I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion or the rights to anything associated with it. Gainax created this world, I just play in it.
I do however own any and all original characters that appear within this story.
Long Way Home
Chapter Three:
Three nights later, Dr. Kenji Yoshida found himself in an upscale, downtown bar waiting for Professor Inaba. He was starting his second bottle of beer when his friend showed up.
"I was beginning to think I wasn't going to hear from you," Yoshida said.
Inaba ordered a double whisky as he sat down. "The information you requested was hard to get," he explained in his deep, gravely voice. "Even my best sources within the government have gone silent since the news on Nakamura broke. Anything to do with NERV, and most especially SEELE, is a touchy subject in official circles these days and no one wants to chance getting caught talking about it."
"I have a patient that's on the verge of falling off the deep end and they're worried about the spectre of a dead organization," Yoshida muttered bitterly, unable to hide the growing disappointment and helplessness he was feeling. "Were you able to find out anything?"
"In politics, even the dead come back to life. Fortunately I have my own little network to rely on who are always willing to share what they know," Inaba assured him. "It took a lot of phone calls and e-mails to old colleagues, friends and former students, and a lot of digging through notes and news archives, but I got what you were looking for, if only just."
"Thank you," Yoshida said with a sigh of relief. "My patient is slipping farther every hour and this information could make the difference in her recovery."
"Glad I could be of service," Inaba said. "Your patient held a high ranking position at NERV, she was the Head of Operations. Major Misato Katsuragi was the battle commander for the Evangelions, and one of the pilots she had to send into battle was a boy by the name of Shinji Ikari. She was also his guardian."
"Is he still alive?"
"Probably. He survived the battle and from what I can gather his rudimentary attempts at first aid may have saved your patient's life."
"If he's alive, I wonder why he hasn't come to see her in the last five years," Yoshida pondered.
"He probably thinks that she's dead," Inaba responded. "We found a list of the dead from the attack on NERV that was released a little over a week after the attack and her name was on it. As regrettable as it is, we both know that in the aftermath of disastrous events mistakes are made in the hustle and confusion. In this case someone else was misidentified as Katsuragi and her name was put on the list. With so many casualties flooding into Tokyo 2 after the battle she got lost in the shuffle and she slipped through the cracks. No one ever discovered her true identity until Nakamura came along."
"Your information does clear up a few of the questions I had," Yoshida said. "But I still need to find him somehow."
"I know someone who may be able to help you with that," Inaba told him as he ordered another whisky. "It seems that I drew the attention of some people who saw fit to detain me earlier this evening. That's why I was late getting here."
"Government officials?" Yoshida asked.
Inaba shook his head. "NERV," he answered. "People from the very top of the ladder and they quite badly wanted to know why I had been snooping after young Mr. Ikari."
"And you told them?" Yoshida felt his stomach tighten.
"I had little choice," Inaba said. "And they made it clear that you don't have a choice either. They mean us no harm so long as we mean no harm by our inquiries, but they do want answers. They are waiting for you at the table in the back corner, an older gentleman and two young women. I think they wish to help your cause Yoshida."
"Then for the sake of my patient I will take that chance." He finished his beer and went to the table Inaba had indicated.
"Have a seat Doctor Yoshida," the man told him when he walked up to their table. He was a rather distinguished looking gentleman with grey hair and a seemingly kind, yet cautious demeanour. To his right was a tall blonde woman whose cool and appraising stare made him feel as if he were being dissected on the spot. To the man's left was a shorter, brown haired woman who's face wore a look of concern.
"You have me at a disadvantage," Yoshida began as he sat down. "Might I know your names before the inquisition begins?"
"Kouzou Fuyutsuki, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, and Maya Ibuki," the man said, gesturing to his companions in turn. "And I can assure you that this is not an inquisition."
"Your inquiries concern two people who are very important to us," Akagi said, her voice holding as much suspicion as her eyes.
"We simply want to know why you were asking about them," Ibuki added.
