November 18th: Do You HAVE Any More Pairs Of My Socks?

It's cold. I hate the cold. Like, as if it isn't freezing enough in Scotland or wherever we are, it has to go and have winter.

Winter sucks.

I don't see why the stupid founders four couldn't have gone and built Hogwarts in Jamaica or something. Don't you think I could learn better if the school was in Jamaica? Then I wouldn't have to concentrate on finding extra pairs of woolly socks to keep my poor toes warm, and could be doing something useful instead. Like plotting ways to sabotage the Hufflepuffs before the Quidditch game tomorrow.

I know, I know. It's bad sportsmanship to sabotage the other team, as Wood keeps telling us. Then he leans forward and says, "use red and gold paint."

Hello? I could report him for that. I mean, then maybe I would get picked for captain of the Gryffindor House Quidditch team! But then I'd have responsibility. And I don't know if I could handle that. I'll settle for vice-captain.

It's lucky for Wood he let me back on the team. Otherwise we'd lose. They'd have to use some other person in my place, who doesn't know anything about Quidditch and will probably have an anxiety attack the first time Oliver tells them that the hopes of a nation are pinned solely on their shoulders.

He is such a wanker. I mean, it doesn't even make sense!

Besides, Lee knows my name. It's a good thing he does, too. Otherwise, when he was commentating, he'd be all, "And Johnson passes to Spinnet! Spinnet passes to… oh, that dude who replaced Bell!"

And that minor fact that it's always handy to know your girlfriend's name.

Anyway. I can't find my really comfy woollen socks, the ones that are so huge they take my shoe size up a few sizes. I think Fred borrowed them in Herbology last month… hmm.

I stomp up the boy's dormitory stairs, ignoring the little second year that goes, "hey! I know you! You're the girl that has the massive gap in her mouth!" I mean, he shut up and all when I showed him my fist. I have very scary fists.

"Yeeees?" George asks, when I bang on the door loudly. He only opens it enough to poke his head out.

"Tell Frederick I want my socks back!" I demand. I hold up a purplish-blue foot. "Look!"

"Oh, Frederick!" George calls to his partner in crime. "There's a little goblin at the door for you!"

"I hope it brought money," I hear Fred grumble. Like George, he only pokes his head out of the room. "Anything you desire, Katiekins?" he asks annoyingly when he sees me.

I glare at him. "I demand my socks back!"

"Huh." He looks genuinely stumped for a few seconds, so I remind him that he stole them during Herbology last month and that they were red and gold. "Oh. Yeah. Those socks," he says, the memory of the socks dawning on him.

"Do you have any more pairs of my socks?" I ask sarcastically.

"Actually-" his voice is muffled and I can't see him, which almost certainly means he's under his bed- "yeah. Here." He dumps a huge box full of assorted socks- black, blue, red, hot-pink-and-neon-green-ones-that-I-can't-remember-ever-even-owning- into my arms, then slams the door quickly.

I set down the box, amazed that one person could steal so many socks. And then I realise that my feet haven't been growing since I turned eleven- it's just Fred stole all my socks that fitted me, leaving me with the too small ones. Wow. It's so pathetic it almost makes me sniffle.

I bang on the door again.

"Yeeees?" George asks again, grinning. "Oh, hello, Katiekins."

"Hi," I reply suspiciously. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, you know, this and that," George answers vaguely, and I hear a loud thump from inside the dorm.

"What was that?" I ask curiously. I try to peer past the door, but George keeps it firmly shut.

"Oh, nothing," he says innocently. He looks back at whoever's on the other side, and hisses, "cut it out!"

"Right." I say sceptically, raising an eyebrow. "Can I come in?"

George looks thoughtful for a moment, then nods. "I'll just go and converse with my comrades," he replies seriously. The door is slammed in my face again, and I pull on my thick red-and-gold socks.

"Ah," I say, relief flooding through me as my toes begin to unfreeze and come back to life. I wonder if I could sue Fred. For, you know, attempted murder. After all, my toes nearly dropped off.

"Messieurs Jordan and Weasley agree that you may come in," George says solemnly, standing back slightly to allow me to pass.

