A/N: I know I said that this chapter was going to be shorter. I know I did. I mean, it is. It just has more words… a lot more words…

I can't believe I picked the worst day to update the last chapter. The day before everyone's accounts were frozen so they couldn't review! Ha. The irony…

Thanks to my loyal reviewers: shadow929 and snuffles101. Thanks also to aNoNyMoUs QuIdDiTcH gAlLiE who I think went a bit button-happy and practically doubled my reviews. Okay, not really, but close. At least now I'm back up to an average of ten whole reviews a chapter. (I know! I figured it out! Gah I'm so smart….)

December 12th

It happened at breakfast.

And of course, he HAD to send the freaking featherless bird.

So not only did it manage to fall on top of Jacey Inglese's head (and believe me, if you were an owl you would not pick Jacey Inglese's head to land on. She's almost six feet tall and a purple sash in Duelling Club.) but it smashed through he butter, the yoghurt, the jam and last but not least- the maple syrup.

Have you ever had a whole tub of maple syrup spilt on you? If you have, you will know that it is sticky. And that it smells really, really bad.

So I'm just standing there, trying not to breathe in my own smell so as to avoid throwing up, staring at his bloody bird which looks not unlike the Weasley bird, Errol. Everyone's yelling and screaming and just making a huge fuss, whilst Dumbledore sits up at his table, staring down at us, his annoying blue eyes sparkling with amusement.
Oh, it's funny all right. But maybe I could laugh about it a bit more if my eyelashes weren't sticking to my eyebrows.

"Well?" Ange prompts. "Who's it from?"

"Chris," I mutter darkly, still locked in a staring contest with the bird.

"Chris who?"

"Bell! My brother? Sheesh. And you call yourself my friend, woman!"

"Hey! Isn't that the one that dropped you on your head?" Fred shouts excitedly, causing the whole table to laugh at my expense. Oh, great. This is going to be another 'Let's laugh at Katie' day, I can just tell.

"No, Fred," I inform him acridly, "that was Michael. Or it might have been Alex."

"What does he want?"

I opened up the (shoddily sealed) envelope and scanned it.

"Uh huh. Right. WHAT?" I exclaim, so that even the Hufflepuffs, who are at the table furthest away, can probably hear me. "He wants to know if I'm free tonight."

"Why?" Alicia demands.

"He wants to get drunk apparently."

"Doesn't he know that you're still a minor?" Alicia exclaims indignantly.

"Sure," I shrug. "He just doesn't care."

Chris is the middle brother, and my favourite 'cos he doesn't care about the rules. He's a bit like Bill Weasley, really, except more… obnoxious.

Alex, the oldest, is one of those people. You know. The ones who follow rules and obey conformity and stuff. I guess he's a bit like Percy.

Oh, God. Is my whole family like the Weasleys? And if they're like Percy and Bill, who does that make me like? Fred?

The youngest brother, Michael, is three years older than I am and he finished Hogwarts… a while ago. I'm ashamed to say that in terms of personality, his pretty much matches mine. Minus the intellectual part. And the wit.

We both get mad and violent very easily, and we're mean to each other about ninety-nine per cent of the time we spend together. Mum reckons we don't get on because we're too similar. Hell, she's probably right.

Having a mum like mine is really embarrassing. I've mentioned before that she likes dragging us around to muggle museums and that she's very keen on embracing our muggle heritage, not matter how insignificant it is. She's like one of those new age people, and whenever we go over to Gran's house (Dad's gran, actually) she exclaims in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear, "look, kids! It's a tock!"

Luckily Gran is partly deaf.

My dad is a pretty easy-going guy. Just goes to work, comes home and drinks coffee.

But every now and then, him and my mother get into a PDA (public display of affection) frenzy. Let me tell you, you do NOT want to be around them when that happens.

So there you have it. My family.

And speaking of that, I read the part of the letter where it says what Chris wants me for.

His twenty-first birthday.

I don't get it. Why is that more exciting that his seventeenth? After all, seventeen is when you become a legal adult. Whatever. He reckons he's having a party and not telling the 'rents about it.

Should be fun.

Not.

"Hurry up!" Angelina hisses towards Alicia, who's taking her own sweet time getting dressed.

"I'm coming," Alicia whines back, patting her hair one last time. "Do I look okay?"

I roll my eyes. Trust 'Lic to be all worried about how she looks for my brother's birthday, no less. "You look fine."

