At the first sight of land Jack rushed onto the deck, ignoring the horrible ache in his ankles, and looked out on the water. He smiled at the relief of finally finding a place to settle down for a while, which was spoiled slightly by the realization that it was the very island he was marooned on. Twice.
"Ah...well...beggars can't be choosers..." he said, sitting down. "Argh...my back..." he mumbled. Elizabeth looked deeply concerned, remembering when she herself had reached this stage. It was an infuriating point, with the constant need to pace but the total inability to do so. That, and Jack seemed hell-bent on finding a place to settle down, which was driving everyone else insane. The most worrisome part of it all was that Jack's perceived need was so strong that he was settling for an island that he hated, as well as one they couldn't possibly spend 2 more months on.
"Jack...I think you should find a better place to do this..." Elizabeth said, crouching to meet Jack's eye level. Jack sighed with discomfort before answering.
"Hear me out, luv, I'm getting desperate...my time's getting close, and unlike you did, I don't have a place I can just go to settle down for when the time comes..." Jack said. He sighed again. "I'm going crazy here, luv...I need to settle down, the child needs to settle down...and...I just need to be able to find a place where I can feel...safe...and calm..."
"Why not Tortuga, it's close to here, isn't it?" Elizabeth asked, lifting Jack's chin to force him into making eye contact. Jack always looked a bit sleepy because of the khol stains around his eyes, but the dark circles went much farther than that.
"I can understand what you mean...many a mother has done their task in one of the hotels or taverns...it's a town where you notice everything and nothing...it's..." Jack hoisted himself up at this point. "We're changing course a bit, head for Tortuga!"
Surprisingly, it took them nearly 3 weeks to find Tortuga, partly because of a bad storm that they suddenly met up with. Jack was getting a bit hysterical again, but at the first sign of land his hysteria gave way to euphoria.
Jack knew his way around Tortuga well, as well as everything about it and every citizen in it. 2 of them being past 'acquaintances', Scarlett and Giselle, and they always seemed to find him.
As Jack, Elizabeth, Will, Gibbs, Miranda, and Mr. Cotton made their way through the streets (drawing minimal glances of confusion from some people), Jack met up with them again.
"Hello, dears..." he said, grinning sheepishly. Scarlett raised her hand to slap him when Jack interrupted her with a strange statement.
"You wouldn't hit an expectant mother, would you?" Scarlett's arm relaxed and her hand fell to her side.
"Of course not, but I don't see how that's relevant." she said, cocking her head in a somewhat snobby way.
"I've joined the masses..." Jack said. Will smacked his forehead, Elizabeth rolled her eyes, Gibbs did a spit-take into his canteen, Miranda cast a glance at Mr. Cotton and Mr. Cotton...didn't say anything. Scarlett raised her eyebrow.
"You're joking." she said.
"Nope." Jack laughed, nudging her aside and continuing on his merry way, with the rest of his party following him.
"Where to go...where to go..." Jack mumbled to himself, looking around. "Somewhere fairly clean, but chaotic enough in the surrounding places that no one will pay us any mind..."
"Best place I can think of is the tavern." Will said. Surprisingly, Jack seemed to find this to be an excellent idea.
"Wonderful, Will, you're genius!" Jack said happily, pulling Will into a hug. Will felt awkward, to say the least. Finally, Jack released him and turned right. "Oh, and Mr. Cotton, I want you to go back to the rest of the crew and tell them that...oh, who am I kidding? Gibbs, I want you to go back to the ship, take Mr. Cotton with you, and tell the rest of the crew that I'm staying on land until this is over...savvy?"
"Aye, captain..." Gibbs said, turning to go.
"Tell them I'll be back in a matter of weeks, keep them occupied, and for the love of God, don't touch my bloody rum!" Jack added.
"Whatever you say." Gibbs shouted back. Jack turned to the people who had stayed with him.
"Alright...so..." Jack paused and winced suddenly. "...my ankles are killing me...anyway...let's just get in that tavern, get our room, and just try to relax..."
"Aye, aye, captain." Miranda said, giggling. She still had so much to learn about piracy.
"Miranda, please don't use pirate jargon, I beg of you. You just don't do it justice." Jack said, opening the door to the tavern and stepping in, keeping fairly close to the wall. Miranda quickly nodded to indicate that she would handle this, and walked up to the bar. She spoke with one of the barmaids for a moment, and then came back with a key.
"Follow me..." she said, heading for the stairs.
As they opened the door, Jack was delighted at how clean it was, and happily flopped on the largest bed, sighing happily.
