Chapter 4: Aleinn um jolin

Three days passed in silence. They had gotten into a routine. Robbie would always work on the machine to fix them, while Sportacus did exercises very close by. Small things, leg lifts and crunches and pushups. Robbie slowly discovered he actually could concentrate better with the music, and left it on. And then every once in awhile there'd be a break, and they'd venture up to the surface. There were a few close calls with saving people, but he managed. And while they were on the surface, Sportacus would hang from tree branches and frolic while Robbie somehow always managed to attract the kitten, and he'd hold and pet it for awhile.

But three days had passed, and Sportacus hardly said a word. He was getting more and more worried. Watching Robbie play with the kitten, and observing the man as he went about his daily life… it was dangerous. He was starting to see Robbie as someone other than the villain. It was dangerous. Bathing and sleeping in the same bed as him was having dire consequences on his ability to detach himself.

The night before, he had woken up to find that he had snuggled up to Robbie in his sleep, and found himself thinking, upon waking, that Robbie looked very peaceful when dreaming.

But, on the eve of the third day, it finally happened. Robbie brandished the device with glee, doing a little dance of joy that Sportacus found highly amusing, and explaining how it worked.

Robbie seemed to be explaining it without purpose, as he knew Sportacus couldn't understand any of it, so Robbie must have been talking mainly to himself. Sportacus frowned. How lonely could Robbie get? That he had no one to bring his accomplishments to (and they were great accomplishments, if primarily misguided) and had to instead receive praise from himself as a substitute, struck Sportacus as achingly sad.

"Now," Robbie crowed, brandishing the little remote control like device. "Stand still, Sportakook."

Sportacus abruptly snatched it from him.

"HEY!" Robbie yelled, trying to grab it back.

"Robbie, listen for a second."

Robbie calmed down, looking skeptically at him.

Sportacus felt like the dirtiest jerk on the planet.

"You're going to turn me back to normal first, then I'm going to turn you back."

Robbie's eyes widened, and he could see the brief flash of betrayal and hurt in the man's gray eyes, before it got buried. He let Robbie snatch the device back, and he stood still as Robbie adjusted the dial, and fired it at him.

He gasped and staggered backwards slightly. It felt like a tight cord between the two of them had just been cut in half. He brought a hand up to his chest without thinking about it. Robbie pressed the remote into his other hand.

"Your turn," he said dully. Sportacus looked up and saw the man's blank stare. He felt horrible. Not the same kind of horrible he had endured the past week, when Robbie had tried to run, but it was comparable.

He knew it was a dirty trick. And he knew Robbie knew it, deep down underneath this invention's interference. That made it worse.

He felt tainted.

He carefully aimed the device at Robbie, and pressed the button. A flash of light later, they were both standing awkwardly in the middle of Robbie's house. Moments stretched out.

"Out," Robbie whispered. Sportacus startled, looking up at the man.

"What?"

"Out," Robbie repeated. He had his head tilted down, and Sportacus couldn't see his eyes. Sportacus waited a few more moments, before he slowly turned around and left.

He told himself, repeatedly, determinedly, that the ache left in place of tension as he got further away was guilt.

It wasn't anything else. He knew that.

Summer came and went. Robbie still came out from his lair to cause trouble. But it was half-hearted. And every time Sportacus saved the day, there was a look between them that tugged on Sportacus. But it was brief, and not at all like the tension between them inflicted by the botched invention.

So, Sportacus always looked away first, smiling warmly at the kids and dancing and singing with them.

He tried to not notice Robbie getting further and further away.

It was Christmas time though. And a slightly older Stephanie was coming back. Sportacus swung his legs over the side of the air ship and smiled. He liked Stephanie. She helped him out a lot, and encouraged the kids to play and be happy.

Stephanie was the reason he didn't leave.

He shook the thought from his head. It was Christmas. He loved Christmas, because everybody came together and huddled together for warmth after playing out in the snow.

He hummed a song to himself happily, watching from above as Stephanie dragged her luggage back into her Uncle's house.

He stood up, going back into the air ship. The party would be in a couple hours, after all, and he wanted to take a shower and get ready in plenty of time.

Sportacus laughed at the kids' antics inside the house, gently separating Stingy and Trixie before one of them got into a serious fight.

"Oh no!" Stephanie gasped suddenly, remembering something. "I left my hat outside!" Sportacus smiled at her and jumped up, eager for a walk. He loved the people in this town, but sitting down was difficult, and he'd welcome the chance to stretch.

"I'll get it for you Stephanie!" he said, and he went through his poses and dashed out the door.

He looked around for the pink hat. Nowhere near. He walked further from the house, checking under things.

He stopped when he heard a cough, and teeth chattering.

He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, creeping silently over to a low wall and peeking around it.

