After watching Scarlett ascend the stairs to her room, Rhett had gone into the study and tiredly sat down in one of the hard back chairs, stretching his long legs out in front of him and rubbing his large hands over his unshaven face to try and alleviate some of the fatigue. The house was silent as everyone, even Scarlett's father had retired for the night, and he sat in the darkness thinking of what he was doing there. He had agreed to bring her home; how could he have refused when she was actually counting on him alone? She was, after all, the reason he had come back to Atlanta often.
He had reached a decision on the long road to Tara, a decision he had not told Scarlett, partially because he did not want to upset her when she clearly had other things on her mind, and partially because he wanted to make sure she got home safely. He was going to join the army; the boys in gray making their last ditch effort to fight the overbearing foe. It was something he could not explain even to himself, and he knew Scarlett would have been angry if he had left her on the Road to Tara, and besides that, he very well knew that Scarlett's home could have been burned to the ground and she would have been left with Melanie and her baby and Prissy to wander alone, facing impending danger at every turn.
Scarlett could survive on her own, he knew this, but he had been just as unprepared as Scarlett for what they would find when they got here. He thought of her face as she exited the room where her mother lay dead from typhoid. It was white and void of any emotion, but he saw the trauma in her eyes, those beautiful emerald eyes that he could never get enough of. To say that her pain had not affected him in the slightest would have been a lie. He wanted to take her in his arms and whisk her away to any place that would make her forget that any of this had ever happened. But he couldn't, and thinking about it any more tonight wasn't going to do any good. What he needed now was rest, for he was leaving in the morning and he needed his wits about him. He slowly got up from the chair and made his way up the stairs to the room Mammy had graciously fixed up for him upon Scarlett's request.
The upstairs hallway was nearly pitch black save for a beam of moonlight that curiously attracted him to a cracked open door. Quietly creeping up to it with light steps, he cautiously looked to see who's room it was, and when he saw the silhouette of a woman curled up on top of the covers, he knew it was Scarlett's. Why had she left her door open, he wondered. Surely it was not an invitation for him to come visiting during the night, however tempting that would have been. He knew he should have kept walking, but curiosity got the best of him and he slowly pushed the door open, closing it without a sound behind him, and started toward Scarlett's seemingly sleeping form.
As he came closer he was startled to see that she was indeed not sleeping; her eyes were open, staring ahead of her, and in the moonlight he could see shimmering tear tracks on her pale cheeks. For a moment he stood drinking in the image of her still form on the bed, her hair still ruffled from the chignon she had worn it in earlier, as if she had been too tired to do anything about it, the shallow expansion of her ribcage as she breathed, and he was afraid to move lest he startle her. Slowly he came out of his reverie and made his way around the side of the canopy bed until he was nearly facing her. It was as if she did not see him at first, for she did not move. Then, as if she were awaking form a dream-like state, she blinked and her eyes connected with his in the dim light. Her reaction to him being there in the middle of the night, alone in her room with her, puzzled him greatly, for she neither screamed nor showed any hint of surprise. Instead she just lay there, staring at him with a hunted look in her eyes, and his heart ached for her. Gingerly he sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to brush a stray tendril of hair behind her ear before wiping away a stray tear from her cheek with his right thumb. As his hand made contact with her warm skin, he watched as she closed her eyes and her face contorted as she tried to hold back a sob. Immediately he pulled his hand away from her face, but when she reached her hand up and grasped his, he immediately responded by leaning over and gathering her in his arms, bringing them both into a sitting position against the headboard of the bed. She grasped his shirt as he pulled her onto his lap. How small delicate she was! And yet, he grasped her tightly, feeling the warmth of her skin through her thin nightgown, lightly touching her hair.
"Why, Rhett?" she whispered, and he knew she was talking about her mother, about her father and Tara and about being alone.
"I know, darling," he crooned softly into her ear. It was as if his words willed her to release all of the pent up anxiety, numbness and fatigue that she was feeling, for she suddenly sobbed into his shoulder, her tears soaking through his shirt as he held her head to his chest. They sat for what seemed like forever, until the silence became such that Rhett thought she had fallen asleep nestled in his arms. His lips lightly brushed the top of her head and he shifted her in his arms, but she slowly raised her head off of his shoulder, still grasping his shirt, and then stared into his dark eyes. He could feel the hammering of his heart in his chest as he searched her wide eyes for something he wasn't quite sure of. It only took the slightest movement of her head toward his before his heart lurched and he nervously leaned forward, softly brushing his lips against hers. He heard her take in a sharp breath, and he immediately pulled back to see her eyes closed as if expecting more. A voice in the back of his mind was telling him that he shouldn't be here, not when she was so vulnerable.
It was Scarlett who took the step he was hesitating to take. She opened her eyes quickly, and moving her left hand from his chest to his rough cheek, she leaned in and kissed him firmly on the mouth, causing any reservations he had before to flee his mind. She brought her other hand up to grasp his hair, parting her lips to let him deepen the kiss. Regaining the initiative, Rhett gently broke the kiss and moved his lips to her forehead before undoing the buttons on his shirt and easing them both down onto the bed so that they were laying side by side. Neither of them spoke as he reached out to run his large hand down the length of her body, feeling her shiver at his touch.
She watched his face as touched her, conscious of his hand on her body but even more aware of the sensation that this was what she needed to take her mind off of the events of the past few days. She was not afraid of him as she had thought she would be. Or had she ever fleetingly thought that one day she would be in this situation with Rhett? It did not matter in this moment as a curiosity to feel his skin washed over her. Gingerly she brought one hand up to his chest and pushed the fabric of his shirt off of his shoulder, running the tips of her fingers over the contours of the hard muscles on his arm and upper chest. Swiftly he sat up and shrugged his shirt all the way off, throwing it to the floor before laying back down beside her and continuing the roaming of his hand all the while silently telling her it was okay to touch him.