"If you have already spoken to Professor Inaba, then you know why," Yoshida countered.
"We would like to hear it from the source," Fuyutsuki told him. "It's important to us."
Yoshida regarded them for a moment. "Very well. You are aware of the news reports regarding Dr. Hiroshi Nakamura?"
"Yes," Fuyutsuki said tightly. "And I'm not happy that the government let him remain free long enough to do something like this. They knew very well who he was. He was the doctor who did the psychological profiles on members of the government for SEELE to see who would be most easily manipulated and most likely to be swayed to their side."
"And he used that to blackmail the government into allowing him his freedom," Yoshida speculated.
"Precisely," Fuyutsuki confirmed. "We gave your friend Inaba that information, he can do whatever he wants to with it." He shook his head in disgust. "If it hadn't been for one of his lackeys ratting him out, he may have remained untouched. They are so scared of the taint of the previous administration and the knowledge he holds over them that they prefer to turn a blind eye."
"I have experienced that first hand in my efforts thus far," Yoshida explained. "Apparently Nakamura was at the hospital when Major Katsuragi came out of her coma. I suspect that he knew who she was all along and was waiting for her to wake up. He made sure that her official status as being deceased was not changed and he used a false name on all of her official records. That's how he hid her within the system."
"What did that bastard do to her?" Ritsuko asked with barely restrained rage. "I want to know all of it."
Yoshida drew a deep breath and let it out slowly before beginning the story. He indeed told them everything. What he knew had happened for sure, what he had been told, what he could confirm and what he suspected. He told them what drugs Misato had been given and how they had affected her. He told them everything he could about her treatment program since he had taken over her case. He had to stop at one point while Maya took Ritsuko outside to calm her down. It took him nearly an hour to fill them in.
"Will she recover?" Fuyutsuki asked him when he had finished.
"Physically, yes," Yoshida assured them. "Mentally, not without Shinji. He is the only thing she has been hanging onto and she has nearly lost all hope of ever seeing him again. She is becoming convinced that he is either dead or that he has abandoned her."
Ritsuko stared him down, considering his words before finally speaking. "He's alive and well and if he had known she was alive he would have never left her side. He's out of the country, but we can contact him and he will come back to Japan. He would do anything for Misato."
Yoshida breathed a great sigh of relief. "Thank you. It's no exaggeration when I tell you that he may be the key to not only saving her sanity, but her life as well."
Toronto:
Shinji sat on the concrete floor of his balcony with his back to the rough brick wall, the sunrise over the city long past and forgotten. The long distance voice of Ritsuko Akagi kept ringing through his head. After an exchange of pleasantries where he could hear the strain in her voice, he asked her what was wrong and she dropped the bomb.
"Shinji…It's about Misato. She's alive."
His current position was where he had landed when he heard those words over two hours ago. He was sure his heart had skipped a beat when she told him the news and his legs had given out, causing him to stumble back and land against the base of the wall, his phone nearly taking the ten storey plunge to the pavement below. After assuring a frantic Ritsuko that he was alright, he asked her to repeat herself and explain. When she relayed to him what Dr. Yoshida had told her, he became angry. He was so angry that he was sure that Unit 01 at it's berserk best would have nothing on him right then. It was a good thing that Nakamura was already dead, because if he wasn't, Shinji would have killed him with his bare hands.
"She's alive," he whispered as he reigned his anger in. "My beautiful Misa-chan is alive."
He knew she was damaged, but she was alive and right at that moment, that was what counted. How in the hell someone had put her name on the list of the dead he didn't know, but he damn sure wanted to find out. The one thing that kept him from not believing that she was alive was his knowledge that Ritsuko, despite everything she had done in the past, would not lie to him. She had changed a lot in five years and she wasn't quite as cold as she used to be. She was carrying a lot of guilt about the things she had done and he knew that she didn't believe she could ever atone for it. But he had gotten to know her well enough to be certain that she would always tell him the truth.
