By: Tsuneni2Nocis
Summary: What happens when a muggle matchmaker is sought out by Dumbledore to bring house unity? Insanity, time travel, passion...and pissed off characters. Hehehe...let the madness begin! R&R Parings: HG/DM, RW/PP, HP/LB
Disclaimer: It's all true! I'm not lying! The Harry Potter characters are all mine! So don't be jealous! Don't you cry! I'll let you see Harry nude, one more time! (Well, not really. Bah! They belong to J.K Rowling, that lucky person!)
Author's note: Hey everyone!! Hope you're all are doing good. Just wanted to say a few things before I get on with chapter nine…
1). Sorry for the long wait, I've been so busy lately!
2). I need a BETA so if anyone is interested e-mail me at I decided to work with Harry and Lavender, Ron and Pansy, Hermione and Draco for now. I don't think I can handle four couples at the same time! So, Ginny and Blaise will have to wait for later…mayhap in a different story or something!
4). Enjoy the story!! And, review!
Chapter Nine:
--Somewhere in the middle of nowhere--
It was pouring rain outside on the beach, thunder and lightning could be heard and seen at a distance; waves could be heard crashing into each other. Besides the beach a red-head was on the soggy ground, groaning in pain and from the cold.
"Ugh…gimme back my covers, Fred!" Ron yelled, imagining that it was his brother that had taken away the sheets and the cause of why he was so cold.
Ron could feel the water soaking him, but it didn't really matter to him; all he needed was sleep. He turned on his side and used his hand as a pillow.
Meanwhile a turtle was making its way out of the water when suddenly it saw Ron. His back was visible, and his pants were now lowered, his back-side could be seen. (A/n: If only we could see it…lol)
It moved towards Ron and opened its mouth, biting Ron's butt.
"Ahh!" He screamed.
With a jolt he got up, trying to get the stinging out of his buttocks, the turtle was still clutching them with his mouth.
"Get it off, get it off!!! Ahh, it hurts, it hurts!!! MUUUUMMM!!!" He reached behind him and plied the turtle off of him. Then he backed away, he was now sobbing.
"It's burning, and now it's bleeding!! Ahh!" He was so caught up in what was happening that he didn't even notice that he was no where near Hogwarts, and no where near anywhere he had ever been.
He went backwards suddenly and tripped over something. He landed with a thud and his buttocks began to hurt even more. He looked in front of him and he saw a girl with her head stuck in the dirt; Pansy.
"Mffttttmph!!" her head was covered in dirt and she was trying to get it out of the ground. Ron began to laugh and laugh. All the while, Pansy continue screaming and trying to actually ask for help; she had no idea Ron was next to her.
After a few minutes of this Ron began to feel frustrated, the stinging from his butt had dulled, but it still hurt tremendously. He crawled towards Pansy and grabbed her by the waist, and then he pulled. They both went backwards and Pansy began screeching bloody murder.
"Lemme go!!! I said, let me go!" She continued this charade while Ron struggled to not get beat-up. He got tired of his chin being punched so he shoved her forward and thrust her face into the dirt again; once again, Pansy was stuck.
"Mphfft. Back to bed now!" Ron crawled on all fours and made himself comfortable on the sand. He soon was fast asleep, Pansy got her head un-stuck but she was too tired to complain and went to sleep too.
Four hours later …
Ron and Pansy awoke at the same instant and they looked around, and then looked back at each other.
"Where the hell are we?!" Ron yelled.
"I don't know, I don't know! What will we do, Ron?!" Pansy made her way over to Ron and sobbed on his shoulder while he gently patted her back.
It was getting darker now, and pretty soon it was going to be night-time. Both teenagers had no idea what do, since they never had to deal with this before. They were surrounded by water, didn't have their wands and the island that they were encased in had no sounds of living beings being there.
"Don't worry, Pansy! We'll get out of this…it's not like people didn't see us disappear or anything…they'll come find us! Dumbledore's, probably, already using all the resources that he needs to find us…don-don't…cry!!" Ron then began sobbing and wailing like his b-hind was set on fire—which was still hurting, by the way.
--Back at Hogwarts--
Deisi had fallen asleep on the couch, while watching Pansy and Ron on the television. She awoke with a start when she heard something tapping outside the door. Rubbing her eyes, she stood and headed for the door, saying the password, the portrait opened and Dumbledore stepped in.
"Ah, Ms. Acevedo, just the person I wanted to see. How are you doing today?"
Dumbledore crossed the portrait door and made his way inside the dormitory, grabbing a pile of candy that was on a table near the couch.
"Pretty good, Sir, I just finished watching Ron and Pansy." She mumbled stifling a yawn with her right hand.
