Rollercoaster – Part Two

Shit. I can't remember the last time I've been this hung-over, Draco thought as his temples throbbed, and his brain seemed to smash against his head with every movement.

He briefly considered not Healing himself to teach him a lesson, but decided that he'd be too irritable and take it out on Harry if he didn't.

Sighing, he turned his attention inwards and then firmly cancelled all the poisonous-like substance out of his system. Normally he pushed out the alcohol, but this way was far more comfortable for him, and he had enough energy to spare to keep himself comfortable.

Last night . . . What had happened last night?

Looking around him, Draco discovered that Harry did not seem to be anywhere in his flat. Concern almost close to hysteria washed over him. Had he and Harry fought last night? Or had Draco forgotten to go to Harry's place? Was Harry okay? Was Harry mad with him? What if Harry was with someone else -

And his memories came back to him in a flash.

He fell to his knees, the ache in his heart too large to be pushed aside, painful sobs being pulled from his body, shivering in the cold morning and unable to make the pain stop.

Oh god. I knew something like this was bound to happen. Why did I open myself up to him? Why did I allow myself to care for him?

People like Harry just don't expect me to even be able to fall in love.

Or even care that they hurt me when I do.

Why hadn't he learnt that by now?

hdhdhd

Draco was awoken by the sound of several owls beating themselves against his window.

With a suppressed groan, he opened the window, and they piled in on top of each other. Draco was dismayed to say Harry's own snowy white Hedwig with the rest of them.

Sighing, he sat down.

He had letters to write.

hdhdhd

Draco,

When you get this note, please write back to me. I'm worried about you, and I'm confused. I miss you so much. Can we meet someplace? Say Hogsmeade at 8pm tonight? I know you said not to contact you again in the note you left at my place, but I need to.

Harry.

hdhdhd

Potter,

Haven't you caused me enough pain already? I don't want to go anywhere with you. You'll just stick knives into my heart as soon as you get the chance. Find another person who's willing to be shagged by you, Potter; I bet that Muggle man in the club wouldn't object.

Leave me the hell alone.

Malfoy.

hdhdhd

Malfoy,

Harry's absolutely inconsolable, you idiot!

Hermione Granger.

hdhdhd

Granger,

Well I'm drunk. Beat that.

Malfoy.

hdhdhd

Ferret Face,

I will kill you for hurting Harry.

Ronald Weasley.

hdhdhd

Ginger-top-who-has-no-money-and-is-far-less-attractive-than-me,

I haven't done a thing wrong and I'd like to see you try.

Now leave me the hell alone.

Malfoy-who-has-more-money-and-is-far-more-attractive-than-you.

hdhdhd

DRACO MALFOY,

IF YOU DO NOT DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW, I WILL PERSONALLY COME OVER AND ENSURE THAT YOU DO! FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, YOU HAD SOMETHING YOU ENJOYED. NOW GO AND MAKE IT RIGHT AGAIN!

I hope you're feeling alright, darling. I'll see you soon.

Love,

Mother.

hdhdhd

Mum,

I outgrew Howlers when I was 14! I'm not going to try and remedy this situation. I'm sick of it, and I didn't do anything wrong besides try to commit.

I'm feeling fine, thanks mother. And yourself? I look forward to seeing you back from your holiday.

Love,

Draco.

hdhdhd

The moronic idiot who happens to be my best friend,

What the hell did you do?

Pansy.

hdhdhd

The interfering bitch who happens to be my best friend,

I didn't do anything. Now go away and tell the rest of those big-nosed do-gooders to go with you.

Draco.

hdhdhd

Draco,

How are you feeling, honey? I'm sorry to hear about you and Harry breaking up. But are you sure it's something you both can't fix? You and he seem to be made for each other. Why not give it another chance? Harry wouldn't have meant to hurt you.

Ginny.

hdhdhd

Ginny,

Finally, someone who's not screaming at me about this entire situation. I'm alright, I guess. I think I've been drinking a little too much lately though. I haven't been able to get rid of the after effects of it as well as I normally do.

I've tried so hard, Ginny. I really mean it. And it wasn't easy.

I'm not going to give him another chance. I can't.

Draco.

hdhdhd

Draco,

Lay off the alcohol completely. If you don't, and someone else finds out you're going to be in so much trouble. Even more than it sounds like you're in now.

I know it wasn't your fault, honey. But it wasn't Harry's either. You know he gets a lot nervous about admitting he's with someone. He can't help it.

