Part IV

Julie, Danielle and Andrew were all packed onto a small couch in the back room of Divina's Den of Magic. He tried to hide it, but Andrew, along with his female counterparts, was nervously awaiting Divina's return. The back room was set up for tarot card and palm readings, and the items adorning the crowded walls, though cliche, managed to thouroughly creep them out.

"Is that human hair or a horse tail?" Danielle whispered. "And why is it hanging from that bird cage?"

"Does it matter?" Andrew replied, sounding agitated.

"Aw, is wittle Andrew scared of a voodoo curse?" Danielle taunted him, glad to finally be off the recieving end of his teasing.

"Shut up."

"Wow, you weren't kidding Danielle." said Julie.

"Ever since he saw that episode of The X-Files when he was ten..."

"I was nine," Andrew argued, "And you were the one that asked our Sunday school teacher about it."

The beaded curtain rustled, and Divina appeared in the doorway. "Alright guys, I'm gonna cut to the chase." The teens were confused. When they'd entered Divina's Den and shown her the mysterious bottle, she'd sounded...different.

"What happened to your accent?" asked Danielle.

"And weren't you...older?" Julie chimed in.

Divina now spoke with a clear American accent, and her back had miraculously straightened in her time away. "Look, my name is Ashley and I'm 32. I'm not from Romania or Haiti, I'm not even that superstitious when you get down to it, and after my grandmother died and left me the store, most of the stuff I sell here I get through a catalogue."

"Yeah," Andrew said, nodding slowly. "We all love a good heart to heart, but would you mind telling us why you've chosen us as a test audience to your riveting life story?"

"Well, obviously I didn't make this, but..." Divina trailed off, holding up the empty bottle to the dim light. She reached for the light switch, and suddenly many of the things that seemed so spooky moments before were illuminated and revealed to be plastic.

"But??" Julie prodded her

"But...I think this was a love potion. Whoever drinks it falls in love with the person whose voice they last heard."

Julie, Danielle and Andrew all laughed at the same time, but Divina looked concerned.

"Did someone you know drink this?"

Andrew finally stopped laughing. "Uh, yeah..."

"Actually, a bunch of people." Julie chimed in.

"Andrew spiked the punch at our mom's party." said Danielle. "Everyone drank it, except for our parents and the three of us."

"Oh boy...how long ago was this?"

"The party was on Saturday, so...two days?"

"Oh boy." Divina said again, and began to rummage through her shelves. "We have to act fast."

"I thought you said all of it was fake?" said Andrew.

"I said most of it was fake. My grandmother left me a few things." She found what she was looking for behind a jar of dried something-or-other. "So is everyone on your block mauling each other or what?"

"Their mother was making a toast right before everyone drank it, so all attention seems to be on her."

"Oh, that poor woman..."

"More like poor us." said Danielle, crossing her arms.

"Is something bad going to happen?" Julie asked as she watched Divina retrieve more empty bottles from the shelves.

"After three days, the "spell", if you will, becomes kind of permanent. And a person in love through this potion can be relentless. I assume your neighbors have been acting out of character?"

"You could say that..."

"Just make sure you get them all to drink this." Divina set down a set of three bottles, almost identical to the one they'd returned.

"How do we do that?" asked Danielle.

"Divina, do you have an antidote to the dumbass potion my sister drank?" asked Andrew.

"How about the asshole potion my brother guzzles every morning?"

"You guys!" Julie interrupted their squabbling. "We'll figure it out, let's just get back there before something crazy happens."

As Rex opened the door to his house, he and Bree found out why their street seemed so abandoned; everyone was in their living room. The music that blared from the stereo speakers kept alternating between opera and salsa, and there was a din of tense conversations.

"Bree, you're home!" Mike greeted her, and all heads turned. Bree clutched Rex's arm, whimpering pathetically through the grimace of a smile on her face. Even Karen McKlusky and the ubiquitous woman-with-a-baby-stroller were there. Lynette and Gabrielle abruptly stopped pretending to get along and scurried over to Bree.

"Gabrielle!" Bree exclaimed, noticing that she had a fat lip. "Did Carlos- !?"

"What...oh!" Gabrielle laughed. "Oh, god no! It was Lynette."

Bree looked to Lynette for confirmation, and saw that Lynette had a black eye and scratches on her forearm.

"Yes, Gabby and I engaged in minor fisticuffs." said Lynette.

"What on Earth were you fighting for?"

"Oh that's not important, is it?" Gabrielle brushed it off. Susan walked up behind her, and Bree could see that she too had very minor injuries.

"Susan, were you in this fight too?"