When we get downstairs, the guys are waiting for us.

"So where are we going?" Fred asks, scratching his head.

"Chris," I sigh exaggeratedly. "You know. My brother."

"Uh huh," Fred nods knowledgably. "Gotcha."

We sneak down the passageway towards the secret tunnel that leads into Hogsmeade. It just so happens that Chris is conveniently having his little gathering in the Three Broomsticks. I mean, is that coincidence or what?

"Check for all illegal personnel," George commands Lee.

Lee pokes his head around the corner. "All clear, Captain," he informs him, grinning widely.

Sigh. They are so immature. I feel an urge to join in. Gah. I am so juvenile. And I love it.

"So," Ange says, as we all duck at a particularly low spot near in the passageway, "are any of your brothers hot?"

"Hey!" Fred exclaims indignantly, leaning over and giving Ange a kiss. "What about me?"

"Oh," Ange smirks. "I'm so over you."

Before they really start fighting, I interrupt (after all, I'd be the one who had to suffer the consequences of their break up when Ange starts trailing after me moaning about how much she misses Fred). "I wouldn't know. I'm not into relations."

"Hmm. Well, I'd say you're handsome, George," Fred says thoughtfully.

"Why thank you. You're not that much of an ugly mole yourself," George replies generously.

Ha. Isn't he kind?

Lee presses in closer to me, and all at once I remember he's afraid of the dark. Huh. I'd forgotten about that.

"Well, I haven't eaten any carrots lately," I tell him regretfully. "So I won't be much use in the dark."

"Oh," Lee says. "Stuff you!" he laughs and moves up next to Fred. I mean, obviously he isn't getting any closer to him than he needs to. Huh. Maybe Lee's secretly batting for the other team, and all this time I've never known. What if he has a crush on Fred?

Well he can't have a crush on Fred, because Fred and Ange are supposed to be together forever, so Lee will have to find some other poor boy to settle down with. Maybe Cedric Diggory will take him on?

Whatever.

"Here we are," George says gallantly, opening up the hatch and then stepping aside for everyone else. "Not you, Katie," he says as I move to go past him. He pushes past and grins back at me. "Ladies first!"

Well. I'm not quite sure who he's insulting there. Me or him? Perhaps it's like killing two birds with one huge rock, or something.

The inside of Honeyduke's is dimly lit, as if all the customers have left but the owners haven't quite decided whether or not to go to bed yet.

"Quiet," hisses Fred, as 'Lic trips over a container, "you'll wake up the guard dog."

"What sort?" Ange asks, who has an odd fascination with dogs, seeing as how not many wizarding households own them, but all her muggle neighbours do.

"Jack Russel," Fred whispers, as if just saying the words out loud will cause it to ravage us.

"No!" Ange gasps, clearly terrified.

"A miniature Jack Russel puppy attacked me once," Alicia says to nobody in particular. "I kept shaking my leg to get it off, and it just get hanging on and hanging on." She shudders. "It was terrible."

I nod. I have no idea what the hell a Jack Russel is, but an image of a large beast not unlike a small dragon comes to mind. God, I hope we don't wake it up.

"Who's Jack Russel?" Lee questions. Needless to say, nobody bothers answering him.

"It's this way…" Fred murmurs, leading the way up a narrow staircase and out into the actual shop. Brilliant multi-coloured jars are everywhere, as are signs advertising all sorts of lollies ranging from "Suck-It-Up-Lolly-Pops" to "Mint-Flavoured-Honeycomb-Chocolate". In any case, it hasn't changed much from the last time I visited. Which really wasn't all that long ago, about last week.

"Guys? I'm serious! Who's Jack Russel?"

"Oh, shit!" Angelina exclaims, as she trips over a booby-trap in the middle of the floor, and an alarm goes off that strangely enough, sounds like a bloated hippopotamus with withdrawal symptoms.

"Run!" Fred whispers loudly, and we all bolt the hell out of there, conveniently knocking over an entire shelf of raspberry liquorice wands while we're at it. Damn. I love them, but how will I be able to eat them now that I know they've been on the floor? Ah, stuff it. Ten second rule.

I grab some up just before I'm pushed out the door by Alicia, who had to fiddle with the locks for some time. Guess they're not all that paranoid about Hogwarts students coming up from underground and ransacking their shop, then.

"Well," I say cheerfully, whilst Fred and George are laughing and Alicia is counting her blessings, "at least we're right on time!"