If it wasn't easy, then why are you giving up so suddenly? I never thought you'd be one to give up easily.

Why can't you give him another chance, Draco? You both want it.

Ginny.

hdhdhd

Ginny,

Who gives a crap if I'm drinking? No one. And it's nobody else's business either.

We both know that it's not admitting the fact that he's going out with someone that makes him nervous; it's admitting the fact that he's going out with me.

Well, he was going out with me. I don't give anymore. Why should I even bother?

There are a lot of things you don't know about me.

If I don't open up, I can't be hurt again. That's my new policy.

Draco.

hdhdhd

Malfoy,

I can't believe you! How can you do this to Harry and then insult Ron and everyone else that tries to help? I'm going to kill you!

Hermione Granger.

hdhdhd

Granger,

If you don't intend to carry out that threat would you mind not getting my hopes up?

Malfoy.

hdhdhd

To Whom It May Concern:

I'm going away for a few days. I might see you all later. I'm not really sure at this point.

Draco Malfoy.

hdhdhd

This was exactly what he needed, Draco decided as he lounged around in the five star Hilton Hotel at Australia. A little time out from the world.

And Australia was the last place anyone would check for him; he and Harry had gone there for their last holiday together, and Draco didn't often go to the same place two times in a row.

Harry … I miss you …

In some part of his mind, Draco knew that he was being totally unreasonable; all his friends and his mother would be searching for him frantically at home, and if they found him he'd be in deep trouble. But he wasn't really up to thinking past the present moment for now.

For the past two days, all he'd done was lie around and wallow in his misery. Perhaps he was wasting time and money, but he wasn't needed at home, and Draco was tired.

Escaping was the only thing he'd been thinking of when he'd sneaked out of his flat, and in his heartbreak, the only place he could think of running away to was the last place he and Harry had been truly alone together; not that they'd stayed at the Hilton.

Draco smiled a little as he remembered Harry stubbornly insisting that he was not going to stay in an overpriced piece of flashy junk. In the end, Draco was glad that Harry had put his foot down; the place they had stayed at was absolutely beautiful.

He'd tried to get a reservation there before coming to the Hilton, but the rooms were all taken up.

With a groan, he rolled out of the large bed in his hotel room, and padded over to the kitchen bench.

His mother would be frantic, and Draco didn't want her to worry about him anymore than she already did. He felt a twinge of guilt about not telling her sooner, but soon shrugged it off; what was done was done, after all.

He scrawled a note telling her that he was fine, and he just needed some time out from the world on a piece of paper before charming it to apparate at her place. Owls would attract too much attention around this Muggle hotel, and Draco didn't want any of that.

His stomach growled at him, and he looked down in surprise. Perhaps he had been neglecting his body during the past few days.

He called room service and ordered several small dishes, directing the staff to leave the food in the fridge before locking himself in the small, gleaming bathroom and showering.

Draco managed to keep himself occupied, and too busy to fall bait to his grief again.

But after he'd cleaned his body, washed his hair, dried himself, pulled on clean nightwear, eaten, brushed his teeth, and collapsed back into bed, he realised something; he was wearing a pair of Harry's pyjamas.

He curled up in a ball and cried himself to sleep.

hdhdhd

Draco awoke sometime in the night to the feeling of someone looking him over. It was storming outside, and he was suddenly terrified. He hated storms, and it felt like someone was looking at him; he shuddered, pulled the covers over his head and firmly scolded his delusional side for freaking him out.

But the prickling feeling didn't go away; in fact, it intensified, and Draco thought he heard someone fidgeting and a slight cough.

He screamed and reached for his wand, only to come face-to-face with the one person that he did not want to see.

"Harry." he gasped, recovering from the shock of his life.

"Draco," Harry replied with a slight nod of his head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"I wasn't scared," Draco snapped automatically.

"Of course not," the brunette said smoothly.

There was an awkward silence.

"Harry, what do you want?" Draco asked tiredly. "I came here to get away from –"

"We were all worried about you," Harry said in a rush. "The notes you left seemed a little suicidal. I just came to see if you were alright."

Draco raised an eyebrow, and kept the pain caused by Harry's tactless words firmly hid away behind the Malfoy mask he had cultivated in his childhood. "Well I am fine, and as far from suicidal as I normally am. So now that seen all that you wanted to see, will you go away and leave me alone?"