"No, I just tripped and fell. But I'm fine, really!" Susan wrapped her arms around Bree for a warm hug. "Doesn't that just make everything better?" she sighed. Over Susan's shoulder Bree got a glance of the living room. Tom and Carlos were fighting over the stereo, and half hidden behind the chair in the corner were Paul and Zach, skulking as they often did.

"You really look nice." Mike told Bree, and turned to Rex. "Doesn't she look nice?"

Bree gently but firmly pulled Susan's arms from around her, and began to wade through the crowd. If she could just get to the stereo and turn it down, she thought, then maybe she could ask them all politely to go home. Lynette and Gabrielle followed close behind, elbowing each other all the way.

"Hey, you know, Edie is upstairs." Lynette told the back of Bree's head.

"She bought this ridiculous lingerie," Gabrielle chimed in.

"And she refuses to leave your bed until we're all gone!" said Susan.

Karen McKlusky approached Bree, a book and a drink mix under her arm.

"I thought we could read some Agatha Christie and drink cocoa. You'd have to light the fire of course, my arthritis..."

"What a lovely thought," Bree replied. "But Rex and I-"

"Would much rather listen to opera!" Tom butted in, speaking more to Carlos than to Bree.

"For the last time Scavo, I am here to teach Bree how to salsa!" Carlos punched a button on the stereo. The volume seemed to increase every time they switched back and forth between the Scavo's CD and Carlos' favorite radio station.

"Let's play charades!" said the woman with the stroller, and Bree stared at her.

"Who are you again?"

The teens hurried home from Divina's and happened upon an unusual scene. The three Scavo boys were out in the yard, but they weren't their rambunctious selves. In fact, it looked like all of their energy was being put toward removing a sticky dart from Parker's head.

"Ow!" he'd say, swatting his brothers' hands away.

"If you stay still we can pull it off!" shouted Porter.

"It hurts!"

"Quit being such a weenie!"

As Julie got closer she saw how dirty the twins' clothes were, as if they'd been tumbling in mud.

"What happened to you guys?" she asked, and they all started shouting at once.

"We were trying to give Mrs. Van de Kamp a hug,"

"But she ran away so we chased her -"

"And Mr. Van de Kamp threw toys at us!"

"Wow..." said Danielle. Things seemed to have escalated since yesterday.

"My dad threw toys at you?" Andrew could scarcely believe it. He thought Mom had always been the one for corporal punishment. "You guys must have been running pretty fast."

"Yeah, we almost got her." said Preston, dejected.

"Well, here..." Andrew took one of Divina's bottles out of his pocket. "Drink some of this."

"Andrew, wait!" Danielle yelped. "Do you really think we should test it on little kids?"

"We're not little kids!" Porter informed her, wiping his nose with his sleeve.

Andrew and Danielle looked at Julie for the tie breaker, but she was unsure.

"What is it?" Preston asked, his curiosity piqued. If three big kids were interested in it, it had to be cool.

"It's candy." Andrew lied. "Just try it." He took the cap off and handed the flask to Preston, who took a cautious sip. It didn't take him long to find out how bad it tasted. His face contorted in revulsion and he held the bottle away from his body.

"That's disgusting!" he declared, spitting the excess onto the lawn. His brothers recoiled when the mysterious drink got close to them.

"Now you guys have to drink some." said Andrew.

"No way!" shouted Porter, and Parker shook his head no, making the dart wobble back and forth.

"Come on, it gives you super powers. Truly powerful superhero serum tastes like butt. It's the trade-off for getting the powers. Do you really want Preston to be the only one with laser vision and ice breath?"

Porter took the bottle back from Andrew, and took a sip.

"Not too much," cautioned Julie. "Or you'll turn into a hideous super villain."

Parker was still skeptical.

"I bet that dart will come right off if you try some..."

Porter handed the bottle to Parker, who took the tiniest taste possible. Julie tried pulling the dart sideways, and with a sound like a popping soap bubble it was released from his forehead. Porter and Preston looked amazed.

"Coooool!"

"Hey, what about the ice breath?"

"It won't take effect until you've had a full night's sleep," Julie improvised. "Go inside and sit down, OK?"

"I feel sleepy..." said Preston. His brothers didn't look far behind.

"You guys take the rest of the antidote," Julie said to Andrew and Danielle. "I'll make sure these guys make it inside."

If they thought the scene on the Scavo's yard was a little off, Andrew and Danielle walked into something downright unnatural when they entered their house. It was like the parties that their high school friends hosted - loud and confusing - except everyone there was old. They weren't sure how to get everybody's attention.

"Go make some punch." Andrew whispered to his sister.

"But I don't know how!"
"Just put some ginger ale in a bowl!" Andrew jammed the remaining two bottles of potion into her hand. "And dump the rest of this in there."