"Any second now, and I get to do my job in this luxury..." Jack said, closing his eyes and inhaling the smell of fresh hay. Elizabeth and Will settled on one of the smaller beds and Miranda happily took the rejected one, which was apparently better than anything she had slept on during her life of witchcraft.
Later that week, in the early hours of the morning, Elizabeth was awakened by a muffled groan and looked around her. In the minimal light of the morning, she could see that Will and Miranda were still asleep. Then she looked over at Jack. Jack was clenching and unclenching his fists and breathing heavily, and the realization hit Elizabeth like a brick. Jack had gone into labor.
"Miranda, Will, wake up!" she shouted, reaching quickly for a box of matches and lighting a candle. Will blinked sleepily, wondering what this was all about, but Miranda quickly jumped up and started looking for something on her belt, eventually finding a knife. Elizabeth was sitting next to Jack, trying to calm him, and Miranda gestured for her to continue doing so. Miranda took the knife and tightened her grip on it, then slowly lowered it to Jack's skin, making a small but deep cut in a patch of blank skin. Jack gasped, but regained his composure and sighed deeply.
"You said it was smooth sailing..." Jack said to Miranda irritatedly. "I thought that meant no intervention was needed..."
"Well, like you said, nature didn't build you for this, so I had to make an exit wound..." Miranda explained, wiping Jack's blood off of the knife and putting it away.
"I don't feel comfortable with the idea of staying to watch...c'mon, Elizabeth..." Will said, realizing what was going on. Elizabeth didn't even turn away from Jack to answer him.
"I'm staying here, Will; Jack needs my help. I don't want him to feel alone while he's in this pain. Not like I did." Elizabeth said. When she said the last sentence, there was a sense of anger in her voice. "At least go make yourself useful by informing the crew that Jack's giving birth..." she added. Will nodded, remembering what she meant by "Not like I did." and feeling deep regret about it, then put on his coat and ran out. Elizabeth took Jack's hand in her own and started rubbing it, trying to help Jack calm down again.
"I always told you he was a weakling, luv...but you didn't listen to me, did you?" Jack chuckled. His laugh was broken by a sharp intake of breath as another contraction demanded some of his energy. "I see what you mean by a bloody, painful hell now..." he said.
"Oh, if you think this is bad...just wait until they get stronger..." Elizabeth said ominously.
"Don't scare him!" Miranda scolded her, then leaned in to whisper something: "If you do that he could go into distress, and that would be very dangerous to everyone involved." Elizabeth nodded understandingly and went back to calming Jack. Then the door opened. Will was back.
"I decided to make myself useful in another way..." Will said, throwing a bunch of rags into Elizabeth's lap and setting down a bucket of water. "It just didn't feel right to do nothing but go inform the others that Jack was..." he paused as Jack interrupted with a cry of pain and frustration "...in labor...do you need anything, any of you?"
"Rum!" Jack shouted. "Rum, bloody hell, I need some rum! That's the only thing that'll numb this pain!" Tears were beginning to come out of Jack's eyes, and Elizabeth took even more pity on him.
"Oh, poor Jack..." she said. "Will, I suggest you get that rum..." Will stood there, confused. "Go!" Will ran back downstairs and Jack groaned again.
"I don't know how you women stand it..." Jack whimpered.
"Don't feel bad...we don't stand it...we break down just like you are...but it all turns out fine in the end..." Elizabeth said, giving Jack's hand a quick squeeze. Jack didn't seem to be listening clearly. "You'll be okay, Jack...Miranda and I are going to be here the whole time, and Will's going to fetch whatever you need..." Elizabeth reached out with her free hand and slipped off Jack's bandanna, setting it on the table. Will finally opened the door again.
"I bought the strongest stuff I could..." he said, giving the rum in his hand to Elizabeth, who helped Jack drink some of it. Jack fell back onto the pillow, relieved somewhat, and everyone was sure that everything would go smoothly. Until...
"I don't think he should be bleeding this heavily..." Miranda said quietly. Jack lifted his head for a moment but another contraction led him to lay back out, panting.
"By...all means...I shouldn't...even be..." Jack stopped talking and groaned in pain again. "...in this situation..."
"True..." Miranda said, thinking. "I can't think of how to handle this...I need the wound open so that you can do your job...but I can't let you keep bleeding like this...I don't think your water's broken, Jack." she added. Jack lifted his head again.
"Is that bad?" he asked, terrified.
"Usually...but it's only been an hour...and it doesn't always come first..." Miranda said, calmly. "We'll simply have to wait and see..."