Harry sighed. "I didn't mean it that way, Draco. We were all worried about you."

Draco glared at him. "I am as good as I can be considering the circumstance."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harry cried. "Hell, I didn't mean to say what I said at the club! It just slipped out!"

"Go away now, Harry."

"The only way I'm leaving is if you come with me, and everything goes back to the way it was before the club."

Draco shook his head in disgusted disbelief. "I cannot believe you, Potter."

"WHAT? I JUST WANT EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT AGAIN!" Harry yelled at him.

"NOTHING WAS PERFECT TO BEGIN WITH, YOU BASTARD! I'M SO SICK OF HIDING MY FEELINGS! I'M SO SICK OF YOU NOT RETURNING THEM!" Draco screamed back. "Maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to get over you and find someone who actually cares for me."

There was a shocked silence before Harry let out a strangled sob, and Draco rolled his eyes despite the guilt he felt pooling up within him. The brunette sank back down onto the couch, his face hidden in his hands, shoulders shaking.

Draco sighed, and hating himself for doing it, stood up, dragged the blanket off his bed and walked over to Harry, sitting beside him on the couch, and arranging the blanket over both of them before pulling the brunette into his arms.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't mean to upset you," he whispered over and over again, kissing the top of Harry's head.

Draco stiffened as he felt Harry beginning to return the embrace, and then sighed and relaxed. The blond frowned as he tried to comprehend what Harry was mumbling. He strained his hearing, and to his great shock heard:

"… 'm so sorry, Draco, love you so much, didn't want to hurt you. Miss you, want you to come back with me. Wanted everything to be perfect, but I screwed it up, I always do –"

He does like me after all, Draco thought dazedly. It was slightly too much for him to take in; one moment he was single and heartbroken, and the next, he had everything he could possibly want in his arms.

Draco realised that Harry was still muttering, so he silenced Harry the only way he could; he leaned forward, and gently pressed his lips against the brunette's.

hdhdhd

"I did mean it, you know," Harry said after he had stopped crying into Draco's shoulder.

"What?" Draco asked, still stunned.

"When I said I love you."

Draco smiled sweetly. "I know,"

The brunette blushed. "Does this mean that you forgive me?"

"Does this mean we can have a normal, healthy relationship?" Draco countered.

"I'm sorry," Harry muttered. "I just thought that if neither of us said it, then we wouldn't put pressure on the relationship." He looked up at Draco, eyes flashing. "I haven't had much experience in this sort of thing."

"I can tell." the blond replied dryly, but smiled gently.

"Can you forgive me?" the brunette asked, biting his lip in a way Draco found completely enthralling and adorable.

"Of course I can, you silly prat," he said softly. "I love you."

Harry laughed in relief. "Love you too."

hdhdhd

"Where are you going?" Harry asked somewhat grumpily as Draco clambered out of bed the next morning.

He smiled inwardly. "Just to send a note to my mother," he replied.

"Come back soon," Harry grumbled, and dove back under the blankets.

Draco laughed, and left the room, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen along the way.

Dear Mother,

Harry came after me. We're together, for real this time.

I assume that a number of people had quite a lot of influence in this event. Please pass my thanks on to them.

Harry and I are going to stay where I am for a while longer. He's trying to convince me to leave my job! But he's not the only one who wants me to, I'm guessing (yes, I'm referring to you).

We're actually talking things through for once. I don't think I could be any happier than I am right now.

He said he loves me, and I believe him.

Love,

Draco.

Draco sat still for a few moments, looking out the window. It was still raining heavily, and the weather suited his mood perfectly.

He contemplated the short note to his mother, running his fingers over the surface of the paper.

I really want this, he thought. I know father used to tell me that I shouldn't give my heart to anyone because then I would also be giving them my trust, and to a certain extent, I suppose he was right. I honestly love Harry, but can I trust him after what he said back at the club? It's not that I don't want to be with him … It's just that every time he pulls away from me, I feel my hope and faith fade away.

He sighed, brushing his platinum blond hair out of his eyes. I have never wanted something as much as I want this before. I don't think I can truly live without him. Not that I'd kill myself or anything of the kind … I'd still be breathing. But I wouldn't be living. And yet, I'm dying a little more inside every time he distances himself.

He promised me before that we'd talk things through, and we'd have a two-sided relationship.

But things are easier said than done.