"And?"
"Nothing much to tell really. They're in a 'deserted' island, until I plant some people there, to make everything more interesting, of course."
"Yes, of course. What of Hermione and Draco, Lavender and Harry?" Dumbledore asked, a twinkle coming into his light blue eyes as he smiled.
"Well…they're doing pretty good right now too. Haven't killed themselves yet, but I do believe that they soon will, but…I won't let that happen. I was just about to check on the two couples but I fear I went to sleep instead." Sheepishly, Deisi turned on the television.
"Would you care to join me, in watching everything unravel, Sir?" Deisi asked.
Making a bowl of popcorn appear out of nowhere, Dumbledore answered, "I thought you'd never ask!"
---- --- ---
England, Middle Ages, 1277
After the initial shock of having to get married with Draco, Hermione managed to take a sip of her drink. Her 'father' continued to talk to all the guests, while she plotted what she would do to get away from there before anything would actually happen.
"Now, with this news that I grant you all, let's eat!" Everyone began to gather the food that was in front of them, while servants served them drink and other things. Hermione was silent, and Draco remained furious.
"Ah, father…" Hermione began, "Is it true that I'm to be married?" she quietly asked.
The King looked at her incredulous and then he looked at Draco. "I thought you said that she had your consent?"
Draco scowled at Hermione, and hated the fact that his honor was in jeopardy because of a muggle born. He stood up, grabbed Hermione by the arm, and excused himself as he went outside with Hermione desperately trying to keep up with him.
"What the hell was that for, Malfoy?! And, PLEASE tell me what is going on here! I'm not marrying YOU, ever; today, tomorrow, not even when hell freezes over!" She pushed Draco away, and he almost staggered.
"I have no idea what's happening here! Do you honestly think that I WANT to marry such a despicable thing as you?! Never in my life would I want that. But, even if it IS so, I WILL NOT, have you damaging my honor! We have to play along here!"
Hermione looked up at him steaming, and perplexed.
"I'm NOT going to play ALONG here! I will not marry you, honor be damned! I owe you nothing, nor will I ever. You call me despicable, but that's really describing you!" Hermione then ran back inside, leaving Draco to chase after her.
In the Great Hall, everyone stopped talking and eating to see who had interrupted their meal with their screaming.
The King made his way over to Hermione and asked her what was wrong.
"Father, he lies! I never wanted to marry him! He forced me, he tried to make me marry him because of his 'honor' but, he has none you see! He called me despicable, and other things as well, PLEASE don't make me marry him!" Hermione threw herself into her father's arms, and began sobbing.
Draco stood there, fuming and glaring at Hermione's back. Christopher came over to Hermione's side, sword raised and ready to slice Draco in half.
"You dare insult the Princess; you, who swore to love her?!"
Draco stepped back.
"I did NO such thing! She lies; I will have none of it. How can you trust the word of a woman who has been spoiled since she was younger; how can you say that I have forced her to do something that she doesn't want to do?"
The King let go of Hermione and stepped menacingly towards Draco.
"You DARE raise your voice, at Christopher? You dare question my daughter's upbringing?! Forget the peace treaty that we were going to have between our clans, forget the friendship, young Prince!" The King howled.
Hermione, in the background, hid a smile; her eyes mocking Draco.
"Get out of my castle! If I ever see you here, and my daughter won't allow it, I shall cut your throat and hang your body from the highest tower to adorn our walls!"
Draco, followed by a bunch of servants, left the castle without even looking back.
He would find a way to get his revenge.
--Hogwarts, Present.--
Deisi stood there, jaw opened and no intelligent words coming out of her mouth, tried to speak.
"Ho-wa-uh-no-gah!"
"What was that?" Dumbledore asked.
Deisi cleared her throat, and drank some of her soda.
"I did not envision this would happen! Seriously, she probably caused a war with her hate. Well, she would have if the King wasn't going to actually have one…he's Christopher's sister's husband's father, you know." She managed to get out.
"Well, my dear, I do believe this will work out in the long-run. Love always springs up from the deepest hate, and passions."
"Yeah, of course. I think I should go check on Harry and Lavender though, would you like to come along?" she asked Dumbledore.
The old man thought about it for a little while, and then shook his head.
"I have to see Hagrid; some pixies got out in his cabin and won't let him leave."
"Well, okay then." Deisi and Dumbledore walked out of the dormitory and made their way out, closing the door behind them.
Author's Note: Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! So sorry for the wait, I just haven't been inspired, and been to lazy; I will try to update sooner though! And, you know…reviewing ill make me want to write another chapter this week, so review!!!
-Tsuneni2Nocis