A remarkable start of term

The great hall was overflowing with laughter and talk and the sound of hundreds of pupils enjoying their feast. The youngest students were bouncing with excitement to be finally part of the student body at Hogwarts while the older ones tried to act calmer but could hardly conceal their own happiness to be back. Only the seventh years formed silent islands in the crowd, soaking in as much of their last welcome feast and already suffering from a feeling of deep loss at the thought of leaving their beloved school for good at the end of the year.

Lily sat at the very centre of the Gryffindor table. She was only half listening to her dorm mates catching up on each others holidays, apart from an occasional nod of her head or an encouraging sound she did not take part in the conversation.

Her eyes and mind were firmly fixed on her co head, who was sitting quit a bit down at the table; enjoying his feast in blissful silence.

Ah the mystery that was James Potter!

After years of bickering and fighting they had finally become friends during the last few month of the last term. When they were partnered for a potions project and were forced to spend a huge amount of time together; she found out really soon she couldn't have been more wrong about him. He was neither a cruel bully nor an arrogant git.

She rather enjoyed his little jokes and pranks once she stopped suspecting malice behind his every move. And she learned to overlook his differences with Snape, the only one who ever really suffered from his wand, but -mind you- it was rarely James who started the fighting.

And for his insufferable arrogance, she had been wrong about that too. He was certainly proud of but never boasting about his skills once he overcame the annoying habit of his to try to impress her with his newest achievements.

And there was so much more to him; he was devoted to his work, helpful and attentive, loyal to his friends, honest and kind and his quick wit could always make her laugh.

Once she had parted with her prejudices about him, their friendship blossomed quickly and after a few weeks she hardly knew how she ever dealt without him.

After a summer spent in sending owls to and fro on a daily basis, she had certainly expected to pick up the relationship exactly where they left it at the end of the term.

The more surprised she was when they met at the head compartment on the train. He was glad to see her, no doubts about that, but after hugging her closely, he withdrew into a corner and questioned her about her family and friends in a way that was rather polite than friendly, hardly ever looking her in the eye at all. After the prefect meeting he literally vanished and had not spoken to her since.

So while she faked enough attention to her friends to not offend them and nibbled at her chicken leg, Lily was busily searching through her last letters to him and tried to remember every word she said on the train, trying to find out what she could have done wrong. She must have offended him in someway or other, there was no better explanation for his behaviour.

When Dumbledore sent them of to their dorms, she resolved in talking to him as soon as possible, preferably tonight, to make sure no minor misunderstanding would stain that precious friendship.

While James as head boy supervised the house elves disposing the luggage trunks, Lily stayed back in the great hall to take care of the last straggles and directed them kindly to their respective houses.

When she finally arrived at Gryffindor tower most of her fellow students had already gone to bed and James was nowhere to be seen.

Postponing her talk to the first opportunity she would get in the morning, Lily climbed up the stairs to her dorm and plopped down on her four-poster bed in the far corner of the room. Unlucky for both of them, someone was already occupying her bed.

The tiny blonde girl nursed her bruised thigh, where Lily had placed her elbow rather hard, and contemplated Lily in silence.

Megan Jones had been Lily's best friend from the first moment they laid eyes on each other. Both girls were muggleborn and scarred to death when first coming to Hogwarts. They found themselves in the same compartment on their very first train ride and ended up sharing a hanky to wipe their tearstained faced and a bar of chocolate to calm the nerves. And when they arrived at the sorting they were convinced that everything would be much easier with a friend to share the good and bad times with.

Megan was even shorter than Lily, her short blonde curls resembled a mop and her huge blue eyes twinkled merrily behind round wire-rimmed spectacles that were supposed to give her 'a touch of dear John'.

After assessing each other for a few seconds in silence, Megan patted the cushion beside her and Lily scrambled to her side.

'Care to tell me what was going on at the feast?' and before Lily's lips could even form an 'N', Megan shook her head 'Don't you 'nothing' me Lily, I know you better than my own reflection, you were completely out of character tonight. Normally you listen to your friends, normally you can't keep silent for more than 2 minutes and you hardly ever wrinkle your nose in such an unbecoming way for more than 5 seconds!'

Lily couldn't help but smile. 'James, it's James! He's been too odd today.'

Megan let out a satisfied 'Ah!' and leaned back comfortably to listen.

And while their three other dorm mates were brushing their teeth and washing up in the bathroom, still giggling and talking like there was no tomorrow, Lily related the whole of today's events to her best friend.

'I really wanted to talk to him tonight, but when I came back from head duties he was off to bed already…' Lily trailed of and ended with a sigh.

The two girls sat in silence for a few moments until Megan said: 'Did you ever consider he might still be in love with you? Couldn't he possible be unable to handle a friendship with you? Couldn't he still want to be more than friends?'

Lily breathed an unhappy laugh 'Believe me, I thought about it, but it's not very likely. Firstly he never was "in love" with me, it was just a little crush and the challenge of chasing me around. And secondly, it has been moth since we became friends; he never acted that odd neither during the end of sixth year nor anytime during the summer. And don't you think he would be over any kind of funny feelings concerning me by now?'

'I really don't know Lily. I really don't know him all that well. You may be right, you may be wrong. I just think it's a possibility. He may have realised during these 8 weeks of summer, that he still has feelings for you, and seeing you this morning made him uneasy about it, about you, about the whole friendship thing. Just talk to him in the morning, if I am wrong, you hopefully can sort things quickly.' Megan got up and patted Lily on the head.

Grasping her friend's wrist Lily whispered 'And if you are right?'

'Then you have to make up your mind, and decide if you want him or not!' with that Megan closed the hangings and went of to her own bed.

Lily sat in the darkness, hugging her knees, questioning her own heart and brain 'Would I want James Potter?' The answer was simple: Yes she wanted James, she wanted him to be a constancy in her live, she wanted to share her thoughts and emotions with him, but she did not want him to be her boyfriend!