Collins and Benny went out and with Roger at April's apartment, Mark was alone. He was going over some reels of film. Reels he hadn't looked at since he edited them 3 years earlier. They were of Roger and his sister. She had told him she was pregnant a week before her birthday and he didn't know how his parents were gonna take the news that she and Roger had gotten married on her 18th birthday and that she was pregnant, so Mark wanted to take as much film as possible. Even with that hanging over them, she looked so happy. They both did. They looked like they didn't have a care in the world. He tried to get that entire last week on film. His sister had a way of lighting up a room. Not many people in their school approved of her dating Roger at first. Her friends made it impossible for her, but she didn't care. She liked Roger and didn't think the fact that she was a cheerleader and he was a metal head was a big enough reason not to date him. Mark was deep in thought when the phone rang.
"Hello." Mark answered smiling at the reel that was playing. It was Amanda and Roger at the diner. They were feeding each other French fries and they were laughing. He remembered Amanda's infectious laugh. Once she got started everyone had to join in. Roger was so happy. He was holding her in his arms and his hand was placed on the slightly swollen belly that held his child. He would give anything to see his friend even half that happy again.
"Mark, you have to come over." Roger said with barely a whisper. He sounded like he had been crying. Mark hadn't seen Roger in almost a week, so God only knew what he was doing to himself. Hearing his voice snapped him out of his memories.
"Roger, what's wrong? What happened? Where are you?" he asked taking his attention away from his film.
"Mark, you have to come over. It's… it's April. Something happened." Roger whispered sniffling.
"What happened? Where's April? Let me talk to April." Mark insisted staring at his sisters smiling face on the wall.
"You can't. April... she's dead. And so am I." he told him beginning to cry again.
"I'm coming over. Don't do anything stupid. Do you hear me? Roger, tell me you heard me." Mark screamed into the phone scared for Roger.
"Mhm, I heard you, Mark. Just come over. I… I don't know what to do." he told him through his tears.
"I'm coming." Mark yelled hanging up the phone before rushing out of the loft. Leaving his film running. All he couldn't think about on the way to April's apartment was Amanda. How could Roger have wound up like this? He came from a good home in a good neighborhood. He never did drugs before coming to the city. Sure drugs were around, but he didn't need them. He had Amanda. "How could this be happening to him?" he asked himself as he walked towards April's apartment. "Mandy, I'm trying to take care of him, but I need a little help. Please. You know how heartbroken he is over you. I'm only one person, you have to help me help him. Please." he begged talking to his sister in his head. As he approached the building he could only imagine what he was gonna find. April on the bed or the floor with a needle sticking out of her arm and Roger half out of it. He opened the front door and went up the 3 flights of stairs to her apartment and started pounding on the door. "Roger, it's Mark. Open the door." he yelled as he heard the door unlock. As Roger opened the door the sight of him frightened Mark. He was thinner than he was a week earlier and his eyes were dull and sad and he was covered in blood. "Roger, where's April?" Mark asked pushing past Roger panicked. Roger didn't say anything. He just pointed to the bathroom. "Oh God, what the hell happened?" Mark asked brushing his fingers through his short blond hair as he looked in the bathroom. April was laying on the floor half leaning against the bathtub. There was blood everywhere and she was white as a sheet. Roger still said nothing. "Tell me this wasn't you." he yelled as Roger stood before him with tears streaking his face. He simply handed him the note April left for him. "What… what is this?" he asked looking down at it. We've Got AIDS! is all the note said. "Roger, say something. What does this mean?" Mark asked frustrated with Roger's silence.
"I woke up and... I found her like this. I didn't do it. I… I was passed out in the bedroom. She must have gone to the clinic to get her HIV test results. We're positive." he told him quietly not looking him in the eye.
"You're what?" Mark asked looking up at him.
"I have AIDS, Mark. My life is over. April and I have AIDS." he told him a little louder.
"OK, you're telling me that April killed herself because she found out that you have AIDS?" Mark asked attempting to comprehend what he was hearing.
"Yes." he told him looking down.
"I have to call the police. Go get cleaned up." Mark told him as he picked up the phone. He couldn't believe the mess Roger got himself into. "OK Mandy, what am I supposed to do now?" Mark asked her in his head as he dialed the phone. "Roger's dying and he's hooked on heroin. How do you expect me to clean this mess up?" he asked out loud looking up.
"Mark, it's not her fault, it's mine. She didn't do this." Roger yelled at him, hearing Mandy's name.