Lee looks at me strangely. "We're almost an hour late."

I shrug. "In my family, there's no such thing as being fashionably late."

"You're family is weird." Alicia states. "Let's go."

It's only a short walk to the Three Broomsticks, made all the shorter by the fact that we could hear the music blaring and the lights from Honeydukes.

"Katie!" some random dude near the door shouts at me as I push it open, "How're you going?"

I nod. Am I supposed to know who the hell he is? "Yeah, not bad. Who are you?"

Nothing like stating it bluntly, I reckon.

He looks surprised, coming over to give me a one-armed hug. "You don't remember? I'm Michael's friend's brother! Jack? Jack Russel?"

I nod. Is he asking me his name, or what? I guess it's right. "Um. Yeah," I say unconvincingly. "That dude who broke my arm when I was six."

He beams. "Sorry about that, mate. You were in the way."

Yeah. In the way of his pineta stick. I mean, the fact that I was at least ten feet away, purely because I knew that someone would wander away from the freaking pig and hit me had nothing to do with it. I mean, do I look like a pineta to you, buddy?

No, wait. Don't answer that.

"Get some slush in you!" he exclaims, handing me a bottle.

I examine it. Something called Beer. Ha. Real original, whoever thought that up. Sheesh. I squint my eyes to read the fine print. Children under 18 not to consume.

Ha. More than two years under the legal age limit. Alright!

"Katie," Alicia says worriedly from beside me, glancing around nervously at all the twenty-something guys who were in the room, "are you sure this is safe?"

I grin and slap her on the shoulder. "Do you not have any faith in me?" I lament dramatically. "Of course it's safe!" I take a swig of the stuff. And spit it out immediately. Eww! What's this Jack Russel dude trying to do? Poison me?

I hand the bottle over to Fred and make my way through the threads of people, looking for one of my brothers. I mean, I have enough of the damn things, I should be able to find one quickly enough.

Oddly enough, it's the birthday boy I see first. "Katie!" he says when he sees me, giving me a sloppy hug. He's obviously been celebrating for awhile. In other news, he's totally pissed. "You're late!"

"A Bell," I inform him, "is never late."

He laughs like I told him the Minister for Magic was my idol, or something. "Good one!" he exclaims. "Why don't you just go get some punch over there!" he points to a large bowl of punch, which has suspicious looking floaties in it.

"Is it alcoholic?" I ask doubtfully.

"Hell yeah!" he says loudly, laughing maniacally again.

Like I said before, my brother Chris is not the most responsible human being on the planet.

"Okay," I shrug, not thinking much of it. I mean, it's not like I'm going to have more than one cup of it or anything.

The punch is actually really nice. Like… pineapple and some other exotic fruit that I've probably never even heard of.

In fact, by my third class I'm in a fantastically good mood.

By my fifth glass I decide to go see how everyone else is faring. Giggling uncontrollably (oh… my… God. Since when do I giggle? I don't think I've ever giggled in my life. I can't let Lee see me like this. I'll never hear the end of it!)

"Hi!" I greet Angelina enthusiastically. She's talking to some girl, who's even taller than her and looks vaguely familiar. They both have some sort of drink in their hand, and they're getting along like a house on fire.

"… And then," Ange says, gasping for breath; she's laughing so hard, "and then, they flew into the window!"

The other girl squeals. "That happened to me once! Well, actually it was the Chaser for the Kensington Krestals. She flew straight into the room that the Minister of Magical Sports and Games was in, having a meeting!"

Ah. The name comes to me suddenly. Clarissa Yerkin. Some famous-ish Quidditch player, who plays for the Tornadoes. My brothers know some strange people.

Alicia is talking to some bookish looking guy, about Alex's age. He better not be hitting on her. Seriously, that's like… eight years older than her. Perverted cradle-snatcher!

"… And have you read the latest book by Octavious Ruefield? No? Well, it explains the theory of exactly how the Department of Mysteries think that our brains work…"

"Muggles have already figured that out," Alicia says smugly.

"Yes, yes… but we wizards have to learn about the magic part of the brain. It's so fascinating, see. First they conduct a serious of revolutionised tests, and then…"

Nope. Definitely not hitting on her.

Time to move on. Fred and George are in the centre of the room, with at least a dozen people standing around them. I push my way through, just in time to hear something Fred says.

"And then his eyes nearly bulged out of his head!" Fred concluded triumphantly.