Draco gasped in surprise when he felt warm arms close around his cold body from behind. "Gnh!" was all he managed to say before Harry's lips were pressed against the top of his head sweetly.

"I missed you," the brunette said into his shoulder.

Draco rolled his eyes. "I was only gone for five minutes," he said, as he spelled the note to appear at Malfoy Mansion.

"Too long," Harry said forcefully, gently nibbling on Draco's ear.

"If you say so, Harry," Draco replied a little breathlessly.

"I do." Harry cuddled him and then began to speak a little quieter. "Draco, I can't believe I did said such a heartless thing at the club. It was a horrible thing to say and I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry –"

As Harry continued to ramble on, Draco realised something. He'd made the right decision.

hdhdhd

"I assume you brought me here to tell me something," Draco said wryly as Harry brushed off one of the many waiters and waitresses vying for his attention at Draco's favourite upper-class restaurant.

The other man blushed. "Well, yes, I did, I mean, more to ask you than anything."

Draco's heart was racing. Was Harry going to ask him something he'd always wanted Harry to ask him? Could he? He leant forward across the table unconsciously, breathless in anticipation.

Harry cleared his throat. "Draco, we've been together informally for six months, and properly for three months now. You helped me through defeating Voldemort, and healed me both mentally and physically after the Last Confrontation.

"During the past few months especially, I haven't been able not to think just how empty my life would be without you. I treasure every single moment I have the fortune to share with you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you'll let me. I'd be nothing without you, Draco. Nothing at all.

"And so, I was wondering if you would do me the honour of …" Harry blushed, and Draco's mouth became dry, his eyes began to water, and he felt like he was choking. "getting a puppy with me."

Draco felt his heart rapidly fall to the bottom of his very expensive shiny black shoes. His lip quivered. DAMN it, Malfoy, you will not cry. Not now, and not ever again.

Harry saw his expression, and bit his lip in mirth. "Draco," he said, reaching across the table to take one of Draco's hands. "Baby, I was only joking. Will you marry me?"

All of a sudden, Draco was a mess, tears streaming down his face, smearing the little eyeliner he'd applied all over his face. "Potter, how do you always manage to make me an emotional wreck?" he asked huskily, blond hair falling into his eyes as he looked up at Harry.

"I'm sorry," the brunette said, looking slightly uncomfortable, and obviously not knowing what Draco was thinking or what to do.

"Come over here, you stupid, sappy Gryffindor," Draco said, laughing tearfully. "Of course I will."

Harry knocked over his chair in haste to get to the blond, crushing him in a bear hug and kissing any surface of skin he could reach.

"I love you," he whispered into Draco's ear, and Draco laughed joyfully at him, replying the sentiment before they both apparated home and told each other non verbally many times.

hdhdhd

Dear Ron and Hermione,

It is wonderful to hear that you two are finally together. It only took you about nine years!

Harry and I are currently enjoying the summer sun. He says "hello", and "about time, you two"! I'm writing the letter because he's simply too lazy to. Or perhaps he's a little exhausted. Yes, Weasley, he's exhausted from a special sort of exercise we engage in "daily and nightly and ever so rightly" (Harry again, the Gryffindork).

Thankyou for helping us out. I'm so happy, and I love him so much. Thankyou.

We haven't really been doing much other than lazing around, and enjoying the sun and scenery, although I think I'm going make him come and see an opera or two with me. Who knows, maybe he'll like it? Perhaps not, but it's worth seeing the disgusted look on his face when I mention it, and it will be terribly amusing when he falls asleep in the middle of it, and then tries to assure me afterwards that he was 'only resting his eyes'

Once again, congratulations, and we'll see you when we all go to the Manor for Christmas!

Love,

Draco and Harry.

hdhdhd

Dear Blaise and Pansy,

I have a devious plan that involves you us Slytherins ganging up on three Gryffindorks on Christmas Day at the Manor for a snowball fight. Do you reckon you've still got the skills?

In other news, Harry and I are having a wonderful holiday (he says hi), and we should both have fairly extensive tans by the time we get back home.

I hope that all is well, and you two are in good health. I miss you both, and am grateful for all the scheming you so obviously engaged in to help Harry and I work things out.

It was like before there was Draco and Harry, and Harry and Draco. But only Draco-and-Harry and no Harry-and-Draco, if that makes any sense.

But now everything is working out, and I can't thankyou enough. I've never been happier.

Take care of yourselves.

Love,

Draco

Harry/DracoForever

The Beginning