Title: Twisted Tale

By: Tsuneni2Nocis

Summary: What happens when a muggle matchmaker is sought out by Dumbledore to bring house unity? Insanity, time travel, closeness...and pissed off characters. hehehe...let the madness begin! R&R Parings: HG/DM, BZ/GW, RW/PP, HP/LB

Disclaimer: I'll admit it; The Harry Potter characters ARE mine. Yup- I am J.K Rowling. Ha-ha-and then I woke up from this dream and realized I wasn't. So, not mine- Doesn't mean I can't borrow them and use them to perform my evil tricks on them though. Hehehe...this should be fun!

Chapter 5:

Deisi walked leisurely towards the Head's common room and sat down on a comfortable couch. She grabbed the remote of the big screen TV and switched through the channels finally finding the one Hermione and Draco where showing in. Deisi smiled and took out a wand, she magically made a bowl of butter popcorn appear, along with plenty of pumpkin juice.

England, Middle Ages, 1277

Hermione felt herself being pulled forward after the potion had covered her from head to toe. She tried to scream out a curse at Malfoy but didn't get the chance to. Now she was on the ground, below her something kept squirming, she opened her eyes and realized that Malfoy was below her. She yelped and rolled off of him.

"Bloody time you got off of me, mudblood." Draco got up and bushed off the dirt on his clothes. He was too angry to notice the fact that he wasn't wearing his school robes.

"Malfoy, you dumbass! What did you do to the potion! Where the hell are we!" Hermione screeched as she looked around and noticed that she was not any where near Hogwarts. Small villages were around the area, crop fields were close by and people wearing funny clothing were coming towards her.

Draco looked around and began to pale even more.

"Granger, reverse this!" Draco commanded.

"I don't know how to, and it WAS your fault! What did you do?"

"Nothing!" He stated defensively.

"Liar! Malfoy, we aren't at Hogwarts anymore!" Hermione cried.

"No, really?" He replied sarcastically.

"Don't make that tone with me, Malfoy!"

"I'll do what I very well please; it WAS your fault to begin with!"

"It was not!"

"Was too."

Draco then looked down at Hermione and took a look at what she was wearing.

"What are you wearing?" Damn, I never knew Granger had such curves...what did I just say? Hell I must be going crazy!

Hermione looked down and covered her chest, which was more that exposed. She blushed furiously as she noticed she was wearing a gown of velvet, her dress was crimson in color and was trimmed with gold thread around the bosom. Her breasts were exposed and the corset, which she just realized was cutting of her circulation, made her waist seem tinier than it really was. Her hair was in soft waves around her back, a golden ribbon was braided through it.

"Bloody hell." Hermione then looked at Draco and went pale. "W-what are YOU wearing?"

Draco looked down and noticed that he was wearing some type of dress thing. It was down to his knees and he wore some sort of tight material on his legs that covered them. His sleeves were enormous and he had a cape around him.

"Crap, where the hell are we!" Hermione shook her head and shrugged, while trying to make the corset a little bit less...tight.

"I have no clue, I-I can't seem to breath though. I think I should lie-" Hermione fainted without finishing her sentence, the fact that she hadn't gotten enough oxygen had her gasping and finally falling into a deep oblivion.

Some people dressed as lavishly as Draco and Hermione rushed forward.

"Prince Draco, what happened to the Princess?" One man asked. Draco said nothing, realizing what the other man had just said. Bloody hell...prince?

"Move aside, move aside!" A man bellowed, instantly the crowd around Hermione parted. A beefy man with rosy cheeks wearing a golden crown on his head went forward and motioned for two people to come. "Take my daughter to the castle while I deal with the Prince."

The two men rushed forward and carried "Princess Hermione" up to the castle, which vaguely resembled Hogwarts. The beefy man with brown eyes turned to Draco.

"Draco, my boy, what happened to my daughter?"

"Err...I don't know...sir. One minute she was standing, talking to me, and the next she...collapsed." Probably anorexic or something...stupid Granger.

"Very well, then. I've fetched the healer; he'll be here in a couple of minutes. I've notified your father, also. He'll be here shortly so we can finish drawing the plans out. You're a lucky lad, now go to Hermione; she must have wakened up by now."

"Err...right." Shit, these people must be on drugs or something! Argh! Why am I even wearing these damn clothes! Who knew tights were so uncomfortable...damn Granger and her damn potion! I'll get her for this; she must have done it on purpose.

Draco made his way towards the castle, where he headed up to Hermione's chamber. A servant had shown him where it had been and he entered, ready to strangle Hermione. As the door opened his jaw dropped.

Hogwarts, the 20th century

Deisi gasped as she saw the vision on television.

"Oh, god. I did NOT have to see THAT." Deisi turned of the television and go up from her position on the couch.

"Hmm...I would say so far so good. That's one pair that's going through something right now...ha-ha! Wait till later when they find out that they are be-" Deisi looked up and spotted the women in the portrait looking at her funny.

"Is there a problem?" Deisi asked.

"Well, my dear, is it a usual habit of yours to talk to yourself?"

Deisi grinned. "As a matter of fact, yes. Yes, it is. Now if you will kindly let me get back to my conversation...?"

"Yes, yes, carry on...children these days."

Deisi went back to talking to herself, an idea struck her rapidly and she took out her pen and notebook.

So far everything is going according to plan. Hermione and Draco have both gone back in time and are in the Medieval Ages. From that point everything is fine, although they could be better. Hopefully they don't end up killing each other. From the looks of it, the just might though. Hmm...It's time for me to turn my attentions to another couple though. I think I know who it's going to be this time. Lavender and Harry ARE in the same house, yet they don't seem to be that close...wonder why they don't like another. Oh, well. I'll just have to...bring them together, closer I should say. Yes, that's exactly what I will do.

Author's note: Hehehehe...Harry and Lavender are up next. Don't worry though; you'll get to read more on Hermione and Draco. Review!

-Tsuneni2Nocis