"Yeah, Poor Snape. I don't think he realised he had it coming…"

"…The minute he decided he wanted to take on Fred and George Weasley…"

"…By actually making us concoct a illusion potion!"

"Yeah. Poor Snape when he realised what he was wearing…"

"…Which was nothing. I must say, though, gentlemen, he does not have a lot to brag about down there. So ladies, (or gentlemen) if you're thinking about Professor Snape in strangely erotic ways-"

"Go for someone else. Like… sorry. What did you say your name was? Ah. Alex here! Roll up, roll up! Only one sickle to get a kiss from this handsome man!"

They'd been here not even an hour and had already managed to auction my brother off. God, they are going to become bazillionaires one day.

I pause for a moment, thinking that there's someone I've missed. I count it on my fingers. One… two… three… five… six!

Hmm. Oh. Lee.

It takes me forever to find him, and when I do not even the fact that I'm sloshed isn't enough to keep my jaw from dropping. He' s having a (what appears to be) riveting conversation with Michael.

Which is like, way strange.

"Hi," I say, going up and tapping Lee on the back, in the desperate hope of saving him form my brother's truly terrifying grasps.

"Katie!" he exclaims, nearly tipping over. Oh, great. My brothers have managed to get all my friends as pissed as… well, pissed monkeys. "I was just telling your brother all about you!"

"Really?" I ask sceptically, raising an eyebrow.

He nods. "Uh huh. And he was…" he turns back to Michael. "What were you saying?"

Michael smirks at me. "Just wondering if you were good enough for my baby sister."

Stupid prick. Pretending to be all caring.

"Did you tell him?" I screech.

Lee looks mildly surprised. "No," he says. "I thought you did."

"Duh. I haven't been talking to him," I say, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "This is bad!" Now mum and dad will know. Then they'll want to meet him. Oh no. What if they invite him over for Christmas, and he has to meet Great Aunt Tessa? I hope he doesn't meet Great Aunt 'Two-Tonne' Tessa. That would be bad. It would be her pinching his cheek the whole time, whilst Lee rubbed it and then she pinched him again. Uck.

"Well," Michael drawls slowly, enjoying my discomfort, "I was just checking to see if you can make your own choices yet. You know, seeing as how I'm out of Hogwarts and all."

I glare at him. "You idiot! You just want to embarrass me."

Michael thinks about this. "Yeah."

"So, Leroy," Michael says, smirking at me as he turns back to Lee. Sheesh. He so should have been put in Slytherin. Well, technically I reckon everyone I know should have been put in Slytherin. Except me. But I'm not too sure about me, either.

"Lee," Lee corrects, grinning back. Stupid drunkards.

"D'you want to come over and visit Katiekins for the holidays?"

Hello? What if I don't want him to come? And besides, he's my boyfriend! I should be the one to invite him.

Lee nods. I wonder briefly if he's too intoxicated to realise what he's getting himself into. I mean, a trip to my house would involve meeting my parents. I mean, he's met them before, along with the whole group. But this would involve, like, actually meeting them. You know.

"Okay," he slurs, grinning at me.

I sigh. "How much have you drunk?"

"Drank," Michael corrects me, smirking. Stupid intellectual genius.

Lee shrugs. "Not that much…"

"Four goblets full," Michael answers, as if he's bored already.

I nod. Four goblets…. Four goblets? Hell, a Hippogriff could drink half that and still be stoned.

"Okay, I think that's enough for you," I say cheerfully, taking the cup out of his hand.

"But Katie…" Lee whines. "I'm thirsty!"

"Drink some water," I tell him heartlessly. I look at the clock, and decide we should go. I mean, it's practically three in the morning. What are these people, vampires? Normally I can barely stay awake until ten.

"We're going now," I say to Michael.

He nods, distracted. "Great. I'll see you back to the passageway."

"You don't have… what? How do you know about that?" I ask incredulously I mean, here I was thinking that Fred and George were the first people ever to discover it, and then Michael just throws the term around so casually. Well, apart from those people who made the map. The ones with the kinky names. And whoever it was that decided to build the bloody passage way in the first place. They deserve a medal for thinking of something so brilliantly… devious. Right under the sweets shop. 'Course, back then it could have been something boring. Like an adult shop. Ick.

He laughs at my shocked expression. "Katie, Katie, Katie," he sighs. "So young; so naïve. I've known about that since before you came to Hogwarts."