"I can't wait..." Jack said, pained. "...I can't wait for all this to be overrrrrrr..." Jack's sentence turned into another shout of agony. "...especially if I have to sit through all this pain..." he finished.
"Ah, good, now I see it..." Miranda said, pleased at something that had just happened.
"See what?" Elizabeth asked. She was getting as excited as Jack was, and she was beginning to pity him so much that she was feeling some stomach spasms herself.
"Took a while...but..." Miranda began.
"Is it almost over?" Elizabeth asked excitedly.
"Nowhere near there, luv..." Jack whimpered. "...it's still in me...it's just that my water finally broke..."
"Well it's a step forward, nonetheless." Elizabeth said. Will coughed, nervous again.
"Is there any way I can make myself useful?" he asked. There was silence with the exception of Jack gasping for breath at a particularly painful contraction.
"Besides maybe killing me...I don't see anything you can do..." Jack said weakly. "I don't think I can go on..."
"Don't think that, Jack...it's this kind of thinking that killed my babies!" Elizabeth protested, rubbing Jack's hand furiously. This got Jack's attention. He didn't want his child to die. Not after he put up with all this. He felt like he had no control over the situation, but for the moment, he was fine with that.
"Then I'll just sit back and let things handle themselves..." Jack said, calming down.
After several hours of this ordeal, Jack had finally reached the final step, and he was beginning to realize just how insane this whole situation was.
"This is insane...I shouldn't be here...I shouldn't be lying in a tavern, in labor...I'm Captain Jack Sparrow..." he said miserably.
"Jack...I keep telling you, it's self doubt that's gonna hurt all of us here..." Elizabeth warned him. Jack was in hell, and he made no attempt at hiding it. Will had long since left.
"Wonderful news, Jack...it's almost over..." Miranda piped up.
"That is wonderful..." Jack said, sighing with relief.
"You just have to push, and it's over..." Miranda added. Jack seemed a bit shocked. Elizabeth couldn't bear to look. "Go on...". Jack took a deep breath and...
Elizabeth had started standing in the corner, unable to bring herself to look. This brought up painful memories of her own children, who hadn't survived this part of the process. Jack was in hell, straining to bring his child into the world, and Elizabeth could only bear to cast quick glances to assure herself that Jack was okay. She knew she loved him, and seeing him in this pain made her deeply regret what she did to Jack 4 years ago. Jack was beginning to give up again, in spite of the cries of protest coming from Miranda.
"Jack..." Elizabeth said, forcing herself to take in the entire scene "...even if you don't survive this, at least know your child will be taken care of...Will and I can raise him. Don't be selfish with your energy, Jack...use it all up if need be..." Jack listened to her, struggling to focus, but he seemed to get the idea. He took another deep breath and pushed, which relieved Elizabeth and Miranda.
"It's almost over, Jack, you're doing well..." Miranda said, rubbing her hands together with anticipation. Jack seemed to be ignoring her, focusing only on the task at hand. Elizabeth looked away again. If Jack had been in hell before, he'd gone to the next circle. His shouts were getting to be a bit much to bear, even for Elizabeth, who had been in this situation for herself and completely understood what Jack was going through. Jack was only focused on two things: his pain and the task at hand, and nothing else was important enough. Jack was absolutely screaming now, and Miranda focused intently on her job.
"They always scream loudest when it's almost over..." Miranda said quietly, hardly audible over Jack's pained interjections. Elizabeth nodded, and Jack continued to struggle, still screaming, for a moment. Then he went quiet with a sigh of relief. Elizabeth turned around. Jack was totally relaxed now, catching his breath again, and Miranda was wiping blood off of something. Elizabeth gagged. New life isn't quite so miraculous as one would think. Elizabeth sat back down next to Jack and held his hand again.
"You're a good man, Jack..." she said quietly. Jack laughed weakly.
"In what way?" he asked, slyly pointing out that Elizabeth would frequently get on his case about how amoral and filthy he was.
"In every way..." Elizabeth said. Jack laughed and then turned his attention to Miranda.
"It's a boy, Jack...now, how about a name?" she asked. Jack thought for a moment.
"Johnny...Johnny Chickadee, I suppose..." he said quietly. "May I see him?"
"Yes..." Miranda said, handing Johnny to Jack.
"This is strange...but pleasant..." Jack muttered to himself and his son. Elizabeth couldn't help but feel jealous, but decided she'd try her hand at some poetry.
"Captain Jack Sparrow, and little Johnny Chickadee, the best and biggest pirate legacy..." Jack looked up from his newborn son.
"That was beautiful, Elizabeth..."