Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers or anything else.
A/N: The narrator makes another cameo appearence! Hooray cameos!
Me and my assistants Carla and Blaze were sitting in my office, discussing things.
"Well look likes the ratings aren't what we expected." Carla said.
"Yeah they seem to be down." Blaze said
"Hmm, what are some of the more popular fics?" I asked
"There mostly slash." Carla said
"What's slash?" Blaze asked. Carla then whispered what it was into his ear. "Eewwww,...yaoi."
"Carla, print me out a list of the most popular slash couples please." I said as I twirled my pimp cane like Dr. House(that's right, I'm pimpin')
"I'm on it." she said as she left the office
"What are you planning?" Blaze asked
"Something desperate." I said. Carla then returned and gave me the print out. "OK, I'll be back. Prepare lunch while I'm gone." I said to Blaze
"Got it." Blaze said as he pulled out a pack of bolonga, bread, and a frying pan.
I made my down the hall to where the rangers were lounging about.
"Tommy, Jason, Adam, Rocky, Andross, Zhane, Leo, Kai, Ryan, Chad, Wes, Eric, Danny, Max, Cam, Hunter, Conner, Ethan, Trent, Sky, Jack, Bridge, Nick, and Xander, come here please." I said as the rangers in question all got up. "Follow me please."
We walked down the hall until we reached a big door. "Go ahead in and get comfy." I said as they were all in, I closed and locked the door.
"What's the deal? And why are we in a giant broom closet?" Adam asked.
"Look, I really hate to do this, but I need ratings. So, I decided to add some slash to this fics." I said threw the door.
"Your insane! Let us outta here!" Hunter said.
"Look, some of you better make with the boy-love or none of you are getting out!" I said
Everyone in the room looked to Sky and Jack.
"Well rookies, get to it." Jason said.
Realizing that they had no choice, Jack and KSy got very close for a kiss when...
"Dude!" Carla said as she ran up to me out of breath. "The ratings are actually great!"
"Really?" I asked
"Yeah, turns out Blaze read them upside down again."
"Cool. OK guys, you can come out." I said as I opened the door and all of them ran out.
Now, hopefully that won't scar Jack and Sky's already fragile relationship. Anyway, let's get back to the story.
Ok, last time we left off, the guys defeated and captured R. Kelly before escaping in the Astro Megaship Mark 26 and a Half Version 6.0, Daggeron went to get some spell custard to heal Fire Heart, and the B.A.S.S. and Astro Megaship passed each other in space. Oh yeah, we Xander and Sam are now traveling with the girls and we know that Sam wears a pink thong to bed(I knew there something odd about that guy). Now lets pick up with the Jenji and Daggeron shall we?
Location: Outside of the Root Core
"Jenji!" Daggeron yelled from inside the Solar Streak Megazord. "Come insdie Jenji!"
"Imma comin'!" Jenji said as he jumped into the zord.
"Here's the plan Jenji, I'm going to shot you into the dragon's mouth. Then I want you to spread this custard inside it and get the hell outta there!"
"Um, Daggeron I not to sure about..." Jenji couldn't finsih his sentence because Daggeron had stuffed him into his lamp with the custard.
"Ready? Magic Shining Jenji Kitty Cat Mystic Genie Lamp Three Wishes Alladin Robin Williams Blue Light Magic Carpet Super Saiyan Dragon Ball Cowboy Bebop MagiShine Smokey MagiRanger Here Come The Power Rangers Solaris I Hope Animal Rights Isn't Watching This Knight Blast Attack!" Daggeron said as he shot Jenji into Fire Heart's mouth. The dragon swallowed Jenji before fainting. "I hope Jenji can spread that custard before the dragon wakes up."
Location: Megaship
"How. Long. Until. We. Arrive. At. Malltopia?" Andross asked Trip. The entire team were dressed in Star Trek style outfits and Andross was trying to give his best Shatner impersonation.
"At least another couple of hours." Bridge(who was working navigation) said.
"Carter. What. Is. Troubling. You?" Andross asked.
"Nothing." Carter said. Andross then waddled his way over to Nick.
"Nick. You. Should. See. Whats. Troubling. Your. Father." Andross said
"He's not my dad."
"You. Know. What. I. Mean."
Nick(who had his cape on over his Star Trek uniform) sighed and went over to Carter.
"Hey Carter, why so blue?" Nick asked
"Well Nick, I'm starting to miss your mother. When we adopted you, we thought it would add some spark to our relationship. But it hasn't." Carter said
"Well when I get sad, I sing a song. You should give it a try."