"So… ten years, then?" I ask, counting on my fingers and probably doing a really bad job.

He scoffs. "Who taught you Arithmacy? Eight, moron." (Still, he took a while calculating that, and I think I saw him move his fingers. Ha. He thinks he's so clever.)

"Uh huh. How did you find it?"

"Uh… never mind," he answers, going a bit pink. Hehe. My brother's nineteen and he still blushes. What a loser.

"You probably fell through the portrait or something really stupid like making up a word and then it opened, and you didn't even realise it." I say, smirking evilly. Which is really strange, but hey. That's my brother.

"Something like that," he replies, not looking at me. "Go round up your little accomplices."

Accomplices? Accomplices for what? I mean, what does he think I do at Hogwarts? By the sounds of it, he has lots of little suspicions…. Mwahahaha. I'll never tell!

…

Anyway. "Ange!" I scream at her, over the rising music. Poor Madame Rosemerta. I mean, imagine having this sort of racket every night. It's a wonder she's not an ugly old hag. Not that there's anything wrong with hags. "We're going!"

"Just a minute!" She yells back, turning back to the Quidditch person and thrusting something at her. Oh. It's an autograph book, the one she has the treasured autographs of famous Quidditch people on it, like her all-time hero Adelaide Mawson, the first-ever female Chaser on a Quidditch team to fight for equal rights (before that, the girls got a ten-second head start). But it's not as if the book isn't like, three hundred years old. Her family just passes it down… and down… and down.

She even has Oliver's signature on it, because, she informed me aridly, he'll become a famous Quidditch player one day.

The sad thing is, she's probably right.

"'Lic!" I shout over at Alicia, "we're going!"

"Hang on!"

Huh. It seems like no one wants to come back. How sad. Wouldn't it be funny if I just left them here? Just as I'm seriously considering it, Michael appears next to me.

"Don't even think about it."

Damn. Stupid ESP thingy.

When I finally manage to haul them all away, and Michael still insists on 'accompanying' us, I can tell that the party wasn't such a great idea.

I wonder if you can get charged for causing a whole heap of minors to get inebriated? If so, my brother is going to Azkaban. Ha.

"Katie," George grins, tottering unsteadily in front if me, "that party was so cool."

"Yeah," Ange agrees, then pauses thoughtfully. "Who was it for again?"

I roll my eyes at them. Seems like I'm the only one here who can hold my alcohol. Which is strange about Alicia: I would have picked here to be the responsible, mature one in this situation. But she's as gone as the rest of them.

"Did you know," she giggles, "that toilets were originally invented as a place to store your food?"

Gah. I don't know these people!

Angelina suddenly screams. We all rush to her aid (well, as quickly as is possible without completely turning around and hobbling the other way) but all that's happened is she tripped on a lollypop. Seriously.

"It's stuck on my shoe," she says happily. She gets up fine enough, but after that we just keep hearing this step… crunch… step… crunch… step… crunch.

"Ange!" I scream after a minute. "Will you please sit down and take the freaking sugar off your bloody foot?"

"No problem," Ange obliges happily. Wow. We should so give her firewhiskey more often. I mean, she's just so… amiable. I love her like this!

"Wait a minute," Lee says, stopping so suddenly that George crashes into him, Alicia crashes into George, Angelina crashes into Alicia, Fred crashes into Angelina, and I crash into Fred. "Where're we going?"

The whole effect was like Wizarding dominoes. Which is basically like the Muggle version, except in the Wizarding version they all fall over. So really, not that similar at all.

"Oh," Michael says nonchalantly, "I knew that Honeydukes would be shut, considering all the noise you made coming through."

"You heard that?" Fred asks in amazement.

Michael shrugs. "Sure. Thought you were a bit, you know, wasted already, to tell you the truth."

Gah. Now my whole family will think my friends are psychopathic alcoholic addicted lunatics. Whoa, that was long.

"Let me get this straight. We're going to just stroll through the gates of Hogwarts," I say slowly, "and you think we'll just be let in? Just like that?" I made an attempt to snap my fingers, but only a strange wheezy noise came out.

Michael nods slowly. "You know," he says, "I think that just might work."

"You mean you didn't have a plan?"

"…No."

"So whats the plan now?"

"What you said before."

"I can't remember what I said before."

"Too bad, I guess."

"What do you mean, 'too bad'? You came to escort us to our little castle, and you have to do that! Otherwise…"

"Otherwise what?"