Andrew waded through the crowd to stand next to his parents. "Dad, get some cups for our guests."

"Where...?" Rex asked, as clueless as Danielle.

"In the pantry, dear." Bree told him, just as puzzled by Andrew's request.

"I, uh..." Andrew began, as most everyone was now staring at him. They looked irritated by his interruption. "I want to make a toast."

"Is that really necessary?" Gabrielle asked, trying her hardest to be polite for Bree's sake.

"Most of us were about to leave anyway." said Lynette, throwing meaningful glances at everyone other than herself.

"I think my mom really wants you to have more punch." Andrew made eye contact with Bree, willing her to confirm what he was saying. Bree searched for the familiar bitterness or malice that he usually reserved for her, but she could see he was really trying to convey something inmportant, something he didn't want to say in front of all these crazy people. Rex and Danielle emerged from the kitchen, carrying a punch bowl full of counter-potion between them.

"Please, everyone?" Bree implored their guests. They murmured their reluctnant approval and started to take the punch.

Carlos got one wiff of the bowl and made a face. "Did you make this Bree?"

Danielle caught her mother's eye and nodded emphatically.

"Uh...yes!" Bree played along. "A new recipe."

"I thought you just threw ginger ale and fruit juice in a bowl and called it done?" Karen commented.

"Well that just shows how much you know!" Gabrielle scolded her, gladly taking her cup from Rex.

"So," Rex interrupted. "What are we toasting, Andrew?"

Danielle handed Andrew a glass, and he raised it awkwardly into the air. "To...my mom."

"Hear hear!" someone shouted. Everyone looked at the corner past the fireplace, and Paul slinked back into the shadows.

"To my mom...the strongest woman I know. It's not always easy having a family like ours, but she always manages to, uh... pull through. And I do appreciate her cooking."

Wow that punch smelled awful, thought Andrew. He felt bad making people think that Bree'd made it. Hopefully his short speech would make up for the fact that he'd caused this whole debacle...but he doubted it.

"Everyone drink up!"

It took some longer than others, but within a couple of minutes everyone had curled up on the floor to take a nap.

"OK..." said Rex, looking around at all of his snoring neighbors. "What the hell just happened here?"

Andrew and Danielle looked at each other, wondering where to start.

That evening, the Van de Kamps bonded over an activity that they could all take part in as a family. Divina had warned them that anyone who drank the antidote would be out cold for an entire night, so they had to carry all of their neighbors to their homes. If she was as accurate with the antidote's primary effects as she was with side effects, the residents of Wisteria Lane would wake up the next morning blissfully unaware of all the awkward and embarassing things they'd been doing for the past few days.

"Thank goodness I bought this wheelbarrow at Mrs. Huber's estate sale!" Bree huffed and puffed, wheeling Gabrielle down the road. "She's heavier than she looks! Oh dear, I hope she didn't hear that."

"Danielle, help your mother get her up the front steps." said Rex. He and Andrew were in front of the girls, carrying Carlos. When they'd finished arranging the Solis' in a plausible position, they met back up with Julie.

"The kids have been in bed for hours." Julie reported. "I guess we should get some sleep and see what happens?"

"Sleep sounds good." said an exhausted Bree. "Thanks for your help, Julie."

"Any time." she replied, more out of habit than anything else. She was pretty sure she wouldn't want to do any of this again.

"Andrew, we'll talk tomorrow." said Rex, sounding serious and disciplinary.

In order to convince their parents that Divina's potion was a cure to the love spell, Andrew and Danielle had to explain what had caused the spell in the first place. Surprisingly it was Rex that wanted to ground them both for life. After Andrew's little toast, Bree had been remarkably calm about the situation.

"That's everyone, right?" asked Rex. He and Bree looked at each other then, eyes widening. They'd suddenly remembered the one neighbor that had handcuffed herself to their bed.

"Edie!"

The next morning, things were back to normal on Wisteria Lane. Relatively speaking.

Most residents woke up with a sore neck, not sure what day it was or why they were wearing regular clothes instead of their pajamas. They chalked it up to morning grogginess, though the pajamas thing would bother them for days.

As they got ready for work, Lynette remarked to Tom that it felt like a Sunday, not a Tuesday. Carlos rubbed his right shoulder, and told Gabrielle that he wanted fluffier pillows for their bed. Edie assumed that she'd gotten rip roaring drunk then sobered up before coming home alone. Why else would she have covered up that fancy underwear with a t-shirt? Must have been a cold night.

None of them would know why, but at some point during the day they would find themselves thinking about Bree Van de Kamp, and wondering what she was up to.