"I think it will." Carter said as music started to play from seemingly nowhere. "I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me. I can take a few tears now and then just let em out. " from there Carter went on to do a performance of Rascal Flatts' "What Hurts the Most".
After Carter was done, he dropped to the floor crying. The silence of the ship was broken when Sky, a single tear forming in his eye, stood up and began clapping. Soon the rest of the ship joined him in a chorus of claps. Some rangers even tossed roses at his him. Seconds later, everyone's attention turns to a golden pillar of light in the corner of the room. The light then turned into Daggeron, who was holding Fire Heart in his hands.
"Hey Big D." Chip said. "Glad you decided to join us."
"Yeah. Figured I should bring the dragon too. Wouldn't want it to get into more trouble." Daggeron said
"Why didn't you just leave it with Jenji?" Nick asked.
"Well you see.." Daggeron's eyes then got really big. "Chip, do you still know that spell that makes things vomit?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Use it on Fire Heart, hurry!" Daggeron quickly said.
Chip performed the spell and Fire Heart began vomiting violently, in the process freeing Jenji.
"Are you allright old friend?" Daggeron asked. Jenji said nothing. In fact he didn't even move.
"Speak to us Jenji! Do your Genie-Cat dance(the dance he used to subdue Fire Heart)!" Chip cryed. Jenji twitched slightly "Why won't you dance?" Chip continued
"Quickly!" Trip said. "Wes, Lucas take him to my mini lab. We must rebuld him!" Trip said.
"Anyway, you guys got tater tots on this place?" Daggeron asked.
"Cap'n, we have another ship in our area. In fact, it looks just like this one." Justin said in a confused tone.
"Open. A. Video. Communication. Link." Andross said
"No can do. But we can get an audio link. Will that do?" Justin asked.
"Yes. It. Will."
"Ok, link is up."
"Greetings. Other. Ship. I. Am. Captain. Andross. Who. Are. You?" Andross asked.
After a few seconds of silence, a voice comes over the speakers. "I. Am. MegaRed. From The Planent. Earth."
"I. See. My. Meters. Say. That. There. Is. A. Huge. Amount. Of. Power. On. Your. Ship. Are. Any. Of. You. Power. Rangers?" Andross asked
"No. But. We. Are. Members. Of. The. Super. Sentai." MegaRed said.
"I. Have. Heard. Much. About. The. Super. Sentai. Tell. Me. Where. Are. You. Headed?" Andross asked.
"We. Are. Going. To. Get. Our. Womanfolk. From. The. Grasps. Of. Michael. Jackson."
"Well. Then. I. Don't. Want. To. Hold. You. Up. So. Please. Be. On. Your. Way." Andross said.
"Later. Comrades." MegaRed said as the ship flew off into space.
"They seemed like really nice guys." Conner said
"Who were you talking to?" Jason asked as he Tommy, Zack, and Billy entered the room.
"We just had a discussion with some guy from Super Sentai! Ain't it cool?" Conner said happily
Tommy's eyes got huge and he slapped Conner in the face. "Don't you ever speak to those evil murdering Sentais ever again. Do you here me?" Tommy yelled.
"Ok! No prob Dr. O, just stop with the slapping." Conner said
"What's his problem?" Nick asked
"Long story." Zack said as her shoke his head.
Moving right along, let's see what's going on on the B.A.S.S.
Location: B.A.S.S.
Xander sat in the kitchen area, eating some waffles and thinking about how he was going to seperate Lucas and Nadria. Perhaps a spell would work? He would need help for that to work. Vida was out of the question because she'd probally give some sarcastic remark before turning it down. Last time he asked Clair for help with a spell, he ended up getting turned into a panda. Udonna would just give him some kind of silly lecture. Maybe Madison would help? But then again, what if she thought he was trying to break Lucas and Nadria up so that he could get with her? There was no way he was risking that. Then an idea hit him.
"You!" he said as he pointed to Sam.
"Agh! Don't hurt me, I'm only an elected offical!" Sam screamed.
"What?" Xander asked
"Um, nothing. You needed something?"
"Yeah, I kinda need your help with something." Xander then went on to explain his problem to Sam
"Wow, that kinda sucks." Sam said. "Well, I think I can help you out. Just leave it to Uncle Sam."
"Thanks mate. I'm going to go lay down. Being in prison really drains a guy." Xander said.
Location: Megaship
Andross is standing outside of the Megaship. He, like the rest of the crew, is dressed like a pirate with a large hat with a red feather sticking ou of it. Also, he has a monkey on his shoulder for some reason. He took a bite into a red apple he had in his pocket and smiled.
