Title: Twisted Tale

By: Tsuneni2Nocis

Summary: What happens when a muggle matchmaker is sought out by Dumbledore to bring house unity? Insanity, time travel, closeness...and pissed off characters. hehehe...let the madness begin! R&R Parings: HG/DM, BZ/GW, RW/PP, HP/LB

Disclaimer: I'll admit it; The Harry Potter characters ARE mine. Yup- I am J.K Rowling. Ha-ha-and then I woke up from this dream and realized I wasn't. So, not mine- Doesn't mean I can't borrow them and use them to perform my evil tricks on them though.

Author's note: Hey, guys! I'm back! Yaaay. How was your Christmas and winter Holidays? Well…let's get started! On with the story!

Chapter 8:

Deisi walked out of the Great Hall singing a tune she had composed herself.

I'm so very, very evil,

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

'Tis the season to put couples together,

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

To torture, and watch them,

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…

Deisi continued humming until she came upon her, now own, dormitory room. She said the password and went in. She had only one purpose in mind; to see what was happening with Hermione and Draco (A/n: Yeah, I'm finally getting to them again.) and to see what Pansy and Ron were doing. After she was done with that she was going to go and see what Lavender and Harry were up to. As for Ginny and Blaise; she was going to put that plan into action a little later.

She went into her room, and Hermione's and she took out some sweat pants and a white tank-top. After she changed she returned to the common room and sat on the couch; which was across the television set. She grabbed her red blanket and covered herself with it, then she turned on the TV; flipping through the channels.

"A-ha, Gottcha." She mumbled as she found the channel Hermione and Draco were located at.

-England, Middle Ages, 1277-

(A/n: Dun, dun, dun.)

Draco made his way towards the castle, where he headed up to Hermione's chamber. A servant had shown him where it had been and he entered, ready to strangle Hermione. As the door opened his jaw dropped.

Hermione stood there, clutching a pillow to her obviously nude body. She stared in horror at the three servants around her, trying to dress her; she still hadn't noticed Draco gawking at her like a school boy.

"Get away from me! Ah, I can dress MYSELF! No, don't touch me; sick-o perverts! I'm not THAT kind of girl; I like guys, men, the MALE species!" Hermione moved away from one of the servants trying to clean her body off with a wet cloth.

She was extremely embarrassed because of her body, nobody had ever, EVER, seen her nude once her body had begun to change. Not since she was a BABY, which she wasn't now.

"Milady, but we must wash you. You have dirt everyone, 'tis not fit for a princess. Your father will have out heads if he sees you haven't been cleaned properly; stand still, please?" One of the servants begged.

"Noooooo! Nobody touches MY body, except me. It's just…too weird. Get out! Out, out, out!" She yelled.

She tried moving away from their grasp but one of the servants managed to grab the pillow Hermione had been clutching to cover some of her nudity. She now had no armor to cover anything up.

Draco, he still stared. He was getting extremely hard at the sight of Hermione nude. Her slender waist, wide hips, ample bosom, was making him think very erotic thoughts too. He pictured himself surrounded by her long, full legs and being kissed by her. He snapped out of it all of a sudden and realized where his thoughts had already headed to. But damn if he wasn't hard, it was bordering to almost painful.

Hermione tried to run by the servants, one hand covering her breasts and the other her lower half. When she made it passed them she stopped abruptly and finally noticed Draco.

"Ahhhhh! Get out you pervert! Ouuuut! OMG! I can't believe you're just standing there, looking at me! Get out, or I swear I fill rip you bone from bone! Ouuuuut!" Hermione screamed.

Draco forced a smirk, though his hard-on was preventing him from saying much.

"Muddblood, why would I lower myself to watch the lower peasantry when I can have anyone I want?" His voice came out husky and he forced himself to look like her nudeness didn't affect him in the least.

Hermione looked down and looked up again. Raising an eye brow she said, "Ahem- is that a scroll under your toga or are you just happy to see me then?"

Draco turned a deep crimson and cursed tights.

The servants didn't let Draco response to that and began wailing in hysteria.