Uh, hello? I am not that skinny, George, unlike your girlfriend. I actually need room to pass! "Move over," I grin evilly, shoving him out of the way.

When I get into the fifth year's boys' dorm, it isn't what I expected. I mean, sure, I've been in there tons of times (don't tell my mum or she'll brand me a 'scarlet woman' for life) but they'd really changed it.

I mean, what was with the huge drawing on the wall? I walk up closer, and realise it's a map. A map of the Hufflepuff common room, to be exact. I can see where all the dormitories are… hey! I can see Hannah Abbot's room. Well she might just get a surprise from under her pillow tonight…

I smirk mischievously as I picture all the wonderful things I can do to the Hufflepuffs. Blow up their bathroom, decorate their common room in red and gold (an oldie, but a goodie), put funny smelling orange paste in their beds…

"And what are you grinning about?" a mock-haughty voice asks me. Lee grins, then gives me a kiss, whilst smearing black paint all over my face.

"What are you doing?" I question, eyeing the bucket of paint in his hand distrustfully. I mean, it's not that I don't trust Lee with a bucket of paint… well, yeah, I don't.

"Oh." Lee dismisses the question with a dangerous wave of the bucket. "Sabotaging the Hufflepuffs."

Wow. That is so weird. "I was just imagining ways to do that," I tell him cheerfully. "Need any help?"

"Nah-"

"Need I remind you that I am on the opposing team and have several disliked acquaintances in that particular house, so therefore I am more likely to be liable to do more damage than you could ever hope to cause?" I interrupt him. Well. I thought I sounded smart.

"Okay, okay," Lee holds up his hands in an 'I surrender' motion.

"Can Ange and 'Lic come too?" I ask excitedly. I'm really beginning to get excited about this. We can dress in black and camouflage pants. I have a pair of them. I think I'll wear them. Yeah. And smear black goo all over my face, so that I'm invisible.

"No!" Fred bursts out hurriedly. When I give him a weird look, he says, "it's just that, you know, they might not like the idea…"

"Ange will freaking love it!" I exclaim. But on second thoughts, I remember that next year she wants to be captain, so maybe it's not such a good idea to start her campaign by causing the other team to lose. I mean, she might just not be accepted. "Oh yeah," I say, when Fred shoots me a triumphant look.

"So, General," I say to Fred, who appears to be in charge of this whole operation. I wonder what gave me that idea… maybe the fact that he had a huge hat on his head, stating 'GENERAL'. "What should I do in Operation-attack-the-Hufflepuffs-and-make-them-lose?"

Fred tilts his head thoughtfully. "I've got it!" he yells. "We'll call this Operation-attack-the-Hufflepuffs-and-make-them-lose!"

Uh, yeah, Fred. That's what I just said. "That's what I just said!" I cry indignantly.

He shrugs. "Too bad. Hmm… here's the plan," he says, gesturing for everyone to huddle forward. Me, George, Lee and Fred all huddle up, and Fred looks round at us excitedly. "Here's how we'll do it…"

I get up quietly. Well, I meant to get up quietly. Two broken bedsprings, one banged head, three stubbed toes and a broken nail later, I'm dressed in my camouflage clothes. Which, in my case, consist of a pair of army pants and a black jacket, along with my black beanie.

When I get downstairs, Fred and Lee are waiting for me. Apparently George had to run back up and bring down the black goo (which was my idea).

"I'm cold," I complain for the millionth time. I mean, did you know that the House elves let the fire die out? No, neither did I. If you ask me, they should sack them. For failing to do their fire-making duties right.

"I'm not," Lee replies mildly. I think he and Fred have sort of learnt to drown out my complaints. I mean, I don't MEAN to complain a lot. It just sort of comes out of my numb mouth. Well, that and the fact my brain is so mooshed I can't even process the reason I'm out of bed in the early hours of the morning. Well. It might still be today. Or yesterday. Or this morning. Whatever.

"Well I am," I say huffily. "And if George doesn't get back with the frickin' black stuff soon, I'll-"

"Do what, Bell?" George says from behind me, as he holds up the black can of sludge. "Got it."

