Part III

"Rex, are you sure you can't stay home from work today?"
Bree knew it wasn't fair to ask, but things had not gotten any less weird since all of her encounters the previous day. After she and Rex had gotten home from the theater, after checking for people in the shrubbery, and after realizing they didn't want to just go straight to bed, they'd gotten a phone call from Paul Young. Rex had not been pleased to recieve a call right when he was getting ready to make love to his wife and it must have disturbed his sleep, because his response was a cranky one.
"Bree it's my first week back at work in a long time. I can't keep cancelling surgeries just because you don't want to see your friends." Rex turned from the coat closet to look at Bree. He could see the hurt and disappointment in her face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm just looking forward to spending time with you tonight. Alone."
"I know that, Rex. It's not as if I'm asking everyone to show up on my doorstep at all hours of the day and night!"
"I know, I know. I'm sorry." Rex realized he was being dismissive and defensive. Recognition of those attitudes were the first step to solving the problems that caused them, Dr. Goldfine had told him.
"It's nothing." Bree spoke softly, looking down at her hands. She was supposed to be the hostess with the mostest, why couldn't she handle a few guests here and there? All they wanted was to shower her with attention. But now the only man she'd been craving it from was giving it to her in droves, and her 'friends' were all starting to get in the way.
"It is not nothing." Rex insisted, afraid he'd taken them a step back in their progress. He put down his coat and briefcase, closing the distance between them, and took Bree in his arms. He couldn't let this bizarre couple of days interfere with their renewed relationship. "I love you. Are you going to be alright by yourself?"
Bree sighed. As if she had a choice. "I'll be fine."
Rex smiled, pulling back to see if Bree was smiling too. She did her best to convince him he could leave without worrying, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Oh honey, don't look so sad." Rex pleaded. "You're breaking my heart."
Bree reached out to embrace him again, and he squeezed tighter. Taking a deep breath, she decided to quit being a baby and face the day. It's not like her neighbors were out to get her!
"I'm fine, really. Sorry for making such a big deal of it all."

Rex got a bit stuck at the front door again, on account of kissing Bree goodbye over and over and over. It was a game he used to play when they were newlyweds, pretending to be done and then suddenly turning back again to kiss her one more time. It still made Bree giggle after all those years.
"Okay, last time I promise." he said, making his last kiss count. When he turned to go he almost yelped from the shock of seeing Paul Young standing in the doorway.
"Oh!" Bree put a hand to her chest.
"Jesus, Paul!" Rex felt his heart pounding, thinking about what it would feel like if it exploded. "You scared the crap out of me! What are you doing here-" Rex looked at his watch. "At seven in the morning?"
The only sign of emotion on Paul's face was the hint of a smile playing near his lips, like he knew all of their secrets.
"I was interested in seeing Bree today."
"Well you can't." Rex snapped. "I'm taking her on a day trip."
"Oh?" Paul's tiny smile disappeared. His tactic of acting smug and biding his time had finally stopped working for him. He had really just wanted to see Bree today. All day. "Where to?" he asked, stepping toward them. He could always follow them in his car...
"It's a surprise." Rex almost growled the words, sounding anything but happy about it. He reached a hand out to a shocked Bree, who instinctively took it with her own.
"But- oh!" Bree stammered as Rex tugged her past Paul. "But Rex, where, I don't have my-"
"You won't need anything, sweetheart!" Rex said as he pulled her towards the car. "We're going to go somewhere niiice and quiet together." Rex kept an eye on Paul as he helped Bree into the passenger seat. What did Paul have in his hand...was that a jewelry box? They had to get out of there, and fast.
"What is going on around here?" Rex pulled out of the driveway, unsure of their destination.
"I told you, Rex! There's always someone there, just around the corner! I'm scared!" Bree held on to the door handle; Rex was taking the cul-de-sac curves as fast as their station wagon would allow.
"Don't worry, I'm here Bree." Rex saw someone dart into the street and he slammed on the brakes, stopping just short of running down Zach Young. Zach was staring into the car, a plate of cookies in his hand.
"Mrs. Van de Kamp...I made these for you."
Bree screamed, and Rex gunned the engine and swerved around the boy, leaving Wisteria Lane behind.

"Do you have it?" Julie asked as she sat next to the Van de Kamp kids in the school cafeteria. For the first time in their high school careers, Andrew and Danielle were sitting next to each other at lunch. Neither was very happy about it.

"Yeah, we got it." said Andrew. "But for the record, Danielle was the one that reached into the trash can."

"Quit waving it around," Danielle scolded him. "Someone's going to think it's alcohol and take it!" .