"Prince Draco, what are you doing in your lady's chambers? Her father will have your head if he finds out you have seen his daughter without robes; before…well, I'm sure you know about it!" an exasperated servant yelled.

Soon they were rushing towards him and shoving him onto the hall way, Hermione used that opportunity and closed the door. Soon the servants were trying to get her to open it.

"I said, leave me alone! I don't know what drugs you're in, but you aren't getting anywhere near my body! And get that git out of here! Ahh!"

He saw me without clothes and he got a-a- ahhh! That's disgusting, flattering, but disgusting. Hmm…I wonder what he would be like without any clothes- OMG; I can't believe I just thought that! Hermione, Ahhh! What's happening to you, I know…I bumped my head. That's got to be the reason why I think Dra- Malfoy is hot! I don't, I just…well, yeah.

Hermione kept thinking that over and over again. Then she remembered that she had to get dressed and hurried to do it. She chose to not wear a corset; since it meant she could not breathe and just chose a simple- but extremely beautiful- satin dress; it was the simplest dress she could find.

Sighing she opened the door, it was now dark and the servant had long gone. They had gone to the King, but so far her "father" hadn't come. They had said something about a feast and preparing the food and so they had rushed off.

-Meanwhile, with Draco-

Draco walked down the corridors of the castle, looking at a painting here and another one there. He tried to think of anything else besides Hermione and her nice legs, slim waist…he snapped out of his thoughts all of a sudden, knowing where they were going to lead; another hard-on, and so he continued walking.

He had gone out of Hermione's room reluctantly and headed off into another direction, now he was lost. He had checked his clothes and tried to look for his wand; which he never found. What he did find was a sword strapped to his sides, encrusted with jewels.

He stopped all of a sudden when he heard a voice behind him. It was Hermione's father, he strode towards Draco. His crown gleamed a golden color and a smile was on his lips.

"Draco, my boy; Come along now, it's almost time for the feast! A few words before we announce what we have too…Hermione is a very good girl, and extremely smart for her own good; try to keep her in check when- well, you know. Oh- and Prince Christopher will be here any moment now, why not go and greet him?"

Before Draco could say anything regarding the feast the King pushed him towards a door where he was told to wait for Prince Christopher. Draco was raging mad at that moment because nobody would even let him get a word in. Finally, after thirty minutes of waiting, a short, chubby man walked in and bowed.

"Presenting Prince Christopher or Vakindonm." Without another word he went out and a tall, dark haired man appeared in the doorway. He was approximately twenty, had deep blue, smiling eyes, strong jaw and was more muscularly built than Draco. Without meaning to he felt a twinge of envy as he sized the guy up.

Christopher smiled broadly and went closer to Draco. "Draco, I came to congratulate you personally. You have no idea how happy I am for you, Hermione was my first true love but…under the circumstances I give you my blessing."

Draco at that pint was confused, he had no idea what he was talking about nor did he know what was going on here. All he had come to terms with was the fact that he seemed to be back in time because of the potion that he had done before coming here. Since he didn't want to seem stupid because he had no idea what he was talking about, all he knew was that it had to do with Hermione, he just nodded his head.

"Err…yes." He mumbled under his breath.

"Just know this, if you harm her in any way, I will have your head." Without another word he left the chamber that they were in and left leaving Draco fuming behind him.

-Outside the chamber with Christopher-

Heh- will Hermione and Draco have the biggest surprise of their lives. I have really no idea why I even agreed to help Deisi with her plans to bring house unity…it's really rubbish, but still…I couldn't help NOT helping her. She is a very big friend of mine…I don't know how I'm supposed to act like I love Hermione for her plan when I don't…I don't love her actually, I love…well, she probably doesn't feel anything for me either. It's utterly hopeless, I'll just keep on doing my job…maybe then I'll win her praise.

-Now, with Hermione-

The maids rushed towards Hermione as soon as they saw that the door opened. They looked at her up and down and nodded, obviously they didn't mind that Hermione had chosen a simpler dress to wear.

