"Don't make me kill you man." Collins called out as Roger bolted for the door.
"Just one, Collins. I swear. Then I'll be fine." he insisted as Collins grabbed him.
"No way, man. Remember you're doing this for Mandy. To be the man she knew you could be." Collins told him bringing him to the couch.
"I know, but it hurts so damn bad." he answered as Collins put on the projector. The films of Roger and Mandy served as a deterrent for Roger. All he had to do was see Amanda and he forgot about his craving. He would watch the same footage over and over again and he would tell Collins stories about her. When Mark and Benny were there they would reminisce about her. Her beauty, her love for life and the way they were together.
"I love watching you two together." Collins smiled watching the footage. No matter how many times he saw it, he never got tired of seeing how happy the two of them were to be together. "So tell me about the first night you two, you know." Collins asked smiling at him.
"She looked so beautiful that night. But she always looked beautiful. She wore a pink shirt and this amazing pink skirt that I loved. It was long and looked so amazing on her. Pink was definitely her color. My parents had gone away for the weekend, so we planned to go to my house and have a romantic night, just me and her. I cleaned my room and everything. I was so nervous. It was my first time too. Afterwards, I played a tape I made for her and I held her in my arms in my bed. I used to write her songs and I recorded them on a tape. We were dating 6 months by then and she loved that tape. I knew I wanted to marry her that night." he told him smiling.
"You knew after 6 months that you wanted to marry her?" Collins asked smiling back.
"Yeah. She had such a way, you know? I mean her friends thought I was a freak, but she saw the good in me and knew how to reach in and bring it out. Poor Mark, we subjected him to a lot of awkward moments." Roger said laughing.
"I can imagine poor Mark with you two." Collins laughed as Mark and Benny entered the loft.
"Hey Rog. How you doing?" Benny asked looking over at the film.
"I'm OK now. I was just telling Collins about mine and Mandy's first time." Roger told him smiling at Mark.
"I didn't want to hear about it from my sister and I don't wanna hear about it from you?" Mark asked going into his room.
"So tell me about all the awkward moments you put Mark through." Collins asked sitting back.
"It wasn't just Mark. Other's suffered too." Benny said laughing as he drank a glass of water.
"Yeah, we had a way of only seeing each other when we were together." Roger told him laughing.
"Tell Collins about the time you guys made out through 3 songs at the Homecoming dance senior year." Benny laughed as Roger smiled at Collins.
"Yeah, like I said, we only saw each other." Roger told him laughing.
"One of the songs was that Frankie song." Benny said smiling at him
"What the Relax one?" Collins asked smiling at Roger who was nodding as he laughed. "Geez boy, you're not kidding." he said laughing.
"I'm really tired. I'm gonna go lay down for a little while." Roger told them smiling at him.
"You OK Rog?" Collins asked as he got up to turn off the projector.
"Hang on." Roger told him as he watched himself and Amanda at the diner laughing. "OK, I'm good. Thanks." he told him before turning around and going into his bedroom.
"I can't believe that works." Benny said as Roger closed the door.
"Yeah, I know. But he sees her and he gets the strength to move on. Then he starts telling me about her and it's like magic. He's a different Roger." Collins told him smiling. "I like watching them together."
"You would have loved her. She was really an amazing girl. She was super cool. Even though she turned Roger into mush. It was funny really, I mean, he was this tough leather jacket wearing bad ass and then he asked her out and he was different. It was a good different too. I mean you saw them together and believed that everyone had a soul mate and she was his even at that age. There was nothing like it." Benny told him smiling at Roger's door.
"I just hope this keeps on working on him." Collins told him getting up.
"It will. You never saw them together in the flesh. He would do anything for her. I mean anything." Benny said as Mark came out of his room.
"How was Roger this morning?" Mark asked looking up at Collins.
"It was rough for a bit, but I put the projector on and he was fine." he answered smiling at him.
"You know, I remember that night." Mark told him sitting on the couch.
"We thought you didn't want to hear about it?" Benny asked laughing.
"I never wanted to hear about the specifics, but I do remember when she came home from her date with him that night. She was so happy. I remember she came into my room to say goodnight to me, like she always did. She told me how happy she was." he started before breaking down.
"You really haven't had much of a chance to mourn her, have you?" Collins asked sitting next to him.
"Not really. I mean, I was busy wondering where Roger was and how he was doing. I remember how devastated he was when she died. I worried about him. I knew he would take it hard." he told him crying into his hands.
"Mark, you're allowed to cry you know. She was your sister. Your best friend in the world. She was your world too. Not just his. It's OK, you know?" Collins said putting his arm around him.
"I never wanted to mourn her, you know? I mean I just wanted to remember how she lived. She wasn't afraid of anything. She never was. When we were little and my older sister Cindy would pick on me, Mandy would get in her face to leave me alone. She always protected me. She always stood up for me. And then when she started dating Roger, she made sure we were friends. She didn't want to make me feel left out just because she started dating him. I remember for her 17th birthday, Roger took me out to help him with her present." Mark told him wiping his eyes.
"The locket, right?" Benny asked as Mark nodded.
"Yeah, I was into taking pictures then, so I had a lot of Roger and Mandy. He wanted me to get pictures of them when they first started dating and a more recent one of them and make them small enough to put in the locket." he told them as Roger came out of his room.
"I remember the night I gave her that locket." Roger said quietly as he went over to the couch.
"I don't want to know." Mark said laughing as he got up.
"Mark, sit down. It's not like that." Roger told him laughing with him.
"OK, but if this story leads to you defiling my sister, I'm out of here." Mark said sitting down as Benny sat on the couch with them.
"She looked so beautiful. She had on this beautiful sheer pink top that flared out with a white spaghetti strap tank top underneath it and light blue tight jeans. Her hair was half up and half down and she was wearing these heart earrings that hung from her ears. Your parents got them for her for her sweet 16. I took her out to dinner and we were sitting in my car by the school. We used to go there when we didn't want anyone to find us. The lighting by the football field was always so incredible. I handed her the box and told her I loved her in Spanish. I asked her out outside her Spanish class. She loved it so much. You would have thought I gave her a million dollars in diamonds or something." he told them as tears ran down his face. "What ever happened to that locket anyway?" he asked looking up at Mark.
"My mom had her buried wearing it. Just like all the other things you gave her. The double heart ring you gave her for your anniversary, her engagement and wedding rings and all the tapes you made her. She wanted Mandy and the baby to have you with them." he told him crying.
"I'm sorry for everything, Mark. I shouldn't have left the night she died. I should have been there for her funeral. I should have been there for you. You shouldn't have to take care of me, I'm older. She wanted me to take care of you." Roger said looking over at him.
"Roger, I knew you would be lost without her. You need me." Mark told him as Roger put his arm around him.
"But she was your sister, Mark. I was selfish and self centered." Roger said leaning to hug him.
"I miss her so much, Roger." Mark said crying into his shoulder.
"I know. So do I." Roger told him as they cried together.