Andrew made a face at his sister, and started to literally wave the bottle around.

"You are such an ass!" Danielle crossed her arms and pouted. Julie yoinked the bottle from Andrew's susceptible hand and began a close inspection.

"Looks like the label's been ripped off. Ah, but not all of it...it says...something's Den of Magic."

"Garden of Magic?" Danielle guessed.

"No, Den of Magic...like some magical den that belongs to someone whose name was on the missing part of the label." Julie tried to explain.

"There's an Anastacia's Magic Palace over on Main St."

"Danielle." Andrew began calmly. "It's a Den of Magic. A palace is not a den. Accept it and move on. Isn't Anastacia's a party house for kids anyway?"

"So?" Danielle said, still confused.

Julie patted her shoulder and addressed Andrew instead. "When is the next time you can get into the library?"

"I don't know. They run this school like a prison ever since Lori got caught in the back hallway...well, I think we all remember the life size photos. But Jared is the hall monitor after this lunch period. I think I can work my unique powers of persuasion over him to get to the computers."

"Good. We need to find where this Den of Magic is!"

Andrew, Danielle and Julie walked out of Leroy's Den of Magic, the third Den of Magic they had checked since leaving school. After finding out Jared wasn't as gay as Andrew thought, they'd decided to just skip the rest of the day.

"How big is Fairview?" Danielle shouted. "How can there be this many dens of freakin' magic in the phone book?"

"Hey! Hey you guys!" Someone shouted to them from across the street. It turned out to be two somebodies, a business woman with wavy blonde hair and a petite Latina in red spike heels. They looked both ways before crossing the busy downtown street and ran towards the teens.

"Hi Mrs. Scavo, Mrs. Solis." Julie said, panicking.

"What are you doing out of school?" Gabrielle asked, trying to make conversation.

"There was a bomb threat." Andrew lied easily. "We got the rest of the day off."

"You lucky ducks." Lynette chimed in. "So where's your mom?"

"I don't know..." Andrew crossed his arms, amused but curious. She was not beating around the bush at all, this one.

"Hey," said Gabby. "If you help us out, we promise not to tell Bree you were skipping school." she offered, as if they needed her help.

Andrew played along, if only to see where they were going with this. "Well, we haven't seen her since we left for school this morning..."

Later that day Gabrielle was wandering her house, trying to get some time alone with the phone. The problem was, every time she left a room, Carlos would be right behind her. She let him tail her up to the bedroom before turning around and exploding on him.

"Stop following me, Carlos!"

Carlos stopped in his tracks, crossing his arms. "Where did you go with Lynette today?" he asked suspiciously.

"What are you talking about?"

"I know for a fact you were out with Lynette this afternoon."

"So?! You were out with Tom." Gabrielle countered.

"How did you-" Carlos began to ask, but cut himself off.

"HA!" Gabrielle pointed a finger at his chest. "I didn't know before, but I do now!"

"Are you cheating on me?" asked Carlos, trying unsuccessfully to change the subject.

"Oh, shut up." Gabrielle waved her hand dismissively, and they both sulked.

"Well at least tell me what Andrew and Danielle said." said Carlos.

"Huh?" It made Gabrielle nervous that he knew all of this.

"Tom said that Lynette told him that you ran into Bree's kids today. I want to know what they said."

Gabrielle made a frustrated sound in her throat, cursing the open and honest relationship the Scavo's shared. Couldn't Lynette keep anything to herself?

"They said they hadn't seen Bree since they left for school in the morning." she told him begrudgingly.

"That sucks. I really need to talk to her."

"About what?" Gabrielle narrowed her eyes, a gesture the Solis' had been doing a lot lately.

"...Stuff!" Carlos said, revealing less than nothing.

At that moment they both noticed a car driving down the street from the bedroom window.

Mr. and Mrs. Solis raced each other down Wisteria Lane again, gaining speed as they saw the mystery car pulling into the Van de Kamp driveway. They soon realized that the car was not one owned by the Van de Kamps, and that Bree was not in the car either. As Edie stepped out of the vehicle, she tossed a smug smile their way.

"You two look like you're in a hurry. Need a lift?"

Gabrielle noticed she had a small Victoria's Secret bag in her hand. The expression on Gabrielle's face served as the obvious question; what exactly did Edie have planned? Edie simply chuckled a smug chuckle and let them peek in the bag as her answer.

"She's not home, you know." Gabrielle told her petulantly. Again, Edie answered in a wordless gesture as she jingled her key ring and walked toward Bree's door. Gabrielle and Carlos looked on in disbelief as one of Edie's keys opened the door, as if by magic. They shouldn't have been so shocked; she was the realtor after all.

