaking, would have to do with a more feminine form of panic or frantic feelings.