"You'll be failing your duty as a brother," I mutter ominously.

Fred, George, Lee, Ange and Alicia all gasp. "No!"

"Yes," I say smugly. "And we can't have that."

"Alright!" Michael groans, and I know he's regretting ever trying to help us out. I wonder why he did it on the first place. Maybe he wanted to impress Alicia. But ew. Cradle snatcher much? "Do you have another idea, dork-brain?"

"Now I know where she gets her insults from," George mutters under his breath.

"…No."

"Well let's cross our fingers and hope for the best!" Angelina says cheerily, marching forward. "Onwards!"

Righto, then. We all follow her.

When we reach the front gate, there's surprisingly no one is guarding it. I mean, come on, people. A deranged murderer is on the loose. You don't think it might be time to up the security or anything?

"Hey look," Ange says, pointing to a large black dog that's standing near the edge of the forest. The weirdo loves animals, for some reason or another. She's like, top of her class in Magical Creatures. "Here puppy!"

"Maybe," Michael says thoughtfully, "we can devise an elaborate scheme in which we get the dog to sneak up to Hagrid's hut and steal the keys."

Lee groans and bangs his head on the fence. "De ja vu!"

"Yeah," Fred agrees, sitting back and looking from me to Michael, impressed, "you guys are so weird."

"What?" Michael and I say at the same time. Then we turn to each other and go, "hey! I said it first!"

"Wait!" I scream, launching myself on Fred. "You were there you little arsehole! You left us out there to die! I hate you! I'm telling Edward all about you! I hope he eats you!"

"Well to be fair," George says wryly, surveying me attack his twin calmly, "we did panic a bit when we thought you were dead. After all, you were under the water for about half an hour. It was only then that Fred suggested maybe we should have given you your wands."

Michael doesn't even stick up for me, the way a brother should when he learns that I was abandoned on a mattress in the middle of a dangerous lake. He just says, "whatever."

"Here, puppy," Lee says, edging closer to it.

I get off Fred and try to regain my dignity. After looking at the dog for a minute, I announce, "I'm going to call it Snuffles."

"No way," Fred objects. "That's a stupid name."

"No it isn't," I contradict, "he looks like a Snuffles."

Angelina just looks at me doubtfully.

I shrug and turn away, already bored with the proceedings. I want to get back into my bed!

Michael, stupid, stupid, Michael, gets annoyed and decides to kick the fence. Hard. Bad move. Very, very bad move.

An alarm of sorts starts ringing, and he panics.

"Fuck!" That was me.

"Shit!"

"Good one!"

"Crap!"

"Oh no." The last one was Fred, who's looking interested to see what will happen. I think it's sad when someone gets so many detentions they're excited at the prospect of, oh, another six dozen.

We can see figures hurrying towards us.

The first one is Hagrid; his not insignificant bulk hiding most of the other people that have been woken by our alarm.

The next one is McGonagall, and she looks… frightened?

The next one is Dumbledore, and he doesn't look amused, like he normally does when I'm called into his office.

"Katie," Michael says sincerely, "if you get expelled, and so you won't be able to graduate, will you tell mum it wasn't my fault?"

"Uh… no."

Well. That settles that, then.

"Miss Bell!" Unfortunately, I'm the first one McGonagall picks out.

All the other teachers are silent, right up until when they come up to the gate. "Fred and George Weasley! Was it you who set off this alarm? I hope you know what serious matter this is. You could be expelled for this-"

"It was me," Michael interrupts miserably. He looks up at her and grins. "Sorry, Professor."

Wow. That was so… noble. I never would have believed it if I hadn't just seen it with my own eyes. Maybe now I can actually admit that he's my brother in public.

"Michael Bell?" She asks, incredulously.

"Yep."

"Well," Dumbledore says, suddenly. "To what do we owe the honour?"

"Well, Professor," Michael says quickly, "I found this students wandering the town, and being the responsible brother I am, decided to escort them back to the castle," he says pompously.

I take it back. I take it all back.

"I see, Mr Bell," Professor Dumbledore says. "So you activated the alarm, and in doing so you knew that a teacher would come and collect these students and escort them back to their beds?"

Michael nods responsibly. "Yes, sir."

Dumbledore's mouth twitches. "Thank you. Now you may go back to your… activities," he says. "We will take appropriate action with the students." He leans forward, and whispers, "and we'll also give them a sobering potion."