Scarlett inched closer to him on the bed as his hand found the hem of her nightgown and began moving slowly up her leg, her hip and over her stomach until his fingers brushed the underside of her breast. Her breathing became more rapid, as this was a new sensation to her. Charles had never touched her so delicately or with such feeling as Rhett was doing now, and when his thumb, with slight pressure, brushed over her hard nipple, her hands splayed on his chest and she let out a soft moan which prompted Rhett to kiss her again with passion while kneading her breast at the same time. This became nearly too much for Scarlett to bear, but she could think of nothing else beside the foreign throbbing sensation she was experiencing and the fact that she knew she wanted more. He shifted more on top of her, allowing room for her other arm to snake around him. With an agility she didn't know she possessed, Scarlett pulled him closer and ran her hands down his broad back, feeling his muscles move with agility as he continued his ministrations, until her fingertips found the waistband of his trousers. He broke the kiss and watched with anticipation as her hand moved between them to his belt and she tried, with minimal luck, to unbuckle it. He saw her brow furrow in frustration and he smiled softly before rolling over onto his back and removing his trousers himself.
When he was beside her again, Scarlett, for the first time that night, felt her cheeks burn with a sense of nervousness and shame. She was nervous because she had never quite been in this situation and certainly never with a man as intoxicating and capable of making her forget herself as Rhett. Shameful because they were not married, and all her life she had been taught that this was wrong. Rhett must have sensed her discomfort because he brought his hand up to trace her features with his fingers, kissing her softly and whispering that this was not wrong. After a night of emotional shock, his soft but deep voice calmed her unsettled heart, and she suddenly felt intensely drawn to him.
Scarlett tentatively wrapped her arm around his waist and he rolled on top of her, positioning himself between her legs. She was breathing sporadically beneath him and he could feel the heat emanating from both of their bodies.
"You're sure," he whispered, nipping at her pale neck. It was more as a statement than as a question. His head snapped up and his eyes sought hers as she brought her hands up to his face, pulling him in for a soft kiss. It was all the incentive he needed. He slowly entered her and both lay still for a moment, breathing heavily, and hearts hammering in anticipation.
Scarlett scanned his eyes in the darkness; he was making her feel better than she had in a long time; it was what she needed, she realized. This was different from anything she had experienced before, and the look of passion she saw written in his eyes, coupled with the heartache she had suffered earlier that night brought tears to her eyes. She wanted to be taken to another place. Bringing her arms around his shoulders, she lightly thrust her hips up to meet Rhett's as he began moving with her. They were careful not to make too much noise lest someone catch them in this forbidden moment, but as the minutes passed by and their passion grew, Rhett buried his head in her hair and grunted with expectation, tickling her ear with his hot breath which caused a tremor to shoot through her body and a stifled moan to escape her lips. She clung to him and their lips met again several times before the pressure she felt in her lower stomach made her shut her eyes tighter as Rhett erotically drove into her. On the brink of release she subconsciously dug her nails into his shoulders and brought her lips to his chest, not realizing that her steaming breath on his skin was nearly driving him into oblivion. Suddenly Rhett's mouth swooped down and his lips claimed hers once more in a sensual kiss that finally drove her over the edge. They traded the sighs of rapture, mouth to mouth, until they collapsed together on the bed in fatigue.
After lying still for a few minutes, the cool night air washed over their bodies and Rhett sat up briefly to pull the covers up, wrapping his right arm and the sheet around Scarlett's slightly trembling form. He couldn't believe what had transpired between them that night. It seemed almost surreal. He had wanted her for so long, and now that it had happened under such heavy circumstances, he was not quite sure what to think. He knew he would not have traded this moment for the world, and yet the decision he had made earlier in the night crept up on him unexpectedly. He had to leave, partly for his pride and now because he was not sure how Scarlett would react to their situation in the morning. She had been so eager tonight, as if she loved him without knowing it, but he knew that much of her desperation had to do with her mother's death and the life that she knew lay ahead of her. Oh, but he would give anything to whisk her away if she would only let him. If only.
Wanting to feel closer to her and relish the peaceful solitude they were enveloped in, Rhett wrapped his arms around Scarlett's waist and rolled over onto his back, bringing her on top of him and kissing the top of her head.
"Scarlett, are you still awake?" he asked softly, running his hands down her back.
Scarlett moved her left hand up and placed it on his chest next to her face. "Yes," she whispered.
"'Scarlett, I'm leaving in the morning." It came out as a rush of breath and he waited with trepidation for her reaction.
"Why?" she asked tiredly.
His fingers wove through her hair and he was silent for a moment before replying, "I'm going to join the army. I decided earlier tonight before we got here, it's something I have to do."
Scarlett sighed into his chest, her fingers lightly brushing over his skin. "And what about me?"
Rhett's heart began to beat hard again at her words. Did this mean she cared? Could she love him? He didn't think it possible. Still, the way she had spoken them and the way she shifted slightly to better mold her body to his prompted him to voice his thoughts out loud: "I do love you, Scarlett, despite what I said that evening on your Aunt Pitty's porch."
He looked down and saw her close her eyes. "Please don't tease me, Rhett. Not tonight. Just hold me."
A pang of disappointment coursed through his veins at her reaction. She thought he was joking, but what did he expect? Still, he was more than happy to comply with her last words. At least she did not push him away. Instead he wrapped one arm around her back and continued to comb his fingers through her hair until his eyelids became too heavy. He drifted off to sleep with the intoxicating scent that was Scarlett, vowing that he would come back for her one day.