The news was such a shock to him that he found himself unable to move for a very long time. He had never, not even in his dreams, imagined that something like this could happen. His mind began replaying the Misato-centric moments of his life, beginning with the day she picked him up when he arrived in Tokyo 3. As with all things there were good and bad moments in their relationship, but he no longer let any of the bad or painful things he had experienced rule his life.
Strangely enough, one of the things he had come to genuinely miss from his relationship with Misato was the teasing. At the time he had been horribly embarrassed by it, but he couldn't say that he ever truly disliked it. Affection came in many different forms and teasing was one of the ways Misato displayed hers. She enjoyed nothing more than to make him fidget and stammer and blush like a tomato. It had been worth it all just to hear her laugh and see her smile, something she didn't do very much of near the end.
It had taken him a long time to come to terms with her reported death and there was a part of him that never really had. Since the day he saw the list he had felt like a piece of his heart was dead and that something precious had been taken from him. But now he felt a renewed warmth in his heart that he knew would only get stronger when he was finally able to see her again with his own two eyes.
He recalled the kiss again as he fondled her cross, and he remembered what she said to him when he asked for her forgiveness in the elevator. She told him that if he wanted her forgiveness he had to keep on living. He had tried his best to do so and even by his own estimation he felt that he had done okay for himself. He hoped she would be proud of him.
But now the shoe was on the other foot. Misato was the one falling down the well of despair and it was going to be up to him to pull her out. No, not to pull her out, to make her want to pull herself out. He had learned that one the hard way and he had learned it from her. Her words, her kiss, and the feeling that someone truly cared about him had turned him around. It was what made him pull her into that elevator and then go out and fight. Without it he would have continued to suffer as he had after killing Kaworu and he would have had Misato's death added to his already burdened conscience.
He finally got up and went into the apartment and turned on his computer. He needed to make airline reservations for the next available flight to Vancouver and a connection on to Japan. It was going to be a long trip and he really didn't know what he should expect when he got there. He knew from what Ritsuko had told him that he couldn't expect to see the same vibrant and lively Misato he was used to and that saddened him.
"Hang on just a little longer Misato," he spoke to the portrait in front of his computer. "I'm coming for you."
Tokyo 2, Twenty Four Hours Later:
Quite frankly, Shinji felt like crap. Nineteen hours spent flying and waiting in airports, along with the time difference, had taken it's toll on him and the two hours of sleep he had managed to catch on Ritsuko and Maya's couch hadn't helped him much. He was slouched in a chair in Dr. Yoshida's office, trying to stay awake while waiting for the doctor to return from his rounds.
As well as being tired, he was anxious. He wanted to see Misato, to touch her and make sure that this wasn't all some cruel nightmare conjured up by the feeling of loss that had remained with him over the last five years despite all the therapy he had taken. He wanted to hold her and tell her he was sorry for not being there sooner. She needed him and now that he was within reach, he was stuck here waiting.
"What's taking him so damn long," a pissed Ritsuko Akagi said from the chair next to him as she plucked a couple of stray cat hairs from the green blouse and black skirt she wore.
"As patient as ever, huh Doc?" he cracked. He was glad Ritsuko had come with him, he didn't think he could face this by himself. And Ritsuko needed to be here, as much for her own sake as Misato's. Guilt over the breakdown of their friendship was another of the things that weighed heavily on her mind.
"What do you expect?" she shot back. "I'm a results oriented workaholic. And don't call me 'Doc', Third Child."
"I apologize, my beautiful, blonde goddess," he said, unable to keep a straight face.
"Sure, call me that and laugh," she chided him, letting a smile come to her. "That does soooo much for my ego."
"Got you to smile didn't I?" he asked as he yawned and straightened up from his reclined posture. "You should do it more often."
She turned to him, still smiling. "If I didn't know better I'd think you were flirting with me Shinji. And you should do things like that more often."