"I'm sorry, Roger. I… I didn't mean to bring her into this. I'm just looking for some divine intervention here. I don't know what to do anymore." he looked over at him.
"Mark, I'm sorry. I really fucked everything up, huh?" he said coming out of April's bedroom.
"Roger, I really need to do this. We'll talk about everything later." Mark said as Roger sat on the couch.
"How did this happen to me?" Roger asked quietly staring into space.
"Roger, you've had a rough time of it these last few years, but we have to get you passed this. We will get you past this." Mark said hanging up the phone and sitting on the couch next to him.
"I don't want to get passed it, Mark. I'm done. I'm ready to die. I want to be with Mandy. I can't make it without her. Apparently." he told him as tears poured out of his eyes.
"Roger, listen to me. I know you miss her. I miss her too, but you have to go on. We both do. She wanted to come here so you could be a rock star. I remember how excited she was whenever she used to watch you perform. And you never took your eyes off of her. You were a rock god to her and she was your groupie." Mark told him smiling thinking about it.
"She wasn't a groupie, Mark. She was my muse. My reason for doing all of it. And now look at me. She's gone, April's dead and I'm dying. My life is a mess without her in it." he told him burying his face in his hands crying.
"I know. Everything is gonna be OK. I'm sorry about April, but I'm gonna help you get off of the heroin." Mark told him putting his arm around Roger's shoulder.
"Why Mark? I'm dead anyway. Just like Mandy. Why won't you let me just die and be with her already? It's all I've wanted since I lost her." he yelled getting up.
"Why? Because I loved my sister and she loved you. She always knew you were gonna do great things. Just because she's gone and your HIV positive doesn't mean you're allowed to give up. Do you think she would want you to give up like this?" Mark asked looking up at him.
"I doesn't matter, Mark. This is way too hard without her. I fucked up my life and now I'm gonna die because of it." he told him staring at the closed bathroom door.
"They have medicine for HIV now. You could take it and live longer." Mark told him getting up.
"Live longer for what? Just to die anyway? No thanks. I'm good." he asked looking over at him.
"Maybe you can put your life back together, so one of the last memories of the love of my sisters life isn't this strung out junkie you turned into you." Mark yelled pacing the apartment.
"For what? So I can fucking die anyway. I just wanna be done with this life. First I lost my precious Mandy, then I get hooked on heroin and contract AIDS and April kills herself. I'm just sick of it. How much of this can one guy take?" Roger yelled back before running out of the apartment leaving Mark to call the police and deal with the aftermath of April's suicide.
"OK Mandy, what do I do now? Tell me. You see him. How am I supposed to fix that, huh?" he yelled looking up as he started crying. Here he was, barely 19 and he was watching his best friend slowly take his life. He needed Amanda's help. He needed her to help him get through to Roger. He didn't think taking out the pictures would quite work this time. He had to think of something else. As he was thinking, the police arrived and took his statement before taking April's body away. When everyone was gone, he went through April's room to pack up all of Roger's things before leaving to go find Roger.
"Where the hell could he be? He left April's 6 hours ago." Mark asked pacing around the loft as Collins sat slumped on the couch.
"I don't know Mark, but you asking every 5 minutes where he is isn't getting him home quicker." Collins said getting frustrated.
"I'm sorry. I'm just really worried about him. He just found out he's HIV positive and his girlfriend just killed herself." Mark said as the door to the loft slid open. It was Roger. He looked like he had been shooting up. "Roger, where the hell have you been?" Mark asked rushing over to him.
"Not now. I'm going to bed. I'll talk to you later." he said without looking up at him.
"Later when? April just killed herself and you go out to shoot up." Mark yelled as Roger looked up at him. His eyes were soaked from tears.
"And she killed me too Mark. What else is there?" he asked wiping his eyes.
"You can live with this rather than die from it, you know? I went to the clinic around the corner and got you some things." he said going towards the kitchen where there were pamphlets sitting on the metal counter.
"Mark, I just found out I'm positive, can you not act like an after school special please?" he asked getting angry.
"Just read them. You're not gonna die. At least not yet." he told him looking over at him.
"Drop it. I need to get some sleep." Roger yelled going into his room and slamming the door.
"What the hell do we do now?" Mark asked looking over at Collins.
"I don't know Mark, but you need to let Roger take care of Roger." he said getting up off of the couch.
"We've been over this. Roger just wants to die and I'm not about to let that happen. I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure he survives this." he said running his fingers through his hair.