"Alright," Fred gives George a high five. I mean, what's the point of sneaking out Fred, if you're just going to go and slap your palm against your brother's in the middle of the freaking common room?

"Put some on me first," George commands, shoving the can at Fred.

"No, I'm the General," Fred argues. "I should get the black stuff first."

"I went and got it!"

"I organised it!"

I think all we ever do is argue. Maybe we should all just go and get a life. Yeah. I mean, seriously. We argue like two-year-olds… You know what? I've never actually come across a two-year-old who's argued with another two-year-old counterpart. Maybe it's just fifteen-and-a-half-year-olds. Well, technically I'm the only fifteen-and-a-half-year-old. Ange is almost sixteen, and so is Lee. And Gred and Forge are older than me, too. I forgot about Alicia's birthday, though. Wow. Next time I see her, I'll ask her when her birthday is.

"What's going on?" a voice through the darkness silences us, and for a moment I think that it's McGonagall. Well, that WOULD be terrible.

"Alicia?" George asks incredulously.

"Damn right," another voice says, crossly.

"Angelina?"

"Well," Fred begins, looking a little sheepish, "It was all Katie's idea!" he points to me.

I don't bother saying anything, just point lazily at Fred's 'GENERAL' hat. He didn't want to take it off.

"Fred. Explain," Ange tells him tersely, tapping her foot.

"Well," he says again, "we just thought it'd be fun to play a harmless little prank on the Hufflepuffs," he says meekly. Wow. I never thought I'd see the day that Fred Weasley would be meek in front of a girl- but I figure if I thought any girl could do it, it'd be Angelina Johnson.

"Harmless?" Angelina asks sceptically.

At the same time, Alicia yells, "those poor defenceless Hufflepuffs! It's not their fault they're talent-less, you know," she adds seriously, staring at me.

"Sure it is," I reply cheerfully. "If they had just decided to play sword-fighting instead of dress-ups when they were little, they probably could have got in to Gryffindor." And I was not just referring to Hannah Abbot. Personally, I think Cedric might still come out of the closet. But that's a secret.

"Dress-ups?" Fred repeats. "Bell… what the hell?"

"Look at that! You're a poet and you didn't even know it," I chant, ignoring him.

"Okay." Angelina takes charge of the situation, which is quickly falling apart. "What's with the black goo?"

"We're going to use it to smear all over our faces," I tell her.

"It helps unclog our pores," Lee says seriously, then grins and gives me a high five while I let out a bark of laughter. Classic.

"Okay. Katie, smear some all over George." She commands, pointing at him. Thanks for the reference, Ange. I've only known him for five years, (well, I think our brothers used to be in the same year, so maybe I met him before I went to Hogwarts) but I must've temporarily forgotten what he looks like.

I oblige, but I have to jump up and down a bit to succeed. I mean, him and Fred aren't as tall as Lee (about five feet ten) but shit, that's about eight inches taller than me. So I get a bit in his ear and eyes, but it's okay, seeing as how I get most of his face and all.

"Now Alicia."

Alicia is easier, because she's not as tall as they are. She's only about five feet six, so I don't have to strain my arm as much. I think I have one arm longer than the other, now. It'll impair me for the rest of my life! If I choose to be an Auror, and a Death Eater ties me up, I won't be able to get free because, hey, one arm is shorter than the other. Or if I want to be a Healer, the patients won't want someone with uneven arms bringing them back to life.

"Now Lee."

I look up at Lee, sigh, and stand onto the couch. Lee doesn't even help, because I have to yell at him to stand next to the couch, and he shakes with laughter the whole time I'm doing it, so I make pretty patterns on his face.

"Now Fred."

Even though he's the same height as George (I think he's like a millimetre shorter) I don't bother getting off the couch, but Fred doesn't come near enough and I fall off and end up with the paintbrush all through my hair. I wish I'd had the sense to tie it up under my beanie. Damn. I wonder if it'll wash out? I hope so. I mean, people will think I've turned all weird, because I'll have blonde hair and then these mangled black lines all over my head. But I manage to cover his face in the black goo, too.