"If it keeps you smiling, I'll keep doing it," he said. "I have this thing about seeing pretty women smile, it's like an addiction."
"At least it's a good one," she conceded, smiling at his compliment.
They were quiet for a moment before Shinji spoke again, his tone more serious. "Can I ask you something Ritsuko?"
"Sure," she answered. "You can ask me anything."
"You know more than a little bit about psychology, do you think Misato will be alright?"
She sighed. "I wish I could say yes, but I just don't know Shinji. Dr. Yoshida is one of the best psychiatrists in the country and you're here now, which by her own admission is what Misato needs and wants."
He looked at her intently, his eyes pleading for reassurance. "But you heard what Dr. Yoshida told us when we arrived. She's almost completely unresponsive now. What if I'm too late and she doesn't come out of it?"
She placed her hand on his arm reassuringly. "Don't start panicking Shinji," she said, stopping his impending downward slide. "You're stronger than that and you're going to have to be strong for Misato. If she's going to recover she will need to draw strength form you."
"Sorry," he apologized, taking a deep breath. "I'm just really worried about her."
She let go of his arm and leaned back in her chair. "Forgive me for asking this Shinji, but… did your relationship with Misato ever get physical?"
He laughed nervously and blushed. "Only in my dreams."
"I didn't know you had those kind of dreams Shinji-kun," she teased, trying to lighten the mood.
"I was only spinally challenged, not hormonally," he returned.
She regarded him with a smouldering look. "Ever dream about me that way?" she asked in an exaggerated, seductive voice.
He smiled and shook his head. "The first time we met you were wearing a bathing suit and a lab coat, what do you think? As for me and Misato, I grew to care for her very much because she showed more kindness and affection for me than anyone had, including my own father, since my mother died. To tell you the honest truth, even though I was only fourteen at the time, if she had come to me and wanted something more, I can't say that I wouldn't have given it to her."
"So what happened between you and Misato on the day of the attack?" she asked. She knew that something significant had happened, but she had never been able to get the whole story. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she added.
"It's alright Rits-chan," he said with a bit of a sad smile. "You told me what you went through that day and it's about time I told you my story. I owe you that much at the very least." He took a moment to gather his thoughts.
"I had completely given up. I was a trigger pull away from being executed and I wanted nothing more than to have that soldier blow my brains out and take away my pain. I was waiting for it when I heard gunshots and soldiers started to fall in front of me. I looked up and there's Misato running towards me, firing at them with no regard for the bullets coming back at her. She risked her life for me, a pathetic little boy who just wanted to give up and die when the fate of the human race was in his hands."
"And her actions turned you around?" Ritsuko asked.
"Hell no," Shinji scoffed. "She had to literally drag my sorry ass all over Central Dogma because I wouldn't move. She refused to give up though, maybe it was for me or maybe it was for what I was expected to do. Maybe it was both, I don't know. But all the same, she took a bullet while taking me to a service elevator that would take me to Unit 01. She was willing to spend her life for mine so that I could go and fight the mass production Eva's and prevent Third Impact." He smiled lightly. "And then she kissed me, telling me it was an adult kiss and that we would do the rest when I came back to her."
Ritsuko was taken back for a moment. "Well, that certainly sounds like something Misato would do."
"She was bleeding to death. She was dying and she knew it," Shinji continued, doing his best not to cry over the memory. "I knew what that kiss meant. I knew that she was just trying to do anything she could to motivate me, to shock me into doing what I should have been doing all along. Even so, she put every bit of love and care she had for me in that kiss and it gave me something that I needed. It gave me the feeling that somebody loved me and I decided that I could go on living for that. I could go on living for her if she would let me. When I asked her to forgive me for being a coward and for giving up and wanting to die, she told me that I could only gain her forgiveness by continuing to live, and that's what I have done. She gave me the strength and the will to keep on living. I did what I could for her wound and then went out and fought. I gave it everything I had and I won because somebody believed in me. Because she believed in me."