"Milady, do hurry up, the feast is about to begin; you need to be there!" one of them shouted and pushed her down a long corridor. Soon she was at the Great Hall of the castle, everyone had already been seated. A long, think table was in the center of the room, plates and dishes were set before all the guests. The King and Queen sat at the highest table there, over looking their guests.

Hermione saw that Draco had already been seated besides the King and another guy also. She looked at the man with blue eyes and dark hair; she instantly felt a crush forming. As the two door closed behind her, all the eyes bore on her. The men all stood for her entrance and the women besides their husbands smiled warmly. There were more than one hundred people present; at least that's what she thought as she looked at all the richly clad people in the room.

She smiled and looked both ways. She had no clue what to do, until she saw a chair across from Draco that was empty, she guessed that it was for her and she slowly made her way to it. Slowly people began to sit down and she was soon at the top of the table, with her "father".

All right, now what…am I supposed to bow or something! Ahh- I knew I should have taken that History course they were making over vacation! Alright…I'll just bow and umm…yeah.

Hermione smiled at the people at the table, except for Draco. She couldn't even look at him in the eye.

The King stood up and waved for silence, which followed.

"I have a great announcement to make! Please pay attention." Everyone looked up at the King who had a huge smile on his face.

"Prince Draco of the Nethrilandious Coloniassn, came to me this morning with a proposal. As you all know, my daughter and himself have been courting another, and came to love another-"

Hermione stared dumbly at the King while Draco stood gaping up at him.

"it is now my pleasure to announce that my only daughter, Hermione, and a man I came to love as my own child, Draco will be getting married in two months!"

The hall erupted into cheers while Hermione stood watching in horror. I-we-I-what! I have to get married with HIM! Draco Malfoy! My enemy! Ahh! I've lost it! Wake me up, someone, from this dream that keeps getting worse! Oh- I know, I'll pinch myself! Yes, that's it!

Hermione pinched her hand and yelped with pain.

Oh, lord! It's true, I'm awake, and I have to marry him! Kill me noooooow!

Draco looked at Hermione's expressions and would have laughed at the silliness of then. Except that he HAD TO MARRY HER! It was not, anywhere near, a laughing matter!

I have to marry her, my reputation will be ruined…my parents will take away my fortune! God, no! I can't let this happen, I will kill her- yes, that's it! If she's dead I can't marry her, I'm safe! Oh, wait…I'm not a killer, and the last thing I want is blood on my hands. Damn myself! Uhh…What the hell am I supposed to do now!

The king motioned to everyone to stop with the congratulations and motioned for the servants to serve the first course of food.

-Hogwarts, Present-

Deisi changed the channel on the television, and changed it to where Ron and Pansy were located at. She had just wanted to see how Hermione and Draco were, and wanted to make sure that everything was going according to plan.

She decided to call Christopher (A/n: Deisi can communicate with Christopher on a magical phone…because, well…it's my story!) and soon he was on the line.

Christopher: Hello?

Deisi: Hey, Chris! Are you ready for the next stage of the plan?

Chris: Sigh Yes, I am…what else am I supposed to do besides what you have told me already?

Deisi: Well, that's what I have so far. Thanks, again, for doing this for me, Chris. You have no idea how much I appreciate it; you're such a great friend.

(In a low voice)

Chris: If only we could be more…

(Deisi not hearing)

Deisi: I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you…what was that?

Chris: Nothing, forget it. Is there something else you want me to help you with?

Deisi: No, no, what you're doing is helping me more than enough! Thanks, again, Chris. Love ya! (A/n: She means as a friend… 'I love you' in this story means that they love them as more than friends….)

Chris: I love you too.

Click.

Deisi hung up the phone and returned to watching the television, for some odd reason…she just felt confused about everything.

Author's Note: I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update, I've been extremely busy with all my school work and trying to keep my grades up. Well, I know it isn't long…but, that's what I could do in the short amount of time I had for a break! I'll try to update soon, although it won't be as often as I would like…please review! They motivate me to write more and take time to make longer chapter! hint, hint

-Tsuneni2Nocis