"I'll do Bell," Lee offers gallantly, taking the paintbrush off me and smirking. As far as I can tell he doesn't do anything strange. At least, I hope he doesn't. If he does, I'll push him in the lake and he can go live with all the crazy merpeople, who swim around with pitchforks.

"What about you?" I ask Ange, when I've got the bucket back.

"I don't need it," she says, giving her hair a flick. "I'm dark enough without resorting to put black goo all over my face."

"Lee's dark," I point out. "You made him put on some."

Angelina glares at me, then says, "yeah, but I'm darker. Hurry up." She marches out of the common room, and the rest of us have to run to keep up. Well, at least I do. Because one of all their strides is two of mine.

"So, uh, where are we going, anyway?" Anyone else would have looked like an idiot, but not Ange.

"Hufflepuff common room," I tell her.

"Right." She sets off purposely, then comes back when she realises we aren't following her. "Where are they?"

Could you GET any thicker? Sheesh. "Second floor near those funny knight statues," I say. "You know, the ones that are hugging each other and they look like they're-"

"She knows which ones you mean, Katie," Alicia interrupts me.

I smirk at her. "Okay, I was just telling her how they're-"

"Bell!" she yells. "We know, okay?"

"Sure," I shrug. We march single file down the stairs, one behind the other. Angelina leads, then Fred (because he's too scared to take over), then George, Alicia, Lee and I bring up in the rear. Technically, I should be at the front. You know, so that all the others can see over my head if there's anyone coming. Besides, the little people are supposed to be the ones protected. How can they protect me if I'm last and some person jumps on me and carries me away, never to be seen again?

Yeah. Think about that next time you want to make me last in line, Ange.

"Drop!" I hear Angelina hiss suddenly, and we all drop to the ground. Well, I trip and fall against Lee, causing him to say a naughty word. But it's all good, because Professor Lupin passes by without even looking at us.

Professor Lupin's our Defence teacher. He's cool. Like, Fred asked him one time if we could bring in a subject, when we were learning about Dark curses. Lupin agreed, and the next time we had Defence Fred brought in Harry. I mean, Lupin made him leave and all practically as soon as Fred brought him in, but he was wicked nice about it. He just said, "I'm sure you can find someone more suitable to experiment on, rather than Mr Potter."

"That was close," I hear Alicia whisper with relief.

"Nah, he saw us," George replies nonchalantly.

"Did not," I argue. "He would have told us off."

Lee groans. "Shut up, both of you," he says to us. "Let's keep going."

"No!" Angelina shrieks. "I'm the leader, and I'll say when it's safe." She pauses a moment, then says, "it's safe."

I look at Lee and roll my eyes.

We're going down the stairs to the second floor when I suddenly trip over something- I think it's a rat- and fall head over heels into Lee- literally.

"What the hell?"

"Watch we're you're going, Bell!"

"Katie? Are you okay?"

"Get off the stairway!"

"Why are you in front of me? Get back into line!"

When I finally get to the bottom, I look at up at the others and go, "ouch." I mean, I didn't even have anything original to say. Then again, I suppose when you've hit your head against stone a few hundred times you tend to be a bit brain-damaged. Like I wasn't enough already.

"Er, you okay?" Fred asks, nudging me with his foot. "You aren't dead, are you?"

"I'm breathing, Fred, but nah, I think I died," I reply sarcastically. Well, it wasn't as if I hadn't just fell down a bazillion stairs or anything. Sheesh.

"Okay," Fred says. "This ought to wake you up!" and with that he draws out his wand and pours water all over me.

"Augh!" I splutter at him. "Now I'm going to get sick and die and it's all your fault!" I turn to Ange. "Tell your boyfriend he's an arse!"

"Fred," Ange says calmly to him, "Katie says you're an arse."

I roll my eyes. Like he didn't just hear me! "Let's just keep going."

So we march off again, towards the common room. I'm not talking to anyone. Because they're all losers for dragging me along against my will in the first place!

"What's that funny squelching noise?" Alicia wants to know.

"That'd be me," I answer wearily. I'm tired and cold and I want back in my bed NOW!

She laughs at me in a very mean, non-supposedly-best-friend way. What a meanie-head.

"We're here," Fred announces.