"Chip, what do you see?" Andross yelled to Chip who is sitting in a large crow's nest that they built on top of the ship. It should also be noted that he has on his cape over the pirate costume.
"Malls Cap'n! Malls as far as the eye can see!"
"Argh, I think we're there." Andross said.
"Good." Justin said. He had on alot of eye makeup and his hair was dreaded in some places. Apparently he was doing his best Jack Sparrow inpersonation. "I could really use some rum."
"Ok men!" Andross proclaimed. "We've hit land! Somewhere on this planent, we will find clues to help us find our womanfolk. And while your out there, for the love of God, don't steal any cursed Aztec gold." Andross said "But don't forget our motto."
"Can we sing the song Cap'n?" Jack asked.
"I suppose so. One, two, three!"
"Do what you want cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate!" everyone sang. "Yo ho, live your life free, being a pirate is allright to be! Do as you like cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate!" The crew sang.
"Ok men, let's move out!" Andross said as the crew went out to search the city.
Leo, TJ, Justin, and Carlos were walking threw one of the malls, looking long and hard for a mask shop.
"Cool, Hellmasker, this sounds like a good place to get a mask" Carlos said.
"Good. While your inside, me and TJ will complete out secret blue ranger mission." TJ said
"Wow, how top secret is this mission?" Carlos asked
"It's so top secret that if we tell you about it, we'll die." TJ said.
"I guess I'll go with you." Leo said
"Sounds like fun. Anyway, we'll be back in a few." Carlos said as he and Leo entered the shop.
"Come on Teej, let's go find a Subway so we can get those subs." Justin said. Blue rangers must eat at least five subs a day to survive, and today it was TJ and Justin's day to get the subs.
"Damn, did Billy say if he wanted a cookie or not?" TJ asked.
"Don't think so. Now that I think of it, Billy's been kinda quiet lately. Wonder why that is." Justin simply shrugged it off and they kept on walking.
Carlos scanned the room looking for where the wrestling masks. His current Rey Mysterio mask he was nice, but it was starting to get a little dated. He noticed no Kane, Ultimo Dragon, or any other kind of wrestling masks.
"Excuse me sir, do you happen to have a green and black La Parka mask?" Carlos asked the clerk
"La Parka? Is he that bone wrestling fellow from WCW?" the clerk asked. Carlos nodded. "Sorry boy, we only carry super hero mask here."
"That sucks ass." Carlos said sadly
"Perhaps I coudl interest you and your friend in...these." the clerk said as he opened a closet behind him.
"Oh my stars and garters, it's wonderful."
Location: B.A.S.S.
Xander awoke from his slumber to find Sam setting on the edge of his bed with a worried look on his face.
"Ok, give me news." Xander said expecting the worse.
"Well, I figured that since this was such a vital mission, I should get some help. So I asked Z to help me out. She said this was a toughie and asked Syd for help. Then I had an idea and I emailed Nova to see if she could help. Then we all put our heads to formulate a plan. Sadly we couldn't think of one."
"Well I guess it can't any worse than that." Xander said.
"Actually, when Z told Syd that the mission was Top Secret, Syd thought that she said it was no secret, and told the entire ship. Now everyone thinks your either A) A psycho who doesn't like to see people happy, B) Think you have a thing for Nadria, or C) They think you have a thing for Trip." Sam said.
Xander simply sighed and put his head in his hands. Why did things always fail for him?
Location: Trip's mini lab in the Megaship
"I've done it!" Trip said as he removed the equipment he was wearing. "I have created him!"
The screen flips to Darth Vader like version of Jenji laying on the operating table.
"Rise! Rise Darth Jenji!" Trip said as "Darth Jenji" stood up. "Can you hear me? Speak to me!"
Heavy breathing came from Jenji as he spoke. "Go Jenji, go Jenji!" Jenji said as he did his Genie-Cat dance.
Trip laughed insanely as the screen turned black.
How will Xander deal now that his plan is gone to pieces? And more importantly(in his opinion), what does Madison think of him? WHat mask did the man offer Carlos? Why hasn't Billy had much to say in this story? And what does Tommy have against, as he put it, those evil murdering Sentai? Find out in coming chapters!
A/N: Ok, I'm stopping this chapter here. And in case your wondering, the pirate song the gang sings is not mind. My friend sent it to me through a link and I laughed my ass off(If you ask, I'll send ya a link.) Don't know who made it, but it wasn't me. Anyway, tip your waiters, control the pet population, and GO SOONERS!