"You really do love her, don't you?" she asked him, her voice almost a whisper.
"I really do," he answered. "And I want to do everything I can to help her get better. I want her to be happy. I want to make her happy and I want to make sure that no one ever hurts her again."
"She deserves to have someone love her like that," she told him, something close to envy in her voice. "No one has ever truly loved her or tried to love her like that. Even if she didn't show it, she's always been very lonely."
Shinji looked confused. "But didn't Kaji love her?"
"Maybe, but who knows," she shrugged. "He never once told her that he did and that really hurt her. Misato's had a lot of pain and loneliness in her life and she deserves better. I believe you when you say you love her and want to make her happy."
"I've never been more serious about anything in my life," he assured her. "I really do love her Ritsuko."
"Good," she said, her voice taking on a hard edge. "But remember this. If you hurt her, I'll gut you like a fish."
"I know you would," he said, while a shiver went down his spine. "And I would expect you to because I would deserve it."
She smiled. "You really have changed haven't you Shinji?"
"Not as much as you might think," he answered. "But I'm trying and I'm not hiding from the world anymore." He sighed. "For five years I've thought about how things might have been and now I'm scared half to death to find out. For the last twenty four hours I've been thinking about what I would say to her. I've been trying to work out in my head how I'm going to tell her how I feel about her, but I keep seeing the old me stuttering and stumbling and running for the hills."
"You won't run," Ritsuko assured him. "Because that's not who you are anymore. Don't think about it so much. When the right time comes the words will be there."
"If I get to see her at all, that is."
"Now who's being impatient," she teased.
"Must have got it from you, I think you're contagious," he quipped.
She could think of several comebacks for that and most of them were inappropriate and would have made him blush furiously. He was still easy to tease and it was all the more fun now because he was capable of giving back as good as he got.
She stood up and stretched and checked her watch. "I know he told us to wait here, but this is ridiculous. We've been here for almost two hours. He should have at least sent word that he was going to be detained longer than he expected." She was beginning to get angry. "Especially after all the trouble he went through to find out who you were and with his concern for Misato's condition."
"Let's go back out to the reception desk," he suggested. "Maybe the receptionist can track him down. I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this."
All of the doctors and therapists in the psychology wing of the institute had their offices on the fourth floor and a receptionist sitting behind an enormous desk in front of the elevators screened all visitors. Dr. Yoshida was supposedly making his rounds of the patients on the second floor, as well as the third where patients who required medical as well as psychological care, like Misato, were cared for.
They exited Dr. Yoshida's office and followed the long hallway back to the reception area and they knew immediately that something was wrong. People from the security staff had joined the receptionist at her desk and were preparing to search the fourth floor and had people stationed at the elevators and the door to the stairwell.
"What's going on?" Ritsuko asked the receptionist who had earlier shown them to Dr. Yoshida's office.
"A patient has gone missing from their room," the woman answered. "The building has been locked down and they are looking for her."
Ritsuko and Shinji both got a sinking feeling in their stomachs and they both hoped they were wrong and just jumping to conclusions.
"Where's Dr. Yoshida?" Shinji asked.
"He was helping to search for the patient but he just called me and said he was on his way back here," the woman answered.
"Was the patient's name Misato Katsuragi?" he asked.
"I do not know," the woman answered. "And I would not be allowed to tell you if I did. Only the doctors are authorized to give out any information on a patient, even in this circumstance." She could see their worry and their displeasure at her answer. "I'm sorry."
Fortunately they didn't have to wait long as Dr. Yoshida stepped out of the elevator only a couple of minutes later. He had a very distressed look on his face.
"It's her isn't it?" Shinji said, his voice and eyes taking on menacing characteristics that would have made his father proud.
"I'm afraid so," Yoshida admitted. "I wanted to check on her again before I came back to my office but she was gone."
"How long ago was this?" a fuming Ritsuko asked.
"Forty five minutes ago," he answered. "This is a rather large building and we have no idea where she is."
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