Angelina glares at him, then says, "we're here!"

What a loser.

"Fred and Lee can go in the boys' dorm," Ange says, "Alicia and George can stay in the common room. Bell, you're with me."

"Oh, goodie," I mutter. "Lucky me."

Ange beams. "Yeah, I know. Now someone get into the common room!"

"Uh, I haven't thought this far ahead," Lee admits.

"I think it's something like bumblebee," George ventures.

Haha. The Hufflepuffs' password is bumblebee! How would you feel. Like a talent-less freak, probably.

"No," Alicia says. "Rainbow?"

Nothing we say makes the portrait of the funny little midget people open. Really, the painting looks a bit like the Gryffindor second years. Well, minus the whole red-and-gold bit.

"Yellow and black!" I yell triumphantly, and the portrait opens. I mean, how thick ARE they? Could you GET any stupider? I guess there's a reason the sorting hat says that 'all the rest belong in Hufflepuff'.

"What sort of people are these people?" Alicia wonders softly.

I resist the urge to point out the obvious.

"Positions, people!" Angelina says, when we get into the hideous common room. I mean, it's mostly yellow with a touch of black. And I thought red and gold was bad. Imagine living in a black and yellow room. It's a wonder their mascot isn't a bumblebee.

"Which way is the girl's dorm?" I ask Ange, since she seems to know it all.

She shrugs. "I thought you knew."

We just do rock, paper, scissors with Fred and Lee and decide to take the right side.

Big mistake.

"Third year… fourth year… fifth year…" I count as we pass them. "Why don't we just do the actual team members, rather than the whole fifth year?" I wonder aloud.

"Because," Ange explains tersely, "we don't know the Hufflepuff Quidditch team."

"Oh," I reply, so I don't sound like an idiot. I still think we should just go and pick on the team members. I mean, what's the point of only doing on our year?

"In here," Ange hisses. I follow her into the fifth year's dormitory, and guess what?

They aren't girls.

"Oh, eww!" she exclaims, at the sight of dirty clothes, spare bits of parchment and all other UFO's (Unidentified Foreign Objects) scattered on the ground.

"At least they don't have to go through the trouble of looking through their trunk for their stuff," I reply cheerfully. Hey, it sounded convenient. Actually, that would probably be what our dorm'd look like, if we didn't have Alicia. Stupid prude.

"Still," Ange says, wrinkling her nose in distaste, "this is feral."

"I like it," I decide. "It reminds me of my cousin's pig sties."

"Your cousin has pig sties?" Angelina asks, her eyebrows raised.

I shrug. "Sure," I reply. "They love bacon."

My remark is lost on Ange, who just goes, "uh huh," and keeps walking around the room.

"I found Cedric's bed!" I announce, looking down at him. And oh-my-god he has his thumb in his mouth. I always knew he secretly batted for the other team…

"Well? Attack him," Angelina tells me expectantly.

"Can do," I inform her, as I set down my 'weapons of mass destruction'.

"One can of magical-menagerie spray paint?"

"Check."

"Goggles?"

"Check."

"Stencils?"

"Check."

"One can of whipped cream?"

"Che- what?" I ask confusedly.

She shrugs nonchalantly. "I just thought I'd throw a really random question in," she replies. "Begin Operation-attack-the-Hufflepuffs-and-make-them-lose," she grins evilly.

"Mwahahahaha!" I laugh, trying to do an imitation of that evil dude off that show… yeah.

We get through Cedric and the others, but just as we're about to leave, he wakes up and looks sleepily around.

"Lay yourself flat against the wall," Angelina commands quietly.

"Can do," I reply, saluting her.

At least we're wearing clothes that blend in with their yellow walls. Well, apart from my army pants. And my jacket. If only they'd had a mural of a plain in Africa or something at the bottom of their wall. That'd be cool.

Suddenly, Cedric sits up straight in bed and stares directly at Angelina. "Mum?" he asks.

I burst out laughing; I mean, come on. How could anyone not laugh at that?

"Katie? Angelina? What are you doing here?" Cedric asks.

I groan. "Ange, this is all your fault. You really should have let me put the black goo on your face."