His stomach plummeted into his feet when his fears were confirmed. Robbie Rotten was crouching behind the wall, peeking over it and into the window of the house. Sportacus was about to give away his presence by asking the man what he was up to, but Robbie started talking to himself before he got the chance.

"Look at them," he sneered. "All cozy and…" he shivered. "Warm. How horrible. And they still didn't invite me. Typical. Rude. I still wouldn't have gone anyway." He paused, and seemed to think. "Well, maybe for some cookies. But I wouldn't stay. Why should I? They don't care." Robbie's nose wrinkled in disgust. "Besides, it'd be a waste of my time. I have very valuable things to do. I can't spend all night with those disgustingly happy morons. And I have no desire to. None at all! Not for company, not for their stupid friendship, not even for him. I don't need any of them." Robbie narrowed his eyes at the happy music coming from the house, shivered, and rubbed his hands together. He stood up, and Sportacus ducked behind the wall again to avoid being seen as Robbie stalked over to a bench and threw himself down on it in a huff.

"Besides," Robbie continued talking to himself. "The only people who would want to go to parties are just lonely. And I'm not lonely. I'm not."

Sportacus felt something tugging again. He kept silent and still though, watching Robbie.

After a moment of silence, Robbie laughed shortly. And Sportacus nearly gasped in shock when he started singing.

It started as a hum, something quiet over the wind. But soon Robbie was whispering an obviously well-memorized song.

Sportacus watched, transfixed, as Robbie went through his lonely song, and he watched as Robbie's expressions kept changing throughout it. It started scolding, scathing, mocking. It insisted that he wasn't lonely. He didn't need all of that warmth and happiness. It even laughed at the prospect.

It took a mournful turn, and Sportacus felt like his heart might tear itself in two. Robbie's face was soft, and open. As the last notes of the song died, Robbie stared at the window again, and Sportacus saw far too clearly, how his eyes had been so wide and full of want and fear. He saw too clearly how it only lasted for an instant, and how Robbie consciously shoved it all back, standing up and whirling around, stomping back to his lair.

For a long time, Sportacus stayed there, huddled against the wall. The wind was starting to bite, but he ignored it.

How long had Robbie been out here in the cold?

He spotted the pink cap laying half-buried in the snow, and he automatically picked it up and walked back into the house.

Stephanie was so thankful to have not lost it after all, she failed to notice that the smile was fake, and that the sports elf did not have his usual energy. Thoughts were still cycling through his head, and the song still echoed in his ears.

How long had Robbie been out there in the cold?

He paused in mid-reach for a cup of cider.

Just how many Christmases had Robbie Rotten been out in the cold, scoffing at the warmth while longing for it?

He apologized, and ran out the door again.

Hero work, he said.

But he knew he wasn't really a hero. He was just doing this out of guilt. He should have noticed earlier, and fixed it. But he didn't, and Robbie was suffering, even if he wouldn't admit it.

But it still came down to selfish reasons.

He was halfway to the billboard when he remembered how Robbie's smile looked like when he thought no one was watching, and the kitten had been batting at an insect. Another memory of Robbie smiling like that, holding up his finished invention, the one that would ruin them, and showing it off to the only person there.

So when Sportacus wasn't there, who did Robbie show them to?

He paused, opening the secret door on the billboard.

When he wasn't there, did Robbie smile for himself?

He felt sick. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to promise Robbie that he wouldn't be alone. But he couldn't do that, because even if Robbie was lonely and sad, he was still the villain, and Sportacus was still the hero.

There was no Hero Handbook of Guidelines, Sportacus thought on more than one occasion, but even if there was, that rule didn't need to be put in.

Everyone knew that a hero who falls for a villain isn't a hero anymore.

He opened the lid to Robbie's house and jumped in. He had been through it enough times to get used to the sudden darkness.

AN:

The next chapter starts some interesting personal logic about love. Ah, I shouldn't have said Robbie is dark, per say... but it's the only term that fits. This fic is about being broken. It is of course going to have a taste of darkness, and liberal smatterings of angst. Sportacus is desperately trying to be a hero, and Robbie is... well, really, Robbie is the chaotic element. I do love chaos.

Regardless, you'll see that in the next chapter, and the one after perhaps. I'll explain it all then.

This chapter was written when I found Robbie's "all alone at christmas" song. SADDEST SONG EVER. Especially for LazyTown. I need to thank Shinju (AGAIN) for putting that up. It was the most awesome thing ever.

Anyway, as I have no knowledge of Icelandic, I based the little Robbie singing bit up there on what the song sounded like it was saying. I mean, the song is about being alone and cold on christmas. I can take artistic license with it, even if the translated lyrics don't mean that. Kami-chan said it made her cry.

Sweetsportscandy, you guys are too nice to me! 11 reviews already? AH! I love you guys. Of course, it doesn't help that I update like crazy either. Hmm.