Lynette and Tom came up to them, having witnessed the scene from across the street. Lynette had on a smug smile of her own. She knew Bree would never go for Edie in lingerie, and that the Scavo's had the upper hand. Gabrielle took notice of the bottle of white wine that the Tom had, as well as the CD in Lynette's hand.

"Ugh, I hate opera." Gabrielle commented, taking out her frustration on the nearest target.

"And that is why Bree will be spending the evening with us." said Tom.

"Well, with me." Lynette corrected him.

Tom looked at her, taken aback. "What?"

"You're going to keep Rex busy."

"Uh, no, that's your job. We discussed this."

"I know we discussed it, but I distinctly remember that I decided how it was going down."

Gabrielle glared at Carlos as the Scavos bickered. "Why didn't you think of something like this? Everyone else has a special little plan!"

"We're not very smart people, are we?" Carlos mocked himself in a silly voice.

A few hours later:

Rex drove cautiously down Wisteria Lane, watching closely for pedestrians. "No one seems to be out..." he commented, though Bree could see for herself the street was deserted. Not even a jump rope or dog walker was in sight. The car crawled slowly down the streat, as they inspected each house from the safety of their glass and metal enclosure.

"Ooo, check the bushes!" said Bree, peering over Rex's arms as they pulled around the shrubs and into their driveway. During their day, spent together walking in the park and eating nice food, they'd begun to doubt themselves. Maybe the people in the neighborhood weren't acting as weird as they thought. Maybe they were just glad that Bree and Rex were back together and doing so well. Maybe they were just showing their support. And maybe instead of pushing them away, Bree and Rex should have welcomed their support. OK so maybe these were all Rex's ideas, and Bree was still as skeptical as Scully at a seance. Edie had pet her hair, for goodness sake.

They exited the station wagon, slow and steady, watching for would-be attackers.

"The coast is clear." Rex assured Bree, but his judgement was premature. It started like the buzz of little bees, and Bree slowly realized there were three little boys at the other end of the street, all saying "Mrs. Van de Kamp! Mrs. Van de Kamp! Mrs. Van de Kamp!" as they ran toward her at full speed.

Bree cocked her head to the side, confused. "What are the Scavo boys doing down there?"

"Bree...run."

"...Huh?"

"Run!"

Parker, Porter and Preston were almost upon them and Bree finally realized that they were going to tackle her if she didn't get out of there, and fast. She turned and took off down the street in heels and a skirt, glancing behind her every few seconds.

"Rex, they're gaining!"

"Run toward the Scavo house, maybe we can herd them back to their pen!" Rex ran toward their yard himself, dodging toy trucks and kid bicycles on his way. He stopped, looking at the items spread out like the smorgasbord of weapons that they were. He picked up two Nerf footballs and an innocent looking dart gun, preparing for their arrival.

"Help meee!" squealed Bree as she ran past him and toward the Scavos' back yard. The boys were close behind and Rex took aim with the dart gun. Poor little Parker, the last in line, got a dart to the forehead and it stopped him in his tracks.

"Oww!" Parker tugged and pulled at the dart, but the suction of the Nerf darts had only improved over the years since Andrew played with such toys. If Parker hadn't been instrumental in pulling up half of Bree's spring garden, Rex might have felt sorry for the boy.

Rex could hear Bree shouting in the backyard. "Boys! I have cookies at my house, you can have them all if you just stop and sit down!" Rex dropped the dart gun, having spent all of its ammo with one shot, and ran back to take care of the other two. He found Bree running circles around the yard, with the twins in hot pursuit.

"Mrs. Van de Kamp, Mrs. Van de Kamp!" they kept shouting, giggling and panting like it was all a game to them. But one look in their eyes and Rex knew they were in it to win it. He held up one of the Nerf footballs and took aim once more, knowing that if he missed the first twin he would probably hit the second. He hadn't played football since college, but surely with a medical degree he could figure out the physics of hitting one of these fast-moving objects.

The first ball connected with Preston's shoulder, and he went down in a sideways somersault. Rex winced, and received an appalled look from Bree. He wasted no time in throwing the second football, which caught Porter in the chest. It put him flat on his back, and Bree was finally able to stop running. She all but fell into Rex's arms, and he helped her walk back to their house.

"But the boys-" Bree protested when she caught her breath.

"They'll be fine." Rex reassured her. "They've done worse to each other."

"No, I'm afraid they'll get back up!"